Game Thread 5/22/18 7:10 CDT Twins vs Tigers

[Dave The Dastardly]

The Almost Right Stuff

 

 

I like learning new stuff. Apparently that’s not normal. My wife can attest to the fact that I’m not normal. Therefore I am.

 

People in general don’t like learning new stuff, because they don’t already know it. That makes new stuff unsettling. So sometimes the best way to teach “normal” people new stuff is to lace it with old stuff that they think they already know.

 

Assuming of course they remember the old stuff. Which becomes problematic as you get older. That’s because the older you get the more stuff you have to try to remember because you’ve been around the block a time or two. Which sometimes makes it difficult to remember which block you live on.

 

Where was I going with this...?

 

Oh yeah, here’s some interesting new stuff about Detroit and the Tigers I just learned... or maybe I learned it once before and then forgot it. You know, because I’ve always found the city of Detroit kind of forgettable. Even back when I could remember things. Though I do recall Bert Blyleven once drawing a reprimand for commenting that downtown Detroit “looked the best he’d ever seen it” when it was shrouded in fog. There’s an old line about the “fog of war” I could probably insert here, but I forget how it goes.

 

Detroit was founded on July 24, 1701 by the French explorer and adventurer Antoine de la Mothe Cadillac. So you folks out there roaming around in a Cadillac, you’re in a French car. But don’t surrender just yet. Just be sure to order American fries at MacDonalds and you’ll be okay.

 

In 2013, Detroit became the largest U.S. city to file for bankruptcy, as will many Cadillac owners after they forget to make their car payment for a couple of months.

 

The City of Detroit anchors the third-largest economic region in the Midwest, behind Chicago and Minneapolis-St. Paul. You hear that? We’re Number Two! Chant that at pedestrians while holding up two fingers the next time you’re driving through Detroit in your Cadillac. You’ll probably get a one-finger salute in return. Significantly, the Twins are currently Number Two in the division standings.

 

The north side of Lake Erie was held by the Huron and Neutral peoples until the 1650s, when the Iroquois pushed both them and the Erie people away from the lake and its beaver-rich feeder streams in the Beaver Wars of 1649–1655. A Beaver War. That’s eerie. If TD wasn’t a family site a guy could get a lot of mileage out of that. Unless of course you’re driving a Cadillac, eating American fries and waving two fingers at Detroit citizens. Your mileage in that case could prove to be very limited. But I do have to wonder which side those Neutral people took during the Beaver War... I’m guessing they may have flip-flopped a time or two.

 

The US prohibition of alcohol from 1920 to 1933 resulted in the Detroit River becoming a major conduit for smuggling of illegal Canadian spirits. I suppose the Canucks just dumped the spirits into the river and the Americans lapped it up once it crossed the border. Could also explain why the Canadians today are short of ghosts.

 

Detroit has its own salt mine. It’s located 1,100 ft (340 m) below the city. The mine opened in 1910 and covers 1,500 acres underground. So now you know where laid-off autoworkers wind up after their unemployment runs out, their Cadillac gets repossessed, they lose their own Beaver War and the fog rolls in.

 

I also have some interesting Detroit baseball stuff for us to learn. You know, since this is supposed to be connected in some way to baseball.

 

Ron Gardenhire is the Detroit manager. Remember him? That reminds me of that old joke about the priest who hired a guy with no arms to be the bell ringer. The guy rang the bell by running face first into it. Unfortunately one day he slipped, missed the bell and went right out the bell tower and face-planted the sidewalk. A parishioner ran up to the body, rolled him over and asked the priest what the man's name was. The priest replied, "I don't recall his name, but his face rings a bell."

 

Here’s some more Detroit organization coaching names that may ring a bell. Rick “Pitch To Contact” Anderson is the bullpen coach and the ubiquitous Joe Vavra is in charge of quality control for the Tigers. Whatever that means. Sounds like he could be the locker room plumber.

 

Former Twins player and very successful minor league manager Dougie Mientkiewicz, shafted by the Twins FO, now manages Detroit’s AAA team, the Toledo Mud Hens. Who, by the way, are currently on top of the AAA International League. Another ex-Twin, Brian Harper, is the hitting coach for the Mud Hens. Dougie was a Gold Glove first baseman and Harper was probably the best two-strike hitter in baseball when he was catching for the Twins. He even played defense on occasion.

 

 

The Mud Hens undoubtedly have the coolest minor league team name in baseball. And as such have generated their own mystique (no, not that Mystique (Rebecca Romijn) though she has generated a lot of... uh, interest, in her own right).

 

MASH character, Maxwell Klinger (played by Jamie Farr) was a Toledo native and fan of the Mud Hens. A fact Klinger often mentioned on the show, even wearing a Mud Hen T-shirt at times. It’s a little known Cliff Claven factoid that Jamie Farr in real life is a Toledo native and a Mud Hen fan. Strange stuff happens when fiction meets... fables?

 

Lou Brown (James Gammon), the character who played the Indians manager in the greatest baseball movie of all time, “Major League” was selling tires and coaching the Mud Hens when he got the call to take over the Indians.

 

 

Kirby Pucket, Max Sherzer and Casey Stengle all played for the Mud Hens at one time or another. Whether Lou Brown was the Mud Hen manager at any of those times we probably will never know. Unless of course we tip a beer with Cliff Claven.

 

 

And the Mud Hens play their home games at something called Fifth Third Field. I’m not a math guy but I’m thinking that maybe that fraction should be reduced.

 

So there you have it, lots of threads; old Twins stuff, new Detroit stuff, Mud Hens stuff, all for the price of one game thread. You get what you pay for. Now all that's left is for us to hope Lance Lynn can deliver the right stuff tonight.

 

Quiz on Friday.

 

Scheduled Hurlers For Tonight’s Epic Clash

 

Twins:   Lance “Loophole” Lynn   1-4    ERA 7.47    41K

 

Tigers:   Mathew “Marshmallow” Boyd   2-3   ERA 3.19    41K

 

Lineups:   Unknown At This Time But I’m Sure Paul the Puzzler Will Surprise Us Later

[USAFChief]

Fabulous, DTD!  

 

Thanks.

[wsnydes]

Speaking of the French, Ryan LaMarre was recalled to fill Hughes' spot on the active roster.

[sampleSizeOfOne]

The Almost Right Stuff

 

...

 

Quiz on Friday.

 

...

Will this count towards our fall semester grade or spring?

 

Also how many games or game threads will be on it?

[BoofBonser]

Tonight is the night the Twins move into a tie with Cleveland for a share of 1st place in the vaunted AL Central!!!

Wait, did you say Lance Lynn is starting...

 

 

sh*t




 

[ashbury]

Speaking of the French, Ryan LaMarre was recalled to fill Hughes' spot on the active roster.

Good. His fastball's better.

 

_{^{/ Sorry Phil, the mourning period is over.}}

 

_{^{// Oh, and good pun. "Fill Hughes".}}

[Nine of twelve]

Former Twins player and very successful minor league manager Dougie Mientkiewicz, shafted by the Twins FO, now manages Detroit’s AAA team, the Toledo Mud Hens. Who, by the way, are currently on top of the AAA International League. Another ex-Twin, Brian Harper, is the hitting coach for the Mud Hens.

I'll disagree with the idea that Mient was shafted. I seem to recall a short thread in which this subject was touched on.

[Squirrel]

 

The City of Detroit anchors the third-largest economic region in the Midwest, behind Chicago and Minneapolis-St. Paul. You hear that? We’re Number Two! Chant that at pedestrians while holding up two fingers the next time you’re driving through Detroit in your Cadillac. You’ll probably get a one-finger salute in return. Significantly, the Twins are currently Number Two in the division standings.

 

I think if anyone went around chanting 'We're number 2' I think some would probably chuckle and nod and say, 'Okay, if you say so ... but go over there so we don't have to smell you.'

[ashbury]

I think if anyone went around chanting 'We're number 2' I think some would probably chuckle and nod and say, 'Okay, if you say so ... but go over there so we don't have to smell you.'

Ish and ick, both.

[Squirrel]

 

Ish and ick, both.

Yep

[Halsey Hall]

It's with mixed emotions that I look at the Tigers coaching staff. I liked Joe Vavra, Steve Liddle too, not so much Anderson.  Gardy and those guys have done a good job this year, so far.  It's up to the Twins to set them back a ways. 

[wsnydes]

 

I think if anyone went around chanting 'We're number 2' I think some would probably chuckle and nod and say, 'Okay, if you say so ... but go over there so we don't have to smell you.'

It does sound a bit better than, "We're flyover country!"

[USAFChief]

 

Ish and ick, both.

To quote Popeye: "Ishk"

[woolywoolhouse]

Tonight is also Star Wars Night at Target Field! That is all I have to add.

[USAFChief]

 

Tonight is also Star Wars Night at Target Field! That is all I have to add.

Speaking of which...I'm still looking for someone to explain the Mauer/Berrios/TCBear poker commercial.

 

I don't get it. What the heck is that supposed to be telling me? 

[wsnydes]

 

Speaking of which...I'm still looking for someone to explain the Mauer/Berrios/TCBear poker commercial.

 

I don't get it. What the heck is that supposed to be telling me? 

I'd tell ya, but you'd just claim that I shot first.

[jtkoupal]

Can't say I particularly understand why we need 6 outfielders instead of an extra arm in the pen with Lance Lynn on the mound today, but let's hope Lance gives us 6 good innings and then that doesn't matter.

[Dantes929]

Pulling for Lynn.   I really want him to figure it out soon.   He has given up 29 walks and 31 runs.  Anyone else feel like about 25 of his walks have accounted for runs.    I'd have said more but I see he has given up 6 home runs so the math doesn't work out.    

[PDX Twin]

And Gordon takes LaMarre's spot in Rochester. Now our posters will have one fewer thing about which to complain.

[cmoss84]

 

Speaking of which...I'm still looking for someone to explain the Mauer/Berrios/TCBear poker commercial.

 

I don't get it. What the heck is that supposed to be telling me? 

Han Solo playing cards at the cantina. I think. 

[sampleSizeOfOne]

...

_{^{// Oh, and good pun. "Fill Hughes".}}

_{^{How droll, that pun.}}

 

Er... i mean, how'd ya roll that one?

 

To stir up some spice with the pun, consult Dr. Spooner...

 

Perhaps Phil Hughes has blown his hill fuse? Of course modern* mound-dwellers now have circuit breakers which helps them reset...

 

As the assignment process works out, i wonder what team could refuse Phil Hughes?

 

_{^{*Modern puns don't tick. They vibrate. Of course it is policy to use a direct article: "the pun". Not "your pun".}}

 

Couldn't help myself... I'm on a roll.

[sampleSizeOfOne]

Pulling for Lynn. I really want him to figure it out soon. He has given up 29 walks and 31 runs. Anyone else feel like about 25 of his walks have accounted for runs. I'd have said more but I see he has given up 6 home runs so the math doesn't work out.

Me too (pulling for Lynn, that is)

 

I kinda assume the walks perhaps contribute to homeruns as well.

 

If the curve on the outside corner is called a ball, the next one ya meed for a strike is more likely to hang up and be swatted.

 

Or you may be relegated to old reliable fastball.

[Blake]

 

Will this count towards our fall semester grade or spring?

Also how many games or game threads will be on it?

I think the quiz should be graded on the curve. This is a baseball blog, after all.

[jud6312]

Darla is Molly's nickname for Lynn

 

[jud6312]

This lineup is proof as to why LaMarre can't be on this team - Molitor can't help but insert him into the lineup.

[stringer bell]

I am glad to see Niko Goodrum get some playing time with the Tigers. He might end up with a pretty good major league career. 

[stringer bell]

I hope Lynn puts up a good start, but truthfully I expect a high scoring game. Throw strikes big man, or you'll be in Hughes spot.

[jud6312]

 

I hope Lynn puts up a good start, but truthfully I expect a high scoring game. Throw strikes big man, or you'll be in Hughes spot.

High scoring on the Tigers side or both? Because I don't see how the Twins put more than a couple up with that lineup.

[DocBauer]

About 10 years or so ago...i can't remember exactly...a gentleman I worked with, about 20 years older than me, spoke to his doctor about his memory failing him at times, or not being as sharp, the doctor explained that wasn't really the case. He told Robert...I remember his name, the guy i worked with, not tne doctor, i never met him..."Robert, you have to think of your memory as a large library. When you are younger, the shelves are more empty. So when you search for something to remember, you have fewer volumes to search through. As you get older, you have more and more books of experience to search through. It's not that your memory is worse necessarily, you just have library shelves that are more heavily stacked."

 

I may "forget" some things now and again, but the older I get, the more I remember this story.

[diehardtwinsfan]

Fan-freaking-tastic gamethread intro.