Game Thread 4/28/18 1:10 PM Twins vs Reds

[Dave The Dastardly]

Lucius Quinctius Cincinnatus

 

 

 

 

 

It’s a little known fact that Cincinnati was actually named after a Roman general, Lucius Quinctius Cincinnatus. According to legend, Cincinnatus, as he was called for long, Quint for short, had retired to his vineyard on the outskirts of Rome for a little R&R (rose˙ and roscato) with his main squeeze (get it? grapes... squeeze...wine?) and was having a foot-stomping good time when the Roman patricians, who’d run up a hell of a bill on their Visa card while living high off the hog, came calling. That’s calling as “stopping by” because Verizon hadn’t put up any cell towers on the Seven Hills yet.

 

Anyway, the plebians were raising hell back in Rome and the official Roman army, all patricians, had gotten themselves surrounded by a bunch of bill collectors while out plundering and pillaging the countryside and so far had been unable to return to Rome and suppress the riots. Since the plebians’ main grump was the cost of beer at the Coliseum, the Romans thought if Cincinnatus returned to Rome with a keg or two of his best roscato and maybe rolled a few doobies with the plebians he could get them to mellow out long enough to sign up for a new army and he could then lead them off to rescue the patricians. You know, like the little guy always has to bail out the pillagers and plunderers.

 

“Like what’s in it for me, man?” Quint asked the committee leader.

 

“How about we make you Dictator For A Day?” the committee leader proposed.

 

Quint laughed like Oddball in Kelly’s Heroes. “I dig those positive waves, man!”

 

 

So Luscious, that’s what his main squeeze called him, for reasons we don’t want to go into, loaded up a Sherman tank with his best rose’ and a roscato with an interesting but bold bouquet and went back to Rome to cut a deal with the plebians. The plebes, historically short-sighted, got wasted and sold out for free tickets to the next home game, nose-bleed seats, because you know, they were always out for blood at the Coliseum. The stoners then climbed aboard the Sherman with their new buddy Quint and drove off to rescue the patricians, who after being saved promptly raised season ticket prices at the Coliseum and reduced beer sizes to 12 ounces from the previous 16 ounces but kept the price the same so they could pay off the bill collectors, who were actually mob leg-breakers that were charging the patricians 100% vigorish... you know, because we’re talking Italy here. Capisce?

 

Quint, or Luscious if you want to call him that, tastefully of course, did his Dictator for A Day thing and declared that for now and forever his rose˙ and roscato would be the only wines sold at the Coliseum and that heretofore (gotta throw in a little lawyer talk so I don’t get sued) those wines shall be officially known as the Cincinnati Reds.

 

Vini, vidi, vice.

 

Quiz on Friday.

Throwing Grapes for Today’s Whinefest:

 

Twins: Jakeus Odorizzius   1-2   ERA 4.50   24K

 

Reds: Salacius Romano (how fitting!)   1-2   ERA 4.78   16K

 

 

Unknown at this time if the Twins have a relief pitcher remaining. Could see LaMarre take the mound later. Or earlier.

 

Might also see a few more Twins gladiators get thrown to the lions.

[Blake]

You forgot Quint's sidekick, Sheiderius.

 

Good job on the thread!

[USAFChief]

Fantastic! Thanks Dave the D!

[strumdatjaguar]

I'm bringing the Nishioka shirt out of the closet today to punish the Twins for this last week!

[Vanimal46]

BOLD prediction:

 

The Twins will win another game this season. Maybe even today!

[sampleSizeOfOne]

Pardon my ignorance...

How is Buxton doing?

 

I kinda was hoping to see everyone else look slow compared to Buxton and Hamilton...

[OTPS300]

 

Pardon my ignorance...
How is Buxton doing?

I kinda was hoping to see everyone else look slow compared to Buxton and Hamilton...

Just heard he has a fractured toe. Out indefinitely. Sano out today hamstring.

[USAFChief]

By the way, there are four May games in need of a game thread volunteer:

 

May 2, 12, 13, and 23.

 

Let’s get those games taken care of!

 

You know what to do...PM Chief and Carole.

 

We’d be ever so thankful.

[USAFChief]

Just heard he has a fractured toe. Out indefinitely. Sano out today hamstring.

I hate you.

[Puckett34]

Please win. Make this stop

[OTPS300]

 

I hate you.

I hate me too. Looking for a Rugby team to follow, any suggestions?

 

[USAFChief]

I hate me too. Looking for a Rugby team to follow, any suggestions?

something not connected to MN in any way.

[Danchat]

Reds
Sal Romano ®

1. Jesse Winker (L) RF
2. Jose Peraza ® SS
3. Joey Votto (L) 1B
4. Scooter Gennett (L) 2B
5. Eugenio Suarez ® 3B
6. Scott Schebler (L) DH
7. Adam Duvall ® LF
8. Devin Mesoraco ® C
9. Billy Hamilton (S) CF

 

 

Twins
Jake Odorizzi ®

1. Brian Dozier ® 2B
2. Joe Mauer (L) DH
3. Eddie Rosario (L) LF
4. Eduardo Escobar (S) 3B
5. Max Kepler (L) CF
6. Robbie Grossman (S) RF
7. Logan Morrison (L) 1B
8. Mitch Garver ® C
9. Ehire Adrianza (S) SS

[Mike Sixel]

Time to call up Wade.

[Danchat]

The Twins are calling up Matt Magill, so he'll get Hale's 25 man and 40 man roster spot. I never thought we'd reach this level of desperation so early in the season...

[Mike Sixel]

The Twins are calling up Matt Magill, so he'll get Hale's 25 man and 40 man roster spot. I never thought we'd reach this level of desperation so early in the season...

I assume he's old, and never been good? That's their MO. Do NOT promote young players. Meanwhile, plenty of other teams have rookies, and have called up real prospects already.

[bighat]

Buxton has a hairline fracture in his toe, looks like this DL stint could last until June. Sano also probably out a few days with a hamstring injury.

[PDX Twin]

 

Buxton has a hairline fracture in his toe, looks like this DL stint could last until June. Sano also probably out a few days with a hamstring injury.

 

Well, at least that means we won't have to watch our "future stars" strike out every time up for a while.

[Danchat]

 

I assume he's old, and never been good? That's their MO. Do NOT promote young players. Meanwhile, plenty of other teams have rookies, and have called up real prospects already.

Yeah, he's a bit younger than Hale, but he's a non-prospect.

 

They have tried some of the prospects... Alan Busenitz couldn't do much, Gabriel Moya looked overwhelmed... John Curtiss will be up sooner than later, too. 

[mrmpls]

Need Jake to go 7+ today And Sano needs to drop 30+ or im afraid his playing days r Done, what a waste of a talent, How can he not understand it ??

[Riverbrian]

I’m here at Target Field. I have come with expressed intention of stopping the losing streak with my bare hands.

[Danchat]

 

I’m here at Target Field. I have come with expressed intention of stopping the losing streak with my bare hands.

You going to run onto the field and distract the Reds or something? Maybe buy some time for a bullpen move?

[bighat]

So...does anyone really want to watch this game? Maybe if we all just close our eyes and don't pay attention, the Twins will win when we aren't looking.

[USAFChief]

I’m here at Target Field. I have come with expressed intention of stopping the losing streak with my bare hands.

You are now responsible for the outcome.

 

Good luck, we’re all counting on you.

 

//insert gif from Airplane! here//

[Nine of twelve]

Good start by Odorizzi. We need 6 or 7 similar innings out of him now.

[Mike Sixel]

Yeah, he's a bit younger than Hale, but he's a non-prospect.

 

They have tried some of the prospects... Alan Busenitz couldn't do much, Gabriel Moya looked overwhelmed... John Curtiss will be up sooner than later, too.

Did this front office add Moya and Buesnitz? Because those are the guys that seem to get called up first.

[Circus Boy]

I'm mystified how a pretty good team for the first three weeks of the season became horrible the past 10 days. We're in chicken-sacrificing territory now.

[PDX Twin]

 

Good start by Odorizzi. We need 6 or 7 similar innings out of him now.

 

Ummm ...

[USAFChief]

Good start by Odorizzi. We need 6 or 7 similar innings out of him now.

I hate you.

[Jerr]

 

 

I hate you.

Save some hate for this guy;

 

Riverbrian:  Posted Today, 01:03 PM

I’m here at Target Field. I have come with expressed intention of stopping the losing streak with my bare hands.