Game Thread Twins vs Reds 8/4/21 11:35 AM CDT

[Dave The Dastardly]

RERUN WARNING

I’m pressed for time, it’s an early game and I happen to really like this game thread intro I did way back in 1918. Result: Cop-out Re-run. Maybe if we're lucky we'll have a rerun win from yesterday.

Read ‘em and weep. You’re on your own from here.

 

Lucius Quinctius Cincinnatus

 

 

 
 
It’s a little known fact that Cincinnati was actually named after a Roman general, Lucius Quinctius Cincinnatus. According to legend, Cincinnatus, as he was called for long, Quint for short, had retired to his vineyard on the outskirts of Rome for a little R&R (rose˙ and roscato) with his main squeeze (get it? grapes... squeeze...wine?) and was having a foot-stomping good time when the Roman patricians, who’d run up a hell of a bill on their Visa card while living high off the hog, came calling. That’s calling as “stopping by” because Verizon hadn’t put up any cell towers on the Seven Hills yet.
 
Anyway, the plebians were raising hell back in Rome and the official Roman army, all patricians, had gotten themselves surrounded by a bunch of bill collectors while out plundering and pillaging the countryside and so far had been unable to return to Rome and suppress the riots. Since the plebians’ main grump was the cost of beer at the Coliseum, the Romans thought if Cincinnatus returned to Rome with a keg or two of his best roscato and maybe rolled a few doobies with the plebians he could get them to mellow out long enough to sign up for a new army and he could then lead them off to rescue the patricians. You know, like the little guy always has to bail out the pillagers and plunderers.
 
“Like what’s in it for me, man?” Quint asked the committee leader.
 
“How about we make you Dictator For A Day?” the committee leader proposed.
 
Quint laughed like Oddball in Kelly’s Heroes. “I dig those positive waves, man!”
 

 

So Luscious, that’s what his main squeeze called him, for reasons we don’t want to go into, loaded up a Sherman tank with his best rose’ and a roscato with an interesting but bold bouquet and went back to Rome to cut a deal with the plebians. The plebes, historically short-sighted, got wasted and sold out for free tickets to the next home game, nose-bleed seats, because you know, they were always out for blood at the Coliseum. The stoners then climbed aboard the Sherman with their new buddy Quint and drove off to rescue the patricians, who after being saved promptly raised season ticket prices at the Coliseum and reduced beer sizes to 12 ounces from the previous 16 ounces but kept the price the same so they could pay off the bill collectors, who were actually mob leg-breakers that were charging the patricians 100% vigorish... you know, because we’re talking Italy here. Capisce?
 
Quint, or Luscious if you want to call him that, tastefully of course, did his Dictator for A Day thing and declared that for now and forever his rose˙ and roscato would be the only wines sold at the Coliseum and that heretofore (gotta throw in a little lawyer talk so I don’t get sued) those wines shall be officially known as the Cincinnati Reds.
 
Vini, vidi, vice.
 

Throwing Grapes for Today’s Whinefest:
 
Twins: Charlie Barnes   0-1   ERA 1.93   1K
 
Reds: Luis Castillo   5-10   ERA 4.22   121K
 
 Line-ups

Twins
Max Kepler  CF .207
Brent Rooker LF .203
Jorge Polanco SS .271
Luis Arraez 3B .302
Miguel Sano 1B .210
Trevor Larnach RF .225
Nick Gordon 2B .250
Ryan Jeffers C .205
Charlie Barnes P

Reds
Indiana Jones 2B .279
Jesse “Blink” Winker  LF .304
Kyle “Grain” Farmer SS .258
Joey “The Motah” Votto 1B .272
Tyler “Stephano” Stephenson C .278
Eugenio “Suez” Suarez 3B .175
Aristades “Vino” Aguino RF .222
Shogo “Shogun” Akiyama CF .207
Luis “The Limiter” Castillo P

[wsnydes]

Man...no wonder I did so poorly in history class.  

[sampleSizeOfOne]

40 minutes ago, wsnydes said:

Man...no wonder I did so poorly in history class.  

Ha!

 

You took history?

 

One born every minute...

[sampleSizeOfOne]

1 hour ago, Dave The Dastardly said:

Twins
Max Kepler  CF .207
Brent Rooker LF .203
Jorge Polanco SS .271
Luis Arraez 3B .302
Miguel Sano 1B .210
Trevor Larnach RF .225
Nick Gordon 2B .250
Ryan Jeffers C .205
Charlie Barnes P

Reds
Indiana Jones 2B .279
Jesse “Blink” Winker  LF .304
Kyle “Grain” Farmer SS .258
Joey “The Motah” Votto 1B .272
Tyler “Stephano” Stephenson C .278
Eugenio “Suez” Suarez 3B .175
Aristades “Vino” Aguino RF .222
Shogo “Shogun” Akiyama CF .207
Luis “The Limiter” Castillo P

How come the other team has more interesting names? Can they afford a PR department?

[wsnydes]

1 minute ago, sampleSizeOfOne said:

Ha!

 

You took history?

 

One born every minute...

Didn't have a choice in the matter.  Something about required curriculum.

Surely would have been valedictorian if it were not for history class.  /s

[wsnydes]

En fuego!

[sampleSizeOfOne]

Polanco!!!!

[PDX Twin]

Why would you bat Arraez 4th? He gets his usual single *after* the homerun and *before* the automatic out.

[sampleSizeOfOne]

Rooker catches that. 

 

As expected.

[sampleSizeOfOne]

5 minutes ago, PDX Twin said:

Why would you bat Arraez 4th? He gets his usual single *after* the homerun and *before* the automatic out.

I don't know. Maybe we don't what is going to happen until after it happens?

 

Maybe it wouldn't have been sporting of us?

[mnfireman]

8 minutes ago, PDX Twin said:

Why would you bat Arraez 4th? He gets his usual single *after* the homerun and *before* the automatic out.

I have decided it is better for my mental health to stop questioning Baldelli's line-ups....

[PDX Twin]

Both on the ground ball and on the blooper in the field Kepler looked a step slow to me (at least slower than I wanted him to be!). Is he carrying and knock of some kind?

[Aggies7]

this umpire is atrocious

[wsnydes]

Votto.  He's good.

[wsnydes]

Clutch two out hitting.  Very nice.

[Danchat]

I checked the game out 10 minutes ago, saw Barnes had 0 runs allowed in 2.2 IP, thought ‘not bad’! Famous last words there...

[wsnydes]

Where leadoff doubles go to die...

[wsnydes]

I'm listening on the radio and these base hits sound like they're crushed.  Doesn't sound like Barnes is fooling anyone.

[Aggies7]

seriously, is this umpire drunk?

[wsnydes]

1 for 6 with RISP

[RickOShea]

36 minutes ago, wsnydes said:

I'm listening on the radio and these base hits sound like they're crushed.  Doesn't sound like Barnes is fooling anyone.

only Baldelli

[wavedog]

On the positive side Sano and Larnach did not strike out.    

[Twodogs]

I know Minaya has been a reliever most of his career, but dang he's thrown quite a few pitches this outing, I wonder if he has the ability, or pitch selection to be a starter??  He throws hard and he's dang near thrown 50 pitches?

[wsnydes]

1 for 7 with RISP.

[RpR]

Trailing by 4 put Burrows in , BRILLIANT!

[wavedog]

42 minutes ago, wavedog said:

On the positive side Sano and Larnach did not strike out.    

.....and both doubled this inning  - heating up!  

[Danchat]

Make that 3 for 9 RISP!

[wsnydes]

1 minute ago, wavedog said:

.....and both doubled this inning  - heating up!  

baby steps.  Not striking out then the hits follow.

[wavedog]

Speaking of baby steps - Gordon advancing the runner to third

[Brock Beauchamp]

Now that I've tuned in, watch the weak pop-ups begin to fly.