Barry Bonds to the Twins?

[Ultima Ratio]

So long as Bonds shares his HGH with Mauer, I'm all for it.

[DaveW]

Only if they bring in Ricky Henderson and Mark Derosa as well.

[Platoon]

You gotta love a writer with PRINCIPLES!Whether he lets his principles interfere with his writing is irrelevant!

I did have trouble with that type of interference. I was writing something about Suzy in the boys room in Jr. High and the principal did interfere with my writing.

[formerly33]

TC Bear retired, and St. Peter recruited the Olsen Twins to replace him and represent the new team.

 

 

Don't get mad at me for posting forbidden content; I checked with ChiTown first, and she gave me her express written consent to do it just this once.

[Hrbowski]

 

TC Bear retired, and St. Peter recruited the Olsen Twins to replace him and represent the new team.

 

New OT.jpg

 

Don't get mad at me for posting forbidden content; I checked with ChiTown first, and she gave me her express written consent to do it just this once.

Ish.

[prouster]

I really like this idea. Cryogenics seems like it could be the next market inefficiency. How good could we be if we were able to sign any player, living or dead? If you think about it, the last time we won the world series was in 1991. THerefore, you don't even need to wait for a player to die for them to be good, because most of those guys are still around. In fact, you could get through contract negotiations while they're still alive, because you wouldn't want it to interfere with the reanimation process. Can you imagine signing a guy like Gary Gaetti to a 75 year contract to man the hot corner? With that in mind, here is my ideal opening day roster for 2016:

 

Ricky Henderson LF

Joe Morgan 2B

Chris Davis DH

Sano 1B

Ripken 3B

Honus Wagner SS

Arcia RF

Hicks CF

Mauer C (where he SHOULD have been playing all along because his bat actually plays here)

 

Nunez

Buxton (if he ever learns how to hit because I don't think he even knows how to hold a baseball bat)

Pierzinski

Morneau who adds value for sentimental reasons

 

Berrios

Duffey

Bob Feller

Walter Johnson

Gibson

 

Rollie Fingers

Dennis Eckersley

Mariano Rivera

Perkins

Pressley

Wade Davis (trade Plouffe for him)

Burdi

 

This lineup likely wouldn't produce at peak value for another 30-50 years, but that's okay because you're window for competing is literally infinite when you aren't bound by the laws of life and death. Of course, Terry Ryan is Terry Ryan and would probably dumpster dive for the Jeff Reboulets and Ron Karkavices of the world. TYPICAL.

[Thrylos]

 

 

Berrios

Duffey

Bob Feller

Walter Johnson

Gibson

 

Bob.  Gibson; correct?

[prouster]

 

Bob.  Gibson; correct?

 

Sorry I should have clarified. It's Jerry Gibson, a guy who used to live down the street from me and let me throw a tennis ball against the side of his garage while he raked leaves. He would join me sometimes and could really sling some pepper. I think he's around 93 years old now, but cryogenics makes that irrelevant. I think guys who lived down the street from me when I was a kid are another market inefficiency that Terry Ryan is too for-profit, against-winning to even consider.

[Thrylos]

 

. I think guys who lived down the street from me when I was a kid are another market inefficiency that Terry Ryan is too for-profit, against-winning to even consider.

 

How many dumpsters down the street from you?

[prouster]

 

How many dumpsters down the street from you?

 

Trigger Warning Off Topic: Three, but I'd call them more "cans" than "dumpsters."

[Craig Arko]

Trigger Warning Off Topic: Three, but I'd call them more "cans" than "dumpsters."

Is Prince Albert in there?

[D. Hocking]

If I did not know any better - I would swear I was reading a typical game thread, except this might be a little more logical, coherent, and baseball minded.

[Monkeypaws]

I'd rather bring back Thome.

[h2oface]

 

The team is looking for another Official Veteran Mentor, right?

 

He could teach the boys how to roid up and not get officially caught? I hope Bonds stays away from all aspects of the game now. Coaching included. Is his head still growing?

[Wookiee of the Year]

Instead of moving Mauer to catcher to make room for Sano in the infield while still holding onto Plouffe, perhaps the front office would consider moving Plouffe to catcher? His bat would play there, too.

[spinowner]

 

Instead of moving Mauer to catcher to make room for Sano in the infield while still holding onto Plouffe, perhaps the front office would consider moving Plouffe to catcher? His bat would play there, too.

I think we should move Kyle Gibson to catcher. He has a strong arm and I bet nobody would try to run on him. That also would make room in the rotation for Berrios.

[old nurse]

Nolasco to catcher!

[ashbury]

Nolasco to catcher!

I bet his CERA would be 6.00 or worse. Which admittedly would be an improvement over his 2015 ERA.

 

_{^{/ "his ERA was 2015? With, or without, a decimal point?"}}

[sane]

Nolasco to catcher!

Face-mask optional.

[Boom Boom]

My guess is that Bonds is on the Twins' short list behind Rondell White, Matthew LeCroy and Butch Huskey, unless there's a local Bonds connection I'm unaware of.

[Hrbowski]

 

I think we should move Kyle Gibson to catcher. He has a strong arm and I bet nobody would try to run on him. That also would make room in the rotation for Berrios.

Gibson is too big to catch. How about Berrios at catcher?

[sane]

Gibson is too big to catch. How about Berrios at catcher?

Gibson is 6'6" 215#

Matt Wieters (Orioles catcher) is 6'5" 230#

[bird]

 

Its a little known fact that Ryan had a chance to acquire Williams, but refused to part with Julio Becqueur? (Sp) Ryan was said to be skeptical of the 5/$375,000 cost that Williams represented. Ryan, a well known stats geek, also felt it unlikely that Williams would be able to maintain his high BABIP as strictly a pull hitter. Ryan was quoted as saying "until he learns to take the pitch the other way, it's doubtful he will continue to succeed, pitchers in this league know how to adjust"

 

 

Ryan also wasn't keen on his makeup.

[USAFChief]

Ryan also wasn't keen on his makeup.

I remember the quote..."Too much eye shadow. This is Minnesota ferpetesakes.."

[ashbury]

Gibson is too big to catch.

Depends on how far you drop him.

[h2oface]

 

I remember the quote..."Too much eye shadow. This is Minnesota ferpetesakes.."

 Minnesota........ the state that elected Jesse Ventura governor. After that.... eye shadow seems tame.

[Platoon]

" The Body" was ok, but some of his appointments? Uff Da!

 

"Da Crusher" Highway Commisioner.

"Mad Dog Vachon" Head of Health and Human Services.

"Baron Von Raschke" Education Commisioner

"Sgt. Slaughter" Commisioner of Public Safety.

 

Normally this level of administration would have rendered any state inferior to its neighbors. But a quick look at the Atlas will show that to be almost an impossibility!

[ashbury]

How about Berrios at catcher?

Too small - he'd wear down. Also, he wouldn't have the proper downward plane on his tosses back to the pitcher.

 

Get Aaron Slegers behind the plate and up to the majors, pronto!

 

[Vanimal46]

Let's see if this Twitter link works: 

Bloody hell. Here's the link to a guy on Twitter who taped Bonds in a batting cage. 

 

Barry Bonds is 52 and still cranking out bombs in batting practice. The veteran-ness of Bonds makes Falvine giddy inside. 

 

[drjim]

Would he be better than Park and/or Vargas this year? I say 50/50.