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Article: Gamethread: Twins @ White Sox, 6/28 @ 7:10pm CT

Riverbrian
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ashbury GOAT

ashbury

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Sven was going for his morning walk one day when he went past Ole's house and saw a sign that said "Boat For Sale."

 

This confused Sven because he knew that Ole didn't own a boat. So he finally decided to go in and ask Ole about it.

 

"Hey Ole," said Sven, "I noticed da sign in your yard dat says 'Boat For Sale,' but all ya have in the yard is your old John Deere tractor and combine."

 

Ole replied, "Ya, and dey're boat for sale."

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Riverbrian
Riverbrian

Uff Da… we play the White Sox a lot. We play them almost as often as we do the Royals, Indians and Tigers. I can’t be certain but we might even play them again. The Good Guys vs the Bad Guys. Yeah...

Craig Arko
Craig Arko

Turn your head sideways and cough.

S.
S.

Step 1. Get inducted into the baseball hall of fame. Step 2. ??? Step 3. Profit

USAFChief GOAT

USAFChief

Twins Daily Contributor
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Sven takes Lena to a nice restaurant for their anniversary.

 

As the waitress brings Sven the bill, she asks him, with a grin on her face, "Do you know the difference between a canoe and a Norwegian?"

 

Sven gets a big grin on his face, waiting for the punchline..."Vell, no, young lady.  Vhat's da diff'rence?"

 

"Canoes sometimes tip,"  she replies as she walks away.

HitInAPinch Ft Myers Mighty Mussels

HitInAPinch

Verified Member
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Ole bought Lena a piano for her birthday.

A few weeks later, Lars inquired how she was doing with it.

"Oh," said Ole, "I persuaded her to svitch to a clarinet."

"How come?" asked Lars.

"Vell," Ole answered, "because vith a clarinet, she can't sing."

Hosken Bombo Disco All-Star

Hosken Bombo Disco

Community Moderator
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I just got off the phone with the Dodgers GM. Dozier for Kershaw is a no-go, I'm afraid. I'll keep trying, though. ;)

Kershaw actually hurt his back in his last start. Nothing serious, but Terry still turned down the offer, not wanting to trade for an injured guy :)
ashbury GOAT

ashbury

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I just got off the phone with the Dodgers GM. Dozier for Kershaw is a no-go, I'm afraid. I'll keep trying, though. ;)

Ole says not to vorry, ve'll settle fer Kershaw and Pederson.

 

/ oy, scooped by Chief again

 

/ / and he twists the knife with a Pity Like/

 

 / / and den takes it avay, dontchaknow

Richie the Rally Goat St Paul Saints

Richie the Rally Goat

Community Moderator
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That's going to be a fun story to tell future kids/grand kids one day about land lines... Believe it or not little Tommy, there was a time when we didn't have hand-held computers in our possession at all times. We used to have to call people at their house to see if they were home and available to play backyard baseball that afternoon.

my child is two and has never lived in or visited a house with a land line but if you hand her the old toy https://www.google.com/search?q=vintage+toy+telephone&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&hl=en-us&client=safari#imgrc=WAvkzwoh4-FUBM%3A

 

She knows exactly what to do with it.

 

On the other hand she taps and swipes my tv like it's an iPad

twinssporto St Paul Saints

twinssporto

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Question:  Ortiz leads MLB with 31 doubles.  Is it because he plays in Fenway or is he just an awesome hitter?  Amazing...I would think a guy like Mauer would be in that category versus Ortiz.  I don't think Ortiz has hit a ball to left field in 15+ years.  They shift the entire defense on him every at bat.

S. First Round Pick

S.

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Posted

It amazes me that there aren't more stolen bases against us every single game. If I were an opposing team and Suzuki is catching, I'm sending the guy on first every time unless its Ortiz or Panda or someone like that.

USAFChief GOAT

USAFChief

Twins Daily Contributor
Posted
Posted

You all know me...I kinda enjoy telling a joke now and then.  I'm reminded of the time I was up north fishing and stopped in at a small tavern to have a cold one up there by the Falls.  I ordered, and a big, burly bartender brought my beer.  

 

"Hey," I said, "wanna hear a Sven and Ole joke?"

 

"Vell, go ahead if you vant,"  he said.  "But you should know, I'm Norwegian.  So's that big feller down dere at de end of da bar.  And dat bigger lady down dere at de udder end of da bar."

 

I thought about it, and said, "You're right friend.  That's probably not a great idea.  I'd have to explain the damn thing three times."

USAFChief GOAT

USAFChief

Twins Daily Contributor
Posted
Posted

 

Question:  Ortiz leads MLB with 31 doubles.  Is it because he plays in Fenway or is he just an awesome hitter?  Amazing...I would think a guy like Mauer would be in that category versus Ortiz.  I don't think Ortiz has hit a ball to left field in 15+ years.  They shift the entire defense on him every at bat.

Most teams actually play a more extreme shift against Mauer than Ortiz.

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