Minnesota Twins Whine Line: Season 3

[LimestoneBaggy]

Hey Van,

 

What's the over-under on the Twins rotation actually being better at creating runs in inter-league games with the lumber than preventing runs during the rest of the season? I'll hang up, finish my moonshine, and cry in the corner while I listen to your answer.

 

Link for visual aid (throw back to our boy Vogel in 2012) http://bleacherreport.com/articles/1339345-ranking-the-10-worst-regular-starting-pitchers-in-baseball-today  

[Vanimal46]

 

Hey Van,

 

What's the over-under on the Twins rotation actually being better at creating runs in inter-league games with the lumber than preventing runs during the rest of the season? I'll hang up, finish my moonshine, and cry in the corner while I listen to your answer.

 

Link for visual aid (throw back to our boy Vogel in 2012) http://bleacherreport.com/articles/1339345-ranking-the-10-worst-regular-starting-pitchers-in-baseball-today

 

Limestone! Welcome to the show! I LOVE the outside of the box question... Unfortunately I don't think the rotation is going to do well with the lumber this season.... What veterans are there to help them with swinging the stick? LaTroy went 0-8 with 7 K's in his career, so he's not the guy. We all know the gold standard for pitchers hitting, and that's Bartolo:

 

 

I would feel so much better if a veteran like Bartolo was on the team showing these youngsters how to hit a baseball! 

[Bark's Lounge]

 

Another great question! Now, whenever I'm looking for work, I usually go in the employee's only entrance of their building and demand to speak to whoever makes hires at that place... If they don't tell me the person's name, then I open up a briefcase that's spring loaded with 200 of my resumes, and shoot the resumes in the air. It's usually quite the display! 

If all else fails, you can always take it to the STREETS, and see if anyone will hire you there. The more creative the sign, the better your odds. Good luck! 

 

That's me on a good day. Usually I ask for $6.

[snepp]

Is it against the rules to ask for change when giving a hand-out?

[Hosken Bombo Disco]

Hey Van, while waiting on hold just now, I had an epiphany that it's going to be a long season. I might become a regular caller. 

 

Can I get a moniker? 

 

Something catchy, somewhere in between "young guy" and "clubhouse veteran."  What do you think? Thanks!

 

 

[Blake]

 

Hey Van, while waiting on hold just now, I had an epiphany that it's going to be a long season. I might become a regular caller. 

 

Can I get a moniker? 

 

Something catchy, somewhere in between "young guy" and "clubhouse veteran."  What do you think? Thanks!

DiscoHobo?

[Blake]

 

Limestone! Welcome to the show! I LOVE the outside of the box question... Unfortunately I don't think the rotation is going to do well with the lumber this season.... What veterans are there to help them with swinging the stick? LaTroy went 0-8 with 7 K's in his career, so he's not the guy. We all know the gold standard for pitchers hitting, and that's Bartolo:

 

 

I would feel so much better if a veteran like Bartolo was on the team showing these youngsters how to hit a baseball! 

So, you think Colon was somewhat surprised by making contact? Do you think his knees let him know they really weren't up to this nonsense? Looking at the way Colon sort of jogged into second, I have to believe he was thinking "Oh Crap, I have to make it all the way to second."

 

Your thoughts?

[Vanimal46]

ANNND Welcome back! To Minnesota Twins Whine Line: Daycare Edition! Lots of things have changed since the last time we were on the air! Also, a lot of things have stayed the same.... We've got a special little bit for you before we move on to your HAWT taeks, questions, concerns, and compliments. 

*Spotlight, camera zooms in on a relatively trustworthy man in a suit*

Hello, and welcome to Whine Line Daycare! We appreciate your interest in having your little one join this exclusive organization! We know why you're here.... Little Johnny is a promising young pitcher, isn't he!

http://i2.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/012/982/post-19715-Brent-Rambo-gif-thumbs-up-imgu-L3yP.gif 

 

 

Ohhh yeah, you bet he's a good little pitcher! I bet you have tried looking into White Sox daycare, and realize "Who's going to teach my little Johnny the ins and outs of major league pitching?" If I had a nickel for every time a parent asked me that question, well, I wouldn't be the spokesperson in this infomercial today! 

MOST MLB teams claim they'll take special care of your young ones... When in reality, they just let him go out and do things on his own! NO CONSTANT ATTENTION..... 

Here at Whine Line Daycare, we CARE about your little guy.... In fact, NO ONE ELSE in the majors can say they have a 3:1 Veteran to Prospect ratio! Not only will our dedicated veterans show little Johnny how to pitch, they'll also tell him what to eat, when they should take naps, and when they're allowed to relax and play MLB the Show. 

 

Other daycares cost up to $750 a day, and have 3:1 prospect to veteran ratio.... NOT HERE at Whine Line Daycare! For the low, low cost of $250 a day, you can be sure that little Johnny is going to get constant attention, and a minimal shot at making the opening day roster! 

Call now for a free consultation! 

[Mike Sixel]

A 103 loss team gets older, not younger. thoughts?

[Vanimal46]

 

A 103 loss team gets older, not younger. thoughts?

 

Maybe they cracked an analytics code and saw the older a team gets, the more wins they have? OR, they really want to be Whine Line Daycare and have the best veteran to prospect ratio in the majors! 

[USAFChief]

Hey Van...what would a popular hypothetical baseball related website--lets call it, uh, Blingz Baily--need to do to get people to sign up for game thread duty?

[Vanimal46]

Hey Van...what would a popular hypothetical baseball related website--lets call it, uh, Blingz Baily--need to do to get people to sign up for game thread duty?

Chief, if we were on Blingz Baily, I would convince diehard to offer up shots of Minnesota Moonshine to anyone willing to volunteer for a game thread... Or better yet, his SHARES of Minnesota Moonshine! Have you seen what the bullpen looks like?! All of their financial models are off..... Any investor is sleeping in a bed full of cash!

[Blake]

 

ANNND Welcome back! To Minnesota Twins Whine Line: Daycare Edition! Lots of things have changed since the last time we were on the air! Also, a lot of things have stayed the same.... We've got a special little bit for you before we move on to your HAWT taeks, questions, concerns, and compliments. 

*Spotlight, camera zooms in on a relatively trustworthy man in a suit*

Hello, and welcome to Whine Line Daycare! We appreciate your interest in having your little one join this exclusive organization! We know why you're here.... Little Johnny is a promising young pitcher, isn't he!

http://i2.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/012/982/post-19715-Brent-Rambo-gif-thumbs-up-imgu-L3yP.gif

 

 

Ohhh yeah, you bet he's a good little pitcher! I bet you have tried looking into White Sox daycare, and realize "Who's going to teach my little Johnny the ins and outs of major league pitching?" If I had a nickel for every time a parent asked me that question, well, I wouldn't be the spokesperson in this infomercial today! 

MOST MLB teams claim they'll take special care of your young ones... When in reality, they just let him go out and do things on his own! NO CONSTANT ATTENTION..... 

Here at Whine Line Daycare, we CARE about your little guy.... In fact, NO ONE ELSE in the majors can say they have a 3:1 Veteran to Prospect ratio! Not only will our dedicated veterans show little Johnny how to pitch, they'll also tell him what to eat, when they should take naps, and when they're allowed to relax and play MLB the Show. 

 

Other daycares cost up to $750 a day, and have 3:1 prospect to veteran ratio.... NOT HERE at Whine Line Daycare! For the low, low cost of $250 a day, you can be sure that little Johnny is going to get constant attention, and a minimal shot at making the opening day roster! 

Call now for a free consultation! 

Do the veterans also help the youngsters with the curve ball, cliches and shower shoes?

[Mike Sixel]

Van, intern, someone.....

 

 

I love the whine line (most days, well some days, occasionally I guess)....anyway, if the Twins keep on winning at this pace, will you be changing your format?

[Vanimal46]

Van, intern, someone.....

 

 

I love the whine line (most days, well some days, occasionally I guess)....anyway, if the Twins keep on winning at this pace, will you be changing your format?

Have no fear, Mike. Whether the Twins are 40-10 or 10-40 the format will remain the same! NO ONE can deny us from hawt taeks throughout the season!