The 2022 Playoff Cheering Guide for Minnesota Twins Fans

[RandBalls Stu]

The Twins didn’t make the playoffs this year. That stinks! However, this should be a fun postseason for all baseball fans. Here’s a guide to who you should root for as the postseason begins.

Image courtesy of Brad Penner-USA TODAY Sports

THE AMERICAN LEAGUE

NEW YORK YANKEES: If you can pull yourself away from cheering for the Cowboys, the Lakers, and Notre Dame, this is your team. Also, you are the devil. I hope they break into every Aaron Judge at-bat to show highlights of preseason NHL games. On the plus side, the longer they’re in the playoffs that’s less time for Josh Donaldson to dedicate to his first love (racism).

CLEVELAND GUARDIANS: There are those who say, “Well, if the Twins can’t win, I hope the AL Central winner does.” These are the people who fall for every Facebook multi-level marketing scam. They have a garage full of LulaRoe tights. Don’t listen to them.

SEATTLE MARINERS: No one deserves to win a World Series. The ideal outcome to this year’s playoffs would be for all 12 participants to get a teamwide case of mono and the league declaring Minnesota the champion since they’re healthy and have kind eyes. Some blowhards might say this title would have an asterisk but it would still be 100x more legit than any title won during the color barrier era so I’ll see you all on the parade route.

ANYWAY, since this likely won’t happen, Seattle seems cool. They probably should have won one when they won a thousand games in 2001. You can root for them, sure. My American League pick.

TAMPA BAY RAYS: Until they re-rebrand as the Devil Rays, I can’t in good conscience advise cheering for this team. Which is a bummer, because their goofy, awful stadium reminds me of the Metrodome, a goofy, incredible stadium.

TORONTO BLUE JAYS: They already have Ruffles All-Dressed chips. They need nothing else from us.

HOUSTON ASTROS: No.

THE NATIONAL LEAGUE

PHILADELPHIA PHILLIES: This city’s sports fans are true criminals and hooligans yet achieve a level of dirtbag grace that other metro areas can only hope to attain. That said, the Eagles just won a Super Bowl and look great again. They don’t need our help.

SAN DIEGO PADRES: I honestly quit paying attention when Fernando Tatis, Jr. got suspended. Remember when their uniforms were yellow and brown?

ST. LOUIS CARDINALS: See HOUSTON ASTROS

LOS ANGELES DODGERS: If you care whether they win or lose you’re more invested than their fans are.

ATLANTA BRAVES: They have both Eddie Rosario and future MVP Robbie Grossman, god bless them both. However, they also have the racist chant and Ron Gant was out and sucks to be you, Lonnie Smith. Worst franchise in sports. Walk into the ocean, bozos.

NEW YORK METS: They won a World Series with the entire team out of their minds on cocaine and beat Boston, the most insufferable sports city in America, to do it. They have Ed Escobar, one of the greatest Twins of all time. I hope they win every game 17-2 and they build a statue of Ed. THIS IS YOUR TEAM, MINNESOTA. LOVE THEM LIKE ED LOVES YOU.

View full article

[mikelink45]

Good humor - I will take the Cardinals because I have always liked them and there is something about Pujols on a championship team that feels right.

I like the Mariners, but my heart is with the Blue Jays.  

I like having two birds at the top of the season.

[Peter]

As a sports fanatic I’ll watch the playoffs-as well nfl/nba/nhl/soccer/ncaa FB/BB. The best thing is there’s no off season to games!!! 

[DJL44]

Cardinals - Astros could be a fun series. Those franchises are not fond of one another.

[Byrdman]

I am cheering for the Mariners in the AL and Mets in the NL.  But I honestly don't care who goes to the world series as long as the Yankees and the Dodgers don't make it.

[Dave The Dastardly]

I don't really care as long as the Yankees lose. I've already started gathering Yankee memorabilia from recovering Yankee fans for my annual backyard Bad Ju-Ju Fire and Damnation bonfire. Donations welcome. Also feel free to send along any Irish whiskey... you know, to help start the bonfire. However don't be surprised if some spillage might occur. Slainte!

[TwinsAce]

Forgot it was Friday and didn't notice the author at first...lol
But even after figuring that out, it still seemed pretty accurate. 

[lukeduke1980]

Surely if all teams got mono, the Twins would not only get mono but take way longer to recover, and require scheduled off days in the 2023 season for all 26 players which just happen to fall on the same day, where fans will pay 16 dollars per beer to watch Jake Cave and the Saints play at Target Field.

[Puckett34]

Mariners and Mets lets go.

[h2oface]

Always enjoy your pieces.

This is the first time you strike out badly, and are off base. It is only one sentence, though, so I guess just one strike. 

"On the plus side, the longer they’re in the playoffs that’s less time for Josh Donaldson to dedicate to his first love (racism)."

[Battle ur tail off]

Cleveland Guardians get 7-2/3 out of their starter today. Then they let their top bullpen arm get the last four outs. 

 

 

 

 

[Mortimerkenny21]

8 hours ago, Byrdman said:

I am cheering for the Mariners in the AL and Mets in the NL.  But I honestly don't care who goes to the world series as long as the Yankees and the Dodgers don't make it.

My feelings exactly! Blue Jays would be alright too, hope for Seattle though. No Atsro's either!

[ashbury]

6 hours ago, lukeduke1980 said:

Surely if all teams got mono, the Twins would not only get mono but take way longer to recover, and require scheduled off days in the 2023 season for all 26 players which just happen to fall on the same day, where fans will pay 16 dollars per beer to watch Jake Cave and the Saints play at Target Field.

Twins pitchers would all get elbow mono or shoulder mono or hamstring mono or....

[Hosken Bombo Disco]

The Mets did what now in 86 you say?   

[rwilfong86]

Blue Jays, Mets, and Braves. Or really anyone besides the Yankees or Dodgers

[Parfigliano]

Mets.  In SD 1984 when couldnt get Twin TV only radio.  Could get Mets TV (thanks Vermillion cable)   start watchin Mets.  Watch Mets 83-84, 84-85 and 86 

NL Met fan since.  Always Twins.

[Parfigliano]

On 10/7/2022 at 7:52 AM, Dave The Dastardly said:

I don't really care as long as the Yankees lose. I've already started gathering Yankee memorabilia from recovering Yankee fans for my annual backyard Bad Ju-Ju Fire and Damnation bonfire. Donations welcome. Also feel free to send along any Irish whiskey... you know, to help start the bonfire. However don't be surprised if some spillage might occur. Slainte!

Burn Irish Whiskey?  Save it.  Burn the rest with rubbing alcohol

[Dave The Dastardly]

2 hours ago, Parfigliano said:

Burn Irish Whiskey?  Save it.  Burn the rest with rubbing alcohol

Shhh! "Spillage" warning designed to protect me from claims I might "misappropriate" any donations of Irish Elixir of Life.

[SkyBlueWaters]

 

Good stuff. You had me up until the Mets. 

Go Padres & Mariners, beyond that, we want the Tribe Guardian colors in LulaRoe patterns.

[mikelink45]

The Guardians just won their series - can we send a video to the Twins - this is how you do it

 

[minman1982]

I am going with the Mariners.  To get to the World Series, they are going to have to beat the Cheaters from Houston and then either the Evil Empire of New York or some Statue in Cleveland.  Also, they have a fun group of guys that don't seem to ever quit playing.  When I was watching the game yesterday, I said in the 5th when the Blue Jays were up 8-1, "well, time for Seattle to think about protecting their bullpen for tomorrow's game".  Apparently, no one mentioned this idea to the Mariners.  I have to respect a team that still goes all out when they are down 8-1.