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Yawn Gardenhose

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  1. Thanks for the laffs! Comedy like this is the main reason I come to this site. If we're getting a Manager of the Year crowning on Game 1 of the second minor-league portion of the May schedule, I can't *wait* for the content after Game 18 of the second minor-league portion of the May schedule. Keep it up!
  2. Twins record vs teams better than .500 = 5-3 Doubters love to look at a team's record against winning teams, but the Twins are one of only three teams better than .500 versus winning teams. That can be a tricky stat. Some teams go back and forth over that line. For instance, the Twins are 3-0 versus the White Sox, who are precisely .500 when I'm writing this. If they win one more game, the Twins' record improves to 8-3, which is even better. This is not correct. With the loss last night, the Twins are 5-4 against teams better than .500. This *includes* the 3-0 against the White Sox, who are currently 15-14. If they drop to .500, that record would be 2-4. The only series so far against current winning teams are 0-2 vs Dodgers, 2-1 vs. Rays, 3-0 vs White Sox, 0-1 vs. Astros. The Charmin-soft AL Central-loaded schedule has always worked against the Twins historically when they were competitive. In 2019 they won 100 games and were 5 games below .500 versus teams with .500 or better records. Their record deludes the team into thinking that they don't need to add significant pieces at the deadline. That mentality results in things like thinking it's a sensible idea to start a cab driver on the mound at Yankee Stadium in the playoffs.
  3. It's not even 30 games into the season and this was the Twins' fourth 2-1 game and second 1-0 game this season. Yes, Twins are winning, but man is baseball duller than ever. I'm not sure I've watched a full game in three weeks. Very difficult to keep my attention with all the non-action (strikeouts, walks, launch-angle fly balls, etc) that's so highly valued in today's game, especially with things like the NHL playoffs a channel or two away.
  4. Little League stuff. Peak Gardenhire teams won a bunch of games like this too, so take that as a good sign I guess. With seemingly no one in the division interested in playing quality baseball, the Twins might as well take advantage. Still, I've seen less all-around, both-teams ineptitude in a t-ball game than that final play.
  5. I know they're dealing with a bunch of injuries now but wow did the White Sox look terrible this weekend. Did their best to gift-wrap two wins to the Twins this series. And this is supposed to be a legit World Series contender? They don't look to be even a .500 team if they keep this up. Three weeks into the season the AL Central has zero teams above .500 - in the last year of the hyper-unbalanced schedule, this division might be the worst it's ever been, which is truly saying something.
  6. Removing Kershaw was bad on several levels. The idea that these athletes are worth 100s of millions of dollars, yet teams treat them like pieces of porcelain because they didn't get two more spring training starts this year is frustrating and illogical. The idea that Kershaw just can't crack 80 pitches belies his actual performance that was visible to anyone watching; he showed no signs of fatigue or fading. Most concerning of all is that baseball is in an era of "anti-drama" where historical performances are intentionally avoided or aborted, always reasoned away using the word salads of new-age baseball philosophy where players are reduced to never-ending stat lines and probabilities. The role of the starting pitcher is becoming extinct, and unnaturally so - teams are purposely limiting the impact of the starter for various reasons. It's perhaps the main reason why I've found the postseason to be nearly unwatchable over the last half-decade. For a sport in decline, which already is light on drama, this strikes me as suicidal for the long-term health of the sport. Bad, bad stuff.
  7. Compared to last year's Opening Day roster, the Twins have upgraded at shortstop, downgraded at third base, downgraded at catcher, and downgraded at starting pitching. If Sanchez gets a good chunk of DH at-bats, that's a downgrade at DH, but I'll give that one a wash. Overall I don't think the Correa signing offsets the downgrades at the other positions. If Buxton can stay healthy, and I don't know why that should be expected, I see 75-77 wins out of the team. If Buxton is as injured as he was last year, I don't see much movement from the 73 wins from last year. And that's factoring in the benefit of playing in the worst division in baseball. So I'll give them a C, as these moves collectively don't move the needle much.
  8. I've seen this stance mocked by a bunch of people now. Don't know why. It's possible to like the Correa signing but still feel the team can't reasonably compete with the currently assembled pitching staff. This isn't the NBA or NFL where one player can turn a last place team into a title contender. The Angels have the best player in the world AND the reigning league MVP and haven't even had a winning record in seven years.
  9. Re: the Twins Daily hagiography, I realized that the site had "made it" into the mainstream a few years ago when KFAN included some TD gems it in its Preposterous Statement Tournament. Some more love this year! I even think the site is underrepresented in the tourney, just based on the fact that each time I scroll through headlines I'm guaranteed at least one gut laugh. Well done, keep it up!
  10. I had to rewind this Gleeman gem twice to make sure I heard it correctly. Exact quote: "Ten years from now ... there's a very good chance that Joe Ryan's got 150 wins in the majors." I LOL'ed right there on the running trail. Putting aside the fact that Gleeman himself and the other hyper-analytics guys have devalued starter wins to the point where they're not seen as relevant, this would essentially be a Hall-of-Fame career that he's predicting out of a soon-to-be 26-year old with all of 5 garbage time MLB starts, all against terrible offenses, under his belt. An average of 15 wins per year for ten years???? This year's Cy Young winners won 13 and 11 games, to put that in perspective. I'd say it's more likely that Ryan doesn't get 15 wins in his entire MLB career. Thanks for the laffs!
  11. Completely agree. I don't say this lightly, but the Rays ought to be contracted from baseball. They are by far the franchise out of all the major sports leagues that deserve to be contracted. No team in any league should emulate their mode of operation. Their success is a fluke and born out of scummy cheapness (a cheapness that makes even the Pohlads blush) and is terrible for the sport.
  12. The only surprise here was that the front office didn't use Lavelle as their stooge to float this non-rumor out there. If they were "linked" it was that they made some pathetic lowball offer so they could say "see, we offered him a contract!" This is simply not a serious franchise and haven't operated like one in several decades.
  13. Twenty year anniversary of a historic date in Twins history. https://collection.baseballhall.org/PASTIME/letter-jim-pohlad-minnesota-twins-employees-2001-november-09 Every now and again, and especially when I read praise of the Pohlad family, I google this sucker and have a blast reminding myself of this gem of a document. To my knowledge it's a one-of-a-kind document, at least in modern sports history - an owner signing the death warrant of their own franchise. They weren't planning on selling the team or moving the team - they were planning on taking the team out behind the woodshed and shooting it in the head. Even Montreal Expos fans can't claim an owner that did that - they were owned by the league at the time of the contraction talks. Consider yourself lucky. Some great bits here - I always love the "finger pointing" bit. Even the more subtle parts of the letter - the letterhead with the World Series years, the "Dear Twins Employee" boilerplate, the smattering of rhetorical questions - just brilliant work. I wonder if we'll ever know if Selig was really planning on going through with contraction or it was all just a ruse to pressure the state legislature to build the Pohlads a new office building. But we at least have this letter, and I'll sure be cherishing it for the rest of my days.
  14. I've closely followed the Padres the last few years so I have a well-formed opinion on Tingler. Not a surprising hire as Tingler is a hyper-analytics guy; particularly from the pitching side he's an inveterate over-manager. Starter giving you four innings is more than acceptable, and having 9 pitchers pitch in a 9 inning game isn't abnormal. And this was with the Padres going out and getting veterans like Snell and Darvish over the offseason. I grew to really hate him over his Padres tenure, though the hate for Tingler was at a mild simmer compared to the rolling boil of hatred I have for Baldelli. And the dugout episode in St. Louis where Machado upbraided Tatis was particularly illustrative of the fact that he had lost the clubhouse. Not that bench coaches matter much (though there are plenty of fans who seem to think Derek Shelton was a major reason for the 2019 success), but I'm not inspired by this move. He's just an older, beardier Baldelli.
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