Game Thread: Twins @ Tigers, 5/17/16 @6:10pm CT

[Comrade Bork]

My day as a 26 year old GM.
A Perspective.
If John Chayka (see Arizona Coyotes) can do it, so can I.

 

         After the dust settled, Terry was nowhere to be seen.  There were theories of course.  Spontaneous combustion was a popular one for a while.  It covered all the facts, Terry, already born down by unforeseeable poor play this season, combusted after a top prospect got shelled.  The Negativity Police arrived too late.

 

Some thought that he was sent back in time as a gift from the Pohlads.  Back to a time when baseball was simpler and the boys could just play.  Rumor said he worked for some Ohio team.  The spiders or something?

 

Others think he simply went to retire in Arizona and no one happened to notice.

 

The real story may never be known.  All I know is that the Creature some call the Pohlads approached me in the night and anointed me GM.  I know.  I was as shocked as you are.  My mind was racing as the Creature faded back into the shadows.  I was terrified.  How could I possibly turn this dumpster fire of a team into a glorious bonfire?  It was a mystery I couldn't solve.  My last thought before sleep enveloped me was " I wish Buxton would hit".

The next morning, as I was wondering vaguely if everything had been a dream,  epiphany came suddenly.  I knew what to do!  I knew how to fix everything! The answers were right before my eyes! 

How could Terry have missed it!?! 

A glorious fount of knowledge, a beacon of hope and optimism!

TwinsDaily.com!
With you posters at my side we cannot fail!

Before the Pohlad Creature encounter I was but a simple casual poster, but now...
Now I can feel the power flowing through me!
The changes I could make!
The Pohlad money I could try and spend!
To glory Comrades!.....

They came for me an hour later.
Told me its, "not cool" to lock old guys in their closets over night and that I must refer to the Pohlads as "human beings"  (shiver).
 

I went with dignity, as befitting my rank as ex-GM of the Minnesota Twins
-------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Hello!

-I got a late start on the Twins last night.  As I arrived at the bar that provides my free access to cable last night, Martinez was dropping the ball in right field.  yay!   It quickly became apparent that I missed a nuts game and that it was fortuitous that I was at a bar because drinks were needed to finish the game..  However lets hope that the Twins put up another 8 spot on them Tigers, but get the win this time!

 

-Despite their struggles, the Twins have still been interesting and fun to watch.  Interesting in the way people slow down on the freeway to look at an accident.  Fascinating

-I'm not saying Torii would've fixed this team, but there does seem to be a little somethin missing.

 

http://i.imgur.com/8weXXNu.gifv

 

Weather

Picture the beautiful Twin Cities today.  62 and mostly sunny.  Now picture 60 and mostly cloudy and you get Detroit.  So, you know, just a little worse.
63 and sunny at the cabin northwest of the BWCA!


Minnesota Twins:
SP- Phil Hughes ®  (1-6, 6.44)  At least he looks like he's concentrating when he is getting shelled

 

TBA

Molly is a slowpoke and I gotta run!

Detroit Tigers:
SP- Mike Pelfrey!  ®  (0-4, 5.80)
They say looks aren't everything..  Pelfrey's fastball looks like it still has no movement.
I am happier as a Twins fan knowing that someone else took a gamble on Pelf.

 

1. Ian Kinsler ® 2B
2. J.D. Martinez ® RF
3. Miguel Cabrera ® 1B
4. Victor Martinez (S) DH
5. Nick Castellanos ® 3B
6. Justin Upton ® LF
7. Cameron Maybin ® CF
8. James McCann ® C
9. Jose Iglesias ® SS

 

 

Fun Stuff
-Buxton has back spasms

-Berrios sent down,  LaVelle E. Neal per KFAN theorizes possible spot start by Pat Dean

-The Twins signed some outfielder named Grossman and put him in Rochester.  Pressure on Rosario/Santana?

-Braves fire manager Gonzalez.  Is Molitor starting to feel the heat?    lol jk  Pohlads amirite?

 

-Vegas has the over/under on runs scored at 9.5  The highest of any game today.

It's like Vegas doesnt trust either of these pitchers.

-Joe Nathan just signed a deal with the Cubs.  Another ex Twin angling for a ring?
-Hi Mom!

-Oh, and this is what its like when Park hits a home run

 

PARK BANG!
Homeryung Byung?

 

Go Twins!  Get that win!

[USAFChief]

Thanks, comrade!  

 

Solidarity!

[gocgo]

Thank you sir!  I've decided to step back and take a Uekeristic approach to the rest of the season.  

 

Bob Ueker once said "Hey, I think it's easy for guys to hit .300 and stay in the big leagues. Hit .200 and try to stick around as long as I did; I think it's a much greater accomplishment. That's hard."

 

The way I see it, most of the Twins players might already be taking this approach.  When you think about it, they are going above and beyond in a Bob Ueker way.

[Craig Arko]

Bozhe moi.

 

Or yours, anyway, since I operate at a deficit in that area.

[Comrade Bork]

Twins Lineup

 

1. Joe Mauer (L) 1B

2. Jorge Polanco (S) SS

3. Miguel Sano ® RF

4. Byung Ho Park ® DH

5. Trevor Plouffe ® 3B

6. Brian Dozier ® 2B

7. Eddie Rosario (L) LF

8. Juan Centeno (L) C

9. Danny Santana (S) CF

[Negativity Police]

 

 

The Negativity Police arrived too late.

 

Some thought that he was sent back in time as a gift from the Pohlads.  Back to a time when baseball was simpler and the boys could just play.  Rumor said he worked for some Ohio team.  The spiders or something?

 

Others think he simply went to retire in Arizona and no one happened to notice.

Gone drinkin.'

[Craig Arko]

 

Gone drinkin.'

You are wise beyond words.

[HitInAPinch]

Nunez finally getting a day off.  Twins still determined to run DanSan into the ground....

And Juan "The Hammer" Centeno catching!

[Bark's Lounge]

 

Gone drinkin.'

I think it is quite noble of you to shun your planet to assist TwinsDaily. The collective TD negativity readings must be off the charts. (gulp)

[Craig Arko]

Gray skies are gonna clear up

Put on a happy face

Brush off the clouds and cheer up

Put on a happy face

 

Take off that gloomy mask of tragedy

It's not your style

You'll look so good that you'll be glad

You decided to smile

 

Pick out a pleasant outlook

Stick out that noble chin

Wipe off that full of doubt look

Slap on a happy grin

 

And spread sunshine all over the place

Just put on a happy face

[Reider]

I like the batting order today.

 

I'm not surprised by the over / under (9.5) on runs scored today. With Hughes and Pelfrey pitching, I wouldn't be surprised if it was higher either.

[Winston Smith]

Let's hope there isn't a lot of negativity about the negativity. That gets into complicated math which, I've been told, isn't allowed in game threads.

[Bark's Lounge]

 

Gray skies are gonna clear up
Put on a happy face
Brush off the clouds and cheer up
Put on a happy face

Take off that gloomy mask of tragedy
It's not your style
You'll look so good that you'll be glad
You decided to smile

Pick out a pleasant outlook
Stick out that noble chin
Wipe off that full of doubt look
Slap on a happy grin

And spread sunshine all over the place
Just put on a happy face

Craig, I liked your post. I just want to keep some balance. I'll be the Ying to your Yang. (Geez, that didn't sound right)

 

Lies - And you fill their souls
With all oppressions of this world
And all the glory you receive?
So, What makes you supreme?
Lies - Your crown is falling
I offer fantasy
And you, you creator are
Blind with envy

 

Let the children come to me
Their mother loves me, so shall they
Woman, bleeding, ate my gifts
Man was close behind
Just like a snake I'm slithering
Thru my world divine
And like the cat I'm stalking
I'll take your soul and You'll
Be like me
In emptiness, free

 

Just bow to me faithfully
Bow to me splendidly

[Craig Arko]

Craig, I liked your post. I just want to keep some balance. I'll be the Ying to your Yang. (Geez, that didn't sound right)

 

Lies - And you fill their souls

With all oppressions of this world

And all the glory you receive?

So, What makes you supreme?

Lies - Your crown is falling

I offer fantasy

And you, you creator are

Blind with envy

 

Let the children come to me

Their mother loves me, so shall they

Woman, bleeding, ate my gifts

Man was close behind

Just like a snake I'm slithering

Thru my world divine

And like the cat I'm stalking

I'll take your soul and You'll

Be like me

In emptiness, free

 

Just bow to me faithfully

Bow to me splendidly

Dueling lyrics; like dueling banjos but with less drooling.

 

I can see very well

There's a boat on the reef with a broken back

And I can see it very well

There's a joke and I know it very well

It's one of those that I told you long ago

Take my word I'm a madman, don't you know

 

Once a fool had a good part in the play

If it's so would I still be here today

It's quite peculiar in a funny sort of way

They think it's very funny everything I say

Get a load of him, he's so insane

You better get your coat dear

It looks like rain, yeah

 

We'll come again next Thursday afternoon

The in-laws hope they'll see you very soon

But is it in your conscience that you're after

Another glimpse of the madman across the water

 

I can see very well

There's a boat on the reef with a broken back

And I can see it very well

There's a joke and I know it very well

It's one of those that I told you long ago

Take my word I'm a madman, don't you know

 

The ground's a long way down but I need more

Is the nightmare really black

Or are the windows painted

Will they come again next week

Can my mind really take it

 

We'll come again next Thursday afternoon

The in-laws hope they'll see you very soon

But is it in your conscience that you're after

Another glimpse of a madman across the water

[USAFChief]

 

Dueling lyrics; like dueling banjos but with less drooling.

I can see very well
There's a boat on the reef with a broken back
And I can see it very well
There's a joke and I know it very well
It's one of those that I told you long ago
Take my word I'm a madman, don't you know

Once a fool had a good part in the play
If it's so would I still be here today
It's quite peculiar in a funny sort of way
They think it's very funny everything I say
Get a load of him, he's so insane
You better get your coat dear
It looks like rain, yeah

We'll come again next Thursday afternoon
The in-laws hope they'll see you very soon
But is it in your conscience that you're after
Another glimpse of the madman across the water

I can see very well
There's a boat on the reef with a broken back
And I can see it very well
There's a joke and I know it very well
It's one of those that I told you long ago
Take my word I'm a madman, don't you know

The ground's a long way down but I need more
Is the nightmare really black
Or are the windows painted
Will they come again next week
Can my mind really take it

We'll come again next Thursday afternoon
The in-laws hope they'll see you very soon
But is it in your conscience that you're after
Another glimpse of a madman across the water

Levon wears his war wounds like a crown.

Calls his child Jesus (Montero).

[ScrapTheNickname]

Joe Nathan has the same Save Conversion Rate as Mariano Rivera: 89%. I hope he has a great comeback. Another x-Twin I think everyone roots for even though they are in an enemy uniform.

[ScrapTheNickname]

 

 

Twins Lineup

1. Joe Mauer (L) 1B
2. Jorge Polanco (S) SS
3. Miguel Sano ® RF
4. Byung Ho Park ® DH
5. Trevor Plouffe ® 3B
6. Brian Dozier ® 2B
7. Eddie Rosario (L) LF
8. Juan Centeno (L) C
9. Danny Santana (S) CF

Looks like a very solid lineup to me. (Although I'd like to see Rosario sent to the minors ...)

[mickeymental]

hold em under eight in the first and everything will fall into place.

[Bark's Lounge]

 

Dueling lyrics; like dueling banjos but with less drooling.

I can see very well
There's a boat on the reef with a broken back
And I can see it very well
There's a joke and I know it very well
It's one of those that I told you long ago
Take my word I'm a madman, don't you know

Once a fool had a good part in the play
If it's so would I still be here today
It's quite peculiar in a funny sort of way
They think it's very funny everything I say
Get a load of him, he's so insane
You better get your coat dear
It looks like rain, yeah

We'll come again next Thursday afternoon
The in-laws hope they'll see you very soon
But is it in your conscience that you're after
Another glimpse of the madman across the water

I can see very well
There's a boat on the reef with a broken back
And I can see it very well
There's a joke and I know it very well
It's one of those that I told you long ago
Take my word I'm a madman, don't you know

The ground's a long way down but I need more
Is the nightmare really black
Or are the windows painted
Will they come again next week
Can my mind really take it

We'll come again next Thursday afternoon
The in-laws hope they'll see you very soon
But is it in your conscience that you're after
Another glimpse of a madman across the water

I agree drooling is no good.

 

I woke the same as any other day
Except a voice was in my head
It said, "Seize the day, pull the trigger
Drop the blade and watch the rolling heads"

 

The day I tried to live
I stole a thousand beggar's change
And gave it to the rich, yeah

The day I tried to win
I dangled from the power lines
And let the martyrs stretch, yeah

 

Singing one more time around
(Might do it)
One more time around
(Might make it)

One more time around
(Might do it)
One more time around
(I might make it)
The day I tried to live

 

Words you say, never seem
To live up to the ones inside your head
The lives we make never seem
To ever get us anywhere but dead

 

The day I tried to live
I wallowed in the blood and mud
With all the other pigs, hey

 

Singing one more time around
(Might do it)
One more time around
(Might make it)

One more time around
(Might do it)
One more time around
(I might make it)

The day I tried to live, yeah, I tried

 

I woke the same as any other day you know
I should have stayed in bed

The day I tried to win I wallowed
In the blood and mud with all the other pigs

 

And I learned that I was a liar

[Cap'n Piranha]

Mauer 0 for his last 13.  Someone get him some new sunglasses.

[mikeee]

big.

pelf.

[Cap'n Piranha]

Number 2 and 3 hitters are 19 for 37 this year against Hughes, with 11 XBH.

[Winston Smith]

Sano is very athletic!

[Hosken Bombo Disco]

very nice catch by Sano

 

if line drives were dropping tonight instead of being hit at people, the score would be 7-5 already

[Platoon]

Joe Nathan has the same Save Conversion Rate as Mariano Rivera: 89%. I hope he has a great comeback. Another x-Twin I think everyone roots for even though they are in an enemy uniform.

I think it was Kubel who hit a HR, otherwise Rivera would have been at 100% against our lads! (Or so it seemed)

[sampleSizeOfOne]

Dueling lyrics; like dueling banjos but with less drooling.

 

...

 

 

What's wrong with drooling?

 

Take me out to the ball game, take me out on a shark.

 

um...

[Craig Arko]

I agree drooling is no good.

 

I woke the same as any other day

Except a voice was in my head

It said, "Seize the day, pull the trigger

Drop the blade and watch the rolling heads"

 

The day I tried to live

I stole a thousand beggar's change

And gave it to the rich, yeah

The day I tried to win

I dangled from the power lines

And let the martyrs stretch, yeah

 

Singing one more time around

(Might do it)

One more time around

(Might make it)

One more time around

(Might do it)

One more time around

(I might make it)

The day I tried to live

 

Words you say, never seem

To live up to the ones inside your head

The lives we make never seem

To ever get us anywhere but dead

 

The day I tried to live

I wallowed in the blood and mud

With all the other pigs, hey

 

Singing one more time around

(Might do it)

One more time around

(Might make it)

One more time around

(Might do it)

One more time around

(I might make it)

 

The day I tried to live, yeah, I tried

 

I woke the same as any other day you know

I should have stayed in bed

 

The day I tried to win I wallowed

In the blood and mud with all the other pigs

 

And I learned that I was a liar

Okay, going for Double Jeopardy where the scores can really change.

 

I see trees of green, red roses too

I see them bloom for me and you

And I say to myself

What wonderful world

 

I see skies of blue and clouds of white

Bright sunny days, dark sacred nights

And I think to myself

What a wonderful world

 

The colors of the rainbow are so pretty in the skies

Are also on the faces of people walking by

I see friends shaking hands saying

How do you do?

They're really saying

I love you

 

I see babies cry, I watch them grow

They'll learn much more than I'll ever know

And I think to myself

What a wonderful world

Yes, I think to myself

What a wonderful world

And I say to myself

What a wonderful world.

[kusko_andy]

"And we head to the top of the third, in this pitcher's duel."

 

 

Really, Dick?

[Twinsbar107]

"And we head to the top of the third, in this pitcher's duel."

 

 

Really, Dick?

What? Too soon?

[Winston Smith]

After next year big Pelf will have made $31,000,000 over five years with the Twins and Tigers.