Game Thread 4/10/18 Twins vs. Astros 7:10 PM CDT

[Dave The Dastardly]

WHAT'S IN A NAME?

 

 

I asked for a chance to do a game thread for Houston. Actually I begged for a chance to do a thread for the Houston Astros. On second thought, “begged” might be too strong a word. “Whined until the Powers-That-Be-Surrendered” is probably more accurate. Which might also define a certain request, oft repeated, that I’ve made of my dear wife over the past thirty odd years.

 

Anyway, my reason for wanting to thread the Houston needle (had to try and sneak that past you) was because despite the yuge amount of knowledge I’ve acquired over the years since my son graduated from high school, I’ve never been able to figure out just what an “Astro” is. So I thought I’d have a go at it.

 

I know what a Pirate is, as I proved last week, and a Giant, a Dodger (guy who avoids the military draft) a Damn Yankee and what Sox are, though I’ve never owned any red ones. The same goes for Mariners, Angels, Padres ( I did time in a Catholic school - still feel guilty about it), Reds (what we used to call Communists), Phillies (steak and cheese sandwiches), Rays (a drop of golden sun), Marlins (BFF), Orioles, Cardinals (the guys in those funny red hats who get to vote for Popes), Indians (both kinds), Tigers, Blue Jays, Royals (though you have to go to England for that - I’ve never been there either, but I kind of like the Beatles), Cubs, Brewers, Braves, Rockies (Sylvester Stallone’s gym shoes) and Diamondbacks (what you ask for after your fiancee dumps you). I even have a vague understanding of what a National might be (a guy who used to work at a National T grocery store) and a Met... well, I think that’s some sort of commuter train.

 

But what on this side of the universe is an Astro? The dog on the Jetsons? But would anybody actually name a team after a dog? I don’t believe so. Unless of course it was a rich dog and he bought the naming rights. Talk about a whoof... So what I was suspecting is that “Astro” is a reference to those stubby little vans Chevy used to make. How, pray tell, you ask with raised eyebrows, do I dare offer such a connection? I admit unashamedly (mostly because I don’t have any shame) that the raison d’etre for said tenuous connection between a baseball team and Chevy vans stems from a step back in time.

 

One recent evening while reminiscing the golden days of yore I was listening to old tunes on YouTube when I stumbled (yeah, you don’t have to say it, I stumble a lot) across this video and I had my answer!

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RFnkCIwGwiA

 

 

So there's the connection, in their younger days these Houston guys scored as much in Chevy vans as they do now in the ballpark. Which, if you think about it, also connects with my opening paragraph regarding begging, but which also begs (couldn’t resist) a few more questions; what if these guys grew up borrowing their parents Chrysler vans? Would they now be called the Mini-vans? Or what if their parents drove compact cars? Would that make them the Contortionists? Now there’s a good name for a baseball team. Has a certain twist to it...

 

The origin of Houston’s team name aside, as long as we’re not going to be playing on their turf (God I love puns!) I think the Twins have a chance to kick Houston’s Ass...tros tonight.

 

So enjoy the game. Me, I’m going down to the Chevy dealer. Gonna trade the Tahoe in for a Chevy van...

 

Because, you know, despite what anyone tells you, the Bird Ain’t The Word, Mum has the Word!

 

 

 

Throwing snowballs from atop the iceberg tonight:

 

For the Twins:  Jake “The Jammer” Odorizzi  2.61 ERA   0-0  1.16 WHIP

 

For the Chevy Vans:  Dallas “Cowboy” Keuchel  3.27 ERA  0-1  1.55 WHIP

[Squirrel]

 

I asked for a chance to do a game thread for Houston. Actually I begged for a chance to do a thread for the Houston Astros. On second thought, “begged” might be too strong a word. “Whined until the Powers-That-Be-Surrendered” is probably more accurate.

The money didn't hurt, either.

[Winston Smith]

They changed the name from Colt 45's when they moved into the "Astro"dome. Houston being a center for NASA and the "astro"nauts that fly around in space. 

[Platoon]

My son in law, whenever seeing a Chrysler Caravan or something of that ilk would comment, "there goes someone who's given up on life". To this day I can't get that out of my mind when seeing one on the road. Two rules of the road. NEVER get behind one of those, or a tan Buick sedan. .

[Squirrel]

 

My son in law, whenever seeing a Chrysler Caravan or something of that ilk would comment, "there goes someone who's given up on life". To this day I can't get that out of my mind when seeing one on the road. Two rules of the road. NEVER get behind one of those, or a tan Buick sedan. .

Why, is yours the tan Buick sedan?

[Vanimal46]

My son in law, whenever seeing a Chrysler Caravan or something of that ilk would comment, "there goes someone who's given up on life". To this day I can't get that out of my mind when seeing one on the road. Two rules of the road. NEVER get behind one of those, or a tan Buick sedan. .

Have you seen the new minivans though? They have a built in vacuum! And TVs!

 

My mom used to drive a Chrysler Caravan in the mid-90s. The only cool thing about that van was the automatically closing doors... Which, if you weren't careful would close on your finger tips in a second.

[Doubles]

Jason ©Astro approves this Game Thread.

[USAFChief]

 

The money didn't hurt, either.

wait...what??

[USAFChief]

 

Have you seen the new minivans though? They have a built in vacuum! And TVs!

My mom used to drive a Chrysler Caravan in the mid-90s. The only cool thing about that van was the automatically closing doors... Which, if you weren't careful would close on your finger tips in a second.

My daughter swore up and down she'd never, ever, under any circumstances accept a ride in a minivan.  Much less own one.

 

Her and my son-in-law are well into year three of Kia Sedona ownership, and they love it.

[Dave The Dastardly]

 

They changed the name from Colt 45's when they moved into the "Astro"dome. Houston being a center for NASA and the "astro"nauts that fly around in space. 

Spoil sport! I like my version better. Has a certain... savoir faire.

 

Rule Number Two for Writing Game Threads: Fanciful beats facts every time. Well, okay. Most of the time. It's a matter of knowing your audience; the High and Mighty. High as in a different sense than lofty, Mighty as in quick-witted but slow-of-foot. Or do I have that last one backwards?

 

 

[jimmer]

Have you seen the new minivans though? They have a built in vacuum! And TVs!

 

My mom used to drive a Chrysler Caravan in the mid-90s. The only cool thing about that van was the automatically closing doors... Which, if you weren't careful would close on your finger tips in a second.

back in 2003, we bought my wife a brand new Crysler Town and Country. In 2007, a year before it got paid off, hail destroyed it (and my vehicle) and we went right out and replaced it with a used Chrysler Town and Country with low mileage...and the same color. She complained about it being the same color, but I have been trying to convince her to get a new vehicle for over a year now. Her 2005 minivan just went over 200k miles. She says hers still works great (never a problem even though we only do oil changes nowadays) and she says she doesn't need a new one. I hope she falls in love with my brand new Sorento and decides she wants that so we can retire the van.

[Squirrel]

 

wait...what??

yeah, your portion ... ummm ... it's in the mail.

[Riverbrian]

Nicely Done Dastardly!!!

[Blake]

 

Have you seen the new minivans though? They have a built in vacuum! And TVs!

My mom used to drive a Chrysler Caravan in the mid-90s. The only cool thing about that van was the automatically closing doors... Which, if you weren't careful would close on your finger tips in a second.

"Thus, with this sentence, Vanimal explained why he has such trouble typing."

[sampleSizeOfOne]

Bang up intro, Mr. Dastardly!

 

(Goes for the Pirate one too, if i didn't already say so. Or even if i did)

 

To quote Fezzig, "I hope we win!"

[Platoon]

Why, is yours the tan Buick sedan?

You sound like my oldest daughter. One day while driving down a 4 lane divided street in the Twins cities she kept shouting it's 55, it's 55! When I told her it was only 38 she said "what are you talking about, it's 55 mph here"! That's when I told her I thought she was talking about the temp! . (North will have to convert this to kph and Celsius for the Canucks)

[Blake]

 

You sound like my oldest daughter. One day while driving down a 4 lane divided street in the Twins cities she kept shouting it's 55, it's 55! When I told her it was only 38 she said "what are you talking about, it's 55 mph here"! That's when I told her I thought she was talking about the temp! . (North will have to convert this to kph and Celsius for the Canucks)

You're nicer than I am. I'd have told my daughter to be quiet. Actually, I wouldn't have told her to be quiet. I'd have given her the "dad" eye. Also known as the "hairy eyeball."

[Platoon]

You're nicer than I am. I'd have told my daughter to be quiet. Actually, I wouldn't have told her to be quiet. I'd have given her the "dad" eye. Also known as the "hairy eyeball."

She is too old for that, besides it's become a ritual. On the same trip we were following her husband to a hockey game. Her: "You gotta keep up with Chad, oh crap now the light turned red, we'll never catch him now". Me: "You don't know where the arena is"? Her: "Of course I do, we play there all the time"? That was priceless.

[Vanimal46]

"Thus, with this sentence, Vanimal explained why he has such trouble typing."

There's an indent on my left middle and ring fingers from a van door...

[big dog]

 

They changed the name from Colt 45's when they moved into the "Astro"dome. Houston being a center for NASA and the "astro"nauts that fly around in space. 

And, the story goes, the indoor dome required a new kind of grass (the artificial kind), which a company invented in time to install in the Astrodome.  The company decided they'd like to call it Astroturf, and the ball team decided that the licensing fee for the name was equal to what the company had hoped to charge for creating the product.  Apparently the proposed name, Chem-Turf, was found wanting.

 

[Blake]

 

There's an indent on my left middle and ring fingers from a van door after that wild frat party one night. The parentmobile may not have been much, but, man, could we got a lot of fraternity brothers in it...

I think you left off pertinent information.

[Blake]

 

She is too old for that, besides it's become a ritual. On the same trip we were following her husband to a hockey game. Her: "You gotta keep up with Chad, oh crap now the light turned red, we'll never catch him now". Me: "You don't know where the arena is"? Her: "Of course I do, we play there all the time"? That was priceless.

My daughters are mumblemumblemumble years old and even they are not too old for the dad eyeball.

 

One has to keep in practice, because, at some point, there should be grandkids to deal with. And spoil. Mostly spoil. With a bit of deal.

[Platoon]

My daughters are mumblemumblemumble years old and even they are not too old for the dad eyeball.

 

One has to keep in practice, because, at some point, there should be grandkids to deal with. And spoil. Mostly spoil. With a bit of deal.

Been there, the other girl and her infant moved in when the baby was a month old. Long since moved out, but comes over constantly. Now 7 she has for some reason developed an extremely odd sense of humor?

[Blake]

 

Been there, the other girl and her infant moved in when the baby was a month old. Long since moved out, but comes over constantly. Now 7 she has for some reason developed an extremely odd sense of humor?

Hah!

 

I babysat my grandsons several years ago and they wound up in a bit of trouble with grandpa. My daughter later told me they referred to me, privately, as "grumpa." Ever since, I have signed all of their birthday cards "grumpa." 

[ashbury]

There's an indent on my left middle and ring fingers from a van door...

There is a strong correlation between having a semi-permanent indent on the left ring finger and owning a minivan.

[Platoon]

There is a strong correlation between having a semi-permanent indent on the left ring finger and owning a minivan.

Early candidate for post of the night! (Even tho I had to read it 3 times)

[Squirrel]

 

My daughters are mumblemumblemumble years old and even they are not too old for the dad eyeball.

 

One has to keep in practice, because, at some point, there should be grandkids to deal with. And spoil. Mostly spoil. With a bit of deal.

My Dad in his advanced years always asks first what the speed limit is, followed by how fast I'm going. And he asks these two questions every 10 minutes.

 

[USAFChief]

 

My Dad in his advanced years always asks first what the speed limit is, followed by how fast I'm going. And he asks these two questions every 10 minutes.

try answering him.

[ashbury]

Early candidate for post of the night! (Even tho I had to read it 3 times)

Usually I don't recommend re-reading my posts. They get dumber with each iteration.

[ashbury]

My Dad in his advanced years always asks first what the speed limit is, followed by how fast I'm going. And he asks these two questions every 10 minutes.

So does my dad. Fair's fair - it's what I constantly asked him, shortly before his driver's license was taken away.