Game Thread: Twins at Rangers, 4/26@7:05pm CT

[LaBombo]

 

By a vote of 304 to 51... Congress voted to Ban the sale of lawn darts in 1988. 

 

... five years after the total damages awards for injuries in the U.S. surpassed the $1 billion mark.

[ScrapTheNickname]

 

Marketing changed it to "Wood Burning Set" after disappointing sales with its original name, "Burning Finger Smell Maker".

I don't LOL often.

[Riverbrian]

 

... five years after the total damages awards for injuries in the U.S. surpassed the $1 billion mark.

 

We needed a strong Jarts Lobby in Washington.

 

The National Jarts Association or something. 

[BoofBonser]

Nice AB... Swing through 3 fastballs right down the middle 

[LaBombo]

Fun exercise... in 30 seconds, find as many potential lawsuits as you can in the picture below...

 

 

These were off the market by the time I was old enough to have one, but thankfully my mom found one of these Darwinian reapers of young children at a garage sale, complete with refills of all the toxic chemicals, and brought it home for me. It was the perfect stepping stone to unsupervised use of a chemistry set...

 

PS. For the uninitiated (and the physically and emotionally unscarred, for that matter), this toy let you produce smelly rubber bugs using what basically amounted to a miniature steel smelter and a shrunk down Dow chemical factory.

[Blake]

 

Fun exercise... in 30 seconds, find as many potential lawsuits as you can in the picture below...

 

 

These were off the market by the time I was old enough to have one, but thankfully my mom found one of these Darwinian reapers of young children at a garage sale, complete with refills of all the toxic chemicals, and brought it home for me. It was the perfect stepping stone to unsupervised use of a chemistry set...

 

PS. For the uninitiated (and the physically and emotionally unscarred, for that matter), this toy let you produce smelly rubber bugs using what basically amounted to a miniature steel smelter and a shrunk down Dow chemical factory.

Yeah, they were pretty cool. 

[wavedog]

Bullpen gets an F tonight.

[LaBombo]

 

We needed a strong Jarts Lobby in Washington.

 

The National Jarts Association or something. 

 

I hear the suits who unsuccessfully fought for the steering wheel crank are itching for some payback...

 

[LaBombo]

 

 

Bullpen gets an F tonight.

 

Ain't over yet, 'dog. Still time for them to pull off a G or maybe even an H.

[D. Hocking]

The mine used to give old inner tubes from the big trucks to be used as trampolines.  If you look closely there is a sharp metal air nozzle that you would have pointed down at the start.  Unfortunately, the tube would sometimes flip as you were flying through the air giving you potential to land on the sharp metal point.  

 

Impaling yourself on the nozzle combined with bouncing on a curved surface and either flying off or twisting your ankle and falling in the middle (toward the nozzle), the injury rate was fairly high (I broke my arm).  Even in the less careful 70's, someone decided this was probably not a good idea, and the era of big inner tube fun came to an end.

[Danchat]

That's the Rangers' 4th steal... I'm starting to wonder about Gimenez's ability to throw out runners.

[Riverbrian]

 

The mine used to give old inner tubes from the big trucks to be used as trampolines.  If you look closely there is a sharp metal air nozzle that you would have pointed down at the start.  Unfortunately, the tube would sometimes flip as you were flying through the air giving you potential to land on the sharp metal point.  

 

Impaling yourself on the nozzle combined with bouncing on a curved surface and either flying off or twisting your ankle and falling in the middle (toward the nozzle), the injury rate was fairly high (I broke my arm).  Even in the less careful 70's, someone decided this was probably not a good idea, and the era of big inner tube fun came to an end.

 

We needed a powerful big inner tube as trampoline Lobby in Washington

[LaBombo]

Possible Onion headline:

 

"Mike Napoli's beard achieves rank of Colonel in Civil War recreationist society."

 

 

 

http://68.media.tumblr.com/290eb61a9234668709aa199a418c799d/tumblr_nobaambS3m1rm85fxo1_400.png

 

http://boston.sportsthenandnow.com/wp/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/Napoli-champ.jpg

[KirbyDome89]

Hard to believe this team actually won the first two games of this series....yeesh

 

[LaBombo]

 

Hard to believe this team actually won the first two games of this series....yeesh

 

I like to think this series represents a developing ability to concentrate their suckitude into a few incredibly bad games like this one, allowing them to be competitive in the non-suckitude majority.

[sampleSizeOfOne]

Rua?!

 

Now 11-3?

 

I get a sense we just went the wrong direction...

[KirbyDome89]

Jesus Christ....

[Blake]

Twins tonight:

 

[Riverbrian]

This would be called instant normalization of the ERA for our bullpen? 

[LaBombo]

 

Ain't over yet, 'dog. Still time for them to pull off a G or maybe even an H.

 

They're up to L and still not out of the inning.

 

Bert noting that when the inning started it was still a save situation for the Rangers, and nuclear power was still in the experimental stage.

[Taildragger8791]

Get it all out of your system in one game boys. It still only counts as one L and we'll still happily take the series win.

[Guest]

We needed a strong Jarts Lobby in Washington.

 

The National Jarts Association or something.

 

The Jarts people would have been better off claiming Jarts was something used to defend yourself instead of marketing it as a toy.

[sampleSizeOfOne]

This game has been brought to you by Beta Max.

 

And by capacitence video discs, that after 17 years of development, were effectivily obsolete by the time they went into production.

[LaBombo]

 

 

Twins tonight:

Perfect, with the possible exception that the result may not have been either white in color or firm enough to roll...

[wavedog]

Hard to remember that we were up 2-0 going to bottom of the 5th. Total bullpen failure. Hang around and see if Buxton can get another hit.

[KirbyDome89]

In fairness I expected more of these games by this point in the season....

[Blake]

 

Perfect, with the possible exception that the result may not have been either white in color or firm enough to roll...

Believe me, I thought about a big steaming pile but decided there would be other chances.

[LaBombo]

Nothing punishes fan loyalty like keeping a loooong game close through seven and then giving up a whole series' worth of runs in the 8th.

[LaBombo]

 

Believe me, I thought about a big steaming pile but decided there would be other chances.

You're right. It's probably only the mid-Triassic Period of 2017 bullpen futility. Save the heavy artillery for the Cretaceous.

[sampleSizeOfOne]

We can score 11 runs, no problem.