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Game Thread Twins vs Rangers 5/3/21 6:40 PM CDT

Dave The Dastardly

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Dave The Dastardly Cedar Rapids Kernels

Dave The Dastardly

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Hi Ho Silver! Away!

 

post-8959-0-67581100-1620065197_thumb.png

 

 

 

 

I grew up listening to the Lone Ranger on the radio. Yeah, that’s right; the radio. TVs didn’t start making their way into homes until the ’50’s and I was six and about ready to graduate from kindergarten when we got our first TV; a black-and-white Sylvania. We maybe got two channels and you had to watch ‘em through a snowstorm. So it was a slow transition from listening to radio to watching TV in our household.

 

Anyway, radios back then came in big wooden cabinets with lots of dials, tubes and antenna leads. Things weighed about forty pounds. Not something you were going to carry over your shoulder blasting out eardrums over a square block radius. (Can you use “square” and “radius” in the same description?) For one thing, these monster radios had to be plugged in. For another, they had to be hooked up to an external antenna. Cool thing about that; we had a short wave band on our old “woodie” and I could listen to ships at sea.

 

Getting back to the Lone Ranger, Brace Beemer was the voice of the radio Lone Ranger back in the late ’40’s early 1950’s. Beemer, was a “true” ranger if we use the typical military definition of “ranger”; a highly trained soldier, as in Army Ranger. Beemer lied about his age in order to enlist in the Army at age 14 so he could fight in World War I. He was wounded in action and reportedly was the youngest sergeant in the entire AEF (America Expeditionary Forces). Since there was no officially designated Ranger unit at the time, that made Beemer the “Lone Ranger”.

 

The Texas Rangers baseball team is named after the real Texas Rangers, which were originally formed back in the frontier days to ward off attacks from marauding Comanche warriors and Mexican bandits. Today they’re Texas’ state police. So the Rangers have been protecting Texas since Helen was Reddy.

 

Perhaps the most famous “real” Texas Rangers were John Coffee Hays and Samuel Walker. Hays made the Patterson Colt, a five-shot revolver, famous while leading a small group of Rangers against a large band of Comanches. Greatly outnumbered, the Rangers prevailed because they could throw out more lead with the five-shot Colt. Walker, who rode with Hays, later became friends with Samuel Colt and suggested a number of improvements for the Patterson. One key suggestion gave the Patterson a trigger-guard and converted the pistol into a six-shooter. Colt, impressed with Walker and his advice, redesigned his revolver and named the new pistol the Walker Colt.

 

And that's how the West was won.

 

The baseball Rangers, appropriately enough, won the West in 1996, 1998, 1999, 2010, 2011, 2015 and 2016 but haven't been doing much winning as of late. They’re currently dead last in the West and four games out of first. The Twins are at least second from the bottom of their division. Of course there's that six games back thing...

 

Side note: Current Twin Nelson Cruz played for the Rangers from 2006-2013 and was an actual honest-to-baseball gods outfielder back then. But after he misplaced his favorite baseball glove Cruz decided to become a homerun hitter instead of a fielder. A Little Known Cliff Claven Factoid: Cruz hit his first ever major league homerun batting against the Twins, Willie Eyre pitching. I’m sure you all remember Willie; household name in… the Eyre household.

 

I’m more sure everyone remembers the Ranger’s current “ace”; Kyle Gibson, aka, Gibbler the Nibbler. Gibson is currently 3-0 and sports a 2.16 ERA. I’m assuming he’s given up nibbling. We’ll find out tomorrow. My advice to Twins hitters; take a lot of pitches.

 

Oh, the Ranger’s right fielder is some guy named Joey Gallo. Last time I heard that name he was a successful lawyer in My Cousin Vinny. I wonder if they’ll put him in the game, then take him out in the 7th. You know, a simple in and out procedure.

 

 

Personally, I remember the Rangers, not fondly, because of A-Rod’s outrageous record-setting contract; $252 million for ten years. Baseball hasn’t been the same since. I guess you could say it’s been juiced. You know, sort of like A-Rod.

Maestros on the Mound

 

Twins: Kenta Maeda   1-2     ERA 6.56     20 K’s

Rangers: Dane Dunning   1-1    ERA 3.97   24 K’s

 

No Line-ups posted at this time and I've got a fallen tree to deal with so feel free to make up your own.

 

 

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Dave The Dastardly Cedar Rapids Kernels

Dave The Dastardly

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Minnesota

 

Kenta Maeda R

LF Luis Arraez L
3B J. Donaldson R
CF Byron Buxton R
DH Nelson Cruz R
1B A. Kirilloff L
2B J. Polanco S
RF Max Kepler L
SS A. Simmons R
C Ben Rortvedt L

Thanks. Nice looking lineup.

 

Just finished up whacking that tree into woodstove-size chunks and hauling it to the pile-to-be-split-later.  I think I deserve a shot a Jameson. Maybe two - for medicinal purposes. Getting wood is hard for septuagenarians. Play with that if you wish.

puckstopper1 First Round Pick

puckstopper1

Verified Member
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Note to Rocco and the arms - do NOT give Nate Lowe anything to hit with RISP.

 

He is batting a lofty .462 (12 for 26) with RISP, and is the Rangers RBI leader by far.

ashbury GOAT

ashbury

Verified Member
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Posted

(Can you use “square” and “radius” in the same description?)

Squaring the circle? Circling the square? You are dangerously close to a question the ancients pursued to irrational ends, a conclusion being reached in more modern times only by meditations that proved to be transcendental.

 

sampleSizeOfOne Cooperstown

sampleSizeOfOne

Verified Member
Posted
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Thanks. Nice looking lineup.

 

Just finished up whacking that tree into woodstove-size chunks and hauling it to the pile-to-be-split-later.  I think I deserve a shot a Jameson. Maybe two - for medicinal purposes. Getting wood is hard for septuagenarians. Play with that if you wish.

Sadly, i am not yet a septuagenarian... I may not be totally lost about a septic system, but i claim no special wisdom there.

 

Likewise, i am no lumberjack. And i'm okay with that.

 

But if you wish for comments... i can say... um... tents are important while camping, and while modern backpacking tents have very flexible bungied up tent rods, the old posts of good canvas wall-tent are reassuring.

 

I don't think beavers would be very good at building dams and making their homes without wood. On the other hand, in the serengeti there is much less wood available, so lions' hydrologic efforts involve chasing smaller animals across the fields into a target stream, where they fell down too tired to get out, and eventually block the water flow. This practice is known as damming with faint preys. It really isn't a pretty sight...

 

Is that the sort of observations on in the importance of wood you were seeking, Dastardly?

 

All that said, i sure hope the Twins still have their hot bats from yesterday!

sampleSizeOfOne Cooperstown

sampleSizeOfOne

Verified Member
Posted
Posted

 

Squaring the circle? You are dangerously close to a question the ancients pursued to irrational ends, reaching a conclusion in more modern times only by meditations that proved to be transcendental.
 

Not to mention those kids toys for matching shapes.

 

My humble opinion is this intro should have an Evil Canevil style warning: Dastardly is a train proffssional. Do not attempt this at home.

sampleSizeOfOne Cooperstown

sampleSizeOfOne

Verified Member
Posted
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I do miss a good radio drama. As i grew up, mpr had Star Wars, and Hitchhiker's guide on Saturday mornings at 8:30. And in the winter evenings, we could just barely get wbbm from chicago with old time radio at 8pm each evening.

 

Sigh, i suppose even then i was behind the times on my media consumption.

Cap'n Piranha Ft Myers Mighty Mussels

Cap'n Piranha

Verified Member
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Not to mention those kids toys for matching shapes.

 

My humble opinion is this intro should have an Evil Canevil style warning: Dastardly is a train proffssional. Do not attempt this at home.

 

Model or life-size?

drunksam College Ball

drunksam

Verified Member
Posted
Posted

 

Hip injury ... hasn't been officially announced but wonder if it’s a hip labrum tear

 

 

Grade 3 hip flexor strain, a complete tear.

Squirrel GOAT

Squirrel

Community Moderator
Posted
Posted

 

 

Who? What? Just finished grilling steak for my wife's birthday and missed all the latest.

Luis Robert of the White Sox

sampleSizeOfOne Cooperstown

sampleSizeOfOne

Verified Member
Posted
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It also needs a "diagram not to scale" warning too.

 

I am not sure. But yeah, zounds do i need an editor!

And alas i let too much time go by to fix it...

 

trained professional: Evel Knievel.

twinssporto St Paul Saints

twinssporto

Verified Member
Posted
Posted

 

Hi Ho Silver! Away!

 

attachicon.gifScreen Shot 2021-05-03 at 12.56.10 PM.png

 

 

 

 

I grew up listening to the Lone Ranger on the radio. Yeah, that’s right; the radio. TVs didn’t start making their way into homes until the ’50’s and I was six and about ready to graduate from kindergarten when we got our first TV; a black-and-white Sylvania. We maybe got two channels and you had to watch ‘em through a snowstorm. So it was a slow transition from listening to radio to watching TV in our household.

 

Anyway, radios back then came in big wooden cabinets with lots of dials, tubes and antenna leads. Things weighed about forty pounds. Not something you were going to carry over your shoulder blasting out eardrums over a square block radius. (Can you use “square” and “radius” in the same description?) For one thing, these monster radios had to be plugged in. For another, they had to be hooked up to an external antenna. Cool thing about that; we had a short wave band on our old “woodie” and I could listen to ships at sea.

 

Getting back to the Lone Ranger, Brace Beemer was the voice of the radio Lone Ranger back in the late ’40’s early 1950’s. Beemer, was a “true” ranger if we use the typical military definition of “ranger”; a highly trained soldier, as in Army Ranger. Beemer lied about his age in order to enlist in the Army at age 14 so he could fight in World War I. He was wounded in action and reportedly was the youngest sergeant in the entire AEF (America Expeditionary Forces). Since there was no officially designated Ranger unit at the time, that made Beemer the “Lone Ranger”.

 

The Texas Rangers baseball team is named after the real Texas Rangers, which were originally formed back in the frontier days to ward off attacks from marauding Comanche warriors and Mexican bandits. Today they’re Texas’ state police. So the Rangers have been protecting Texas since Helen was Reddy.

 

Perhaps the most famous “real” Texas Rangers were John Coffee Hays and Samuel Walker. Hays made the Patterson Colt, a five-shot revolver, famous while leading a small group of Rangers against a large band of Comanches. Greatly outnumbered, the Rangers prevailed because they could throw out more lead with the five-shot Colt. Walker, who rode with Hays, later became friends with Samuel Colt and suggested a number of improvements for the Patterson. One key suggestion gave the Patterson a trigger-guard and converted the pistol into a six-shooter. Colt, impressed with Walker and his advice, redesigned his revolver and named the new pistol the Walker Colt.

 

And that's how the West was won.

 

The baseball Rangers, appropriately enough, won the West in 1996, 1998, 1999, 2010, 2011, 2015 and 2016 but haven't been doing much winning as of late. They’re currently dead last in the West and four games out of first. The Twins are at least second from the bottom of their division. Of course there's that six games back thing...

 

Side note: Current Twin Nelson Cruz played for the Rangers from 2006-2013 and was an actual honest-to-baseball gods outfielder back then. But after he misplaced his favorite baseball glove Cruz decided to become a homerun hitter instead of a fielder. A Little Known Cliff Claven Factoid: Cruz hit his first ever major league homerun batting against the Twins, Willie Eyre pitching. I’m sure you all remember Willie; household name in… the Eyre household.

 

I’m more sure everyone remembers the Ranger’s current “ace”; Kyle Gibson, aka, Gibbler the Nibbler. Gibson is currently 3-0 and sports a 2.16 ERA. I’m assuming he’s given up nibbling. We’ll find out tomorrow. My advice to Twins hitters; take a lot of pitches.

 

Oh, the Ranger’s right fielder is some guy named Joey Gallo. Last time I heard that name he was a successful lawyer in My Cousin Vinny. I wonder if they’ll put him in the game, then take him out in the 7th. You know, a simple in and out procedure.

 

 

Personally, I remember the Rangers, not fondly, because of A-Rod’s outrageous record-setting contract; $252 million for ten years. Baseball hasn’t been the same since. I guess you could say it’s been juiced. You know, sort of like A-Rod.

Maestros on the Mound

 

Twins: Kenta Maeda   1-2     ERA 6.56     20 K’s

Rangers: Dane Dunning   1-1    ERA 3.97   24 K’s

 

No Line-ups posted at this time and I've got a fallen tree to deal with so feel free to make up your own.

Great Intro!  Solid 10 Dave!

Danchat Minnesota Twins

Danchat

Old-Timey Member
Posted
Posted

Dunning seems to be doing very well for a rookie, was it really a good move for the White Sox to trade him for just one year of Lance Lynn? 

 

And I see he pitched well in 7 starts last year... seems like a misguided "win now" move for Chicago.

Danchat Minnesota Twins

Danchat

Old-Timey Member
Posted
Posted

 

Dobnak to AAA, Pineda questionable with a hurt wrist---so who takes those spots?  The SP depth is getting shallow, quick.

Haven't heard that about Pineda... but I imagine Thorpe is the next man up. 

RickOShea FCL Twins

RickOShea

Verified Member
Posted
Posted

one more note on "The Lone Ranger".  Clayton Moore played the Lone Ranger on tv.  For a time he lived in the Twin Cities.  One day my brother was sent to his home to clean his drapes. Moore was moving to the West Coast.  Moore was cleaning out odds and ends from his home.  He asked my brother if he wanted an old suit case.  It was oversized leather suitcase, monogrammed CM.  My brother got a kick out of that and kept it for many years.  It was a suitcase he kept his Lone ranger costume, boots, and gun/holster.

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