Twins Think Derek Shelton Can Bring Some of That Pittsburgh Pirates Magic to Minnesota

[RandBalls Stu]

Image courtesy of Flickr/Chris Rycroft

“Familiarity” was the buzzword as the Minnesota Twins narrowed the search for their next manager—not just with the team itself, but with the philosophy that ownership operates under.

“Derek Shelton not only has experience with the team, but he also has experience with a team that’s completely starved for resources and a fan base that alternates between alienated and apathetic,” said a front office source. “He just gets it.”

Shelton, Minnesota’s former bench coach and Pittsburgh’s manager from 2020-2025, will be the team’s next manager, they confirmed in a Thursday press release.

“We don’t currently have what some of the advanced stat guys call ‘a bullpen,’” said the source. “Some of these new-school managers might demand we make some moves and improve our roster, at the expense of profitability. Shelton’s been beaten down for years. He knows better than to even ask.”

Minnesota, which has drastically trimmed payroll since defeating current World Series favorite Toronto in the 2023 American League playoffs, is coming off a season wherein they also parted with 40% of their active roster at the trade deadline. Rumors abound that core starting pitchers Pablo López and Joe Ryan will be next to go, further reducing the team’s financial commitments.

“If we part with López and/or Ryan, there will no doubt be some negative nellies who come to Target Field just to yell ‘Sell the Team’ at us,” said the source. “Shelton has been hearing that for years now. He won’t even flinch; he’ll just keep an unproven starter out there for another three innings of hot slop before bringing in a reliever who’s even worse. This is a man who understands the assignment.

“We’re excited about the emotional and professional calluses he’s developed to withstand a total lack of spending and wobbly infrastructure.”

While the source refused to speculate on any scenario where the Twins would spend money on improving the on-field product, he did allow that if the corporate real estate market turned around, a lumbering corner outfielder with a bad arm could be in play—if the price is right.

“People say the two sweetest words in baseball are ‘Opening Day,’ but the seven sweetest are ‘minimum salary and an extensive injury history.’ It rolls off the tongue.”

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[Reptevia]

Thank you for this accurate reporting. 

[LewFordLives]

Thanks Stu! I was having a rough couple of days. This made me laugh.

[DJL44]

Shelton did manage the Pirates to four of the most profitable seasons in MLB history.

[smartfred]

Lolz. This is one of the better ones. Nice work!

[theBOMisthebomb]

Art imitates life. This is all 100% true.

[Craig Arko]

Happy Halloween. Y’all are very scary.

[Kevin Urdahl]

Thank you RandBalls Stu!

[laloesch]

I'm not drinking the cool aid after the last few seasons with Rocco at the helm.

I've been scouring fan forums frequented by Pirate's fans since the news broke and NONE of them have positive things to say about Shelton.  It's almost all very negative stuff.  The general consensus was that he was an AWFUL manager of his young players and most fans prefaced their explanations by saying they understood the ridiculous payroll limitations placed on him by Bob Nutting and limited talent, but the constant mistakes and lack of accountability on the field for bone headed player decisions went unchecked.  According to them he literally did nothing about it and was nonchalant the whole time.  That to me sounds A LOT like Rocco.  Actually, it could be worse if he really was that apathetic.  Baldelli, would get mad at the umpires, and get thrown out sometimes.   

Not good folks, not good at all.

[sampleSizeOfOne]

10 hours ago, RandBalls Stu said:

a fan base that alternates between alienated and apathetic

DUCH. (severely). I have known instances in which the characteristics of

both conditions existed concurrently in the same individual.

DUKE. Ah, he couldn’t have been a Plaza-Toro.

DUCH. Oh! couldn’t he, though!

[sampleSizeOfOne]

6 hours ago, Craig Arko said:

Happy Halloween. Y’all are very scary.

You too!

 

I'm going as a disgruntled internet poster. How about you?

[Craig Arko]

28 minutes ago, sampleSizeOfOne said:

You too!

 

I'm going as a disgruntled internet poster. How about you?

The ‘roo.

[mrtwinsfan]

• 

[ashbury]

37 minutes ago, Craig Arko said:

The ‘roo.

We know what's going to happen as soon as we see the first frame but the video still delivers.  They say an out-loud laugh is good for one's health.  Thank you for helping preserve mine.

[Otaknam]

That sarcastic headline got a chuckle out of me! 

[sampleSizeOfOne]

17 hours ago, Craig Arko said:

The ‘roo.

Woulda tricked me.

 

I'd never have recognized ya.

 

More importantly, how much candy did ya snag?

[laloesch]

On 10/31/2025 at 8:56 PM, ashbury said:

We know what's going to happen as soon as we see the first frame but the video still delivers.  They say an out-loud laugh is good for one's health.  Thank you for helping preserve mine.

yeah those legs on that rhu....pure power.😁