Game Thread: Twins @ Tigers, Sunday 7/18/2021, 12:10 PM CDT

[Otto von Ballpark]

Preface

It's often said that you can't spell "Twins" without "win" but that's not strictly true, if you spell "Twins" incorrectly. And doing something incorrectly would be a fitting tribute to the 2021 Twins.

Some also say the 2021 Twins are hapless. That's not true either -- we have one of the only two Happs in major league history. In that sense, we could be considered "Happful".

His full name is James Anthony Happ but he famously goes by J.A., prounounced "Jay". If I was his coach, or I played one on TV,  I'd ask him to try going by "Ja" like rapper and "The Fast and the Furious" actor Ja Rule, or like the Rastafarian god "Jah" -- like a new pitch grip, it just might extend his career by a few more years. (The other Happ in MLB is the Cubs' Ian Edward, or I.E. Happ. But only one Happ actually goes by his initials, i.e. J.A. Happ.)

Happ (ours), with his grey beard, would even be the perfect candidate to star in a topical modern reboot of an old baseball movie, 1949's "It Happens Every Spring" (which could be stylized "It HAPPens Every Spring"):

In the original film, a scientist discovers a substance which, when applied to baseballs, makes them impossible to hit with a wood bat. The scientist uses his discovery to become a successful major league pitcher, until his secret is outed by Philadelphia Athletics third baseman Josiah Donaldson. With the substance no longer available, Josiah hits a home run off of the scientist/pitcher, and radio broadcasts pick up his controversial "can't repel wood anymore" exclamation on the field. In the movie's climax, Josiah and the scientist/pitcher grapple with each other on a train platform after the game (although I won't spoil the ending for you, primarily because I don't actually remember it and none of this may actually happen in the movie).

 

Minnesota (39-52, 4th place, 16 GB)

Starting pitcher: J.A. "i.e., Not I.E." Happ, LHP, 5-4, 5.90 ERA

Detroit (42-51, 3rd place, 14 GB)

Starting pitcher: Wily "Willy Not Wile E." Peralta, RHP, 2-1, 2.08 ERA

I may not be around to post lineups. (I tried to look up projected lineups for the Twins-Tigers game, and now Google thinks I have a gambling problem.)

If someone else can post the lineups when they become available, it would be much appreciated.

[Brock Beauchamp]

At least they'll play nine innings today.

*grumble grumble manfredball grumble grumble*

[tony&rodney]

9 innings. Woo hoo. I will listen on the radio. I have found myself tuning out 7 inning games and turning off the imaginary runner extra inning affairs. It is my little protest of Manfredball. The Twins will win today.

[Brock Beauchamp]

1 minute ago, tony&rodney said:

9 innings. Woo hoo. I will listen on the radio. I have found myself tuning out 7 inning games and turning off the imaginary runner extra inning affairs. It is my little protest of Manfredball. The Twins will win today.

I don't love the zombie runner rule in its current incarnation (it would be better if it started in the 11th inning) but I absolutely despise seven inning games.

[In My La Z boy]

51 minutes ago, Brock Beauchamp said:

At least they'll play nine innings today.

*grumble grumble manfredball grumble grumble*

Laudner was very disconcerted with Rocco's take on 7 inning games, and I appreciated his comment. Bothered me a lot. I've held my fire on Rocco for the most part. His comment on his love of the 7 innings is bothersome.

[Brock Beauchamp]

3 minutes ago, In My La Z boy said:

Laudner was very disconcerted with Rocco's take on 7 inning games, and I appreciated his comment. Bothered me a lot. I've held my fire on Rocco for the most part. His comment on his love of the 7 innings is bothersome.

Baldelli said he loved seven inning games?

[In My La Z boy]

46 minutes ago, Brock Beauchamp said:

Baldelli said he loved seven inning games?

Loved. Freaked Laudner out.

[mnfireman]

2 less innings to mismanage......

[Dave The Dastardly]

1 hour ago, Brock Beauchamp said:

I don't love the zombie runner rule in its current incarnation (it would be better if it started in the 11th inning) but I absolutely despise seven inning games.

I agree. Maybe they should put a real zombie on second and give him 7 innings to shuffle home. If he touches the plate before the batting team scores a run the fielding team gets the win. However, if the batting team takes the zombie's head off with a line drive while he's shuffling between second and third, they not only get the win, they get a  free set of steak knives without having to buy another set for $19.99 and they get to choose between moving up one notch on next season's baseball draft or using one of their own players as homeplate umpire for their next home game.

 

Makes as much sense as the "current incarnation" and I bet the fans could really get into it.

[Vanimal46]

 

[Rick Blaine]

I love "It Happens Every Spring".  Part of my baseball DVD collection!

[sampleSizeOfOne]

6 minutes ago, Rick Blaine said:

I love "It Happens Every Spring".  Part of my baseball DVD collection!

I also think it is appropriate to bring up considering the recent todo about foreign substances on baseballs.

 

But i finally watched the whole thing last month, and he gets away with it.

[sampleSizeOfOne]

And ghost runners are perfectly acceptable practice in kids ball if ya don't have enough players to lod the bases.

 

But i'm not sure i'm not familiar with zombie runners... Is that what happens when your helmet comes off while running the bases? The zombies can now smell your brains and come after you?

[GCTF]

2 hours ago, Brock Beauchamp said:

I don't love the zombie runner rule in its current incarnation (it would be better if it started in the 11th inning) but I absolutely despise seven inning games.

Unpopular, firmly in the minority, possibly risking a banning opinion coming up.

I prefer 7 inning games. Make them all that way.

I just don't have nor do I want to commit to 3 and a half to four hours for a game.

 

[LVTwinsfan]

Larnach costs them at least one. I’m ready for football, go Vikings

[RickOShea]

Didn't take long to show our true colors on how we play this game.

[Vanimal46]

Happ has my attention until I’m done eating lunch. He’s not enjoyable to watch at all. 

[LVTwinsfan]

What a horrible team, can’t even get a runner whose picked off

[Brock Beauchamp]

7 minutes ago, GCTF said:

Unpopular, firmly in the minority, possibly risking a banning opinion coming up.

I prefer 7 inning games. Make them all that way.

I just don't have nor do I want to commit to 3 and a half to four hours for a game.

There are plenty of ways to speed up the game without fundamentally changing it. Besides, making the games shorter doesn’t actually fix the problem that the game is pretty boring because there’s no action. All seven innings does is create “less less action” and the game is still more boring than it should be n

[bighat]

1 hour ago, Dave The Dastardly said:

I agree. Maybe they should put a real zombie on second and give him 7 innings to shuffle home. If he touches the plate before the batting team scores a run the fielding team gets the win. However, if the batting team takes the zombie's head off with a line drive while he's shuffling between second and third, they not only get the win, they get a  free set of steak knives without having to buy another set for $19.99 and they get to choose between moving up one notch on next season's baseball draft or using one of their own players as homeplate umpire for their next home game.

 

Makes as much sense as the "current incarnation" and I bet the fans could really get into it.

How about this more likely reality: During the game, the #twinsfan hashtag TikTok video that receives the most shares & likes gets to call the pitches for the 7th inning. Seriously, one of the arena football leagues already started with letting the fans call the plays.

I think a lot of major sports are just one bad hiring decision away from that kind of thing, frankly. They're all courting young people, they all know that young people are addicted to TikTok and Instagram, something's bound to happen. MLB has already shown willingness to scrap 9 inning games and use ghost runners, now they're just waiting for a flashy marketing firm to convince them to make some additional bad decisions.

[RickOShea]

Just now, LVTwinsfan said:

What a horrible team, can’t even get a runner whose picked off

I know we have a choice. But, I feel cheated out of not being able to watch major league level baseball.

[sampleSizeOfOne]

Does Circus Boy still want to be updated?

[LVTwinsfan]

Billy Beane traveled to Las Vegas to see his AAA teams recently built ballpark. He said the facilities for the AAA players are better than the A’s. That would be comparable to Levine going to the Saints facility and saying the players here are better than the Twins

[Vanimal46]

Congrats to 24 year old Collin Morikawa on winning The Open! 

[GCTF]

2 minutes ago, Brock Beauchamp said:

There are plenty of ways to speed up the game without fundamentally changing it. Besides, making the games shorter doesn’t actually fix the problem that the game is pretty boring because there’s no action. All seven innings does is create “less less action” and the game is still more boring than it should be n

Are there? I honestly don't know what they would be.  I agree with the rest of what you said. It does just make the amount of the boring less rather than address the issue of time of game. 

Hockey was able to shorten their games that were starting to drift into the 245-3 hour mark without shortening the time of the game with things like no line changes on icings and rules for lining up quickly on faceoffs. It's quite rare for an MHL game to go past 2:30 now.

 

[bighat]

If the Twins want to at least pretend they're putting an MLB team on the field, they've got to demote either Jeffers or Rortvedt. You can't have two guys each hitting .175 out there when you've got Astudillo sitting in St. Paul.

Jeffers isn't in a slump. He was spoonfed a platoon role to start the season and then had the starting role giftwraped after Garver went down. He's done absolutely nothing to show that he can play at this level.

[Brock Beauchamp]

2 minutes ago, GCTF said:

Are there? I honestly don't know what they would be.  I agree with the rest of what you said. It does just make the amount of the boring less rather than address the issue of time of game. 

Hockey was able to shorten their games that were starting to drift into the 245-3 hour mark without shortening the time of the game with things like no line changes on icings and rules for lining up quickly on faceoffs. It's quite rare for an MHL game to go past 2:30 now.

An enforced pitch clock would remove ten minutes from a game by itself and would increase action at the same time. It’s easily the lowest hanging fruit MLB refuses to implement. 

[Danchat]

5 minutes ago, bighat said:

If the Twins want to at least pretend they're putting an MLB team on the field, they've got to demote either Jeffers or Rortvedt. You can't have two guys each hitting .175 out there when you've got Astudillo sitting in St. Paul.

Jeffers isn't in a slump. He was spoonfed a platoon role to start the season and then had the starting role giftwraped after Garver went down. He's done absolutely nothing to show that he can play at this level.

They’ve already been demoted once each this year, and since this is a lost season, I don’t see a good reason to stop playing them. Astudillo is a big downgrade defensively, plus he hadn’t been hitting well the few weeks before his demotion.

[GCTF]

7 minutes ago, Brock Beauchamp said:

An enforced pitch clock would remove ten minutes from a game by itself and would increase action at the same time. It’s easily the lowest hanging fruit MLB refuses to implement. 

This, of course, would be the key word. 

[sampleSizeOfOne]

We seem to be getting them on but not in.