Chronic Overreactor Feeling Good About 162-0

[RandBalls Stu]

“This is the best baseball team America, and the world, has ever seen,” said the foolish man.

Image courtesy of Jay Biggerstaff-USA TODAY Sports

A taut, well-played road win can make any baseball fan feel good about their team. For Twins fan and chronic overreactor Shane Holman, it made him feel bulletproof.

“162-0. Mark it,” said the 51-year-old idiot.

Holman, who vowed to never watch another Twins game when the 1991 team started 2-9, claims he’s not overestimating a small sample size.

“This team is special. Pitchers picked up the offense today. Hitters will pick them up next time. Let’s play,” said the starry-eyed dope, who works as a healthcare administrator in Eden Prairie.

The Twins won Thursday’s opener 2-0 over Kansas City. They play again on Saturday.

“This is the best baseball team America, and the world, has ever seen,” said the foolish man. “If I could fly to Las Vegas tonight I’d bet the farm on a title.” Holman does not own a farm, and his wife Katherine would oppose any such financial risk, per multiple sources close to the marriage.

Holman was asked if he’d be similarly distraught if the Twins had been on the losing end of Thursday’s tilt.

“I like to think I’m a little more level-headed than that,” said Holman, who has punched a hole in the basement drywall after the last seven Twins opening game losses. “We’ve got a good thing going here, and I know I’m not the only one who thinks so.”

With an entire day before game two on Saturday, Holman says the extra 24 hours won’t cause him to reassess his unreasonable, childlike stance.

“Undefeated. Repeat after me: U-N-D-E-F-E-A-T-E-D,” said the beautiful clown. “Today it’s Kansas City. Tomorrow it’s the world. The Yankees? Trash. Houston. Double trash. The Dodgers? Garbage trash. Sucks to suck. Go Twins.”

View full article

[silverslugger]

Shane Holman took the words right out of my mouth.  It's like he's living in my brain or something???!

[wsnydes]

If I didn't know the names of the people sitting in my basement with me during yesterday's game, I'd swear that Stu was a fly on the wall listening to the insanity I had to endure!🤣

[Richie the Rally Goat]

162 and OH!

[LastOnePicked]

Us chronic overreactors don't usually get these kinds of ups with the Twins, so let us savor it until Saturday please. Because right now, I fail to see how our dear Mr. Holman is even just a bit wrong. If anything, he's underselling it. They may not give up a run all year.

[Dave The Dastardly]

I'd like to meet Katherine. Sounds like she should be up for sainthood.

[Fire Dan Gladden]

There is a story I believe is attributed to Leo  Durocher.  It goes something like this:

Before the first game of the season, a reporter asked Durocher about the prospects of the Dodgers for the season.  Durocher replied "Miserable.  Last night I had a dream we went 0-154."  The Dodgers went on to win their opening game.

The following day, the same reporter followed up with Durocher: "Well, you won your first game.  What do you think about your prospects now?"  Durocher replied "Still terrible.  Last night I dreamt we went 1-153."

[ashbury]

Duran walked a guy in the ninth yesterday.  The wheels are starting to come off.  Shane better get ready for disappointment.

[Minny505]

"Sucks to suck" is such a great line😂 Right up there with "Like the things you like" and "Dopest dope you've ever smoked".

[Huskertwin]

Holman should read last weeks interview with The Injury Gods. I hear the Gods are licking their chops after reading this article. 

[Melissa]

Hmmm … there was a kid named Holman I knew in college … didn’t know he was a baseball fan!

[Brandon]

Not only are we going 162-0 we are not giving up a run all season.  

 

[ashbury]

Now after two wins, shouldn't it be 324-0?

[pierre75275]

Holman's dream lives on... however temporarily.