What Does Kody Funderburk Look Like?

[RandBalls Stu]

The lanky, shaggy Twins reliever resembles somebody or something. But who? But what?

Image courtesy of Matt Blewett-USA TODAY Sports

Recent Twins bullpen addition Kody Funderburk stands out for a couple reasons:

1. That name. Kody with a “K” especially. Just a joyful collision of consonants and vowels.

2. That hair.

There’s a third reason, actually. He looks like that guy. You know the one. It’s on the tip of my tongue. You know? Him?

In truth, Funderburk looks like a lot of things. Here’s what I’ve come up with:

• The mechanic who takes one look under the hood, shakes his head, and is about to tell you this is going to be expensive and the part is on back order.
• The guy from your hometown who set the record for most Busch Light Drafts consumed at the 2014 Homecoming after party. “Would have had a couple more if the cops hadn’t showed up,” he says to this day.
• A friendly scarecrow who comes to life during the annual Cornstalk Festival.
• A RealTree jacket that was accidentally stocked in the baseball section of the West Fargo Scheel’s.
• Bass player in a nu-metal band that got very popular in 1999 for a song about being mad at society. He’s embarrassed about the rap verse, too, but the royalties are enough to keep him from needing a real job.
• Overwhelmed dad in the pick-up line after school, driving a Bondo-ed minivan. The MY KID BEAT UP YOUR HONOR ROLL STUDENT bumper sticker came from the previous owner, he’d scrape it off if he wasn’t going straight to back to work after taking Khloe and Kaydence to their stepdad’s house. Sure would be nice if Gordon could pick them up once in a while, but I guess his job at the courthouse is more important. Sick of Gordon.
• The entire 2019 Houston Astros bullpen smashed together.
• A BMX racer who changes his name to Kody Thunderburk for competitions. His mom doesn’t like it.
• In a coming-of-age movie, he’s the guy who is part of the bully’s friend group, then sees the bully for who he really is, shakes his head, gives the nerd protagonist a bro hug and says, “I always got your back, Brian.”
• A skateboarder who knows where all the drained pools in your neighborhood are.

View full article

[Doctor Wu]

Looking at the photo, he appears to have once been a member of the Ozark Mountain Daredevils, circa 1975. 

[stringer bell]

Right now, despite the one hiccup, he's on my projected post-season active roster.

[Brazilian Twins Fan]

[William K Johnson]

I know it is early, but like what I have seen so far.

[Hrbeks Divot]

Thunderburk? I prefer Thunderstruck if he’s changing names for competition. Plus he’s got a ready made entrance song if he becomes a closer! 🤘🏼

[Dave Borton]

If only he would braid the locs, he could sign a contract as Johnny Depp's sidekick in the 7th episode of "Pirates of the Caribbean." The camera would pan on Kody in high leverage situations.

Call him Captain Kody Klutch. Have a broom hanging where a sword would be. Depp could play lines off the broom's presence. Capt Kody's stock answer would be, "I don't need a cutter; it's a sweeper."

If Depp gets canned, there would be a change up in the cast. Kody could relieve him.

[Dave The Dastardly]

A Boy Named Sue?

 

 

[Richie the Rally Goat]

[cooldude]

He looks like the dad on Pretty in Pink.

[chinmusic]

I wonder if he plays the ukelele. Distant cousin of Tiny Tim?

[Mortimerkenny21]

He could cornrow it and go for the Kenny Powers look.

[CRF]

Right now...he looks better than Sands, Floro, Headrick, and Moran.

[ToddlerHarmon]

You were too kind to go with Irish setter?

[tony&rodney]

Pretty weird to have a post (satire?) about a player's hair. Slow news day at the office.

[HrbieFan]

Might be one of the dumbest articles I have ever seen on this site. This is 2023, aren't we all done with judging people on their appearance? Change your best Twins Daily 

[ValleySpringsFan]

Thought sure you were headed toward Randy Johnson. I expect Kody would be happy with that comparison.

[LA Vikes Fan]

I think Bass player in a neo metal band that channels Metallica, but not one that channels Whitesnake or Van Halen due to the lack of a tattoo sleeve. Not glam enough for Kiss or Velvet Revolver. Has to play Bass because he isn't good looking enough to be the front man but looks serious enough to write some of the band's music.  

[BK432]

5 hours ago, HrbieFan said:

Might be one of the dumbest articles I have ever seen on this site. This is 2023, aren't we all done with judging people on their appearance? Change your best Twins Daily 

Relax my man. RandballsStu does satire and humor here. It's all tongue-in-cheek. You should go back and read some of his other stuff.

[old nurse]

A 1970s Oakland Athletics player. IIRC they were winners

[DocBauer]

That friendly guy in the neighborhood, who's name nobody knows, who always wears flip-flops and an old, worn ballcap from an auto parts store and says "what's up dude?" to everyone he passes on the sidewalk.
 

[DocBauer]

Also, Jay and Silent Bob if they could be cloned together.

[LuvMyTwins]

Kevin Gausman / Geddy Lee