Article: Falvey: I Will Spoil Avengers Ending If You Ask About the Bullpen One More Time

[RandBalls Stu]

The long-simmering debate over the Twins bullpen came to a head on Thursday, as a defiant Derek Falvey threatened to reveal the ending of the next Avengers movie to the next person who asked about relief pitching.Avengers: Endgame premieres in theaters next week, and has been the subject of much online speculation, along with requests from the studio to not spoil the film's ending. Falvey is unconcerned.

 

“I know what happens,” said the Twins Executive Vice President and Chief of Baseball Operations as he addressed reporters following yesterday’s 7-4 loss to the Blue Jays. “I saw it on Reddit. You wanna dance? I’ll tell you who dies right now. I’ll call your kids and grandkids too. Try me.”

 

The Twins were dogged by questions all off-season about their lack of bullpen spending. After a disappointing home series versus Toronto that saw relievers blow two games, the chatter only intensified. Falvey was having none of it.

 

“Do you want to know if Spider-Man and Black Panther come back? Do you want to know if Iron Man dies? Ask me about Craig Kimbrel,” said Falvey. “I will absolutely do it.”

 

Disputes over the bullpen upgrades (and lack thereof) rankled the team’s fanbase and media members alike, with unconfirmed reports of Twins Daily’s own Nick Nelson challenging ESPN’s Phil Mackey to a sabermetrics-themed rap battle at the Buffalo Wild Wings on Snelling Avenue.

 

For his part, Falvey was resolute in defending the team’s approach.

 

“We’re not as stable as we’d like to be this early in the season, but we like the guys we have,” said an agitated Falvey. “We’ve had some injuries. Are they the mortal injuries that Ant-Man and The Hulk suffer at the hand of Thanos? No.”

 

Falvey continued.

 

“Oh, I’m sorry. Did I say too much? How rude of me. I know how the new Star Wars ends too. Keep asking questions. See what happens.”

 

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[wsnydes]

I'm as irritated as anyone about the bullpen, but I've got mad respect for a threat like that!

[diehardtwinsfan]

You should have added Game of Thrones too... that would be the ultimate threat.

[Tom Froemming]

This killed me. I am now dead.

[USAFChief]

 

This killed me. I am now dead.

Hey!  Spoiler alert!!

[ashbury]

I didn't know another Avengers movie would be coming out. And they're moving forward with the Star Wars series too? C'mon, publishing this article ruined the surprise, you jerk.

[goulik]

 

You should have added Game of Thrones too... that would be the ultimate threat.

Dang it, you beat me to it!

[Puckett34]

 

This killed me. I am now dead.

You play the Game of Bullpen, you win...wait. Wrong reference.

[Don't Feed the Greed Guy]

Spoiler: Craig Kimbrel has a cameo near the end of the Avengers. All seems lost, he saves the day. I hear its fabulous!

[Nick Nelson]

That rap battle is gonna be Blazin Hot 

[Doomtints]

There's no reason a GM of a sports franchise could not say something like this for laughs.

 

Thanks for making me realize how boring and uncreative these people are.

[gil4]

 

About that bullpen... 

 

(Spoil away - save me ten bucks)

 

P.S. - We all know how Star Wars ends - they eventually make a movie so bad that is kills the franchise. They have come close a few times. The jury is still out on Solo.

[MABB1959]

The attendance for the Toronto series was pathetic.  He probably has a lot more on his mind.  I think it was around 41,000 for all 4 games.  The stands look pitiful when you watch on TV

[Nick Nelson]

 

Spoiler: Craig Kimbrel has a cameo near the end of the Avengers. All seems lost, he saves the day. I hear its fabulous!

Now I'm envisioning a scenario in the movie where Thanos is killing off the entire universe methodically, and Captain America's sitting there staring at the phone like, 

 

"Should we call Kimbrel? I dunno... let's wait it out..." 

"Spider-Man just evaporated into thin air!"

"That draft-pick comp tho..."

[TheLeviathan]

 

You play the Game of Bullpen, you win...wait. Wrong reference.

 

Wait until August.  That press conference where they ask about Kimbrel is going to turn into the Red Wedding.

[MABB1959]

_{I am not in a panic mode.  I am excited to watch each game so far.  I think the hitting can pick up the pitching when needed.  Seems they have a good core and motivated team.  I don' really have play-off expectations but don't think they will lose 100 either.  I could be a good year to watch and next year EXPECT to go far in the play-offs.}

[Puckett34]

 

Hilarious. Reminds me that we are only 16 games in so we should chill out a little. BY the way, I do know how Game of Thrones ends...

Didn't know George RR Martin was a Twins fan!

[Puckett34]

 

Wait until August.  That press conference where they ask about Kimbrel is going to turn into the Red Wedding.

The North remembers

[wsnydes]

 

The attendance for the Toronto series was pathetic.  He probably has a lot more on his mind.  I think it was around 41,000 for all 4 games.  The stands look pitiful when you watch on TV

Imagine what it looks like in person!

[railmarshalljon]

 

About that bullpen... 

 

(Spoil away - save me ten bucks)

 

P.S. - We all know how Star Wars ends - they eventually make a movie so bad that is kills the franchise. They have come close a few times. The jury is still out on Solo.

 

 

If they fail, they reboot. Disney owns Star Wars now, so be prepared for them to do what they did to Marvel to Star Wars. There'll be clunkers along the way but that won't matter in the long run. 

 

Personally, I'm excited about the Jar Jar Binks Trilogy.

[wsnydes]

 

Personally, I'm excited about the Jar Jar Binks Trilogy.

Me too! I know that I can save my money upfront instead of wishing I had after the fact.

[diehardtwinsfan]

 

Hilarious. Reminds me that we are only 16 games in so we should chill out a little. BY the way, I do know how Game of Thrones ends...

do us a favor and finish the last two books so that everyone else does too.

 

Thanks

[Danchat]

We need more articles like this.

 

Kimbrel vs Thanos... maybe Kimbrel could defeat him with a fastball, just gotta make sure he aims for the head.

[gil4]

 

This killed me. I am now dead.

I hope you're not offended that seven people (and counting) liked the announcement that you are dead.

[Puckett34]

 

We need more articles like this.

Kimbrel vs Thanos... maybe Kimbrel could defeat him with a fastball, just gotta make sure he aims for the head.

How many infinity stones does Kimbrel have?? Is that why his original asking price was north of 100 million?

[gil4]

 

Personally, I'm excited about the Jar Jar Binks Trilogy.

Mesa don't wanna Jar Jar Binks trilogy. Yousa should bita yousa tongue, okeeday?

[diehardtwinsfan]

 

We need more articles like this.

Kimbrel vs Thanos... maybe Kimbrel could defeat him with a fastball, just gotta make sure he aims for the head.

nah, with the time stone, that fastball will be as fast as Thanos wants it...

 

And he's a pretty big dude too... I've got to think he could hit one 700 feet if he tried.

[Yawn Gardenhose]

What's Reddit?

[h2oface]

I would have asked him. I think he was bluffing.

[ashbury]

I would have asked him. I think he was bluffing.

Vulcans NEVER bluff.

 

Oops. Wrong universe.