Article: Game Thread: Twins @ Cardinals, 5/7-7:10pm CT

[Riverbrian]

It’s just a little, itty-bitty two-game series that begins tonight under the Arch in St. Louis. The Twins probably won’t bother unpacking their bags since they wrap up the series tomorrow at 12Noon. That’ll be two games played in less than 24 hours. They might even sleep in the clubhouse.

I’ve heard the Busch Stadium concierge does a great job doing whatever it is that a concierge actually does. His directions to the Arch were nearly accurate. After you pull yourself out of the Mississippi River, dry off a little and look around… you realize how close he was indeed.

Here are some things to think about:

 

1. Top Non-Trump News Story (Or Stories):

Don Gorske, 64, from Fond Du Lac, Wisconsin has now consumed his 30,000th Big Mac and he has a goal of getting to 40,000, which he figures will take another 14 years. Since he was 18, Don has eaten two Big Mac’s a day for the past 46 years. He figures that the Big Mac makes up about 90% of his diet. He said that he can’t remember the last time he had an apple or Banana. He recently added Fruit N’ Yogurt Parfaits from McDonalds because his wife was insisting on more fruits and vegetables. Yeah, yeah… nag nag nag. As for his health, he insists that he is healthy as a horse, weighing 190 pounds with cholesterol at 165. Just in case anyone thinks he is making this up, he saved the receipts to prove it; which, in my opinion, is really the strangest thing... the fact that he had the foresight to save all 30,000 receipts. The guy is a genius… when he had that first Big Mac… he knew that one day, 46 years later… he would have to prove it with a receipt. Don Gorske already achieved fame in the Guinness Book of World Records, in 2016 when he consumed his 28,788th Big Mac. Much like nobody remembers who finished 2nd in the Masters Golf tournament, nobody can remember anymore who was the guy who had a mere 28,787 Big Macs and who also… had to, of course, save all those receipts to prove it.

2. Our Twins:
Its National league rules so that means no DH. In case you are wondering how our pitchers have done at the plate, Fernando Romero pitches tonight and he has never swung a bat in a minor league game. Jake Odorizzi pitches on Tuesday, he is 2 for 17 over his career. Robbie Grossman is currently 2 for his last 18 so Odorizzi will also be available to pinch hit for Grossman on Monday.

3. The Cards:

The Cardinals are currently in 1st place in the NL Central but the Twins timing still might be better than Yadier Molina’s. Yadier is expected to be out a month after getting hit with a foul tip right where you don’t want it. If you like cringing, here ya go... Yadier suffered a traumatic hematoma, which is a solid swelling of clotted blood between the tissues, and it required emergency surgery. Upon hearing the news… Joe Mauer crossed his legs and said… “Yeah… I’m never going back to catching”.

4. Today’s Joe M Conversation:
Morgan: OK… here’s an interesting question: How many kissable areas are there on a woman’s body?

Mauer: 74!

Morgan: What do you think Joe?

Maddon: Umm… 3?

Mauer: 74!

Morgan: How about you? What’s your guess?

Montana: I read the correct answer in one of my magazines. The Answer is 11.

Mauer: 74!

Morgan: Alright, McCarthy… give me the answer.

McCarthy: C’mon, now… just one… the lips of course.

Mauer: 75!

5. Songwriting:

I wonder why nobody in St. Louis has written the “Kolten Wong Song”. Once it is written, I will wonder why it isn’t sung by Paul DeJong.
____________________

Lineups:

TWINS
1. Joe Mauer(L) 1B
2. Brian Dozier(R ) 2B
3. Max Kepler(L) CF
4. Eduardo Escobar(S) 3B
5. Eddie Rosario(L) LF
6. Robbie Grossman(S) RF
7. Bobby Wilson(R ) C
8. Ehire Adrianza(S) SS
9. Fernando Romero(R ) P

CARDINALS
1. Matt Carpenter (L) 1B
2. Harrison Bader (R ) CF
3. Dexter Fowler (S) RF
4. Marcell Ozuna (R ) LF
5. Jedd Gyorko (R ) 3B
6. Paul DeJong (R ) SS
7. Kolten Wong (L) 2B
8. Carson Kelly (R ) C
9. John Gant (R ) P

Gametime forecast: clear sunny skies moving into clear evening skies as the sun sets at 7:59pm. The temp starts at 75 deg F and will drop 10 deg over the course of the game. Winds from the ENE at 5-8mph.

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[Blake]

Excellent job, as per usual, RB!

[sampleSizeOfOne]

Does this 2 game series portend an eventual symmetric 2 game series at Target field?

 

I know symmetry arguments can get wierd. Just the other day someone was discussing a fire code. I asked if there was a hire code...

[USAFChief]

I wonder why nobody in St. Louis has written the “Kolten Wong Song”. Once it is written, I will wonder why it isn’t sung by Paul DeJong.

 

Even one verse would be too long.

[Han Joelo]

 

I wonder why nobody in St. Louis has written the “Kolten Wong Song”. Once it is written, I will wonder why it isn’t sung by Paul DeJong.

 

Even one verse would be too long.

Not if you'd been hitting the bong...

[terrydactyls]

Back in the early '80s, a group of us were sent to St. Louis by DoD to do an audit on a defense contractor. One of the younger members asked me if I knew how the arch was built. So I told her that the engineers first built a giant ring. When that was complete, they dug a giant hole that was as wide than the ring and as far across as the diameter of the ring. And lastly, with the help of giant cranes, the ring was placed upright in the hole and dirt dumped into the hole to stabilize the ring. She was very impressed.

[David HK]

 

Not if you'd been hitting the bong...

Dude.......

[wsnydes]

 

I wonder why nobody in St. Louis has written the “Kolten Wong Song”. Once it is written, I will wonder why it isn’t sung by Paul DeJong.

 

Even one verse would be too long.

A too long a song about Wong sung by DeJong?

 

Tell me I'm wrong...

Edited May 7, 2018 by wsnydes

[Nine of twelve]

Well, even though we wanted Blake to do the intro again to extend the winning streak, posting the first reply should be enough to appease the gods of baseball superstition.

[Dantes929]

 

Back in the early '80s, a group of us were sent to St. Louis by DoD to do an audit on a defense contractor. One of the younger members asked me if I knew how the arch was built. So I told her that the engineers first built a giant ring. When that was complete, they dug a giant hole that was as wide than the ring and as far across as the diameter of the ring. And lastly, with the help of giant cranes, the ring was placed upright in the hole and dirt dumped into the hole to stabilize the ring. She was very impressed.

I'm impressed too.  There was an audit of a defense contractor?

[Blake]

 

Back in the early '80s, a group of us were sent to St. Louis by DoD to do an audit on a defense contractor. One of the younger members asked me if I knew how the arch was built. So I told her that the engineers first built a giant ring. When that was complete, they dug a giant hole that was as wide than the ring and as far across as the diameter of the ring. And lastly, with the help of giant cranes, the ring was placed upright in the hole and dirt dumped into the hole to stabilize the ring. She was very impressed.

I'll have to remember that one!

[Blake]

 

Well, even though we wanted Blake to do the intro again to extend the winning streak, posting the first reply should be enough to appease the gods of baseball superstition.

I'm retiring. I'm a perfect 3-0. At least until my next game threads are due, anyway. (sorry chief, didn't mean to give you a heart attack)

[Blake]

 

A too long a song about Wong sung by DeJong?

 

Tell me I'm wrong...

Shouldn't that be "Tell me I'm Wong?"

[Craig Arko]

Gangwong Style.

 

[wsnydes]

 

I'm retiring. I'm a perfect 3-0. At least until my next game threads are due, anyway. (sorry chief, didn't mean to give you a heart attack)

Must be a gambler.  Quit before you blow your winnings!  I can respect that.

[Brock Beauchamp]

A couple of question marks going against a good team this series: Romero and Odorizzi.

 

Take the split and get your asses back home, Twins.

[Squirrel]

Brian, I'm surprised you didn't mention anything about the pitcher we are facing, and the way he pitches.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X97DeYup70s

[sampleSizeOfOne]

Back in the early '80s, a group of us were sent to St. Louis by DoD to do an audit on a defense contractor. One of the younger members asked me if I knew how the arch was built. So I told her that the engineers first built a giant ring. When that was complete, they dug a giant hole that was as wide than the ring and as far across as the diameter of the ring. And lastly, with the help of giant cranes, the ring was placed upright in the hole and dirt dumped into the hole to stabilize the ring. She was very impressed.

So we can tow the earth out of the way in case of impending astroid collision?

[70charger]

 

 

5. Songwriting:

 

I wonder why nobody in St. Louis has written the “Kolten Wong Song”. Once it is written, I will wonder why it isn’t sung by Paul DeJong.

 

I, for one, think Sisqo should sing it.

 

"Kolten Wong wong wong wong wong."

[70charger]

Also, lol at today's Joe M. conversation.

[IndianaTwin]

[USAFChief]

 

I'm retiring. I'm a perfect 3-0. At least until my next game threads are due, anyway. (sorry chief, didn't mean to give you a heart attack)

Too late.

[slash129]

 

A couple of question marks going against a good team this series: Romero and Odorizzi.

 

Take the split and get your asses back home, Twins.

 

Romero needs to win the battle of the rookies today, because the odds tomorrow against Martinez will be much worse.

[diehardtwinsfan]

So... to the real question, how many times does RB reuse his Joe M conversation?

[gocgo]

So I thought I would dip my toe back into baseball by watching some MLB network.  High Heat was on.  I have to ask the question why Chris Russo isn't on the YES network?  Kind of obvious that he really only wants to talk about the Yankees.  I just found him annoying.  I can't be the only one.

[sampleSizeOfOne]

Also, lol at today's Joe M. conversation.

There was a joke in it? I took it for scientific discourse. Albeit i would have considered using an analog model...

 

But there is something to be said for the discrete take on the subject matter.

[Tom Froemming]

I'm a lot less concerned about Miguel Sano's diet after learning about Mr. Gorske

[ashbury]

I'm trying to put this tactfully, but Don Gorske did not wind up looking the way I expected.

 

[FunnyPenguin]

 

I'm a lot less concerned about Miguel Sano's diet after learning about Mr. Gorske

Lol, or maybe he's trying to beat him and realizes he needs to make up some time?

[ashbury]

There was a joke in it?

Do some research on Little Johnny, and then get back to us.