Article: Game Thread: Twins v Red Sox, 6/10 @ 7:10pm CT

[Riverbrian]

The 1st round of the draft was held last night and the Twins stuck in their thumb and pulled out a player from Plum High School and said what a good boy am I.

Alex Kirilloff was his name and the people who try to follow such things say he is another toolsy OF with power, speed, contact, arm strength and an ability to open his glove and close it at the correct times.

It's like walking into that bar with all those draft choices and the bartender is staring at you waiting for you to decide what lever you want him to pull down.

I won’t pretend to know if the Twins have chosen well or not because I made the decision to not drive the Dodge Dart to Pittsburgh to see him play for myself. But if I did… it would be hard for me to compare him against the other draft beer choices… I have no way of knowing.

If I was given the choice… I wanted Dakota Hudson… I haven’t see him play, either, but I wanted him because Dakota and Hudson sound like Twins Territory names. That’s my method and I’m sticking with it. Last year I wanted a guy named Hibbing Mahnomen and that just didn’t happen.

The Red Sox come to Town this weekend… Kirilloff will not be in uniform… gonna have to wait a bit for his MLB debut.

Until then... here are some things to think about:

 

1. Draft Beer – Beer out of the keg is draft beer. Miller Genuine Draft is served in bottles and they call it Genuine Draft because it’s supposed to taste like it’s out of the keg. That’s Wisconsin for ya… only that state is drunk enough to call that 'genuine.' It just doesn’t seem like a genuine Genuine to me.


2. Draft Horse – A draft horse is a horse that pulls stuff. If it didn’t pull stuff it would be called a “horse that doesn’t pull stuff”. Draft horses are larger and stronger than a horse that doesn’t pull stuff but still smaller than Earl Campbell. A draft horse has never won the Kentucky Derby and they are insulted when the race track patrons yell out “Unhook the Plow” when they lag behind in a race.


3. Conscription – There have been moments in our history that our young men have been drafted into military service. Currently… there is no draft but young men are asked to register with the Selective Service a month before reaching their 18th birthday. This acts like a jack in the box because the draft can pop out rather quickly. As long as nobody turns that handle which produces the song “All around the mulberry bush... the monkey chased the weasel… the monkey thought twas all in fun..."

Yes I realize that that song is stuck in your head now.

"'Pop!' goes the weasel!"

4. The Overdraft – Our credit score is up around 8 million or something so I’ve never felt the pain of an overdraft. I do remember the disappointment a friend of mine had when he got an overdraft notice. I stopped by his place… and he was holding the notice in his hand and he said… “I don’t know what to do… that was all the money I had and I’m overdrawn by $20 according to this… My net worth is negative 20 dollars." I had his fridge open as he was speaking so I could take his last beer and I told him that he was worth more than that because this jar of olives and the half pack of bologna in his fridge was worth maybe a couple of bucks.

5. The 1st Draft – If you’ve ever wondered how these Game Thread openings get so strange... it’s simple… I don’t allow a 2nd draft. That way I have no chance to come to my senses. But I have an editor. She tries to make sense of it all so you can, too. I said, she tries.
____________________

Lineups:

RED SOX
Mookie Betts [R] RF
Dustin Pedroia [R] 2B
Xander Bogaerts [R] SS
David Ortiz (L) DH
Hanley Ramirez [R] 1B
Jackie Bradley (L) CF
Travis Shaw (L) 3B
Chris Young [R] LF
Christian Vazquez [R] C

Steven Wright [R] P

TWINS
Eduardo Nunez [R] SS
Robbie Grossman (S) LF
Joe Mauer (L) DH
Trevor Plouffe [R] 3B
Brian Dozier [R] 2B
Byung-ho Park [R] 1B
Max Kepler (L) RF
Kurt Suzuki [R] C
Byron Buxton [R] CF

Tyler Duffey [R] P

Game-time forecast: 89 deg F, 46% chance of rain/thunderstorms, (although another source says it will be clear at gametime), winds at 9mph from the SW. Just for perspective, it's about 20 deg higher currently in Minneapolis than it is in Fort Myers. Hmm.

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[Craig Arko]

Now substitute draught in for draft everywhere. Doesn't it just seem better?

[Blake]

RB, you should write a book, "A Thousand and One Weird Ideas for a Baseball Thread."

 

Oh wait, the book is slowly being compiled on TD.

 

Excellent job with the thread.

 

Miller beer isn't genuine anything, unless genuinely bad counts for something.

[Winston Smith]

The amazing thing is Brian's brain wrote this at 7 in the morning.

 

[Vanimal46]

Hopefully it's been a few years for all of us without getting an overdraft notice. I learned my lesson years ago while I was in college about overdrafting... Summer of 2009, just finished my freshman year of college, and no company in my hometown were hiring kids for summer jobs. I've never been more broke in my life than that summer. 

Fortunately one of my neighbor's who owns a farm hired me on to help bail hay. It was hard work, not a lot of pay, but it gave me some walking around money!

[HitInAPinch]

Best selling beer in Wisconsin is Bud Light.  And it is in many states.  So in other words, there aren't any real beer drinkers out there anymore...

[diehardtwinsfan]

I've yet to find a beer that I like.

[diehardtwinsfan]

 

1. Draft Beer – Beer out of the keg is draft beer. Miller Genuine Draft is served in bottles and they call it Genuine Draft because it’s supposed to taste like it’s out of the keg. That’s Wisconsin for ya… only that state is drunk enough to call that Genuine. It just doesn’t seem like a Genuine Genuine to me.

 

 

You're asking a state full of Packer fans to actually do something sensible.  I'm pretty sure when Milwaukee is in town, you could do a Wisconsin themed game thread and come up with lots of gems.

[Blake]

"Well ya see, Norm, it’s like this… A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That’s why you always feel smarter after a few beers."

- Cliff Clavin, of Cheers

[Blake]

 

I've yet to find a beer that I like.

If at first you don't succeed....

[twinsnorth49]

 

I've yet to find a beer that I like.

You're doing it wrong.

[Blake]

 

You're doing it wrong.

twinsnorth: Beer Coach, esq.

[twinsnorth49]

I don't remember a better time to be a beer drinker, the rise in popularity in craft brews have made beer drinking more enjoyable and more accessible than ever before.

 

Make no mistake the large brewers are taking notice, craft beers have enjoyed double digit increases in sales and production for 8 consecutive years and have increased their share of the market from 5% to 12% in only 4 short years.

 

I'm stunned by the amazing selection of premium beer available at my local beer store each time I go there. 

[Bark's Lounge]

 

I don't remember a better time to be a beer drinker, the rise in popularity in craft brews have made beer drinking more enjoyable and more accessible than ever before.

 

Make no mistake the large brewers are taking notice, craft beers have enjoyed double digit increases in sales and production for 8 consecutive years and have increased their share of the market from 5% to 12% in only 4 short years.

 

I'm stunned by the amazing selection of premium beer available at my local beer store each time I go there. 

I agree. We are living in the golden age of quality beer. If you cannot find a beer you like, you probably don't like beer.

[Blake]

 

I don't remember a better time to be a beer drinker, the rise in popularity in craft brews have made beer drinking more enjoyable and more accessible than ever before.

 

Make no mistake the large brewers are taking notice, craft beers have enjoyed double digit increases in sales and production for 8 consecutive years and have increased their share of the market from 5% to 12% in only 4 short years.

 

I'm stunned by the amazing selection of premium beer available at my local beer store each time I go there. 

On a recent trip through the Midwest, we were just outside of Omaha and used FourSquare to find a place to eat. 

 

Found an outstanding Steakhouse and Brew pub and had a very nice Porter that was brewed in house.

[Mike Sixel]

Best beer years ever. So many choices.

[diehardtwinsfan]

I just never acquired a taste for it... not from lack of trying.  I like my wines though. 

[Pardon My Dinger]

 

I agree. We are living in the golden age of quality beer. If you cannot find a beer you like, you probably don't like beer.

I guess I just like the idea of beer. 

[Blake]

 

I guess I just like the idea of beer. 

Well,  I like the idea of cars, but the Yugo was a bad idea.

[Pardon My Dinger]

 

Well,  I like the idea of cars, but the Yugo was a bad idea.

My apologies. When I wrote that I was drunk on whiskey...and beer. 

[Winston Smith]

"Well ya see, Norm, it’s like this… A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That’s why you always feel smarter after a few beers."

- Cliff Clavin, of Cheers

Profound, the work of a genius.

[ashbury]

I've yet to find a beer that I like.

Then keep sippin' that Chardonnay, my friend, and enjoy what a few pounds of oak chips scattered into the barrel can do.

[ashbury]

My apologies. When I wrote that I was drunk on whiskey...and beer. 

That reminds me of my Economics professor's evaluation of Elephant-Rabbit Stew. It tastes mostly like elephant.

[gocgo]

 

Best selling beer in Wisconsin is Bud Light.  And it is in many states.  So in other words, there aren't any real beer drinkers out there anymore...

No Bud, no Miller, no Hamn's in my fridge...only my lady friend Stella.

[gocgo]

Speaking of beer.  Anyone ever had a Shoffenhofer?  Grapefruit beer!  I'm not big on ruining beer with fruit, but it is really refreshing on a hot day.

[akmanak]

I have a feeling I will need a case of beer to make it through this game.

[Squirrel]

No love for ciders?

[jimmer]

 

No love for ciders?

I've pretty much stopped drinking beer in favor of ciders.

[diehardtwinsfan]

 

Then keep sippin' that Chardonnay, my friend, and enjoy what a few pounds of oak chips scattered into the barrel can do.

 

More into reds than whites.  Whites are too sweet.

[diehardtwinsfan]

 

No love for ciders?

 

I do like Cider, but that isn't beer in my opinion.