Struggling Twins Force Baseball Scientists to Lower Mendoza Line

[RandBalls Stu]

‘We were hoping to hold off on doing anything because we simply thought no group of players could hit this badly for this long. We thought wrong.’

Image courtesy of Unsplash/NCI

In response to the Minnesota Twins’ horrific start on offense, leading baseball scientists have been forced to lower the Mendoza Line for the first time since its creation in 1979.

“While a .200 batting average has long been considered the benchmark for offensive ineptitude, circumstances change,” said Dr. Gwendolyn Sparks. “We’re lowering that mark to .195. God help us all.”

The Twins currently sit at .193 for the season, with multiple everyday players hitting well below even that.

“This is not a decision we take lightly,” said Dr. Campbell Young. “Indeed, we were hoping to hold off on doing anything because we simply thought no team could hit this badly for this long. We thought wrong.”

The Mendoza Line is named after light-hitting journeyman infielder Mario Mendoza, who posted a .198 average over 148 games in 1979 for the Seattle Mariners.

“We bumped it up to .200 because it made sense to go with a round number,” said Dr. Young of the decision. “It never crossed our minds that someone, much less an entire team, could ever fall below that.

“Also, Mario finished his career with a .215 average. That’s 22 points north of the Twins. He shouldn’t be taking these kinds of strays, honestly.”

Sources say some baseball scientists may be looking to rectify that situation by renaming the Mendoza Line to better recognize the futility of the current Twins offense. Twins Daily received a working document from a source with knowledge of the discussions, and we’ve been given permission to share the suggestions:

• The Castro District
• Hitting the Wallner
• The Farmer’s Slaughter
• Santana, featuring Robbed Offense
• The Vasquez Vortex
• Margot Back to Triple-A
• Deadball Julien
• Minimum Kepler

“Obviously, injuries have cratered their depth, but the numbers are the numbers,” said Dr. Sparks. “No one gave Mario an asterisk for playing on a terrible Seattle team.”

“They say the hardest thing in sports is hitting a baseball,” said Dr. Young. “They never tell you how sad it makes everyone when they don’t.”

The Twins return to Target Field on Friday for a three-game series against Detroit. God help us all.

Image license here.

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[CRF]

Sometimes...the truth hurts. 

[old nurse]

The Mendoza line used to be Mendoza’s career average of .215. There really shouldn’t be a complaint about the Twins hitting the Mendoza line when there is an article touting  more Twins should be hitting like Austin Martin, a player who hasn’t hit enough in the major leagues to know if he is competent.  Almost put down the money to find out if that was the satire article. 

[mikelink45]

I am out of my depth on this one.  It hurts too much. I keep thinking of Rocco;s Rally killer line, or the launch angle line or the three true outcomes line, but it probably needs the Twins in it so maybe back to the old nickname - The Twinkie Line

[Dave The Dastardly]

I like "Hitting The Wallner" as it has a certain whiff to it. However it wouldn't be fair to hang all the blame on a near-rookie when the big buck veterans are choking at the plate like a dog eating spaghetti. I'd suggest something team-wise, like the Rocco Regression Line because as bad as team hitting is right now, it could get even worse.

[MinnInPa]

time for Rocco to start playing small ball..when 1st two hitters get on ..bunt 'em over.. dont care if its Buxton ..bunt him.. more contact philosophy with runner in scoring position. hit it to the right side.. so sick of K's with runners in scoring position ..put the ball in play ..THAT  .. is the first order of business for the KKing Twins

[saviking]

Everything that can go wrong hitting is going wrong but fear not, I predict when get back over the Mendoza line by September...

[Florida Flash]

2 hours ago, old nurse said:

The Mendoza line used to be Mendoza’s career average of .215. There really shouldn’t be a complaint about the Twins hitting the Mendoza line when there is an article touting  more Twins should be hitting like Austin Martin, a player who hasn’t hit enough in the major leagues to know if he is competent.  Almost put down the money to find out if that was the satire article. 

I assumed it was satire. Maybe not.

[DJL44]

2 hours ago, MinnInPa said:

time for Rocco to start playing small ball..when 1st two hitters get on ..bunt 'em over.. dont care if its Buxton ..bunt him..

You have more confidence than I have that these batters can successfully execute a bunt.

[joefish]

I think God is asleep at the wheel. Or looking the other way at least. What have we done to deserve this mess?

 

[bean5302]

Vazquez Vortex all day! hahaha

[gil4]

4 hours ago, Bigfork Twins Guy said:

It's similar to the cost of living adjustment (COLA) for inflation.  It can be adjusted every year based on batting averages.

Maybe we need standards for all the new metrics also (OPS, OPS+, OBP, etc.).  There are lots of player's names available for these new standards.

OPS+ has that built in (and that's part of its purpose.)  

[Dave The Dastardly]

36 minutes ago, joefish said:

I think God is asleep at the wheel. Or looking the other way at least. What have we done to deserve this mess?

 

Well, there was that one night in New Orleans....

[MinnInPa]

On 4/19/2024 at 12:42 PM, DJL44 said:

You have more confidence than I have that these batters can successfully execute a bunt.

good one!!