Minnesota Twins Whine Line: Season 3

[USAFChief]

 

Some decisions are beyond moderator control, so ... who's pocket are you in anyway? I smell a scandal, but it's likely you won't investigate yourself and will only deflect to the moderators ... again.

sad!

[wsnydes]

 

 

And, what is it with Santana? By all  accounts, he should be asking if "you want fries with that" yet he lingers with the Twins. Why? 

I think the easy answer to this is that he can do many things in the kitchen; flip burgers, man the fryer, take orders, work a drive-thru, etc but does them all about a nearly worst in the biz level.

[Vanimal46]

 

So Van...tough question for you early in the show.   Who's going to cover more of the outfield at Target Field this season?  Byron Buxton or Billy Joel?

 

This is a true toss-up question! Our hard-core analytics person (the Intern) says it's going to be Buxton.... But we only believe in HAWT taeks here.... So Billy Joel it is! 

[Vanimal46]

 

people are saying that everything in the gift shop at the scorching hot lounge is made in china. any truth to the rumor?

 

Mickey! Welcome back to the show! These rumors are ALTERNATIVE facts... All of our merchandise is made personally by North. We need to give our friendly neighbors in Canada a bone every once in a while! 

[wsnydes]

 

This is a true toss-up question! Our hard-core analytics person (the Intern) says it's going to be Buxton.... But we only believe in HAWT taeks here.... So Billy Joel it is! 

Follow up question; who has more #1 hits?  Buxton batting leadoff or Billy Joel's catalog?

[Vanimal46]

 

Hey Van, I have a quick one for ya.'

2017 Minnesota Twins: best team in MLB this year or greatest team in MLB this year?

 

Dinger, you can't even HANDLE how good the Twins are going to be this year! Are you a BELIEVER? If you're not, get out of our SCORCHING HOT Lounge. 

[Vanimal46]

 

Some decisions are beyond moderator control, so ... who's pocket are you in anyway? I smell a scandal, but it's likely you won't investigate yourself and will only deflect to the moderators ... again.

 

I would be happy to provide my tax returns, but I'm currently being audited.... Soooo.... 

How about those Twins?!

 

EDIT: Any past scandals should be blamed on snepp! 

[Squirrel]

 

sad!

And the mono-syllabic Chief chimes in again ...

 

 

[Squirrel]

 

 

EDIT: Any past scandals should be blamed on snepp! 

I'm good with that. Excellent response. Very tactfully political.

[Vanimal46]

 

Joe Mauer.

 

Woah.... This is a HAWT taek where I needed to grab oven mitts before typing. Joe Mauer is a male, who used to be a catcher, and now wears sunglasses. That's all the info we have so far! 

[GP830]

 

Can any Russians pitch?

They do employ a lot of unexpected K's...

[Vanimal46]

 

I think the easy answer to this is that he can do many things in the kitchen; flip burgers, man the fryer, take orders, work a drive-thru, etc but does them all about a nearly worst in the biz level.

 

His versatility translates everywhere in real life too! Need him to sweep up a floor? He can do that! Do you also need him to make a Moscow Mule? He can also do that! My god.... The versatility, man! No wonder why he's still employed. 

[Pardon My Dinger]

Dinger, you can't even HANDLE how good the Twins are going to be this year! Are you a BELIEVER? If you're not, get out of our SCORCHING HOT Lounge.

Just answer the damn question!

[Vanimal46]

 

The far more important question is whether or not he's had contact with the Russians?

 

У меня нет никаких связей с русскими

 

*cough cough*

What I meant to say was I have not had ANY affiliation with Russians in my life. 

[Craig Arko]

 

У меня нет никаких связей с русскими

 

*cough cough*

What I meant to say was I have not had ANY affiliation with Russians in my life. 

Я не вдыхал

[ScrapTheNickname]

 

I am confident everything is going to go smoothly this season that this thread will just be collecting dust.  I anticipate some activity when we blow game 4 of the World Series and miss out on a sweep victory.

You, my friend, have never really learned to whine. It is an art form that is required even in the best of times. If you can't whine while you're ahead, then you should be sent back a grade. Am I not right, Van?

[USAFChief]

 

And the mono-syllabic Chief chimes in again ...

False!

 

I'm of northern European descent.

[Squirrel]

 

False!

 

 

I don't know, Chief ... I think you need to take one of those DNA tests and find out who among us are your cousins.

[Vanimal46]

 

I don't know, Chief ... I think you need to take one of those DNA tests and find out who among us are your cousins.

 

We all know there's a Mikhail in his family tree! 

[wsnydes]

 

I don't know, Chief ... I think you need to take one of those DNA tests and find out who among us are your cousins.

I took the liberty of lining up a results show on Maury.  It's scheduled for the off day after Opening Day.  I thought the timing to be perfect.

[ashbury]

Eeeek ... didn't mean for my post to reflect anything that might be happening in current affairs. Was referencing van's investigative reporting on ModeratorGate. And absolutely nothing else.

 

The similarities were purely coincidental.

 

 

_{And if you can't see, I'm wearing a halo of innocence as I typed that.}

I have recused myself on this matter.

[USAFChief]

Long time, many time, etc etc

 

Van, my man...not baseball related, but do you think the Gophs can knock off Sparty in the B1G tourney Friday?

 

Thanks, I'll hang up and await your hot take off the air. Great show!!1!

[twinssporto]

Van Man, need some help!  I can't seem to give away any of my Twins season tickets.  I've tried leaving them in restroom stalls, McDonalds, even orphanages.  No one seems to want them.  Any other ideas?

 

Desperate....

[Pardon My Dinger]

Van Man, need some help! I can't seem to give away any of my Twins season tickets. I've tried leaving them in restroom stalls, McDonalds, even orphanages. No one seems to want them. Any other ideas?

 

Desperate....

You can get $0.75/lb at the recycling plant for undesired paper goods. Really adds up, actually.

[Oldgoat_MN]

 

Van Man, need some help!  I can't seem to give away any of my Twins season tickets.  I've tried leaving them in restroom stalls, McDonalds, even orphanages.  No one seems to want them.  Any other ideas?

 

Desperate....

Find a charity you hate and donate them.

You get get a tax write-off and the charity has to tell people that this is what they have to offer folks, resulting in a loss of esteem and a drop in donations.

This is actually a great plan! We could bring down Aryan Nation with this!

Win/win!

 

[Vanimal46]

Long time, many time, etc etc

 

Van, my man...not baseball related, but do you think the Gophs can knock off Sparty in the B1G tourney Friday?

 

Thanks, I'll hang up and await your hot take off the air. Great show!!1!

Chief! Welcome back to the show! I am EXTREMELY concerned with their mental toughness this year. As we all know, mental toughness can only be achieved living in below zero temps. Blizzard after blizzard... Walking uphill to school and home both ways!

 

From all I've heard, Minnesota had a mild winter... How can they get TOUGH?!

 

My money is on the school from Michigan. They come from tough guy towns that do manly chores like changing the oil in their car! They're not paying someone else to do that for them, no siree...

[snepp]

 

I would be happy to provide my tax returns, but I'm currently being audited.... Soooo.... 

How about those Twins?!

 

EDIT: Any past scandals should be blamed on snepp! 

 

I was/am unaware of any discussions with the Russians that may or may not have occurred in or out of my presence.

[D. Hocking]

Behind the scenes pics of the producers of this show.  Make of it what you will.

 

[Vanimal46]

 

Behind the scenes pics of the producers of this show.  Make of it what you will.

 

 

I forgot to put this nugget in the intro...

Executive Producer: Denny Hocking

Associate Producer: Bark's Lounge and TwinsNorth

[D. Hocking]

This would probably be more appropriate for TwinsNorth: