Article: Game Thread: Twins@Mariners, June 6 @ 9:10pm CT

[Riverbrian]

Get swept by the Astros and you get some TD fans saying it’s over while they start sticking forks in things. Win 3 out of 4 against the Angels and you get some TD Fans wondering what the odds of winning the AL Central are. Up with the ups and down with the downs… just like an elevator in a building with the majority of the action in the middle floors. We have three games against the Mariners starting tonight… will the Twins push the up button or the down? It is beginning to look like a reliable OTIS so it may not plummet to the ground, but if it does... remember to jump right before the impact.

 

Here are some things to think about:

 

1. Seattle – A fairly large city that was put between two large bodies of water in the Pacific Northwest, Seattle is a freaky town full of freaks that seem normal because of the even freakier people who live in nearby Portland. Seattle is one of the more interesting city names in the U.S. and it comes from the Suquamish word for mildew. The Metro has over 3 million residents including Sasquatch, Jean Smart, Jerry Cantrell, Bill Gates, Sir Mix-a-Lot, Paul Allen, Adam West, Kenny G, Amanda Knox, Frasier, Niles and Marty Crain along with Daphne, Roz, Maris and the dog Eddie. I have just named 16 people that live in Seattle… I’ve decided to stop there with 2,999,984 to go. Seattle brought us Costco, Microsoft, Amazon, Starbucks, Nordstrom and Boeing. Along with grunge, spam email, whooping cough, binge drinking, poor hygiene, flat tires, brownnosers and poor customer service.

 

2. Our Twins – They are still in first place and we will have to explain to your grandchildren why we have been acting like Randy Quaid in the movie “Major League”.

 

3. The Mariners – This team was completely rebuilt by ex-Angels GM Jerry Dipoto. Since taking over in September 2015, Dipoto has made a total of 37 trades involving 95 players. It’s June, the season is well underway but the team has struggled to come together. A recent clubhouse survey revealed that no player on the roster could name all of the other players on the roster correctly; even 1 player actually got his own name wrong in the survey.

 

4. Today’s Joe M Conversation

 

McCarthy: Everyone… check out this suit… what'd ya think?

 

Montana: Nice… That is a real humdinger.

 

Mauer: What’s it for? Where are you going?

 

McCarthy: Green Bay for the 2017 Ghost Conference. I’m one of the keynote speakers, along with Edgar Allen Poe, Jim Henson and Harold Ramis.

 

Maddon: Harold Ramis?

 

McCarthy: Yeah… Harold Ramis… he is the most important keynote speaker ever… he's going to show everyone how to avoid capture from those positron colliders.

 

Montana: Ahh… Ghostbusters… the proton pack. He has switched teams now. You’ve got the playbook.

 

McCarthy: Yep… Exactly.

 

Mauer: Hey… hey… Joe… what are you doing? Don’t fold that suit up like that… don't just stuff it in there. It’ll get all wrinkled.

 

McCarthy: It’s a suit… it goes in the suit… case…. doesn't it?

 

Maddon: No Joe… get a garment bag. Put the suit in the garment bag. It won’t get wrinkled that way.

 

McCarthy: What goes in the suitcase then?

 

Montana: The suitcase would be where you put your … umm…

 

Mauer: Garments, Joe… your garments go in the suitcase.

 

McCarthy: I think you guys are making this stuff up.

 

5. Funny Bone - I turned a corner at work too tightly yesterday and I struck my funny bone on a corner. I didn’t find it funny at all… Everyone else did though and I assume that’s how it got its name. I’m pretty sure the name didn’t originate from the source, more likely from those observing.

____________________

 

Lineups:

 

TWINS

 

Brian Dozier 2B

Joe Mauer 1B

Miguel Sano 3B

Robbie Grossman LF

Max Kepler RF

Eduardo Escobar DH

Chris Gimenez C

Ehire Adrianza SS

Byron Buxton CF

 

Hector Santiago P

 

MARINERS

 

Guillermo Heredia LF

Danny Valencia 1B

Robinson Cano 2B

Nelson Cruz DH

Kyle Seager 3B

Taylor Motter SS

Ben Gamel RF

Mike Zunino C

Jarrod Dyson CF

 

James Paxton P

 

Weather: Who cares? It's a retractable roof so they play rain or shine or gloom of night ...

 

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[EddieMatthews]

The Twins play relaxed on the road.  Their pitching remains suspect.  Hopefully the "up" Santana will show up Thursday.  Tuesday and Wednesday the bats need to be swinging.  Using the elevator analogy, let's hope they push the tenth floor button for a few days.

 

Good news is that Gibson will not pitch until Friday.  Go Twins!

[wsnydes]

If your suit goes in your garment bag and your garments go in your suitcase, what goes in your dopp kit?

[Blake]

I needed this. I went through game thread withdrawal yesterday.

 

We won't discuss the off-season.

[Vanimal46]

NEVER FORGET: Seattle is a place that tops their hot dogs with creme cheese.... Those savages. 

[Don Walcott]

Do you mean creme fromage?

[USAFChief]

NEVER FORGET: Seattle is a place that tops their hot dogs with creme cheese.... Those savages.

 

Well, they're prolly tofu dogs anyway, so who cares?

[King]

Go Twins Baby!!

[Pardon My Dinger]

NEVER FORGET: Seattle is a place that tops their hot dogs with creme cheese.... Those savages.

And they top their tossed salad with scrambled eggs...or something like that. They don't even know what do do with em, but they do it anyway.

[Teflon]

Sheesh. That whole garment bag/suitcase thing is confusing... It's like driving on a parkway and parking on a beltway.   

[sampleSizeOfOne]

Hope Edward McMichael also makes it to Green Bay.

 

Tuesday softball game is looking iffy due to local weather...

Edited June 6, 2017 by sampleSizeOfOne

[Vanimal46]

 

Hope Edward McMichael also makes it to Green Bay.

Tuesday softball game is looking iffy do to local weather...

 

We've all been waiting to scout your stat line SSoO. Hit us with your slash line! 

[sampleSizeOfOne]

NEVER FORGET: Seattle is a place that tops their hot dogs with creme cheese.... Those savages.

Evidentally you have never tried a Twinkie Wiener Sandwich...

 

("Tell him about the Twinkie")

 

https://youtube.com/watch?v=Z-_FO9p8Xdg

[sampleSizeOfOne]

We've all been waiting to scout your stat line SSoO. Hit us with your slash line!

0 for 7 or so. Have yet to get a hit. Closest i come so far was the first swing where the 3rd baseman had to dive for it.

 

Scored a run pinchrunning though. And it might be fewer at bats than i recall as one pop fly might have counted as a sac fly.

 

I am making Buxton's early season woes look good...

[sampleSizeOfOne]

...

 

5. Funny Bone - I turned a corner at work too tightly yesterday and I struck my funny bone on a corner. I didn’t find it funny at all… Everyone else did though and I assume that’s how it got its name. I’m pretty sure the name didn’t originate from the source, more likely from those observing.

 

Maybe you didn't hit it quite right?

[Twinsbar107]

 

0 for 7 or so. Have yet to get a hit. Closest i come so far was the first swing where the 3rd baseman had to dive for it.

Scored a run pinchrunning though. And it might be fewer at bats than i recall as one pop fly might have counted as a sac fly.

I am making Buxton's early season woes look good...

I'm sure he appreciates it. However, he is starting to play better, so I think you can bring your A game from here on out.

[Blake]

 

NEVER FORGET: Seattle is a place that tops their hot dogs with creme cheese.... Those savages. 

No, not savages. Savages eat grilled meat, bacon and real hot dogs with mustard. 

 

People who put creme cheese on hot dogs don't qualify as savages. Probably resemble this guy:

 

[gocgo]

Up or down?  Whenever I find myself getting down about our Twins, I remind myself of the expectations going into the season...kinda puts it all in perspective.  First place on June 6?  Never dreamed it.  Robby Grossman doing well at DH?  I was critical of keeping him on the team over Park.

 

As far as this series, win 1 of 3 and we are still 4-3 on the road trip.  Win 1 of 3 against the Giants and we are 5-5 for the road trip and that's all you need to do AS LONG AS you win 6 of 10 at home...and that seems to be the tough part so far this year.  I expect it to even out as the year goes on.

[sampleSizeOfOne]

Oh yeah...

 

I got an elevator story to share if anyone wants to hear it... er read it, i mean.

[Squirrel]

 

NEVER FORGET: Seattle is a place that tops their hot dogs with creme cheese.... Those savages. 

As opposed to bright green relish, wedges of tomato, chopped white onion, a dill pickle spear, pickled sport peppers and celery salt? Yeah ... no comment. I can't throw stones at what Seattle does with their hot dogs.

[sampleSizeOfOne]

0 for 7 or so. Have yet to get a hit. Closest i come so far was the first swing where the 3rd baseman had to dive for it.

Scored a run pinchrunning though. And it might be fewer at bats than i recall as one pop fly might have counted as a sac fly.

I am making Buxton's early season woes look good...

Game called on account of rain.

 

No breakin out of my slump today...

[Vanimal46]

 

Oh yeah...

I got an elevator story to share if anyone wants to hear it... er read it, i mean.

 

Go on?

[diehardtwinsfan]

 

As opposed to bright green relish, wedges of tomato, chopped white onion, a dill pickle spear, pickled sport peppers and celery salt? Yeah ... no comment. I can't throw stones at what Seattle does with their hot dogs.

 

yuck.

 

The correct answer is cheese and horseradish. 

 

Catsup/Ketchup or BBQ in a pinch. 

[Vanimal46]

So my team has been having a prank war over the last 2 weeks. Some are nearing the edge of crossing the line... It first started with replacing my co-worker's family pictures with pics of her celebrity crush Brad Pitt. Others bought fake cockroaches and scattered them around the office. 

 

It's now evolved to a person making a craigslist ad saying there's an above garage apartment available for rent with my phone number... I rebutted by signing him up for Farmersonly.com yesterday. 

[Squirrel]

 

yuck.

 

The correct answer is cheese and horseradish. 

 

Catsup/Ketchup or BBQ in a pinch. 

No ... the only answer is mustard and chopped onion, the only exception being to leave off the onion

[Craig Arko]

Pickled ginger and wasabi. Perhaps a little seaweed.

[mickeymental]

 

No ... the only answer is mustard and chopped onion, the only exception being to leave off the onion

... and then add extra mustard.

[Squirrel]

 

... and then add extra mustard.

And not that spicy brown stuff, either ... regular yellow mustard, as God intended!

[sampleSizeOfOne]

Go on?

College sports team work-out one Saturday morning was a relay race up the tallest building on campus. Only time going up counted in race, so we could take our time going down. I being a hiker at heart finished earlier than most.

 

After my final ascention, i pushed the button for the elvator at the top with no one else around waiting. I then had a change of heart, decided i wanted to go down stairs to warm down as it were, pushed the button on that floor, had a change of heart, went down another floor, and pushed the button. You might notice a patten, and so did i, repeatig it until i got to the second floor which was a sort of lobby with someone working a front desk.

 

Feeling a wee bit awkward, i decided this was the time to actually wait for the elevator. It came, and i got in an empty elevator and decended to the basement. The door opened in the basement and i got off to the jocular welcome of my teammates who kindly explained to me that they had all piled in after finishing their race at the top, and then rode the elevator down, which proceeded to open at every floor until about the 4th, where apparently another of the two elevators heeded my summons more quickly.

 

I think undue credit was given to me at that point for cleverness.

[Dave The Dastardly]

Sauerkraut, chopped onions, ketchup, mustard. One beer to wash it down. Second beer to wash down the tums. Wipe mouth on sleeve, hands on pants leg. Burp loudly, but politely. Take wife's elbow to the ribs with a smile.