Guy Who Never Heard of Edouard Julien Until Last Week Pre-Furious About Triple-A Assignment

[RandBalls Stu]

“Juilliard [sic] is a generational talent, and the Twins are throwing it all away,” said the constantly indignant man.

Image courtesy of Mark J. Rebilas-USA TODAY Sports

The early talk of Minnesota Twins spring training is not the return of Kenta Maeda or the leg of Carlos Correa, but rather the blistering start from Edouard Julien. The infield prospect put a bow on the chatter by belting two home runs against Atlanta in Tuesday’s 10-7 pretend game victory.

Jason Kornhaber is already mad about it.

“Edmond [sic] is a monster talent,” said Kornhaber, who found out about Julien’s existence on Friday, February 24th, when two-time Jeopardy! also-ran Do-Hyoung Park interviewed him for MLB.com. “It’s unconscionable that this team would hold him back. Are they playing to win or playing with Edwin [sic] ’s service time?”

Julien, an 18th-round pick out of Auburn in 2019, led the minor leagues with 208 walks over the last two seasons. This is just one of the recently acquired facts that Kornhaber has marshaled in Julien’s defense despite not knowing his entire name yet.

“Juilliard [sic] is a generational talent, and the Twins are throwing it away,” said the Farmington beekeeper. Per sources close to Kornhaber, he has also said this about Kohl Stewart, Alex Burnett, Michael Restovich, Deolis Guerra, Anthony Slama, and Matt Moses. In addition, a former roommate said Kornhaber vowed to get a tattoo of MTV’s Dan Cortese on his thigh if J.D. Durbin didn’t record a 20-win season. Durbin finished his MLB career with six total wins. Kornhaber denied the story.

“He’s going to lead Team Canada to a World Baseball Classic title and come back to Fort Myers with a ticket to (home of Twins Triple-A affiliate) St. Paul,” claimed Kornhaber, who discovered Julien’s nationality on Monday.

The Twins have made no indication on their plans for Julien in 2023, but Kornhaber’s anger is already at a fever pitch not seen since his misguided advocacy for Joe Webb as the Minnesota Vikings quarterback of the future.

“I can’t believe they’re doing this to Erwin [sic],” said Kornhaber.

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[wsnydes]

This article should come with an Edourd Julien botched name variation Bingo card!

[TopGunn#22]

Hahaha !  Very nice!  Lee and a host of others to follow.  

[Cory Engelhardt]

Yeah, so this one I don't think needs the sarcasm header. :)

 

[cheeseheadgophfan]

I remember when Jason said Ryan LaMarre was the next Mike Trout after hitting .400 in spring training several years ago.......😉

[Old Crow]

It's but a short cab ride from CHS field to Target Field.

[Nine of twelve]

3 hours ago, wsnydes said:

This article should come with an Edourd Julien botched name variation Twingo card!

FTFY.

[Wizard11]

Good job disparaging the FO Kornhaber but why no mention of how Baldelli is screwing this up by pulling EJ after 3 at bats?  More genius spreadsheet management.

[ashbury]

All this indignation over a man's indignation?  That kind of thing kind of riles me up.  Almost to the point of indignation.  Almost.  Almost?  Nah, let's be honest.  I'm indignant.  I'm all in.

[CRF]

Is Kornhaber the same guy as Carl Gerbschmidt? Has anyone seen them together? 

[wsnydes]

57 minutes ago, Nine of twelve said:

FTFY.

That was a missed opportunity, wasn't it?

[Fire Dan Gladden]

I am going to join the party and voice my pre-displeasure at Edmond Juilliard being called up in July, hitting .480 with 5 HR over 8 games, and being sent down to AAA to learn how to bunt.
   

[Cris E]

"Home runs and walks are not taking what the game is giving. You need to see the new opportunities and hit through the infield, steal a base, score on a weak fly ball to right. Play smart, not analytical." - Rocco, maybe.

[wsnydes]

3 hours ago, ashbury said:

All this indignation over a man's indignation?  That kind thing kind of riles me up.  Almost to the point of indignation.  Almost.  Almost?  Nah, let's be honest.  I'm indignant.  I'm all in.

Just as long as you're committed to said indignation! 

[gman]

Sarcasm?

[ashbury]

1 hour ago, gman said:

Sarcasm?

Satire, a definition for which is kindly provided at the top of the article if you come to it from the Front Page.  Some (but sadly not all) responses here might best be viewed in the same light.  It's fun to play along.

[sampleSizeOfOne]

On 3/3/2023 at 8:16 AM, RandBalls Stu said:

Per sources close to Kornhaber, he has also said this about .... Michael Restovich

Hey!

 

Don't knock Restovich. He is a generational talent!

 

How many other players from Rochester are there?

 

Next thing you know someone'll be besmirching Darrell Thompson...

(sure, he ended up with the Packers, but he did alright by the Gophers)

[nclahammer]

Bonus points for the Matt Moses reference.