Game Thread: Twins@Pittsburgh 4/4/18 5:05 CDT

[Dave The Dastardly]

In Search of a Yardarm

 

 

 

Every St. Patrick’s Day my wife of 32 years (give or take a year or two, I lost track - but don’t tell my wife) and I sit down with a bowl of popcorn to watch John Wayne and Maureen O’Hara in “The Quiet Man”. If you’ve never seen it, give it a whirl. It was filmed in Ireland and has the distinction of being known as the only movie in which John Wayne played somebody other than himself.

 

Anyway, watching the Quiet Man is one of my family’s traditions. My mother, God bless her soul, was Irish. Well, not Irish-Irish, but 2nd generation American Irish. That makes me half German, half-Irish. And some might say half-a$$ed.

 

Actually being German-Irish just means I’m schizophrenic. I never know if I should be having fun and feeling guilty because I’m not working hard, or working hard and feeling guilty because I’m not having fun.

 

So why do I bring this up here? Is this just another half-a$$ed attempt at writing a game thread?

 

Well... Okay, you got me. But let’s see if I can tie enough of this together to get me off the hook (hang onto that last word for now) and go full monty.

 

In the Quiet Man a well-meaning but uneducated little man (Barry Fitzgerald) informs his fellow Irishmen that the Duke is from “Pittsburgh, Massachusetts USA”.

 

And in an amazing coincidence today’s game is in Pittsburgh!

 

But we all know Pittsburgh isn’t in Massachusetts. Well, at least of those of us who didn’t flunk geography in grade school. But even though I know where Pittsburgh is, I’ve never been there. And the same could be said for many of the Twins players; they’ve never been to Pittsburgh either. Not that we’re boycotting the place or anything. It’s just that the Pirates, despite having one of the coolest team names in baseball, are in the wrong league.

 

Arrrrgh!

 

The curious among us might wonder how a baseball team in a landlocked city managed to steel (that’s a pun - think about it) a name like Pirates for its team. I mean pirates are usually associated with sailing ships and oceans. Not steel mills and rivers. So why the stretch? It seems the team was originally called the Alleghenys. Fearsome as that name may be, after the Alleghenys were accused of “pirating” star players from other teams by offering them more money under the table (sort of an illegal early free agency thing) the team officially changed their name to Pirates, rubbing a little salt in the wounds of the offended clubs.

 

This player snatching thing is something Twins management should keep in mind, especially if a few of our players turn up missing after this series. Remember Liriano?

 

Arrrrgh!

 

Not that the Pirates and Twins have never before fired broadsides at each other. The Pirates blew away the Twins’ main mast, mizzen mast and half mast (say that last one real fast) back in 1925 when the Twins weren’t yet identical and still called themselves the Washington Senators. According to Cliff’s (that’s a Cliff with a Claven attached) Notes, it’s a little known fact that the Pirates made the Senators walk the plank in the 1925 World Series in what was arrrrghuably a tough seven game series.

 

Another note from Cliff; back in pirate days the front of a sailing ship was known as the forecastle and the rear of the ship was called the aftcastle. That meant if you were standing in the middle of the ship you were half-aftcastle; thus the etymology of the more modern “half-a$$ed”.

 

Putting partial derrieres, pirates and Pittsburgh’s team history behind us, you know, because we are family, and to parrot (bingo!) the official Twins propaganda, I’m sure the Twinks will prevail because, you know, they have cannons for arms, and the team will safely dock in our own landlocked city without being shanghaied and with pieces-of-eight in their pockets.

 

Let’s just hope the Twins don’t get the hook in this series.

 

I hope that wasn’t too long, John Silver.

 

Steering from the aftcastle today:

 

For the Twins: Windjammer Jake Odorizzi 0-0  0.00 ERA .67 WHIP
For the Pirates: Ivan the Terrible Nova 0-0 3.60 ERA 1.80 WHIP

 

Boarding Crew: Unknown at this time as I have to go outside and BLOW SOME DAMN SNOW!

[USAFChief]

Nice job, DTD!  Much appreciated.

 

 

[Jerr]

Great opening of the game thread aye aye, matey !!!!

[Craig Arko]

The Quiet Man is a great classic. It's my St. Patrick's Day go-to film.

[Squirrel]

 

The curious among us might wonder how a baseball team in a landlocked city managed to steel (that’s a pun - think about it) a name like Pirates for its team.

Thanks for pointing that out to me. I might of said something about your misuse of homonyms.

 

(This post had Craig Arko and Mike Sixel in mind. You know why.)

[Craig Arko]

 

Thanks for pointing that out to me. I might of said something about your misuse of homonyms.

 

(This post had Craig Arko and Mike Sixel in mind. You know why.)

I here homonyms can be powerfully addictive.

[Jerr]

 

I here homonyms can be powerfully addictive.

I herd their are places, wear one can find help four it. Don't axe me wear they wood bee. 

[Mike Sixel]

I herd their are places, wear one can find help four it. Don't axe me wear they wood bee.

Painful. But funny.

[yarnivek1972]

I herd their are places, wear one can find help four it. Don't axe me wear they wood bee.

Ewe mist sum: eye, won, fined

[ashbury]

The curious among us might wonder how a baseball team in a landlocked city managed to steel (that’s a pun - think about it) a name like Pirates for its team. I mean pirates are usually associated with sailing ships and oceans. Not steel mills and rivers. So why the stretch? It seems the team was originally called the Alleghenys. Fearsome as that name may be, after the Alleghenys were accused of “pirating” star players from other teams by offering them more money under the table (sort of an illegal early free agency thing) the team officially changed their name to Pirates, rubbing a little salt in the wounds of the offended clubs.

Here's a sidelight that may also be interesting to those intrigued by baseball history. Nicknames for teams back then were much more loose than now. Teams didn't necessarily embrace them. In the newspaper you might see a visiting team referred to simply as "the Bostons" or "the Baltimores" or "the Pittsburghs". Oftentimes, writers for the hometown papers would apply nicknames that occurred to them based on current events (as DaveTheD describes here for the Pirates) or current players (e.g. the Cleveland Naps, and let's not even get into the Indians). Those coinages might instantly come into common usage for a time, if the readership found them entertaining, and they might disappear just as rapidly. The ones we remember now are the most successful. Cities like Brooklyn and Cleveland would sometimes chew through a dozen widely-used nicknames over the course of a few of decades independently of any change in franchise or ownership. By contrast the cities with multiple teams needed a way to distinguish them - so it was quite variable - some major league teams would be known at times as the Americans or the Nationals, either for this reason or to distinguish against some local minor league squad with pretensions. By contrast, teams like the Giants and Athletics were always known by their nickname. Eventually, each of the teams decided a nickname was marketable, and officially trademarked theirs. Anyway, those 1890 Alleghenys and 1891 Pirates probably were much more fluidly thought of than the typical baseball encyclopedia would lead you to believe. I doubt anyone then expected that the name Pirates would still be in use 100 years later and counting.

[bighat]

Anyone else notice the Pirates are 4-0? The only undefeated team in MLB right now. Let's knock 'em off their high horse!

[Jerr]

 

Ewe mist sum: eye, won, fined

It hurt just doing those        

[USAFChief]

 

I here homonyms can be powerfully addictive.

http://mrwgifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/Not-That-Theres-Anything-Wrong-With-That-Reaction-Gif-On-Seinfeld.gif

 

 

[Doubles]

This hears a grate addition of the GT.  

[Vanimal46]

http://mrwgifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/Not-That-Theres-Anything-Wrong-With-That-Reaction-Gif-On-Seinfeld.gif

Your gif reminded me of a recent debate between my friend group...

 

What is the better TV show: Seinfeld or Friends?

[nicksaviking]

 

Anyone else notice the Pirates are 4-0? The only undefeated team in MLB right now. Let's knock 'em off their high horse!

 

You mean crow's nest.

[nicksaviking]

 

Your gif reminded me of a recent debate between my friend group...

What is the better TV show: Seinfeld or Friends?

 

OMG, get new friends.

[Pardon My Dinger]

Your gif reminded me of a recent debate between my friend group...

 

What is the better TV show: Seinfeld or Friends?

The answer is Seinfeld or you need new friends.

[USAFChief]

 

Your gif reminded me of a recent debate between my friend group...

What is the better TV show: Seinfeld or Friends?

Yes.

[Dave The Dastardly]

As I was out blowing 8" snow off the driveway, away from the garage door, the barn door (no, not that barn door, it wasn't that deep), the shop, the house and the wife's bird feeders I started to wonder; how many outdoor baseball fans does it take to clear snow out of Target Field?

 

Sounds like the beginning of a Seinfeld joke.

 

Anyone have any thoughts as to the punchline? I thought I had one there for a moment but then it drifted...

[blindeke]

At least it's alliterative. 

[Craig Arko]

 

Your gif reminded me of a recent debate between my friend group...

What is the better TV show: Seinfeld or Friends?

Never watched a single episode of either of them. Which did you choose?

[ewen21]

 

Thanks for pointing that out to me. I might of said something about your misuse of homonyms.

 

(This post had Craig Arko and Mike Sixel in mind. You know why.)

Add homonym?  Not necessary.

[bird]

 

OMG, get new friends.

 

 

Older friends too, vanimal. You young knuckleheads ever heard of Lucille Ball or Jackie Gleason?

[Craig Arko]

 

Older friends too, vanimal. You young knuckleheads ever heard of Lucille Ball or Jackie Gleason?

Or George and Gracie?

[jimmer]

Your gif reminded me of a recent debate between my friend group...

 

What is the better TV show: Seinfeld or Friends?

I am hoping the debate wasn't centered around the idea that either was the best sitcom of all time, but rather just which was better between the two. I didn't like Seinfield myself, so it would be Friends for me. But Friends isn't close to the best Sitcom ever.

[ewen21]

 

Older friends too, vanimal. You young knuckleheads ever heard of Lucille Ball or Jackie Gleason?

The Honeymooners and I Love Lucy were all over the TV all the way into the mid 80s.  I think the Simpson's buried American culture and we never recovered

[Blake]

 

Your gif reminded me of a recent debate between my friend group...

What is the better TV show: Seinfeld or Friends?

Friends doesn't even come close to Seinfeld.

 

Friends wasn't much more than a funny soap opera.

[Blake]

 

Older friends too, vanimal. You young knuckleheads ever heard of Lucille Ball or Jackie Gleason?

The best tv lineup, bar none, happened roughly 45 years ago.

 

All in the Family

The Carol Burnett Show

Mary Tyler Moore

The Bob Newhart Show

[Han Joelo]

I think this goes here.