Game Thread: Twins at Rangers, 4/26@7:05pm CT

[diehardtwinsfan]

And…. Welcome back to the nightly game threads this is your host diehard... er... Vanimal reporting live from Corpus Christi Texas where I have hija… er… borrowed the whine line studios for your listening pleasure.   We have a top shelf baseball game on the hopper tonight where the good guys will be backed by Hector the Hero facing the goliath that is Cole Hammels.

 

sounds of papers being shuffled and drunken mumbling

 

No, not Kohl Stewart… He plays for the Twins.   I don’t think Texas would take a Cole for Kohl swap because their first names sound the same.   Good idea though Mr. Intern.

 

sounds of more shuffling and then quiet whispering

No, that’s a Beta max player.  I’m guessing Vanimal shoved that 8 track in it when he realized that it didn’t play VHS.  I doubt he’s ever seen one of those. That’s not what I want.

 

Oh BEEEEEEP.. Mic was still on…   Sorry about that folks, the intern is drunker than usual today. Back to the game thread.

We got some things to think about, let’s see what they are:

 

1. Kyle Gibson, Byron Buxton, Adalberto Mejia, and Phil Hughes.  Who wrote this crap?   These aren’t things to think about.  These are things to pray about.   But uh… wow, Van has some interesting HAWT TAEKS here.   Joe Mauer is secretly sabotaging Buxton because he wants to remain the face of the Twins.   Kyle Gibson is taking pitching advice from TC Bear.     Wait… I thought Terry Ryan no longer worked for the Twins.    Wow. 

 

2. Texas – This game thread is live from Texas.  So much to love about Texas.  From Johnny Walker to Johnny Football, they seem to love their Johnnies, and who can forget Texas Tea and Texas Toast.   sounds of muffled voices    Hey BEEEEEEEEP I know Corpus Christi isn’t Arlington.   It’s a spoof, one that’s supposed to be funny.  You’re drunk… muffled voice   no, she isn’t cute. It’s a city.  more sounds and whispering    not it.. closer though…. Hmm… negativity police… interesting guy.   So Van has been keeping him locked up I see… but not what I’m looking for.   Keep searching.

 

3. Texas Barbeque – For all you animal lovers in the audience, there isn’t much better than eating smoked meats in the South; and Texas is known for its barbeque.   Whether you decide to check out or one of the 50 best joints in the world, which coincidentally are all in Texas, or you decide to head to Hard Eight after the game, you will not leave disappointed... and if you leave hungry, you’re clearly not an American.   Oh, but watch it at Hard Eight.   Rumor has it that they let Presidents of the United States cut in line.

 

4. History – well today in history we saw the nuclear explosion in Chernobyl, the Nazis tested the Luftwaffe, Regan went to China, John Wilkes Booth died, and Arnold Schwarzenegger married Maria Shriver… well if that doesn’t foreshadow the upcoming second Korean War, I don’t know what will.

 

5. The Alamo –  muffled voice    No… not the rental car company.   It’s where some guy with a racoon hat made a stand against a bunch of illegal immigrants… or least that’s how I hear the story today.

 

And that concludes our things to think about about. 

 

Muffled whispering  2015 moderatorga..  yeah, that’s it.  Good job intern.

 

more noises

 

Someone’s coming.   Keep the bottle, gotta run. 

 

sounds of footsteps and doors slamming

[Vanimal46]

We have an imposter! Or wait.... The intern hasn't been returning my calls, and I'm no longer seeing him at Target playing MLB the Show. Did you offer the intern money to work with you?!

[Vanimal46]

Also, Franklin BBQ is the #1 BBQ joint with a bullet.... It's the kind of place where people wait in line beginning at 7 AM to get a spot for lunch. Only had the pleasure of eating it one time, and the brisket is melt in your mouth good... 

Styles Switch is a close 2nd on the list. 

[Twinsbar107]

Nice work!

[diehardtwinsfan]

The intern likes his Minnesota Moonshine.

[Mike Sixel]

Nicely done......though there's nothing like the original, it's a nice copy....

[sampleSizeOfOne]

So this fellow living the good life on a south Pacific isle in a little native hut devoloped a taste for large furnishings, chairs in particular, comfortable enough for royalty to sit on while watchin the game. But it being a small hut, after the 3rd or 4th he had to pick and choose, and stash the remaining furniture in the little attic under the thatched roof.

 

Well after the 9th or 10th impulse bargon beach recliner, that attic was getting packed, and the poor walls couldn't take it any more, and as he was cramming one more in, there was a terrific sigh and shutter as the whole structure collapsed, leaving a pile of hay and household goods like needles, reminiscent of what the big bad wolf once left behind.

 

Anyway, i'm only telling this for your benefit. And so it doesn't take 20 pages for a Chieflike joke to surface...

 

People in grass houses shouldn't stow throwns.

 

You're right. One can easily distinguish imitations from the genuine article.

 

Here's to the Moon shining on Minnesota and a fine game of baseball!

 

And of course high Proof reading.

[zenser]

I think I want some BBQ now.

[Mike Sixel]

 

I think I want some BBQ now.

 

Great dive about 4 blocks from my new place, come on by...

[Vanimal46]

 

I think I want some BBQ now.

 

Nothing better than this... 

http://andrewzimmern.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/Franklin-BBQ2.jpg

[diehardtwinsfan]

 

Nothing better than this... 

http://andrewzimmern.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/Franklin-BBQ2.jpg

 

That reminds me of a place in DC that I've visited.  Hill Country.

[Mike Sixel]

 

Nothing better than this... 

http://andrewzimmern.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/Franklin-BBQ2.jpg

 

so hungry, and stuck in a meeting.....

[diehardtwinsfan]

so here's a question for the millennials...  any of you know what a beta max player is?

[Vanimal46]

 

so hungry, and stuck in a meeting.....

 

How long can you watch this video before your stomach starts growling?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fdpxoCqyq5Y

[Vanimal46]

 

so here's a question for the millennials...  any of you know what a beta max player is?

 

Not a clue. 

[Riverbrian]

For Brisket... Texas is the spot.

 

However... When I consider all the styles I've tried. I tend to head toward Carolina and that Vinegar based taste. 

[Pitz]

Millenials don't know anything. That's what google is for.

[Joe A. Preusser]

My very pregnant wife complained this morning about me tracking mud into the house. She did not find it amusing when I told that normally I'd be glad to sweep it up, but today the Twins were borrowing my broom.

[Twinsbar107]

 

so here's a question for the millennials...  any of you know what a beta max player is?

I feel like I've heard the term before, but can't place it. So, going to have to say no.

[Mike Sixel]

Really? wow. I mean, not surprised I guess.....

[Craig Arko]

Meh. How many here listened to a Twins broadcast on WCCO radio using a crystal radio that you built yourself?

[Loosey]

 

so here's a question for the millennials...  any of you know what a beta max player is?

Is it's the VCR's version of Laser Disk?

[GP830]

 

so here's a question for the millennials...  any of you know what a beta max player is?

Yeah, it was was early alternative to the VHS. They were of higher quality but more expensive and less accessible than VHS. A fun fact though-- the last company to manufacturer Beta Max players only halted production within the last few years, believe it or not. 

 

http://www.digitaltrends.com/home-theater/last-vhs-manufacture-funai-to-halt-production/

 

[Mike Sixel]

 

Yeah, it was was early alternative to the VHS. They were of higher quality but more expensive and less accessible than VHS. A fun fact though-- the last company to manufacturer Beta Max players only halted production within the last few years, believe it or not. 

 

http://www.digitaltrends.com/home-theater/last-vhs-manufacture-funai-to-halt-production/

 

you realize you just ruined the experiment, right?

[GP830]

 

you realize you just ruined the experiment, right?

I guess I didn't realize it was an experiment. Stupid millenial...

[Vanimal46]

I guess I didn't realize it was an experiment. Stupid millenial...

 

We're always the test subject... Since, you know, we're so fascinating as a generation. 

 

Where the hell is my participation trophy?!

[Mike Sixel]

 

We're always the test subject... Since, you know, we're so fascinating as a generation. 

Where the hell is my participation trophy?!

 

I have it, let me know where you want it stuck...er, sent.

[Blake]

 

We have an imposter! Or wait.... The intern hasn't been returning my calls, and I'm no longer seeing him at Target playing MLB the Show. Did you offer the intern money to work with you?!

I'm guessing no more TJ Swan. (you do know TJ Swan is no longer on the market and those bottles from the local dollar store probably haven't aged, well, right?) Probably being paid with Colt 45 Malt Liquor fresh from the AMPM.

[Blake]

 

We're always the test subject... Since, you know, we're so fascinating as a generation. 

Where the hell is my participation trophy?!

On the wall next to the participation plaque.

[Blake]

 

Meh. How many here listened to a Twins broadcast on WCCO radio using a crystal radio that you built yourself?

Yeah, well, how many here have thought they listened to a Twins Broadcast on WCCO while on crystal meth?