Barry Bonds to the Twins?

[BrianTrottier]

Now, I'm not saying this is something that the Twins will do, but I think it's something they should consider. Think about it. He never officially retired, the last season he played he put up an OPS. of 1.045, and with the collusion and perjury obstacles behind him he's free to focus on hitting. Maybe he could fill a void in RF, but I think we should sign him as a DH, move Mauer to catcher so Plouffe can stick at third (he's got value their), and have Sano play 1b since that's where he profiles. Thoughts?

[spinowner]

This is a great tongue-in-cheek post! (I hope.)

[Dantes929]

Again?   Mauer will never catch again.  Get over it.   51 years old.  How about Pete Rose?

[D. Hocking]

Mauer can also restructure his contract to help make this happen.  The one negative is when Mauer goes back to catching, the chances of resigning AJ go down.  Bonds could also fill that veteran presence and be a positive presence to the younger players.  He can be a good place holder until Cuddy's contract with the Mets expires and we can get him in free agency.

[Old Twins Cap]

Wow, Halloween the new April's fools.  I gotta look in my closet, I think I got a Barry Bonds mask. Big and square, with small testicles.

[spinowner]

 

...with small testicles.

Well, now you understand how it came to pass that Rafael Palmiero became a spokesman for Viagra.

[sane]

 

Bonds could also fill that veteran presence and be a positive presence to the younger players. 

Plus, Bonds could be the younger players' source for PED's, their Chemistry teacher, their "Beat-The-Detection System" Instructor and their Public Defender. Unless he works for MLB as a snitch.

[mickeymental]

i heard that ted williams's brain might be available. just imagine sano hitting between williams and bonds!

[Hosken Bombo Disco]

Dozier

Mauer

Williams

Sano

Bonds

Rosario

Hicks/Buxton

D. Santana

Drew Butera

 

I don't know. The bottom of the order looks potentially weak.

[USAFChief]

Before we get too far down this road, anybody know Bonds' stance on SSM?

[Platoon]

Don't you have to be a former Twin originally? Bonds does not pass that litmus test. On the other hand, I cannot think of one good reason Killebrew, Allison, Versailles, or Kirby could not return. Zoilo could replace EE, and drive some TD'ers to distraction. Allison could take over in RF and use his Cocal Cola acquired corporate skills to mentor, Kirby would finally resolve our CF defensive issues leaving Buxton to accumulate several years of valuable AAA time, and Harmon could join the rotation with Mauer, Plouffe, and Sano at DH, 1B, and 3B. This would allow a day of rest every 4th day. The problem with Mauer going back behind the plate, it would block Earl Battey!

[sane]

 

i heard that ted williams's brain might be available. just imagine sano hitting between williams and bonds!

If Ted Williams brain is still functional, I'd bet he would rather go fishing.

[big dog]

 

Plus, Bonds could be the younger players' source for PED's, their Chemistry teacher, their "Beat-The-Detection System" Instructor and their Public Defender. Unless he works for MLB as a snitch.

The team is looking for another Official Veteran Mentor, right?

[TheLeviathan]

With this thread the offseason is officially underway.

[twinsnorth49]

I'm part curious as to where this thread is headed and part very afraid.

[Sano Doubter]

Possibly as a coach but not as a player, and I don't think that the Twins need a new coach.

[bird]

 

I'm part curious as to where this thread is headed and part very afraid.

 

 

Never fear, it'll eventually become a discussion of Terry Ryan's 17 years of futility.

[Squirrel]

I'm part curious as to where this thread is headed and part very afraid.

Curiosity killed the cat. And ignorance is bliss. That's all I've got.

[Dantes929]

As long as we are making these kinds of propositions how about this.    Gardy was manager of the year in 2010 and was then the worst manager ever for the next 4 years.   Molitor was manager of the year in 2015.  Obviously he needs to be replaced now before it is too late.

[Craig Arko]

I understand there is a proposal to transplant Ted

i heard that ted williams's brain might be available. just imagine sano hitting between williams and bonds!

I think there is a proposal to graft Ted Williams' head onto Torii Hunter's body.

 

Hey, it worked out well for Ray Milland and Rosey Grier, didn't it?

[old nurse]

Player development through cloning is a possibility

[Platoon]

I'm part curious as to where this thread is headed and part very afraid.

........be afraid, very very afraid! But in reality, seriously, what could could wrong?

[Platoon]

I understand there is a proposal to transplant TedI think there is a proposal to graft Ted Williams' head onto Torii Hunter's body.

Hey, it worked out well for Ray Milland and Rosey Grier, didn't it?image.png

Wouldn't you still end up with a very low UZR? Or whatever that thingy is called?

[Platoon]

Never fear, it'll eventually become a discussion of Terry Ryan's 17 years of futility.

Its a little known fact that Ryan had a chance to acquire Williams, but refused to part with Julio Becqueur? (Sp) Ryan was said to be skeptical of the 5/$375,000 cost that Williams represented. Ryan, a well known stats geek, also felt it unlikely that Williams would be able to maintain his high BABIP as strictly a pull hitter. Ryan was quoted as saying "until he learns to take the pitch the other way, it's doubtful he will continue to succeed, pitchers in this league know how to adjust"

[sane]

 

Its a little known fact that Ryan had a chance to acquire Williams, but refused to part with Julio Becqueur? (Sp) Ryan was said to be skeptical of the 5/$375,000 cost that Williams represented. Ryan, a well known stats geek, also felt it unlikely that Williams would be able to maintain his high BABIP as strictly a pull hitter. Ryan was quoted as saying "until he learns to take the pitch the other way, it's doubtful he will continue to succeed, pitchers in this league know how to adjust"

Except for the fact that Becquer and Williams were 20 years too old to play baseball when Ryan was hired, that was a good story. It COULD have been true had it not been historically impossible.

[sane]

Actually, if Hillary Clinton had told that story, I would have believed HER.

[Platoon]

Except for the fact that Becquer and Williams were 20 years too old to play baseball when Ryan was hired, that was a good story. It COULD have been true had it not been historically impossible.

Let it be known that I will never let historical facts get in the way of a good story! Our country was founded on that very principle! . It all started with a little boy and a cherry tree! And the rest is history. Or is it?

[sane]

Let it be known that I will never let historical facts get in the way of a good story!

You gotta love a writer with PRINCIPLES!

Whether he lets his principles interfere with his writing is irrelevant!

[Thrylos]

 

Dozier
Mauer
Williams
Sano
Bonds
Rosario
Hicks/Buxton
D. Santana
Drew Butera

I don't know. The bottom of the order looks potentially weak.

 

 

Ted Williams?   The headless horseman

[DocBauer]

 

Ted Williams?   The headless horseman

No.....the horseless headsman!