Twins Establish GoFundMe for Trade Deadline

[RandBalls Stu]

‘We want fans to share their enthusiasm and, more critically, their income,’ said a source.

Image courtesy of Unsplash/Samuel Regan Asante

The Minnesota Twins are in a bind. Despite an excellent chance at another playoff bid, the team needs a starting pitcher, and possibly a lefty reliever. But with TV revenue slashed, attendance numbers below projections, and ownership’s self-imposed frugality, the money just isn’t there to add payroll in a trade.

Unless you step up.

The Minnesota Twins announced the formation of a GoFundMe for the upcoming trade deadline. With a goal of $10,000,000, the team hopes they can raise enough capital to add a pitcher or two by July 30th.

“We want fans to share their enthusiasm and, more critically, their income,” said a front office source. “Can you imagine having a crucial late-season start being made by someone you helped pay for? It gives all our fans some real skin in the game.”

Starter Chris Paddack won’t be back until after the deadline. With no guarantee that he’ll be both healthy and reliable in August and September, adding another arm to the rotation is a clear priority for a team in both the division title and Wild Card conversations.  

“Sportswriters and bloggers talk about buyers and sellers, and it sounds so exciting,” said the source. “Twins Territory should be a part of that conversation. With their checkbooks, to be specific. We have disabled comments on the fundraising page. Please, no more comments.”

With Tuesday just four days away, the fundraiser is off to what a source close to team ownership admits is a “soft” start.

“We’re currently sitting at $65. All the donations so far appear to be ironic or accidental.”

For local fans wary of online banking, the team also has a RBC Wealth Management Trade Money Bucket set up by Gate 7 at Target Field. Although no funds have been deposited, nearby residents have observed it being used as both an ashtray and emergency toilet.

If a trade doesn’t materialize and the money goes unused, all donations will be used to cover standard maintenance and cleaning of the marble and gold toilets at various Pohlad houses, lake homes, penthouses, villas, cottages, cabins, manors, country estates, island getaways, and retreats.

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[Joe A. Preusser]

I recently found a "grad bucks" token from Little Falls High School, 1997.  No cash value.

They can't even have that. 

[Rod Carews Birthday]

Funny.

Quick, let me go check under the couch cushions. . . OK.  That’s 37 cents. . . . and I was saving up for my new Bentley.  

 

[BH67]

The conundrum isn't the money, but that those donating would make the funds contingent upon a specific player being purchased. There's no way Twins fans en masse could line up $10 million for the same desired player.

[CRF]

Sure...just what I wanna do...give a billionaire more moolah. Where do I sign up?

[LambchoP]

One of the richest owners in baseball cutting payroll and crying poverty. And to make it even worse, blaming the fans for poor attendance and TV revenue (even though most Minnesotan's don't even have an option to watch the games). Typical Twins ownership. Ok, I'll give them a pass if they actually go out and do some good at the trade deadline, but I won't hold my breathe:)

[Giles Ferrell]

Quote

For local fans wary of online banking, the team also has a RBC Wealth Management Trade Money Bucket set up by Gate 7 at Target Field. Although no funds have been deposited, nearby residents have observed it being used as both an ashtray and emergency 

Reminds me of this scene from Friends 

[bean5302]

I'd actually donate to this, just for the ability to hold it over the Pohlad's heads next time I see Jim headed through Club Level up to the suites.

[bean5302]

2 hours ago, CRF said:

Sure...just what I wanna do...give a billionaire more moolah. Where do I sign up?

Amazon.com
Comcast.com
Microsoft.com
Apple.com
Google.com
Walmart.com
Tesla.com

There's tons of opportunities to help the destitute billionaires.

[ashbury]

GoFundYour$elve$, Twins.

[sampleSizeOfOne]

6 hours ago, RandBalls Stu said:

“We want fans to share their enthusiasm and, more critically, their income,”

So... if i participated in this, how much of their income do i get?

 

Getting a portion of an MLB contract would be something to cross off my bucket list.

 

Also, they don't have a bucket i could have, do they?

[sampleSizeOfOne]

6 hours ago, RandBalls Stu said:

If a trade doesn’t materialize and the money goes unused, all donations will be used to cover standard maintenance and cleaning of the marble and gold toilets at various Pohlad houses, lake homes, penthouses, villas, cottages, cabins, manors, country estates, island getaways, and retreats.

I guess i need to reread the fine pront of gufundme... i'm pretty sure that wasn't there last time i checked.

[sampleSizeOfOne]

How many lottery tickets does $65 get?

 

Twins'mn!

[Brandon]

I sent in a couple of $3.00 bills I hope that helps

[NotAboutWinning]

Remember, your GoFundMe donation to the non-profit Twins is not tax deductible 🤣🤣🤣

[ashbury]

2 hours ago, NotAboutWinning said:

Remember, your GoFundMe donation to the non-profit Twins is not tax deductible 🤣🤣🤣

The Twins will nonetheless find a way to make the windfall income tax-exempt.

[darin617]

MLB is giving the Twins 15M.  There should have been a stipulation that they had to use it or lose it. Whether it was towards a traded players contract or an extension for a player.

We all know the Twins will trade for a back of the rotation starter and pocket 12M.

[nclahammer]

Same old, same old cheap Pohlads...it's like beating a dead horse.   Is that all you've got?