Game Thread: Twins @ Dodgers, 7/25/17 @ 9:10 CT

[PDX Twin]

This is my first game thread and I’m a little intimidated. There’s such a rich tradition of creativity here!

 

I shouldn’t be nervous, it’s just words. I like words. I like to play with words. For example, in the car I’m always playing with the 3 letters on the license plate in front of me, looking for the shortest word that uses them in the given order with as few intervening letters as possible. (Try it, it’s fun.)

 

One of my favorite “word games” is taking familiar phrases or quotations and adding, omitting, or changing one letter to make something interestingly different.

 

For example, I routinely pass up the sample carts at Costco by invoking the maxim “Taste not, want not.” For another example, if Elizabeth Barrett Browning (supposedly my ancestor) had written a sonnet about the Twins’ 2016 season, she might have had Paul Molitor say “How do I lose thee? Let me count the ways.” Finally, Sir Walter Scott might have commented on a certain Southern politician’s Argentine tryst with “O, what a tangoed web we weave when first we practice to deceive.”

 

But this is a baseball site, so let’s have some fun with the names of major league teams. Change, add, or omit one letter to make something interesting and maybe appropriate. (Creative spelling is allowed.) I offer five selections and invite you to add to or improve upon them in the comments.

 

1. Philadelphia Phollies. 34-63? Really, some of these just write themselves.

 

2. Pittsburgh Pilates. They’d bring a whole new look to between-inning warm-ups!

 

3. Boston Red Pox. Think measles, poison ivy, and mosquito bites. Boston is my least favorite team not from New York, partly because my son and son-out-law (not yet married) are both avid Boston fans … and we usually lose to them.

 

4. Miami Merlins. There must be some magic involved for a team with a .469 winning percentage to have won two World Series in its 34-year history.

 

5. What about our favorite nine? “Twinks” has been used too many times to be interesting. “Minnesota Wins” would be great but we’re not there right now. There aren’t too many choices. I like Minnesota Twines only because I’d love to hear Dick and Bert call a game-tying homerun with “the Twines tie it up.”

 

[bonus thought: If Houston ever gets a women’s baseball team it just has to be named the Houston Estros.]

 

Tonight is the second game of the series against the team with the best record in baseball after what seemed like a winnable contest slipped through our fingers (or perhaps soared over the fence) last night. Señor Berríos takes the mound for the Twines against Japanese right-hander Kenta Maeda. Minnesota fans will hope that LA manager Dave Roberts has Maeda mistake with his Dodgier pitcher selection.

 

Lineups will be forthcoming when available …

[Craig Arko]

Well done!

[Mike Sixel]

Nice job, but then, Portland people are geniuses. So we all knew it was coming.

[Squirrel]

Nice job, but then, Portland people are geniuses. So we all knew it was coming.

Yeah? When's it coming from you, Mike? Haven't seen you sign up for a game thread yet. What can I do to goad you into it? Are you chicken?

[Kwak]

I hope Berrios has learned to not hang 0-2 curves over the plate.

[Mike Sixel]

 

Yeah? When's it coming from you, Mike? Haven't seen you sign up for a game thread yet. What can I do to goad you into it? Are you chicken?

 

I just literally laughed out loud, young lady.

 

Let me look at August, the wife gets to go to Europe to visit the younger son, while I toil away in hardship....that and I'm out of vacation time because I've been so busy having fun.

[diehardtwinsfan]

Way to raise expectations for future games threads... excellent intro.

[Pardon My Dinger]

 

I shouldn’t be nervous, it’s just words. I like words. I like to play with words. For example, in the car I’m always playing with the 3 letters on the license plate in front of me, looking for the shortest word that uses them in the given order with as few intervening letters as possible. (Try it, it’s fun.)

This game...these rules...I've gone cross-eyed. 

 

[jimbo92107]

Good intro. 

 

Who are we playing?

[PDX Twin]

 

Way to raise expectations for future games threads... excellent intro.

 

[Squirrel]

 

I just literally laughed out loud, young lady.

 

Let me look at August, the wife gets to go to Europe to visit the younger son, while I toil away in hardship....that and I'm out of vacation time because I've been so busy having fun.

Ha! Young lady, heh ... I'm older than you IIRC.

[Mike Sixel]

 

Ha! Young lady, heh ... I'm older than you IIRC.

 

who says I'm old? we can both be young.....if we choose.

[Squirrel]

 

who says I'm old? we can both be young.....if we choose.

Okay, I'll roll with that ... it's good.

[Oldgoat_MN]

 

Good intro. 

 

Who are we playing?

The Lost Angels Dopers.

It's high time we beat them.

[Blake]

 

Good job, Rookie!

[Han Joelo]

The Seattle Marines?  Hmm.  How about the New York Mehs?  The Milwaukee Brewders, like brooding about whether or not they are any good?

[PDX Twin]

 

The Seattle Marines?  Hmm.  How about the New York Mehs?  The Milwaukee Brewders, like brooding about whether or not they are any good?

 

If my photo-editing skills were better, I'd have suggested the Milwaukee Bremers and pasted Dick's face into every player on a team picture.

[PDX Twin]

And the aforementioned lineups:

 

Twins

1. Brian Dozier [R] 2B (.249 .336 .442 .778)
2. Zack Granite [L] CF (.256 .341 .282 .623)
3. Joe Mauer [L] 1B (.283 .364 .393 .757)
4. Miguel Sano [R] 3B (.271 .366 .525 .891)
5. Eddie Rosario [L] LF (.296 .333 .484 .817)
6. Eduardo Escobar SS (.270 .327 .435 .761)
7. Max Kepler [L] RF (.257 .326 .423 .749)
8. Jason Castro [L] C (.223 .312 .370 .682)
9. Jose Berrios [R] P (.500 .500 .500 1.000)

 

The old "best hitter at the bottom of the lineup" tactic!

 

Dodgers

1. Chris Taylor [R] LF (.318 .387 .538 .925)
2. Corey Seager [L] SS (.293 .388 .506 .894)
3. Justin Turner [R] 3B (.369 .463 .569 1.032)
4. Cody Bellinger [L] 1B (.269 .350 .622 .973)
5. Yasmani Grandal C (.272 .320 .491 .812)
6. Joc Pederson [L] CF (.238 .349 .455 .804)
7. Chase Utley [L] 2B (.224 .321 .395 .716)
8. Yasiel Puig [R] RF (.250 .325 .462 .787)
9. Kenta Maeda [R] P (.154 .154 .192 .346)

 

Go, Twines!

[diehardtwinsfan]

 

who says I'm old? we can both be young.....if we choose.

 

I keep telling my wife that age is a state of mind.  I'm sticking to that until I look like the guy that was in front of me when I deplaned in FL today.

[Craig Arko]

No Buxton. Huh.

[PDX Twin]

 

No Buxton. Huh.

 

Not in the lineup. And I've seen nothing of any roster moves. Anyone else?

[spinowner]

 

One of my favorite “word games” is taking familiar phrases or quotations and adding, omitting, or changing one letter to make something interestingly different.

Another of many memorable moments from 1987. I was at a game near the end of the season in which I bought a general admission ticket for the upper deck in left field. (Yes, it was general admission then.) My friend and I arrived shortly before game time and due to the fullness of the stadium we decided, what the heck, we'll sit in the top row in front of the scoreboard. So during the 7th inning stretch I stood up for "Take Me Out To The Ball Game". The lyrics were on the scoreboard and I happened to turn around to see that I had transformed them into "if they don't win it's a sham".

[USAFChief]

Directly behind home plate, 4 rows up, 4 blue Twins Daily t shirts. Un-****ing-real.

[PDX Twin]

 

Another of many memorable moments from 1987. I was at a game near the end of the season in which I bought a general admission ticket for the upper deck in left field. (Yes, it was general admission then.) My friend and I arrived shortly before game time and due to the fullness of the stadium we decided, what the heck, we'll sit in the top row in front of the scoreboard. So during the 7th inning stretch I stood up for "Take Me Out To The Ball Game". The lyrics were on the scoreboard and I happened to turn around to see that I had transformed them into "if they don't win it's a sham".

 

Ha!

 

It wasn't relevant in 1987, but that's one that spell-check would miss. I've lost count of how many student papers have discussed market failures due to pubic goods or recommendations for pubic policy.

[Dave The Dastardly]

Once upon a time, in a land where the snow never seemed to melt, mercury thermometers weren't mercurial and summers were always too short, a lanky, but not a lefty, young man played for the Dodgers. Not the big Dodgers, the Midget Dodgers. The Lankster was fleet of foot and quick of both wit and bat speed. Both admirable qualities, one of which he still possesses. Tentatively.

 

Like Mark Chesnutt, The Lankster "proudly wore his uniform just like the Dodgers did". Not that he could sing like Mark Chessnut, but he sure could wear his uniform particularly proudly. Especially after the Midget Dodgers took the city crown.

 

But then the Brooklyn Bums moved to LA, fleeing to a warmer climate and a new stadium and they weren't so bummy anymore. Instead the Bums became sort of the West Coast version of the hated Yankees. And the Lankster's pride in the Dodgers took a back seat to the Twins. Then came the 1965 World Series, the Dodgers over the Twins in seven. That's when that old Midgets uniform became an oil rag. Ain't no pride in an oil rag. Sure can't wear it proudly. Could maybe write a country song about that. Get Mark Chesnutt to sing it...

 

The Lankster however, despite opinions expressed to the opposite, is not a complete idiot. Though that point is often hotly debated. The Lankster did keep his championship trophy and he fondly remembers those youthful days it symbolizes whenever his wife makes him dust it off. And occasionally, in weaker moments, he still feels the tug of Dodger Blue and wishes there's a genie in that trophy who can take him back to a time when he can again play shortstop without throwing out his bad knee, bum leg and weak back just taking the field.

 

Maybe if he polishes that old trophy really, really hard...

 

Hey! I'm getting an idea for a baseball story here! An old fart rubs a dusty old baseball trophy and genie pops out and grants his wish to turn back the clock and make him into a youthful baseball star...

 

I'm going to call it "Damn Dodgers"!

 

What the hell, it's probably what I'll be saying after this series anyway.

 

 

[Joe A. Preusser]

Washington Rationals.

Texas Strangers.

Pittsburg Irates.

Rochester Red Wigs.

[Old Twins Cap]

Whoa, what about Buck?

 

Did they trade him or something?

[spinowner]

 

Washington Rationals.
Texas Strangers.
Pittsburg Irates.
Rochester Red Wigs.

Reminds me of the days when the Ignore-us Division of the NHL comprised the Minnesota No Stars, the Chicago Slack Hawks, the Toronto Maple Loafs, the St. Louis Blahs and the Detroit Dead Things.

[glunn]

Directly behind home plate, 4 rows up, 4 blue Twins Daily t shirts. Un-****ing-real.

[spinowner]

 

Whoa, what about Buck?

 

Did they trade him or something?

Twins web site shows him on the 10-day DL.