Article: Game Thread: Twins @ Tigers, 7/18 @ 6:10pm CT

[Riverbrian]

The Twins are in Detroit to open up 3 game series against the A.L. Central 2nd place Tigers.

The Twins didn’t do the Tigers any favors losing 2 games out of 3 against the 1st place Indians over the weekend. The Tigers could use a few favors. Every sub species of Tiger is listed as endangered and that’s because the other 29 teams are encroaching on their habitat. The Bay of Bengal, Siberia, Indochina, Sumatra, Southern Ohio, a handful of college campuses and Michigan are the only locations on earth where you can still find them in the wild.

Here are some things to think about:

 

1. Tony the Tiger – They’re Grrreat!!! Maybe so… but if you knew the history… that line will send a chill down your spine. Tony the Tiger is actually quite frightening. The Kellogg Company headquarters is located about 120 miles to the west of Detroit in Battle Creek, Michigan. Battle Creek was the ideal location for production of all the cereal brands they produce because of the rich springs of high fructose corn syrup that flows through the town creek. The fructose was so valuable that people would come from many miles to wash their pants in it. It was a muscular, deep voiced, English speaking, scarf wearing Tiger named Tony and his violent gang of Toucan Sam, Snap, Crackle and Pop, under the employ of Kellogg’s, that secured the creek’s resources for cereal production exclusively; and they did so through a series of bloody battles at the creek.

2. Tigger – North of Detroit lies the Hundred Acre Wood and an extreme subspecies of Tiger called a Tigger. Tiggers are slightly different from tigers… for example… the double G proves that they can’t spell… they have redickerous speech impediments… they tend to bounce around instead of stalking low to the ground... they go a very long time between meals... and they are clever enough to lull prey into a false sense of security by pretending friendship until they can catch them easily off guard. Tigger’s favorite foods are Rabbits, Piglets, Owls, Donkeys, Kangas, Roos and Pooh Bears.

3. Maneater – Oh-Oh Here she comes… Watch out Boy… She’ll chew you up. Brett Hull and Adam Oates wrote this song at Joe Louis Arena between periods of a hockey game between the Blues and Red Wings. They were inspired to write it after witnessing a female tiger burst into the visiting locker room and eat Boy O' Conner (Blues equipment manager). The Tiger was smuggled into the arena by a fan intending to replace the goofy octopus thing they do.

4. Siegfried and Roy – In October of 2003 during a show at the Mirage, Roy Horn was bitten in the neck by a 7 year old Tiger named Montecore in front of a live audience. Both Siegfried and Roy defended the Tiger’s behavior by saying that the cat was trying to protect him. After an extensive investigation… it was determined that the Tiger actually attacked Roy because it didn’t like the name Montecore and it was sick and tired of being painted White before every show.

5. Tiger Woods – His fame began in 1978 at the age of two when he putted on the Mike Douglas Show. At Age 3 he shot a 48 over nine holes. At age 8, he broke 80 over 18 holes for the first time. He won the Masters at age 20 and by the time he was 33… he had won 14 Majors. In 2009… Forbes Magazine declared that Tiger was the first athlete to earn over one billion dollars. Tiger was on top of the world but his much publicized fall from grace proved to be very costly. Not only did he lose his wife because of numerous affairs, a 2009 study estimated the shareholder loss from the affairs to be between 5 and 12 billion. Scrutiny was reaching a fever pitch so Tiger retreated from public life and attended a 45 day therapy program in the Virgin Islands. Afterwards they were renamed… “The Islands.”
____________________

Lineups:

TWINS
Eduardo Nunez (R] SS
Joe Mauer (L) 1B
Miguel Sano (R] 3B
Brian Dozier (R] 2B
Max Kepler (L) RF
Robbie Grossman (S) DH
Eddie Rosario (L) LF
Kurt Suzuki (R] C
Byron Buxton (R] CF

Ricky Nolasco (R] P

TIGERS
Ian Kinsler (R] 2B
Cameron Maybin (R] CF
Miguel Cabrera (R] 1B
Victor Martinez (S) DH
Nick Castellanos (R] 3B
Justin Upton (R] LF
Mike Aviles (R] RF
Jarrod Saltalamacchia (S) C
Jose Iglesias (R] SS

Matt Boyd (L) P

Game-time forecast: 87 deg F, mostly clear, no chance of rain, winds at 10mph from the WNW.

Play ball! Go Twins!

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[jimmer]

You are hilarious!

[Mike Sixel]

Tigger is my second favorite tiger, after Hobbes....where is Hobbes?

 

some pictures:

 

edit: not to diminish the awesomeness of the intro, I'm just adding to the list....

 

Edited July 18, 2016 by Mike Sixel

[Vanimal46]

Calvin and Hobbes is my favorite comic strip of all-time, so I agree with Mike that Hobbes >>>> Tigger. 

I was known as Tigger when I was a toddler, because I loved the bouncy chair, and bouncing on furniture. As a result of this bouncing, I needed stitches 3 different times on my face before I turned 2 years old.... 

[Halsey Hall]

Grrreat intro!!  Just what I needed on a Monday morning.  Now for some rice krispies.

[wsnydes]

 

Calvin and Hobbes is my favorite comic strip of all-time, so I agree with Mike that Hobbes >>>> Tigger. 

It's a very close call for me there.  Calvin and Hobbes and the Far Side keep me amused to this day.  They're like 1a and 1b.  I miss not getting new cartoons from both of them.  I'll always take Hobbes over Tigger though.  Not a shot at Tigger, just enjoyed Hobbes more.

 

[Danchat]

 

It's a very close call for me there.  Calvin and Hobbes and the Far Side keep me amused to this day.  They're like 1a and 1b.  I miss not getting new cartoons from both of them.  I'll always take Hobbes over Tigger though.  Not a shot at Tigger, just enjoyed Hobbes more.

Calvin & Hobbes and The Far Side are my favorite two comics. This is coming from a guy who wasn't alive during their runs as a newspaper comic.

[Squirrel]

 

Calvin & Hobbes and The Far Side are my favorite two comics. This is coming from a guy who wasn't alive during their runs as a newspaper comic.

Okay ... I really wanted to give you a warning point for this because that just dated me too much.

[diehardtwinsfan]

Brian has figured out how to turn ADHD into a special talent.  One awesome game thread intro.

[spinowner]

 

 

 

1. Tony the Tiger – They’re Grrreat!!! Maybe so… but if you knew the history… that line will send a chill down your spine. Tony the Tiger is actually quite frightening. The Kellogg Company headquarters is located about 120 miles to the west of Detroit in Battle Creek, Michigan. Battle Creek was the ideal location for production of all the cereal brands they produce because of the rich springs of high fructose corn syrup that flows through the town creek. The fructose was so valuable that people would come from many miles to wash their pants in it. It was a muscular, deep voiced, English speaking, scarf wearing Tiger named Tony and his violent gang of Toucan Sam, Snap, Crackle and Pop, under the employ of Kellogg’s, that secured the creek’s resources for cereal production exclusively; and they did so through a series of bloody battles at the creek.

 

Tony the Tiger was voiced by the incomparable Thurl Ravenscroft. Mr. Ravenscroft was also well known to those of us of ChiTown's vintage (I said us, don't give me grief) because he sang the Grinch song.

[Squirrel]

 

Tony the Tiger was voiced by the incomparable Thurl Ravenscroft. Mr. Ravenscroft was also well known to those of us of ChiTown's vintage (I said us, don't give me grief) because he sang the Grinch song.

Yeah ... but I'm a LOT younger than you, so I am going to give you grief!

[sampleSizeOfOne]

Yeah ... but I'm a LOT younger than you, so I am going to give you grief!

Just so long as it is good grief.

[Mike Sixel]

 

Just so long as it is good grief.

 

Ouch......

[sampleSizeOfOne]

Tigger is my second favorite tiger, after Hobbes....where is Hobbes?

 

some pictures:

 

edit: not to diminish the awesomeness of the intro, I'm just adding to the list....

Can Hobbes be endangered?

 

Golly gee wiz, i hope not!

 

Also baseball is a fine sport and all, but who would follow it if we had calvin ball?

 

I am sure Mr. Riverbrian also gave a miss to Blake's poem about flaming tigers...

[diehardtwinsfan]

 

Can Hobbes be endangered?

Golly gee wiz, i hope not!

Also baseball is a fine sport and all, but who would follow it if we had calvin ball?

I am sure Mr. Riverbrian also gave a miss to Blake's poem about flaming tigers...

 

I loved reading the Calvin ball episodes....  they had like what, 20 bases? 

[Mike Sixel]

Calvin ball might be more interesting, frankly......

[diehardtwinsfan]

 

Calvin ball might be more interesting, frankly......

 

It has it's own wiki...

 

http://calvinball.wikidot.com/

 

of course a search for Calvin Ball also drums up some dude's resume....

[Don Walcott]

Sounds like the consensus between Tigger and Hobbes is a Hobbesian choice.

[blindeke]

An excellent game thread writeup!

[SwainZag]

 

Tigger is my second favorite tiger, after Hobbes....where is Hobbes?

 

some pictures:

 

edit: not to diminish the awesomeness of the intro, I'm just adding to the list....

 

I prefer Roy Hobbs.

 

http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y260/fritschcards/royhobbs.jpg

 

 

[Blake]

 

I loved reading the Calvin ball episodes....  they had like what, 20 bases? 

If you get a chance, look up Rosalyn playing Calvinball with Calvin. It's a hoot.

[Riverbrian]

 

Calvin and Hobbes is my favorite comic strip of all-time, so I agree with Mike that Hobbes >>>> Tigger. 

I was known as Tigger when I was a toddler, because I loved the bouncy chair, and bouncing on furniture. As a result of this bouncing, I needed stitches 3 different times on my face before I turned 2 years old.... 

 

From Tigger to Vanimal.

 

Darwin may have underestimated you. 

[ashbury]

Hey guys. Just got back from my afternoon trek in the Himalayas, so I've been out of Internet reach for a while. What's new?

[notoriousgod71]

JFC, Dick, no one died. Compose yourself.

[GCTF]

 

JFC, Dick, no one died. Compose yourself.

Agreed. With Molitor sticking around there should be plenty of first inning sac bunts for Dick to gush about.

[Winston Smith]

 

Hey guys. Just got back from my afternoon trek in the Himalayas, so I've been out of Internet reach for a while. What's new?

Not much slow news day!

[Hosken Bombo Disco]

Agreed. With Molitor sticking around there should be plenty of first inning sac bunts for Dick to gush about.

I was thinking first inning challenges to gush about, but same diff.

[Vanimal46]

From Tigger to Vanimal.

 

Darwin may have underestimated you.

 

No kidding! Too bad I'm not at my parents' house right now. In the spirit of this thread I would have searched and posted the picture of my first Halloween. Where I was, you guessed it, Tigger.

[jimmer]

So Nunez decided why bother going all out to 1B? In contrast, Mauer really hustled and almost beat it out.

Edited July 18, 2016 by jimmer

[Riverbrian]

 

No kidding! Too bad I'm not at my parents' house right now. In the spirit of this thread I would have searched and posted the picture of my first Halloween. Where I was, you guessed it, Tigger.

 

Head made of rubber and bottom made of springs?