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Game Thread: Twins @ Indians 8/3 6:10pm

sampleSizeOfOne

By sampleSizeOfOne
in Archived Game Threads

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jimbo92107 Cedar Rapids Kernels

jimbo92107

Verified Member
Posted
Posted

 

OK - This is a very serious question/post...

 

I have my MLB debute for the Twins Daily Game Thread on August 13th.  I haven't slept in weeks and find myself short of breath on most days.  I'm not sure what to write.  Mostly I'm afraid my literary style will either bore or offend someone.  

 

Any suggestions on what to write?  Ideas on topics?  

 

I'm afraid.  Help...

Sandwiches. Everybody likes sandwiches. And if you make and eat an eggshell and celery sandwich, I'll pay you a dollar. The secret is the 50/50 mix of pepper corns and fennel seeds in the raspberry vinaigrette. 

Willihammer Cedar Rapids Kernels

Willihammer

Provisional Member
Posted
Posted

WH's four stages of female courtship.

http://ak-hdl.buzzfed.com/static/2014-06/11/18/enhanced/webdr08/anigif_enhanced-13375-1402524173-9.gif

http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m5bf42icjd1r0jeh0o2_250.gif

giphy.gif

http://briff.me/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/Post-4-The-Princess-Bride-Fun-Facts-From-Behind-the-Scenes-Fezzik-Paddle.gif

http://66.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m4p75jeI591qakh43o3_250.gif

nicksaviking MVP

nicksaviking

Community Moderator
Posted
Posted

OK - This is a very serious question/post...

 

I have my MLB debute for the Twins Daily Game Thread on August 13th.  I haven't slept in weeks and find myself short of breath on most days.  I'm not sure what to write.  Mostly I'm afraid my literary style will either bore or offend someone.  

 

Any suggestions on what to write?  Ideas on topics?  

 

I'm afraid.  Help...

Don't offend just someone, offend everyone.

 

Wait, I'm a moderator don't do that.

 

You'll do great and no one will criticize no matter what you write. Thanks for doing it too.

Riverbrian Cooperstown

Riverbrian

Old-Timey Member
Posted
Posted

Mound Visit Transcipt

 

Allen: Molly wants me to talk to you about the walks. 

 

Rogers: OK

 

Allen: You've walked two batters.

 

Centeno: (Holds up two fingers) Dos

 

Allen: I got this Juan. 

 

(Pause) (Stares at Taylor)

 

Allen: OK... that's all I got. 

LaBombo Wichita Wind Surge

LaBombo

Verified Member
Posted
Posted

 

OK - This is a very serious question/post...

 

I have my MLB debute for the Twins Daily Game Thread on August 13th.  I haven't slept in weeks and find myself short of breath on most days.  I'm not sure what to write.  Mostly I'm afraid my literary style will either bore or offend someone.  

 

Any suggestions on what to write?  Ideas on topics?  

 

I'm afraid.  Help...

Just remember the immortal words of the great Mark Twain, who comforted a friend (Chief, maybe?) who was about to address a large, contentious town meeting, with these words: "Don't worry, they're not expecting much".

 

J/K, you'll do great. Do some plagiarizing if you feel like it. Worst case is that you get some political speech writing job offers.

Squirrel GOAT

Squirrel

Community Moderator
Posted
Posted

 

OK - This is a very serious question/post...

 

I have my MLB debute for the Twins Daily Game Thread on August 13th.  I haven't slept in weeks and find myself short of breath on most days.  I'm not sure what to write.  Mostly I'm afraid my literary style will either bore or offend someone.  

 

Any suggestions on what to write?  Ideas on topics?  

 

I'm afraid.  Help...

First off, don't worry so much. This is the thread where you don't have to have all your facts and metrics and whatnot ... just make stuff up if you have.

 

Second, if you haven't offended and/or bored someone, then you're not doing it right. So don't worry about offending or boring anyone ... worry that you won't. ;)

 

Third, just start writing ... funny, serious, drab, straight, circuitous, whatever. There is absolutely no game thread judgement here. None. Game thread starts and starters ... judgefree zone.

jimbo92107 Cedar Rapids Kernels

jimbo92107

Verified Member
Posted
Posted

We must also consider the sage advice of the great Steve Martin. When you want to BE funny, first you must FEEL funny. Start by filling your shoes with mashed potatoes, then work from there.

formerly33 Ft Myers Mighty Mussels

formerly33

Verified Member
Posted
Posted

 

 

Second, if you haven't offended and/or bored someone, then you're not doing it right. So don't worry about offending or boring anyone ... worry that you won't. ;)

 

So you mean I've been doing it right all along?

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