Article: Gamethread: Twins @ White Sox, 6/28 @ 7:10pm CT

[Riverbrian]

Uff Da… we play the White Sox a lot. We play them almost as often as we do the Royals, Indians and Tigers. I can’t be certain but we might even play them again.

The Good Guys vs the Bad Guys. Yeah... the Hawk calls the White Sox the Good
Guys but we ain’t buying that. We know they are the bad guys!!!

Here are some things to think about:

 

1. Al Capone – This famous bad guy ruled Chicago. Instead of buying his wife a gift on Valentine’s Day… he was just too busy for that in 1929 as he was busy planning and executing a massacre. When his wife found out exactly why he was too busy… she gave it some thought and decided it was best to just let it go. Capone has been portrayed in many films over the years but never by Al Pacino because he didn’t want to be mistakenly called Cappuccino.


2. Hannibal Lecter – Bad guys are even more dangerous when they are also highly intelligent. Hannibal can listen to Brian Dozier speak and immediately detect that his dialect is pure Mississippi even if he sounds like he is from Arkansas. Hannibal also knows that his pull hitting issues are related to an obsessive compulsive fixation with his hair. If Brian would simply shave his head… the ball will go the other way.


3. Donald Trump – Speaking of hair… I think both parties are run by bad guys… I’m neither Democrat nor Republican… anti-political by choice. Donald Trump says he can control the country but he also said that he could control his hair, so I’m still a little skeptical. According to medical professionals… the stress of being the President will take ten years off your life. This is why Trump has received enough votes to be the Republican nominee.


4. Hillary Clinton – Sometimes the Bad Guy is a Bad Gal. When Hillary secured the Democratic nomination, her Husband Bill brought her Flowers to celebrate. Hillary said… “Get her out of here.”


5. Telemarketers – The only time our landline rings… it’s a telemarketer. Here’s how the last phone call went.

Riverbrian: Hello (10 Seconds of Silence)

Telemarketer: Hello… Can I speak with Mr. Rear (Pause) Brain.

Riverbrian: I’ll assume that I am him

Telemarketer: How are you today… Mr. Rear Brain?

Riverbrian: My eyelashes hurt for some reason

Telemarketer: That’s good to hear… I’m calling on behalf of Citibank. I want to let you know that you’ve been personally selected for our new Triple Iron Ore Card… how does that sound to you?

Riverbrian: Like a baby crying in the middle of a wedding.

Telemarketer: I know… it’s seems too good to be true. Only 45 billion people are eligible for this special offer and to get you signed up… all we need is every single bit of your personal information. Do you have 5 hours so we can go over everything? The quicker we get started… the quicker you can start spending money that you don’t have… anywhere in the world.

Riverbrian: When I was 3 years old… I drank finger nail polish remover. Do you have a box on that form for that?

Telemarketer: We also have a special promotion… If you provide the contact information of 5 of your friends. You will get a free spatula.

Riverbrian: Now you’re talkin… There’s ChiTown... Glunn… North… Do you take Canadians?

Telemarketer: Canadians only count for 75 Percent of a Person.

Riverbrian: Chief is extra American… He’s about 1 and a quarter.

Telemarketer: Ok… one more.
____________________

Lineups:

TWINS
Eduardo Nunez [R) SS
Robbie Grossman (S) LF
Joe Mauer (L) 1B
Brian Dozier [R) 2B
Trevor Plouffe [R) 3B
Max Kepler (L) RF
Byung-ho Park [R) DH
Kurt Suzuki [R) C
Byron Buxton [R) CF

Kyle Gibson [R) P

WHITE SOX
Tim Anderson [R) SS
Adam Eaton (L) RF
Jose Abreu [R) 1B
Melky Cabrera (S) LF
Todd Frazier [R) 3B
Brett Lawrie [R) 2B
Alex Avila (L) C
Avisail Garcia [R) DH
J.B. Shuck (L) CF

Jose Quintana (L) P

Game-time forecast: currently it's cloudy and 69 deg, but by 7pm it should be clear, sunny and 68 deg F, humidity at 46%, winds at 13mph from the N. It's WAY cooler today than it was yesterday.

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[HitInAPinch]

" Uff Da ".  Thought I trademarked that phrase.  Jeezzz. gotta call ol' J. Noble Dagget.....

 

[ashbury]

4. Hilary Clinton – Sometimes the Bad Guy is a Bad Gal. When Hilary secured the Democratic nomination. Her Husband Bill brought her Flowers to celebrate. Hilary said… “Get her out of here”

Hey Brian.. Just in case... you ever Decide... to branch out into writing Romance novels... try to Remember... the above is not part of the Formula... you have a Character's backstory be that she was cheated on... in order to build Sympathy... not to Provide foreshadowing that she will turn out to be the Villain in chapter seven. 

 

Maybe a Spy Novel though... "I was Cheated on... as my revenge I shall now Take over the World... mwah ha Hah".

[Craig Arko]

We still get calls from these guys, and although I have played along a few times, nothing like this fella from Malwarebytes did.

 

 

[ashbury]

We still get calls from these guys, and although I have played along a few times, nothing like this fella from Malwarebytes did.

Interesting to learn what their purpose is. $299 must be only the start, that seems like small potatoes considering how many calls they have to make to reel one person in.

 

I have never stayed on the line long enough to hear more than "Windows Support, may I speak to mister John..." *click*. It seems like a monumentally stupid idea to engage them, and try to convince them the error of their ways - the dialing software calls at random, but at that point they do have my phone number, so why piss them off and perhaps get on their "special attention" list that involves phone calls at 3 am, say?

[Vanimal46]

My go-to with telemarketers is saying "I like turtles" *click*. It'd be interesting to see the call notes on me from the college I attended when they're making donation calls. 

[HitInAPinch]

 

Interesting to learn what their purpose is. $299 must be only the start, that seems like small potatoes considering how many calls they have to make to reel one person in.

 

I have never stayed on the line long enough to hear more than "Windows Support, may I speak to mister John..." *click*. It seems like a monumentally stupid idea to engage them, and try to convince them the error of their ways - the dialing software calls at random, but at that point do have my phone number, so why piss them off and perhaps get on their "special attention" list that involves phone calls at 3 am, say?

I take the time to give them a good, proper, berating. 

Then I add them to my "Blocked Caller" list.

 

[ashbury]

I take the time to give them a good, proper, berating. 

Then I add them to my "Blocked Caller" list.

They call with spoofed phone numbers, so I don't see what a call blocking scheme can do.

[Squirrel]

 

They call with spoofed phone numbers, so I don't see what a call blocking scheme can do.

Unless I know the number or name, I just don't answer the phone. And by never answering, I get a LOT fewer calls from telemarketers. I'd give up the landline altogether except that conversing with my hard-of-hearing parents is much better from a landline.

[Mike Sixel]

What's a land line*

 

*we got rid of our's years ago.....we almost had to get one so my wife could fax from home (running a new business from there), but we decided if she needs to fax she can spend the big bucks at a store once a quarter....

[Blake]

I have to admit, as a computer guy, I love it when the "you've got a problem with your computer" guys call. 

 

If I'm in a good mood, I'll play along. It amuses me when they tell me to hit the "window" key to bring up the "run" box...mainly because I run Linux at home.

 

Mom always asks the scammers to tell her what the problem is so she can discuss it with her son, the IT guy. Those calls end quickly.

[Squirrel]

I have a friend who answers and speaks German to them. If I'm caught off-guard and answer the rare call, I usually just say, "She's not here right now" when they ask for me. And on some days, there could be truth in that.

[Craig Arko]

 

I have to admit, as a computer guy, I love it when the "you've got a problem with your computer" guys call. 

 

If I'm in a good mood, I'll play along. It amuses me when they tell me to hit the "window" key to bring up the "run" box...mainly because I run Linux at home.

 

Mom always asks the scammers to tell her what the problem is so she can discuss it with her son, the IT guy. Those calls end quickly.

Similarly, I'm a Mac-centric user. I enjoy it when they ask me to go to the Start menu and I innocently ask "What's that?"

[Vanimal46]

That's going to be a fun story to tell future kids/grand kids one day about land lines... Believe it or not little Tommy, there was a time when we didn't have hand-held computers in our possession at all times. We used to have to call people at their house to see if they were home and available to play backyard baseball that afternoon.  

[wsnydes]

 

That's going to be a fun story to tell future kids/grand kids one day about land lines... Believe it or not little Tommy, there was a time when we didn't have hand-held computers in our possession at all times. We used to have to call people at their house to see if they were home and available to play backyard baseball that afternoon.  

...and there were books...books are a bunch of pieces of paper bound together with a front and back cover...anyway, there were these books with the names, addresses, and phone numbers of everyone in town in them!  They also had the phone numbers of pizza joints - yes, we had to call to order a pizza.  Yes, they did deliver.  No, not by horse and buggy.

[Vanimal46]

...and there were books...books are a bunch of pieces of paper bound together with a front and back cover...anyway, there were these books with the names, addresses, and phone numbers of everyone in town in them! They also had the phone numbers of pizza joints - yes, we had to call to order a pizza. Yes, they did deliver. No, not by horse and buggy.

But grandpa snydes, how did they know you wanted pizza without sending a

[Craig Arko]

 

...and there were books...books are a bunch of pieces of paper bound together with a front and back cover...anyway, there were these books with the names, addresses, and phone numbers of everyone in town in them!  They also had the phone numbers of pizza joints - yes, we had to call to order a pizza.  Yes, they did deliver.  No, not by horse and buggy.

Ah, books. Still have a good 5-6000 of those, although many are boxed up now.

 

I do not miss having to hunt through telephone books one iota.

[Squirrel]

So, word on the street is ... and, literally, I heard it on the street as a couple of people in front of me were talking about going to the Sox game tonight ... that it's Polish Night at the Cell tonight ... they'll be serving perogis and potato pancakes!!! Now ... if I weren't working tonight, knowing that might have changed my mind about going to the game. I didn't bother to switch my work schedule around because, well, it's miserable enough watching these games on TV, I didn't really want to be surrounded by chiding Sox fans and be more miserable in person. But man ... a night with perogis????? That might have been a draw for me.

[Vanimal46]

 

I do not miss having to hunt through telephone books one iota.

I'm pretty sure I caught the bitter end of using telephone books. I do recall looking up friends' home numbers in the phone book, and getting frustrated because I didn't know their parents' first name(s). Then 411 came along in the mid-2000's to start eliminating the need for phone books... Now here we are, just a google search away from finding any phone number. 

[Craig Arko]

 

I'm pretty sure I caught the bitter end of using telephone books. I do recall looking up friends' home numbers in the phone book, and getting frustrated because I didn't know their parents' first name(s). Then 411 came along in the mid-2000's to start eliminating the need for phone books... Now here we are, just a google search away from finding any phone number. 

If you call me in the middle of the night again your life is forfeit. I don't care if you really are Windows Technical Support.

[Vanimal46]

 

If you call me in the middle of the night again your life is forfeit. I don't care if you really are Windows Technical Support.

I wouldn't have to keep calling in the middle of the night if you would just listen and go to the start menu on your computer! 

[mickeymental]

 

If you call me in the middle of the night again your life is forfeit. I don't care if you really are Windows Technical Support.

huh. all this time i thought the voice was saying "... windows testicle support ..."

[Craig Arko]

 

huh. all this time i thought the voice was saying "... windows testicle support ..."

Turn your head sideways and cough.

[Mike Sixel]

I think the Twins win tonight. By a lot. 

[Kwak]

 

So, word on the street is ... and, literally, I heard it on the street as a couple of people in front of me were talking about going to the Sox game tonight ... that it's Polish Night at the Cell tonight ... they'll be serving perogis and potato pancakes!!! Now ... if I weren't working tonight, knowing that might have changed my mind about going to the game. I didn't bother to switch my work schedule around because, well, it's miserable enough watching these games on TV, I didn't really want to be surrounded by chiding Sox fans and be more miserable in person. But man ... a night with perogis????? That might have been a draw for me.

I knew people who used to call in "sick" when they found a better way to spend their time than working. Just sayin'...

[gocgo]

As I age gracefully, I find myself being more and more disrespectful to telemarketers.  I have not tried the "testicle support" line yet, but I imagine it going something like this:

 

gocgo - "Hello"

telemarketer (in appropriate accent) - "I am calling you from Windows technical support, are you near your computer?"

gocgo - "Testicle support!  Why would I need testicle support?  I'll have you know that my testicles are just fine as they are!  Honey! (calls to wife in background)  This guy on the phone wants to support my testicles."

Honey - "Tell him I've got it covered babe."

gocgo - "What kind of a sick human being are you and what do my testicles have to do with the window?  Your not some sick stalker wanting me to press them up against the window so you can take some tabloid picture are you?....say...that's feels kind of good"

CLICK

 

Generally, I use the Publishers Clearing House line and start screaming with excitement that I've won a million dollars every year for life.  I get the whole family around the phone and they all scream at the guy until they hang up....(usually takes about 2 minutes).  It's become a family bonding thing.

[zenser]

I college I actually found some time to drink beer with friends, actually, lots of beer.  When a telemarketer called during these drinking sessions, we usually would say, "I am watching a porno, this better be good."  The silence on the phone was golden before the click! 

[Squirrel]

 

I knew people who used to call in "sick" when they found a better way to spend their time than working. Just sayin'...

And maybe I love my job that much, or enough, that it isn't a better way to spend my time. Just sayin' ...

[Blake]

 

As I age gracefully, I find myself being more and more disrespectful to telemarketers.  I have not tried the "testicle support" line yet, but I imagine it going something like this:

 

gocgo - "Hello"

telemarketer (in appropriate accent) - "I am calling you from Windows technical support, are you near your computer?"

gocgo - "Testicle support!  Why would I need testicle support?  I'll have you know that my testicles are just fine as they are!  Honey! (calls to wife in background)  This guy on the phone wants to support my testicles."

Honey - "Tell him I've got it covered babe."

gocgo - "What kind of a sick human being are you and what do my testicles have to do with the window?  Your not some sick stalker wanting me to press them up against the window so you can take some tabloid picture are you?....say...that's feels kind of good"

CLICK

 

Generally, I use the Publishers Clearing House line and start screaming with excitement that I've won a million dollars every year for life.  I get the whole family around the phone and they all scream at the guy until they hang up....(usually takes about 2 minutes).  It's become a family bonding thing.

You have opened brand new vistas of ways to deal with telemarketers.

[Comrade Bork]

" Donald Trump says he can control the country but he also said that he could control his hair, so I’m still a little skeptical. According to medical professionals… the stress of being the President will take ten years off your life. This is why Trump has received enough votes to be the Republican nominee."

 

That was wonderful.