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Dave The Dastardly

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Everything posted by Dave The Dastardly

  1. First off I'm intelligent enough to know most doctors are smarter than I am. I can only recall meeting a couple doctors over the past 70-odd years that I wouldn't trust to treat my dog and one of them damn near killed me. So doctors aren't infallible. Secondly, most doctors I've met socially have complained about the cost of liability insurance, of being sued for getting a diagnosis "wrong", of offering the wrong opinion. As a result they tend to venture conservative opinions. Okay, say you're a doctor and you've been retained to venture a medical opinion on the physical status of a multi-millionaire baseball player who is always in the news. "Doc, can he play or not? If he does play, what are the chances he will be injured again? What's the "safest" answer?
  2. Here's hoping Alka-Smeltzer can cool the regurg from the Buxton heartburn.
  3. "Guardians" doesn't cut it for me. Can't visualize one. Some Roman Legion dude? A night watchman in a run-down warehouse? One of those devices for preventing conception? All three? Should've gone with an animal, you know, like the Tigers, or Cardinals. As far as I know "Coyote" hasn't been taken. The Cleveland Coyotes... has a certain ring to it. Get permission to use Wile E Coyote as their logo, maybe holding a stick of dynamite, eyes wide open in disbelief as the fuse gets down to the barest of nubs... https://images.app.goo.gl/SQcWeuVQFDn2dpeYA
  4. There are two reasons why I always look forward to Fridays: pizza night and Randballs Stu on TD. Not necessarily in that order.
  5. We don't have a basement either. Little Woman can't do stairs. So she keeps me on the level. Our tornado plan; head for an interior hallway, crouch down, cover your head with your hands and kiss your fanny goodbye.
  6. Took the Little Woman to Duluth back in the last century. Grandma's served the best fish sandwich we've ever had. Tap beer was great! Loved the ambiance! You could almost see sailors' ghosts drifting through the second floor looking for their favorite one-night stand. Brought a couple Grandma mugs home. Still use 'em. Went back maybe ten-fifteen years ago. Fish sandwich was history, they'd put a cheap steel addition on the old bordello, it was like eating in an echo chamber, beer was standard mega-brewery, no ghosts, no ambiance. Cliff Claven Little Known Fact: Duluth is listed in the top ten safest cities to migrate to as the climate worsens.
  7. The healthcare administrator was thrown off by the 90,000. Way too small for a hospital bill. The professor didn't have a bibliography to peruse and the writer couldn't follow the plot.
  8. Pick to click: Max and Miranda go yard back-to-back, Verlander leaves after three, Ryan carries a perfect game into the 8th, Rocco pulls him, sends him by ambulance to the hospital for a C-Scan, PET-Scan, Turkestan and Afghanistan before ordering arm replacement surgery, Astros tie it up in the 9th, game goes a gazillion innings, last pitcher, an eight-year old kid they pull out of the stands, throws a one-two-three inning, Sano limps in from the bench, still in a cast, lays down a 140 mph bunt with a 5% launch angle that somehow makes it over the left field wall, the Twins go down in history, I clean up in Vegas and get elected to the White House because of my amazing perspicacity. Just trying to be optimistic...
  9. Agree. Best Bond; Sean Connery. Tid bit: Ian Fleming, creator of James Bond, recommended David Niven for the Bond role, Niven having been an actual behind-the-lines British spy in WW II. Fleming had served in naval intelligence and new Niven. Sometimes it's not who you know... Goes for baseball players, too.
  10. I'm leaning towards James Bond. Devilishly clever those limeys.
  11. Dreams die hard, expectations easily. Sano's inconsistency has worn out a lot of Twins fans' expectations and now it seems the "Next Big Poppie" dream has also bit the dust. Time to move on. Best for Sano, best for the Twins.
  12. Exemplum. Had to look that up. I gave you a "like" for improving my vocabulary and giving me a new word I can drop on my in-laws. Who says you can't learn anything new on TD?
  13. Once upon a time in a land not so far away where civility, fairness and sportsmanship were still valued, I had the good fortune to coach a girls' high school basketball team. We had one of the best athletes I'd ever coached, boy or girl, in any sport, she of many conference and state awards to attest to her abilities, to lead the team. Unfortunately she came down with bronchitis just as the season started and she missed the first few weeks of the season. She eventually returned to play but with a noticeable decrease in stamina. We had another girl, second-stringer, not as talented, couldn't dribble more than four feet without losing the ball, not as fast, not as physical, but a little taller and eminently coachable. I informed this second girl that her role with the team would now be to spell our "stud". She'd play the last two minutes of the first half and the last two minutes of the 3rd quarter so our "stud" could catch her breath. I told her I expected her to score two points, grab two rebounds and collect two hard fouls; not cheap shots, but play physical enough against the girl that had been guarding our "stud" that she might draw a contact foul. So we drilled her on playing physical defense under the basket, worked her on positioning for rebounds and how to use the backboard for put-backs. Fittingly enough, this "second"-stringer, played two minutes every half, grabbed her two rebounds, scored her two points and kept our "stud" fresh while tiring out our "stud's" opponent. The team voted her MVP at the end of the season. I'm not saying Coulombe will be the Twins MVP, but he appears to know his role, knows what he's capable of, sticks to his "two-minute" assignment and makes it possible for his teammates to do their stuff. Exactly what a reliever is supposed to do. Teamwork; it makes up for a lot of short-comings. Statistics only reveals them.
  14. So if I may attempt to summarize comments so far; Gordon is best with a bat when he plays every day, but he's not an everyday player. I'm having trouble coming to grips with that.
  15. We all knew the wheels were going to start coming off sooner or later, but two wheels at the same time? Come on!!!!! Twins fans are masochists.
  16. "Gio is a way better third baseman defensively than Arraez or Miranda" Agree about Arraez but how do we know that about Miranda?
  17. Joe Ryan 3-1 ERA 1.17 Whip .70 Bundy 3-0 ERA .59 Whip .72 Ober 1-1 ERA 2.81 Whip 1.0 My cup runneth over.
  18. How come Sano's "hit" wasn't recorded as an error? The ball hit Grossman's glove. Used to be an automatic error in the old days.
  19. Ah! Humble man forgot to check throwing arm of opposing pitcher. Charlie Chan say man who jump to conclusions often trip on rope.
  20. Sano in, Arraez out? That's what... a .365 drop in batting average? Do we want to win this game?
  21. I've sweated like a pig and flopped like a dog but I don't think I ever flop sweated. Is it hard to learn?
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