Game Thread: Twins @ Tigers, 5/17/16 @6:10pm CT

Comrade Bork · May 17, 2016

My day as a 26 year old GM.
A Perspective.
If John Chayka (see Arizona Coyotes) can do it, so can I.

After the dust settled, Terry was nowhere to be seen. There were theories of course. Spontaneous combustion was a popular one for a while. It covered all the facts, Terry, already born down by unforeseeable poor play this season, combusted after a top prospect got shelled. The Negativity Police arrived too late.

Some thought that he was sent back in time as a gift from the Pohlads. Back to a time when baseball was simpler and the boys could just play. Rumor said he worked for some Ohio team. The spiders or something?

Others think he simply went to retire in Arizona and no one happened to notice.

The real story may never be known. All I know is that the Creature some call the Pohlads approached me in the night and anointed me GM. I know. I was as shocked as you are. My mind was racing as the Creature faded back into the shadows. I was terrified. How could I possibly turn this dumpster fire of a team into a glorious bonfire? It was a mystery I couldn't solve. My last thought before sleep enveloped me was " I wish Buxton would hit".

The next morning, as I was wondering vaguely if everything had been a dream, epiphany came suddenly. I knew what to do! I knew how to fix everything! The answers were right before my eyes!

How could Terry have missed it!?!

A glorious fount of knowledge, a beacon of hope and optimism!

TwinsDaily.com!
With you posters at my side we cannot fail!

Before the Pohlad Creature encounter I was but a simple casual poster, but now...
Now I can feel the power flowing through me!
The changes I could make!
The Pohlad money I could try and spend!
To glory Comrades!.....

They came for me an hour later.
Told me its, "not cool" to lock old guys in their closets over night and that I must refer to the Pohlads as "human beings" (shiver).

I went with dignity, as befitting my rank as ex-GM of the Minnesota Twins
-------------------------------------------------------------------

Hello!

-I got a late start on the Twins last night. As I arrived at the bar that provides my free access to cable last night, Martinez was dropping the ball in right field. yay! It quickly became apparent that I missed a nuts game and that it was fortuitous that I was at a bar because drinks were needed to finish the game.. However lets hope that the Twins put up another 8 spot on them Tigers, but get the win this time!

-Despite their struggles, the Twins have still been interesting and fun to watch. Interesting in the way people slow down on the freeway to look at an accident. Fascinating

-I'm not saying Torii would've fixed this team, but there does seem to be a little somethin missing.

http://i.imgur.com/8weXXNu.gifv

Weather

Picture the beautiful Twin Cities today. 62 and mostly sunny. Now picture 60 and mostly cloudy and you get Detroit. So, you know, just a little worse.
63 and sunny at the cabin northwest of the BWCA!

Minnesota Twins:
SP- Phil Hughes ® (1-6, 6.44) At least he looks like he's concentrating when he is getting shelled

TBA

Molly is a slowpoke and I gotta run!

Detroit Tigers:
SP- Mike Pelfrey! ® (0-4, 5.80)
They say looks aren't everything.. Pelfrey's fastball looks like it still has no movement.
I am happier as a Twins fan knowing that someone else took a gamble on Pelf.

1. Ian Kinsler ® 2B
2. J.D. Martinez ® RF
3. Miguel Cabrera ® 1B
4. Victor Martinez (S) DH
5. Nick Castellanos ® 3B
6. Justin Upton ® LF
7. Cameron Maybin ® CF
8. James McCann ® C
9. Jose Iglesias ® SS

Fun Stuff
-Buxton has back spasms

-Berrios sent down, LaVelle E. Neal per KFAN theorizes possible spot start by Pat Dean

-The Twins signed some outfielder named Grossman and put him in Rochester. Pressure on Rosario/Santana?

-Braves fire manager Gonzalez. Is Molitor starting to feel the heat? lol jk Pohlads amirite?

-Vegas has the over/under on runs scored at 9.5 The highest of any game today.

It's like Vegas doesnt trust either of these pitchers.

-Joe Nathan just signed a deal with the Cubs. Another ex Twin angling for a ring?
-Hi Mom!

-Oh, and this is what its like when Park hits a home run

PARK BANG!
Homeryung Byung?

Go Twins! Get that win!

USAFChief · May 17, 2016

Thanks, comrade!

Solidarity!

gocgo · May 17, 2016

Thank you sir! I've decided to step back and take a Uekeristic approach to the rest of the season.

Bob Ueker once said "Hey, I think it's easy for guys to hit .300 and stay in the big leagues. Hit .200 and try to stick around as long as I did; I think it's a much greater accomplishment. That's hard."

The way I see it, most of the Twins players might already be taking this approach. When you think about it, they are going above and beyond in a Bob Ueker way.

Craig Arko · May 17, 2016

Bozhe moi.

Or yours, anyway, since I operate at a deficit in that area.

Comrade Bork · May 17, 2016

Twins Lineup

1. Joe Mauer (L) 1B

2. Jorge Polanco (S) SS

3. Miguel Sano ® RF

4. Byung Ho Park ® DH

5. Trevor Plouffe ® 3B

6. Brian Dozier ® 2B

7. Eddie Rosario (L) LF

8. Juan Centeno (L) C

9. Danny Santana (S) CF

Negativity Police · May 17, 2016

The Negativity Police arrived too late.

Some thought that he was sent back in time as a gift from the Pohlads. Back to a time when baseball was simpler and the boys could just play. Rumor said he worked for some Ohio team. The spiders or something?

Others think he simply went to retire in Arizona and no one happened to notice.

Gone drinkin.'

Craig Arko · May 17, 2016

Gone drinkin.'

You are wise beyond words.

HitInAPinch · May 17, 2016

Nunez finally getting a day off. Twins still determined to run DanSan into the ground....

And Juan "The Hammer" Centeno catching!

Bark's Lounge · May 17, 2016

Gone drinkin.'

I think it is quite noble of you to shun your planet to assist TwinsDaily. The collective TD negativity readings must be off the charts. (gulp)

Craig Arko · May 17, 2016

Gray skies are gonna clear up

Put on a happy face

Brush off the clouds and cheer up

Put on a happy face

Take off that gloomy mask of tragedy

It's not your style

You'll look so good that you'll be glad

You decided to smile

Pick out a pleasant outlook

Stick out that noble chin

Wipe off that full of doubt look

Slap on a happy grin

And spread sunshine all over the place

Just put on a happy face

Reider · May 17, 2016

I like the batting order today.

I'm not surprised by the over / under (9.5) on runs scored today. With Hughes and Pelfrey pitching, I wouldn't be surprised if it was higher either.

Winston Smith · May 17, 2016

Let's hope there isn't a lot of negativity about the negativity. That gets into complicated math which, I've been told, isn't allowed in game threads.

Bark's Lounge · May 17, 2016

Gray skies are gonna clear up
Put on a happy face
Brush off the clouds and cheer up
Put on a happy face

Take off that gloomy mask of tragedy
It's not your style
You'll look so good that you'll be glad
You decided to smile

Pick out a pleasant outlook
Stick out that noble chin
Wipe off that full of doubt look
Slap on a happy grin

And spread sunshine all over the place
Just put on a happy face

Craig, I liked your post. I just want to keep some balance. I'll be the Ying to your Yang. (Geez, that didn't sound right)

Lies - And you fill their souls
With all oppressions of this world
And all the glory you receive?
So, What makes you supreme?
Lies - Your crown is falling
I offer fantasy
And you, you creator are
Blind with envy

Let the children come to me
Their mother loves me, so shall they
Woman, bleeding, ate my gifts
Man was close behind
Just like a snake I'm slithering
Thru my world divine
And like the cat I'm stalking
I'll take your soul and You'll
Be like me
In emptiness, free

Just bow to me faithfully
Bow to me splendidly

Craig Arko · May 17, 2016

Craig, I liked your post. I just want to keep some balance. I'll be the Ying to your Yang. (Geez, that didn't sound right)

Lies - And you fill their souls
With all oppressions of this world
And all the glory you receive?
So, What makes you supreme?
Lies - Your crown is falling
I offer fantasy
And you, you creator are
Blind with envy

Let the children come to me
Their mother loves me, so shall they
Woman, bleeding, ate my gifts
Man was close behind
Just like a snake I'm slithering
Thru my world divine
And like the cat I'm stalking
I'll take your soul and You'll
Be like me
In emptiness, free

Just bow to me faithfully
Bow to me splendidly

Dueling lyrics; like dueling banjos but with less drooling.

I can see very well

There's a boat on the reef with a broken back

And I can see it very well

There's a joke and I know it very well

It's one of those that I told you long ago

Take my word I'm a madman, don't you know

Once a fool had a good part in the play

If it's so would I still be here today

It's quite peculiar in a funny sort of way

They think it's very funny everything I say

Get a load of him, he's so insane

You better get your coat dear

It looks like rain, yeah

We'll come again next Thursday afternoon

The in-laws hope they'll see you very soon

But is it in your conscience that you're after

Another glimpse of the madman across the water

I can see very well

There's a boat on the reef with a broken back

And I can see it very well

There's a joke and I know it very well

It's one of those that I told you long ago

Take my word I'm a madman, don't you know

The ground's a long way down but I need more

Is the nightmare really black

Or are the windows painted

Will they come again next week

Can my mind really take it

We'll come again next Thursday afternoon

The in-laws hope they'll see you very soon

But is it in your conscience that you're after

Another glimpse of a madman across the water

USAFChief · May 17, 2016

Dueling lyrics; like dueling banjos but with less drooling.

I can see very well
There's a boat on the reef with a broken back
And I can see it very well
There's a joke and I know it very well
It's one of those that I told you long ago
Take my word I'm a madman, don't you know

Once a fool had a good part in the play
If it's so would I still be here today
It's quite peculiar in a funny sort of way
They think it's very funny everything I say
Get a load of him, he's so insane
You better get your coat dear
It looks like rain, yeah

We'll come again next Thursday afternoon
The in-laws hope they'll see you very soon
But is it in your conscience that you're after
Another glimpse of the madman across the water

I can see very well
There's a boat on the reef with a broken back
And I can see it very well
There's a joke and I know it very well
It's one of those that I told you long ago
Take my word I'm a madman, don't you know

The ground's a long way down but I need more
Is the nightmare really black
Or are the windows painted
Will they come again next week
Can my mind really take it

We'll come again next Thursday afternoon
The in-laws hope they'll see you very soon
But is it in your conscience that you're after
Another glimpse of a madman across the water

Levon wears his war wounds like a crown.

Calls his child Jesus (Montero).

ScrapTheNickname · May 17, 2016

Joe Nathan has the same Save Conversion Rate as Mariano Rivera: 89%. I hope he has a great comeback. Another x-Twin I think everyone roots for even though they are in an enemy uniform.

ScrapTheNickname · May 17, 2016

Twins Lineup

1. Joe Mauer (L) 1B
2. Jorge Polanco (S) SS
3. Miguel Sano ® RF
4. Byung Ho Park ® DH
5. Trevor Plouffe ® 3B
6. Brian Dozier ® 2B
7. Eddie Rosario (L) LF
8. Juan Centeno (L) C
9. Danny Santana (S) CF

Looks like a very solid lineup to me. (Although I'd like to see Rosario sent to the minors ...)

mickeymental · May 17, 2016

hold em under eight in the first and everything will fall into place.

Bark's Lounge · May 17, 2016

Dueling lyrics; like dueling banjos but with less drooling.

I can see very well
There's a boat on the reef with a broken back
And I can see it very well
There's a joke and I know it very well
It's one of those that I told you long ago
Take my word I'm a madman, don't you know

Once a fool had a good part in the play
If it's so would I still be here today
It's quite peculiar in a funny sort of way
They think it's very funny everything I say
Get a load of him, he's so insane
You better get your coat dear
It looks like rain, yeah

We'll come again next Thursday afternoon
The in-laws hope they'll see you very soon
But is it in your conscience that you're after
Another glimpse of the madman across the water

I can see very well
There's a boat on the reef with a broken back
And I can see it very well
There's a joke and I know it very well
It's one of those that I told you long ago
Take my word I'm a madman, don't you know

The ground's a long way down but I need more
Is the nightmare really black
Or are the windows painted
Will they come again next week
Can my mind really take it

We'll come again next Thursday afternoon
The in-laws hope they'll see you very soon
But is it in your conscience that you're after
Another glimpse of a madman across the water

I agree drooling is no good.

I woke the same as any other day
Except a voice was in my head
It said, "Seize the day, pull the trigger
Drop the blade and watch the rolling heads"

The day I tried to live
I stole a thousand beggar's change
And gave it to the rich, yeah

The day I tried to win
I dangled from the power lines
And let the martyrs stretch, yeah

Singing one more time around
(Might do it)
One more time around
(Might make it)

One more time around
(Might do it)
One more time around
(I might make it)
The day I tried to live

Words you say, never seem
To live up to the ones inside your head
The lives we make never seem
To ever get us anywhere but dead

The day I tried to live
I wallowed in the blood and mud
With all the other pigs, hey

Singing one more time around
(Might do it)
One more time around
(Might make it)

One more time around
(Might do it)
One more time around
(I might make it)

The day I tried to live, yeah, I tried

I woke the same as any other day you know
I should have stayed in bed

The day I tried to win I wallowed
In the blood and mud with all the other pigs

And I learned that I was a liar

Cap'n Piranha · May 17, 2016

Mauer 0 for his last 13. Someone get him some new sunglasses.

mikeee · May 17, 2016

big.

pelf.

Cap'n Piranha · May 17, 2016

Number 2 and 3 hitters are 19 for 37 this year against Hughes, with 11 XBH.

Winston Smith · May 17, 2016

Sano is very athletic!

Hosken Bombo Disco · May 17, 2016

very nice catch by Sano

if line drives were dropping tonight instead of being hit at people, the score would be 7-5 already

Platoon · May 17, 2016

Joe Nathan has the same Save Conversion Rate as Mariano Rivera: 89%. I hope he has a great comeback. Another x-Twin I think everyone roots for even though they are in an enemy uniform.

I think it was Kubel who hit a HR, otherwise Rivera would have been at 100% against our lads! (Or so it seemed)

sampleSizeOfOne · May 17, 2016

Dueling lyrics; like dueling banjos but with less drooling.

...

What's wrong with drooling?

Take me out to the ball game, take me out on a shark.

um...

Craig Arko · May 17, 2016

I agree drooling is no good.

I woke the same as any other day
Except a voice was in my head
It said, "Seize the day, pull the trigger
Drop the blade and watch the rolling heads"

The day I tried to live
I stole a thousand beggar's change
And gave it to the rich, yeah
The day I tried to win
I dangled from the power lines
And let the martyrs stretch, yeah

Singing one more time around
(Might do it)
One more time around
(Might make it)
One more time around
(Might do it)
One more time around
(I might make it)
The day I tried to live

Words you say, never seem
To live up to the ones inside your head
The lives we make never seem
To ever get us anywhere but dead

The day I tried to live
I wallowed in the blood and mud
With all the other pigs, hey

Singing one more time around
(Might do it)
One more time around
(Might make it)
One more time around
(Might do it)
One more time around
(I might make it)

The day I tried to live, yeah, I tried

I woke the same as any other day you know
I should have stayed in bed

The day I tried to win I wallowed
In the blood and mud with all the other pigs

And I learned that I was a liar

Okay, going for Double Jeopardy where the scores can really change.

I see trees of green, red roses too

I see them bloom for me and you

And I say to myself

What wonderful world

I see skies of blue and clouds of white

Bright sunny days, dark sacred nights

And I think to myself

What a wonderful world

The colors of the rainbow are so pretty in the skies

Are also on the faces of people walking by

I see friends shaking hands saying

How do you do?

They're really saying

I love you

I see babies cry, I watch them grow

They'll learn much more than I'll ever know

And I think to myself

What a wonderful world

Yes, I think to myself

What a wonderful world

And I say to myself

What a wonderful world.

kusko_andy · May 17, 2016

"And we head to the top of the third, in this pitcher's duel."

Really, Dick?

Twinsbar107 · May 17, 2016

"And we head to the top of the third, in this pitcher's duel."

Really, Dick?

What? Too soon?

Winston Smith · May 18, 2016

After next year big Pelf will have made $31,000,000 over five years with the Twins and Tigers.

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