Game Thread: Twins vs Indians 8/10/19 6:10 CDT

[Dave The Dastardly]

Fractionally Speaking

 

 

My wife, who is a freaking genius when it comes to baking, has a helluva time with fractions. So whenever she runs into a new dessert recipe she wants to try, but only after she makes her personal “adjustments”, I have to convert any fractions used in the original recipe to match her planned adjustments. I gave up trying to teach her how to convert fractions about 30 years ago; about the same time she gave up trying to teach me how to bake.

 

So we reached a typical fractional husband/wife compromise on dessert responsibility; 4/5 for her, 1/5 for me.

 

 

Speaking of fifths, remember when whiskey was sold by fifths? You could buy a pint if you were a little short of cash, or you wanted to hide the bottle in your coat pocket (we had big pockets back then because we had more stuff to put in them) or you bought a fifth. So you could go into a liquor store and “plead the fifth”, you know, trying to impress the bartender who knew damn well you weren’t old enough to buy as much as a drop. If you were lucky he didn't incriminate you.

 

Speaking of fractional whiskey, back when I was tending bar during my college days an American shot of booze was also called a jigger. But if you were in the United Kingdom where fractions were still king (reached for that one), an English shot was 1/4 of a Gill; a Scottish shot was 1/5 of a Gill - that sounds kind of fishy - and the fun-loving Irish were busy pouring a 1/4 of a naigin.

 

Okay, okay. What’s all this fractional stuff got to do with today’s baseball game? Well, for one thing my wife will be trying a new dessert today. For another, the way the Twins have been playing (or not) lately - they are now tied with Cleveland for the divisional lead - I may need to run out and buy another fifth of Jameson just to sooth my nerves during today's game because I think it's going to be a seat-edger. But I don't believe the Indians have a 1/5 of a Gill at beating the Twins today so when it comes to fractionally overtaking the Twins for the Division lead the jigger is up.

 

And as far as my responsibility for today's dessert experiment, I've already adjusted the fractions and my wife is no longer naigin me.

 

And that, boys and girls, once again proves that everything in life can be tied to baseball... and whiskey. Let us celebrate that affirmation with a wee dram…

 

Over The Hump For the Twins

 

"Smelly" Jake Odirizzi   12-5   3.61   ERA   120 K

 

 

On The Bump For the Tribe

 

Adam "Plunk 'Em" Plutko   4-2   4.55   ERA   36 K

 

 

[Dave The Dastardly]

Disclaimer: The above video was posted strictly for the readers' entertainment. My wife and I have been happily married for 35 years (if you count the two years we lived in sin) and she in no way resembles the wives in the video; though there is a strong resemblance to the blonde walking the dog. But she's not that tall, and she has auburn hair, not blonde. And we don't have a dog. Otherwise, that's her.

 

Oh, and she's not right now staring over my shoulder. Baking, actually...

[ashbury]

The baking geniuses I've run across don't measure anything anyway, and you can't get a useful recipe out of them when you ask. It's always "not too thick but not too runny," or "put in enough rum extract that you'll be able to tell, but not so much that the reverend will be offended." None of this scant-one-seventh-of-a-tablespoon nonsense.

[Otto von Ballpark]

Plutko looks like a good match for our Twins. Career 2.4 HR/9 -- 37 HR in only 139.2 innings.

[ashbury]

Adam "Plunk 'Em" Plutko   4-2   4.55   ERA   36 K

In keeping with part of your theme today:

 

[TwinsCD]

That is a well-done opening.  I'm a dessert maven, have a mouth full of sweet teeth, what is the dessert of the day and how can it be sampled by the masses?

[SwainZag]

Bombas early and often, please.

[ewen21]

Get us through six today, Jake.

 

Somebody has to put on the big boy pants here AND FAST. The last halfway decent start was Jake's last start but AGAIN his pitch counts are absurd so he couldn't go deep.

 

Give me six freaking innings like last time, preferably more

[HawksNest]

Don't really believe in "must-win" games, especially during a 162 game baseball season.  

 

But, contradictions aside, today feels like a must-win.

[yarnivek1972]

The baking geniuses I've run across don't measure anything anyway, and you can't get a useful recipe out of them when you ask. It's always "not too thick but not too runny," or "put in enough rum extract that you'll be able to tell, but not so much that the reverend will be offended." None of this scant-one-seventh-of-a-tablespoon nonsense.

You ever notice on those cooking shows that all the ingredients are pre-measured and sitting right there?

 

Further, once they finish they put it in the oven. But, wonder of wonders, there’s already one in there! That never happens in MY kitchen.

 

 

Lastly, I was watching the Today show once years ago because we had been told that an interview with my niece might air. Anyway, it was grill season, so the “chef of the day” was putting raw hamburger on the grill with his bare hands. After that, WITHOUT WASHING THOSE HANDS, he proceeded to prepare the buns with lettuce, tomatoes, etc all with his bare hands.

 

I’ve worked as a kitchen manager in franchise restaurants for about 25 years. I was thoroughly disgusted. To the point that I found a way to email the show and tell them not only how gross that is but inherently unsafe. I told them that they should be setting an example for the proper way to do things.

 

Never heard back.

[yarnivek1972]

The Mitch is back...

 

This is probably the best all around lineup the Twins can put on the field right now.

[IndianaTwin]

Good omen.

 

This afternoon, the MLB Network showed "Little Big League" for something like the 98th time this year. Once again, the Twins, under the tutelage of their rookie manager, defeated Cleveland in a key late-season tilt. 

 

[Hosken Bombo Disco]

Was your wife baking a 22/7 by chance? 

[IndianaTwin]

 

Was your wife baking a 22/7 by chance? 

 

Not for another 7 months and 4 days. 

[crapforks]

Any insight on if/when this game might start?

[Mr. Brooks]

Any insight on if/when this game might start?

Looks like a doubleheader tomorrow, IMO.

[mrtwinsfan]

Hey , Lets try scoring 1st -often 

[yarnivek1972]

Looks like a doubleheader tomorrow, IMO.

My weather spies say the rain should end at 7:30, so perhaps an 8 pm start.

 

However, my spies further tell me that a 1/2 hour or so delay is possible at 9.

 

So, if I were Baldelli, I might employ an opener tonight. Trevor May perhaps for an inning or two or until the rain comes. Then bring in Odorizzi after the rain delay.

 

Think outside the box. Knowledge is power.

[Mike Sixel]

Sure would be nice to have Patrick Corbin right now......

[ashbury]

Was your wife baking a 22/7 by chance? 

Not for another 7 months and 4 days. 

http://giphygifs.s3.amazonaws.com/media/A9KfKenpqNDfa/giphy.gif

[Hosken Bombo Disco]

first pitch 8:00 PM

[yarnivek1972]

first pitch 8:00 PM

Isn’t that what I said?

 

 

[Puckett34]

 

Isn’t that what I said?
 

Prediction for the game? Or are your powers just limited to the meteorological predictive type?

[yarnivek1972]

Imagine if I used my powers for good instead of for evil...

[TwinsCD]

 

My weather spies say the rain should end at 7:30, so perhaps an 8 pm start.

However, my spies further tell me that a 1/2 hour or so delay is possible at 9.

So, if I were Baldelli, I might employ an opener tonight. Trevor May perhaps for an inning or two or until the rain comes. Then bring in Odorizzi after the rain delay.

Think outside the box. Knowledge is power.

 

You're 1 for 1 and I hope that's where your predictions end as far as the weather is concerned.

[yarnivek1972]

You're 1 for 1 and I hope that's where your predictions end as far as the weather is concerned.

There’s still a chance of a shower around 9, but the odds are going down.

[Hosken Bombo Disco]

Prediction for the game? Or are your powers just limited to the meteorological predictive type?

...

 

[ashbury]

...

 

 

 

 

Carnac, the Magnificent: "Chance of a shower around 9."

Ed McMahon: Chance of a shower around 9? In Los Angeles?

Carnac: I am not aware of a location. Just the answer. "Chance of a shower around 9".

Ed: Be that as it may, your Magnificence.

Carnac: It is always around 9, somewhere in the world, after all

Ed: I thought your saying was that it's always 5 somewhere.

Carnac: <double take> Hey. Stick to the cue cards.

Ed: <squints> "You. Are. Most. Wise."

Carnac: May the fleas of a thousand agave plants bite you in your tequila sunrise.

Ed: Perhaps we should move on to the question inside the hermetically sealed envelope?

Carnac: Perhaps.

Ed: The answer being, "Chance of a shower around 9."

Carnac: <opens, blows, removes card> "What did the Twins manager tell his starting pitcher to expect, just before a cloudless 8:10 pm start?"

 

[David HK]

Just checked in to the game- 2nd inning- is Jake over 50 pitches yet?

[operation mindcrime]

Nice effort Ehire!