Minnesota Twins Whine Line: Season 2

[Bark's Lounge]

Vanimal needs to get this up and running again!

[Blake]

 

Vanimal needs to get this up and running again!

Concur.

[Rosterman]

Drinking game time. Everytime the Twins make a pitching change you get to chug a mug!

[twinsnorth49]

 

Drinking game time. Everytime the Twins make a pitching change you get to chug a mug!

Not looking forward to that hangover.

[twinsnorth49]

http://www.reactiongifs.com/r/weeds.gif

[USAFChief]

Drinking game time. Everytime the Twins make a pitching change you get to chug a mug!

Good lord, man. Get some help. Alcohol poisoning can be dangerous!

[Hosken Bombo Disco]

I just gotta say BLEEEP BLEEP BLEEEEEEEEEP BLEEP BLEEEEEEEP when the BLEEEEEEP BLEEP BLEEP and BLEEP BLEEEEEEEP BLEEEEEEEP BLEEEEEEEP BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP BLEEEEEEEP BLEEEEEEEP BLEEEEP BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

[Platoon]

I hope the Vanimal is not like my insurance agent, here for the good times, but when things turn to sh*t, you can't find him anywhere! Whoops, that's right, there haven't been any good times!

[Vanimal46]

ANND Welcome Back! To Minnesota Twins Whine Line. I was hoping we'd all forget about this little radio show, but we're back! By popular demand. Since we last checked in, the intern and I decided to take a vacation from radio to stock pile all of the SCORCHING hot Twins takes you will ever need. Let's discuss a couple of them before we get to the phone lines....

The Case for Joe Mauer as All-Star: Eduardo Nunez seems to be the hot name to make it to the All-Star Game. Boy are his stats PRETTY! But I'm here to tell you different. #VoteMauer. I'll tell you why. When we look back 10 years from now at Joe's resume, it will make a ton of sense that in his 13-14-15 year career, he made the All-Star game 7 times, MVP, and multiple batting titles.

 

What will happen when we look back at Eduardo Nunez's resume?? Hmm, he made an All-Star team once? That doesn't sound too appealing to us. So #VoteMauer. 

 

Blocking TR's phone calls: All of these prospects are considered friends. They grew up in the system together. They're competitive with each other. Well, almost every single prospect had an MLB stint that lasted less than a week. Why would a prospect want to take that flight up to Minneapolis now? To get rocked and immediately sent back down? I'm proposing that they block TR's number from their cell phone, and just stay in Rochester until it's safe from poor handling of the youngsters. 

 

Special Guest Host? As Twins Whine Line gets back on the air, we've received interest in guest hosting the program! Will their be a special guest host coming on the air soon? Find out! 

We'll take calls in the order that they were received. You're on Minnesota Twins Whine Line, hello?

[Vanimal46]

 

I hope the Vanimal is not like my insurance agent, here for the good times, but when things turn to sh*t, you can't find him anywhere! Whoops, that's right, there haven't been any good times!

I would hope I'm better than an insurance agent! To explain the gap between shows, well, Tim from IT switched phone providers on us... And... umm... He forgot to turn the phone off silent! We didn't know people were trying to call in! 

[Craig Arko]

I would hope I'm better than an insurance agent! To explain the gap between shows, well, Tim from IT switched phone providers on us... And... umm... He forgot to turn the phone off silent! We didn't know people were trying to call in!

 

It's Van, from State Farm.

[Vanimal46]

 

It's Van, from State Farm.

In case your significant other is wondering what I'm wearing at 10:57 in the morning, ummmm... khakis. 

[USAFChief]

You sound hideous.

[Vanimal46]

 

You sound hideous.

Well I'm a guy, so.... 

[Bark's Lounge]

You are listening to KVAN Radio. Home of the MN Twins and of course, Twins Daily.

 

This is Bark's Lounge filling in for Vanimal. These are some tough shoes to fill in for and it is not an ideal assignment, but let's make the best of it. It is only temporary.

 

I want to hear your SCORCHING HOT TAKES, the things that make you shake, and your deep down fears of life and Twins baseball.

 

Take a hit off your Spliff, your pipe, or just a breath of fresh air. Relax in the Lounge and take a load off. Make a cocktail if you like.

 

Release your deepest fears, unload the burden that is on your mind. Baseball related or other, let's get this show on the road. We have an empty canvas, let's paint a picture!

 

Caller #1…

[Vanimal46]

Hello? Bark? I'm not used to calling into the program here. Test... test. 

Thanks for filling in for me! Professional gadfly, and first time caller. I could use your wisdom here. You see, Miss Vanimal has been dropping hints all over the place lately that she wants to get a dog for us to share. We're what you call an expansion team for dog families. 

Since the Twins are my favorite team, I only know one way to acquire talent... By searching the waiver wire and acquiring anything with a pulse. Does that logic also apply to dogs? I'll hang up and listen. 

[twinsnorth49]

Guest host=Twins win................

 

 

 

[HitInAPinch]

 

Hello? Bark? I'm not used to calling into the program here. Test... test. 

Thanks for filling in for me! Professional gadfly, and first time caller. I could use your wisdom here. You see, Miss Vanimal has been dropping hints all over the place lately that she wants to get a dog for us to share. We're what you call an expansion team for dog families. 

Since the Twins are my favorite team, I only know one way to acquire talent... By searching the waiver wire and acquiring anything with a pulse. Does that logic also apply to dogs? I'll hang up and listen. 

A waiver-wire hotdog?  Ewww....

 

http://www.supersizedmeals.com/food/images/articles/20070603-Joey_Chestnut_Hot_Dog_Record_2.jpg

[Vanimal46]

 

A waiver-wire hotdog?  Ewww....

 

http://www.supersizedmeals.com/food/images/articles/20070603-Joey_Chestnut_Hot_Dog_Record_2.jpg

Little did you know, you were eating waiver wire hot dogs quite a bit at the Metrodome! As long as people didn't die eating one, they worked. 

[HitInAPinch]

 

Little did you know, you were eating waiver wire hot dogs quite a bit at the Metrodome! As long as people didn't die eating one, they worked. 

Bet the Griffith family had something to do with that.  Even got evidence.  Here's ole Cal chewing on one now.  Appears to be yummy!

 

http://sabr.org/sites/default/files/images/GriffithCalvin.jpg

 

 

[Blake]

Hey Whine Line, LOVE THE SHOW!! And thanks SO MUCH for taking MY CALL!

 

Question? What's my question? Oh, sorry, I was so surprised that I got through, I forgot that I was actually supposed to ask a question. So, here goes:

 

What's your take on the Twins claiming Neil Ramirez and then tossing him into the fray against the Mighty Angels of Anaheim of California of the United States of North America?

 

Thanks, I'll hang up and listen to your response.

[D. Hocking]

All we do is win now -- is this thread even necessary anymore?

 

Do you think they will unveil any new food items at Target Field for the play-off games played there this fall?

[Pardon My Dinger]

 

All we do is win now -- is this thread even necessary anymore?

 

Do you think they will unveil any new food items at Target Field for the play-off games played there this fall?

Beer-battered, deep-fried crow. 

[Vanimal46]

 

All we do is win now -- is this thread even necessary anymore?

 

Do you think they will unveil any new food items at Target Field for the play-off games played there this fall?

As you know Denny, there's ALWAYS something to whine about! 

Your question is right in my wheelhouse. So I'll take over for a bit until Bark comes back from his smoke break. 

I'm not sure if there's any plans for new food items, but the Whine Line team has submitted ideas to Dave St. Peter for their consideration:

 

- The Ervin Santana Meatball - This delicious meatball is made with 100% ground beef mixed with grilled onion, the finest breadcrumbs you can find, garlic, salt and pepper rolled into a perfect ball down the middle of your plate. Once they're cooked, it's seasoned in Dominican spices to bring the heat! Though it may be a little spicy, anyone will think this meatball is a hit! 

 

- The Eduardo Nunez Bundtcake - This delicate dessert caters to the sweet tooth in the stands! No matter if it's the top of the 2nd inning, or the top of the 8th in a close game, any time is a good time for bundtcake!  This delicious cake comes in several flavors, like cinnamon swirl, white chocolate raspberry, or my personal favorite, red velvet! 

The Miguel Sano Meal Replacement Shake: This delicious shake caters to the fans looking to lose a couple of pounds. In a ballpark full of fatty foods, sometimes you need to find a low calorie option! Luckily Miguel Sano is all about losing weight, and these shakes come in several flavors to satisfy your taste buds! 

[Pardon My Dinger]

 

As you know Denny, there's ALWAYS something to whine about! 

Your question is right in my wheelhouse. So I'll take over for a bit until Bark comes back from his smoke break. 

I'm not sure if there's any plans for new food items, but the Whine Line team has submitted ideas to Dave St. Peter for their consideration:

 

- The Ervin Santana Meatball - This delicious meatball is made with 100% ground beef mixed with grilled onion, the finest breadcrumbs you can find, garlic, salt and pepper rolled into a perfect ball down the middle of your plate. Once they're cooked, it's seasoned in Dominican spices to bring the heat! Though it may be a little spicy, anyone will think this meatball is a hit! 

Meatball Sliders? 

[Vanimal46]

 

Meatball Sliders? 

If meatball sliders are your thing, we can certainly work a deal with the concession stand to bring buns into the mix. We have one requirement.... You have to steam those buns! 

[Vanimal46]

 

Hey Whine Line, LOVE THE SHOW!! And thanks SO MUCH for taking MY CALL!

 

Question? What's my question? Oh, sorry, I was so surprised that I got through, I forgot that I was actually supposed to ask a question. So, here goes:

 

What's your take on the Twins claiming Neil Ramirez and then tossing him into the fray against the Mighty Angels of Anaheim of California of the United States of North America?

 

Thanks, I'll hang up and listen to your response.

Thank you for the call, Blake. Now, I wish I could tell you that I witnessed Neil's first appearance with the Twins, but unfortunately with the game being on the west coast, the host of the show passed out drunk before he got the call to the mound. 

The intern stayed up to take notes of our newest acquisition, and this is what he wrote! 

"Neil did well. He threw the ball hard. One of the better beards on the team." 

So that's what we're going with! 

[Bark's Lounge]

 

Hello? Bark? I'm not used to calling into the program here. Test... test. 

Thanks for filling in for me! Professional gadfly, and first time caller. I could use your wisdom here. You see, Miss Vanimal has been dropping hints all over the place lately that she wants to get a dog for us to share. We're what you call an expansion team for dog families. 

Since the Twins are my favorite team, I only know one way to acquire talent... By searching the waiver wire and acquiring anything with a pulse. Does that logic also apply to dogs? I'll hang up and listen. 

Hey Van. I can hear you loud and clear. It's an honor to be manning your station.

 

Sound like things are getting pretty serious with you and the little lady, the acquisition of a dog is a BIG step.

 

You certainly could take the Twins route of acquiring a dog, but that's pretty risky. You will probably end up with a dog that cannot be house broken, refuses to take walks, attacks children, etc., etc...

 

My advice is the following:

1. I would stake out a few neighborhoods and find the perfect, well adjusted family, with two kids, a dog, a nice house and all the other trimmings. You will need to study the behaviors and routines of this family and it might take a week or two, but you should be able to find a window to kidnap their dog. If executed properly this is my favorite way to acquire a dog. The icing on the cake is the children of this family will be crushed... who doesn't like to feed off the tears of sad children?

 

2. Take a trip to Yulin, China. There are many dogs to be saved in this city and the timing is perfect, although it is sort of short notice. I have attached a link for you to investigate this option.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lychee_and_Dog_Meat_Festival

 

That's my advice Van - good luck on your quest!

[Pardon My Dinger]

 

If meatball sliders are your thing, we can certainly work a deal with the concession stand to bring buns into the mix. We have one requirement.... You have to steam those buns! 

Damn straight.

[Vanimal46]

Hey Van. I can hear you loud and clear. It's an honor to be manning your station.

 

Sound like things are getting pretty serious with you and the little lady, the acquisition of a dog is a BIG step.

 

You certainly could take the Twins route of acquiring a dog, but that's pretty risky. You will probably end up with a dog that cannot be house broken, refuses to take walks, attacks children, etc., etc...

 

My advice is the following:

1. I would stake out a few neighborhoods and find the perfect, well adjusted family, with two kids, a dog, a nice house and all the other trimmings. You will need to study the behaviors and routines of this family and it might take a week or two, but you should be able to find a window to kidnap their dog. If executed properly this is my favorite way to acquire a dog. The icing on the cake is the children of this family will be crushed... who doesn't like to feed off the tears of sad children?

 

2. Take a trip to Yulin, China. There are many dogs to be saved in this city and the timing is perfect, although it is sort of short notice. I have attached a link for you to investigate this option.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lychee_and_Dog_Meat_Festival

 

That's my advice Van - good luck on your quest!

This is great advice! I have a family in mind already to stalk for a week and find the right time to steal the dog.

 

Since we're an expansion dog family, there's a couple of routes we can take:

 

Go for the prospect dog... but that would take a good coaching staff to develop him or her into a good dog.

 

Go for the young, on the rise dog. It may have learned some tricks already and potentially house trained! But that usually requires a bigger investment.

 

Go for the established dog on the decline. We already know what the dog can do, and it's living out the glory years under a fat contract.

 

What's your take?