Article: Your Dad Weighing Options For Mispronouncing Marwin Gonzalez

[RandBalls Stu]

Minnesota's alleged interest in free agent utility man Marwin Gonzalez has sparked speculation on his potential place on the Twins’ 25-man roster.

 

For Your Dad, though, the real guessing game is what he’s going to call him.

 

Sources close to Your Family confirmed on Thursday that conversations about the possible signing concluded with Your Dad wondering why they’re signing “this Merlin Gonzalez character” instead of Bryce Harper.“He was pretty animated,” said Your Stepmom. “He kept going on about how they have all this money to spend and that this Merlin fellow wasn’t going to help them beat Cleveland.”

 

Your Dad, who was heard discussing the effectiveness of Twins reliever “Travis Hamburger” last Labor Day weekend at a family picnic, appears to be weighing a couple options in misremembering the 29-year-old veteran’s name.

 

“Once Wheel of Fortune got done, he was fired up about the whole thing,” said Your Brother, who is living at home after the Bay Area start-up he worked at that sold artisan soaps over the internet went belly up. “It was all Dallas Kutcher (sic) this, Craig Kilborn (sic) that, and here the Twins are signing Merman.”

 

Your Brother confirmed that he meant the former Houston Astros mainstay, and not the fearsome half-man/half-fish.

 

“When he said Merlin earlier, I figured he’d stick with that, but the Merman thing was unexpected,” said Your Brother, who had to know that his former company’s business plan was unsound but has been chasing that big paycheck ever since dropping out of Hamline and breaking off his engagement with Nicole, who, let’s face it, was way too good for him and is probably happier with Nigel, her yoga instructor. “I really want to see how this plays out if Gonzalez signs and plays well.”

 

A person close to the situation said this has the potential to be Your Dad’s greatest Twins-related befuddlement since the Mike Pagliarulo Incident of 1991.

 

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[Don Walcott]

A story about my family on Twins Daily!! I'd feel honored, except this hit a little too close to home.

[TFRazor]

I don't know. He may help us beat Cleveland. Merlin is a bit of a wizard after all.

[nicksaviking]

I think Drunk Uncle is going to have something to say about that bat flip too.

[Nick Nelson]

Excellent Craig Kilborn reference. An underrated Minnesota legend! 

 

[ScooterDance]

100% my dad

[bighat]

Too funny man, I literally had to LOL. Nice.

[USAFChief]

Personally, I've settled on Marvin.

[RatherBeGolfing]

My Dad still talks about how bad Delbert (Delmon) was in the outfield

[Marcusesm]

My dad will definitely call him Marvin.

[Otto von Ballpark]

My dad once saw the sponsor's graphic during a pitching change on TV, and asked us, "Who's this new pitcher, Verizon Wireless?" (He pronounced it VARE-eh-zahn, but strangely pronounced "Wireless" correctly and still assumed it was a surname.)

[RaymondLuxuryYacht]

Now pronounce it Dunn, as in done deal to the Twins

[MMMordabito]

 

My dad once saw the sponsor's graphic during a pitching change on TV, and asked us, "Who's this new pitcher, Verizon Wireless?" (He pronounced it VARE-eh-zahn, but strangely pronounced "Wireless" correctly and still assumed it was a surname.)

 

Now you just have to wait a couple years .... He'll be able to say "What is this new Booster Graterol sponsor? Is that one of these new goddamn clean hybrid fuels?"

[Nine of twelve]

Marwin Gardens, anyone?

[Parker Hageman]

Randball's Stu, Oracle of Twins Daily.

[Don Walcott]

He's good insurance for Miguel Santos.

[DJL44]

This is when I miss Bob Casey

[flags]

i'm not sure about my dad, but i don't expect bert blyleven to say his name correctly one time this season

[IndianaTwin]

Harry Carey would have called him something like Merle Zelaznog.  

[Brock Beauchamp]

Randball Stu has been absolutely killing it.

[Otto von Ballpark]

 

Randball Stu has been absolutely killing it.

Who's Randy Ballstew?

[ewen21]

Rock oh ball deli.

[Mike Sixel]

Best one so far!

[TheLeviathan]

I would wager on Martinez Gonzalez.....but this was brilliantly done.

[Brock Beauchamp]

 

Who's Randy Ballstew?

I was trying to figure out a way to butcher his name so kudos to you.

[Otto von Ballpark]

 

I was trying to figure out a way to butcher his name so kudos to you.

Your butcher's name is Sudoku?

[gil4]

 

A story about my family on Twins Daily!! I'd feel honored, except this hit a little too close to home.

Same here. I only opened the article because I thought it might eventually tell me the correct pronunciation. I guess Marvin and Merlin are in play until someone tells me otherwise.

[David HK]

 

Excellent Craig Kilborn reference. An underrated Minnesota legend! 

 

Just looking at that post make me wanna start doing coke again, like back in the day.

[David HK]

 

He's good insurance for Miguel Santos.

Bert?

 

Issat you?

[ewen21]

 

Best one so far!

I try to amuse