Area Stepdads React to Twins Playoff Victory

[RandBalls Stu]

Wayne, Carl, Kent and others let down their guards, lace up their New Balances, and let us know their thoughts.

Image courtesy of Unsplash/Alexander Grey

You’ve read all the reactions from local sportswriters and watched the Gray/Correa pickoff play 75 times. Is there anything new to learn about the Twins' first playoff series victory since 2002? We asked some local stepfathers their thoughts.

Wayne Corcoran, Lino Lakes: Does anyone who works there know that all that champagne isn’t coming out of the carpet? It’s all gonna soak into the fabric and the pad, and that’s how you get fruit flies. And after that comes the black mold. It’ll be a pretty penny to get all that taken care of.

Carl Wenner, Madelia: We left after the 6th inning to beat traffic and get out of Scaryapolis before it got dark out.

Lance DeWald, Kimball: Getting these games done early on a school night. Man, that’s the dream, tell you what. Me and Ma had a nice supper and watched Blue Bloods before calling it a night.

Terry Kinser, Shoreview: Man oh man, I wish I had the tarp contract for all these celebrations. I bet they make a pretty penny selling that in.

Bruce Lindberg, Hutchinson: I listened to the game on my garage AM radio while my stepsons Kyler and Kody played Call of Duty for 12 hours in the living room. I tried to tell them the Twins won, and they called me a series of vile slurs, each one worse than the last, before demanding more pizza rolls from my beautiful third wife, Pam.

Leon Mason, Hudson, WI: Had a couple guys asking if they could knock off early to go watch the game. Told them that we play to the whistle here at Renaissance Adult Video Superstore and not to expect them to have their jobs waiting for them if they left.

Anyway, they left. People don’t want to work anymore.

Kent Anderson, Lakeville: Hockey players wouldn’t celebrate after winning a 3-game series. They wouldn’t even celebrate after winning the Cup. It’s a team sport, maybe these prima donnas haven’t heard of it. None of my kids talk to me.

Jim Burgmeier, Eyota: I don’t really pay attention to sports. When the civil defense system uses the tornado sirens to activate the 5G microchips in our bloodstream, sports are how The Regime distracts you. Not me. Always vigilant. Jim Burgmeier, out.

Thom Mortenson, St. Paul: Jack Morris pitched ten innings in Game 7. He’s from St. Paul. So is Paul Molitor. St Paul. Dave Winfield. Joe Mauer. Vulcans. St. Paul.

Lyle Tersteeg, Bird Island: Went to the game, saw they had a whole bunch of guys dragging the infield every three innings. What the heck kinda deal is that? Down at the park, we get Jer to do that on Big Mike’s old riding lawnmower and he gets that done lickety split. We oughta ship Jer to Target Field and save them a pretty penny.

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[Hrbeks Divot]

I live in Madelia (thanks for the shout out!) and was at both games. Didn’t leave early but do know a couple of Wenner’s. 🤣

[BobAzar]

Stu, I know you live in StP, as do I. You absolutely nailed it with "Thom". talking about St Paul MLB players is like 50% of my conversations. 

[Cory Engelhardt]

Someone's got to watch out for how to save all those pretty pennies. It's funny though that it wasn't anyone being called Pohlad pocket protectors :)

[DocBauer]

Renaissance Adult Video Store? 5G microchips activated by tornado sirens?

LMAO! Classic stuff!

[DJL44]

My wife was wondering how they clean the carpet too.

[Dave Borton]

Quote

lace up their New Balances

Oofdah. Take it easy on us NB wearers. We are a might thin skinned. 

 

 

[ashbury]

Delta Airlines texted me at the top of the third inning Wednesday to offer me two drink vouchers if I would take the earlier flight home out of MSP, so of course I accepted and departed Target Field immediately.  Lots of empty seats on that flight so I had Row 29 all to myself.  Score!

[Castinofan]

Hilarious. I can just hear these guys saying these things.  You should send this to the Cohen brothers.  

[Rod Carews Birthday]

Another great article.  Is there anybody out there who doesn’t know at least a couple of these guys?

 

[sampleSizeOfOne]

37 minutes ago, ashbury said:

Delta Airlines texted me at the top of the third inning Wednesday to offer me two drink vouchers if I would take the earlier flight home out of MSP, so of course I accepted and departed Target Field immediately.  Lots of empty seats on that flight so I had Row 29 all to myself.  Score!

What drinks?

[sampleSizeOfOne]

4 hours ago, RandBalls Stu said:

Vulcans. St. Paul.

Wait a minute...

is this true?

Apparently i meed to catch up on the new Star Trek shows. 

Guess i'll be binging it, i only hope i can catch up before they play Houston. (PS and the little brown jug)

 

Edited October 6, 2023 by sampleSizeOfOne
oh oh oh, ee ee ee...

[MNBearCat]

Great article, but gotta update that New Balance given that they're trendy (again). Skechers or Allbirds would be appropriate substitutes.

[ashbury]

40 minutes ago, sampleSizeOfOne said:

What drinks?

That would explain why he doesn't play second base anymore.

[Nine of twelve]

5 hours ago, RandBalls Stu said:

...lace up their New Balances...

 

This is for real: Google "dad shoes" and check out the first image. (It's what I wear, by the way.)

[sampleSizeOfOne]

10 hours ago, Nine of twelve said:

This is for real: Google "dad shoes" and check out the first image. (It's what I wear, by the way.)

But does it come up first for step-dad shoes? Or does the step in step-dad just means they are ambulatory?

 

And i might like New Balance... I recall being disillusioned with new shoes, frequenting used clothing stores until i found a shoe i liked, looking up that brand, and being disappointed. New Balance had just bought them (and implicitly, discontinued them)

If there is a reason i can't have nice things, it is probably because i haven't figured out what nice means yet, at least for me.

[sampleSizeOfOne]

11 hours ago, ashbury said:

That would explain why he doesn't play second base anymore.

He's earned champaign by now...

[sampleSizeOfOne]

11 hours ago, sampleSizeOfOne said:

12 hours ago, ashbury said:

Delta Airlines texted me at the top of the third inning Wednesday to offer me two drink vouchers if I would take the earlier flight home out of MSP, so of course I accepted and departed Target Field immediately.  Lots of empty seats on that flight so I had Row 29 all to myself.  Score!

What drinks?

Let me rephrase that...

And you redeem the vouchers for...?