What Does Kody Funderburk Look Like?

Recent Twins bullpen addition Kody Funderburk stands out for a couple reasons:

1. That name. Kody with a “K” especially. Just a joyful collision of consonants and vowels.

2. That hair.

There’s a third reason, actually. He looks like that guy. You know the one. It’s on the tip of my tongue. You know? Him?

In truth, Funderburk looks like a lot of things. Here’s what I’ve come up with:

• The mechanic who takes one look under the hood, shakes his head, and is about to tell you this is going to be expensive and the part is on back order.
• The guy from your hometown who set the record for most Busch Light Drafts consumed at the 2014 Homecoming after party. “Would have had a couple more if the cops hadn’t showed up,” he says to this day.
• A friendly scarecrow who comes to life during the annual Cornstalk Festival.
• A RealTree jacket that was accidentally stocked in the baseball section of the West Fargo Scheel’s.
• Bass player in a nu-metal band that got very popular in 1999 for a song about being mad at society. He’s embarrassed about the rap verse, too, but the royalties are enough to keep him from needing a real job.
• Overwhelmed dad in the pick-up line after school, driving a Bondo-ed minivan. The MY KID BEAT UP YOUR HONOR ROLL STUDENT bumper sticker came from the previous owner, he’d scrape it off if he wasn’t going straight to back to work after taking Khloe and Kaydence to their stepdad’s house. Sure would be nice if Gordon could pick them up once in a while, but I guess his job at the courthouse is more important. Sick of Gordon.
• The entire 2019 Houston Astros bullpen smashed together.
• A BMX racer who changes his name to Kody Thunderburk for competitions. His mom doesn’t like it.
• In a coming-of-age movie, he’s the guy who is part of the bully’s friend group, then sees the bully for who he really is, shakes his head, gives the nerd protagonist a bro hug and says, “I always got your back, Brian.”
• A skateboarder who knows where all the drained pools in your neighborhood are.