Game Thread: Twins vs Marlins, 6/8, 7:10 PM

[Hosken Bombo Disco]

Perfect baseball weather for game 2 of the series. 

 

Pitchers: Wei-Yin Chen (3-2, 4.25) vs. Ricky Nolasco (2-4, 4.93). Lineups at bottom. 

 

Being a Twins fan in 2016 is no doubt some sort of cosmic test, administered by forces we do not understand, and frankly…. it’s a test we are failing. Did you see what direction the game thread went last night? The team needs help, but more importantly, so do we. We have descended into the mud. We treat straightforward discussion threads as self-help communities. One commenter in a game thread this weekend even suggested that Brian Dozier should check himself in to Pull Hitters Anonymous. If he does, he should wait a few weeks, because I would totally recognize him if he walked in here.

 

Anyway, I am thinking we should consider the five stage model of dealing with baseball grief to get primed for the game tonight.

 

1. Anger. I am guessing this is the stage Oswaldo Arcia was in when he did something nasty to the clubhouse water cooler. This was the stage Kyle Lohse privately shared with Ron Gardenhire, once upon a time. This is what Brian Dozier did to the baseball last night.

 

2. Denial. It's not just a river between Minnie and Paul out in center field.

 

3. Bargaining. See also, negotiating, bartering, trading Trevor Plouffe before the deadline.

 

4. Depression. It’s sad that this is the fourth phase, but whatever. I already stopped caring about this list a long time ago.

 

5. Acceptance. Anyway, those are the five stages. You have to admit, the Twins are bad. But that’s ok. We can still enjoy the game. There are noble qualities in all of us who peacefully resign ourselves to 90-loss season after 90-loss season. We know how to do this, and that's ok now. In fact, there is a beautiful symmetry to that 16-40 record we had this year, 8-20 in the first half of the games, and 8-20 after. I would like to see what happens if we have another 8-20 streak. I can accept that.

 

Perhaps if there were a sixth stage of baseball grief, it would be stupor or unresponsiveness [for best effect, pause three hours before continuing to next sentence]. There would come a point where everything that has been said, has been said, and there is nothing more to say.

 

However, the saving grace is that studies have shown, and even Elizabeth Kubler-Ross admitted, that these five stages do not always occur in order, or even at all. Having good support, maintaining healthy relationships, and having other compassionate people nearby, all these things can help even the lousiest-feeling baseball fan cope with the worst of circumstances.

 

And.... this is where game threads enter the stage. So… let’s talk about the Twins! *

 

* exclamation point optional

 

 

MIAMI MARLINS 

 

1. Suzuki Ichiro, DH

2. Martin Prado, 3B

3. Christian Yelich, LF

4. Marcell Ozuna, CF

5. Giancarlo Stanton, RF

6. Justin Bour, 1B

7. Derek Dietrich, 2B

8. J.T. Realmuto, C

9. Miguel Rojas, SS

 

Pitching: Wei-Yin Chen, LHP

 

MINNESOTA TWINS

 

1. Eduardo Nunez, SS

2. Robbie Grossman, LF

3. Joe Mauer, 1B

4. Trevor Plouffe, 3B

5. Brian Dozier, 2B

6. Byung-Ho Park, DH

7. Oswaldo Arcia, RF

8. Kurt Suzuki, C

9. Byron Buxton, CF

 

Pitching: Ricky Nolasco, RHP

 

First pitch: 7:10 PM CDT

[Blake]

Good job.

[Vanimal46]

I wasn't around the thread when the actual game was happening, but I thought the thread was trending towards greatness yesterday! 

I seem to flip back and forth between anger and acceptance in this 5 stage model. Right when I think I'm in the clear, something makes me mad again! The never ending cycle I suppose. 

 

[HitInAPinch]

 

I wasn't around the thread when the actual game was happening, but I thought the thread was trending towards greatness yesterday! 

I seem to flip back and forth between anger and acceptance in this 5 stage model. Right when I think I'm in the clear, something makes me mad again! The never ending cycle I suppose. 

 

 

8 - 20.  Isn't that an alcohol to soda drink ratio?        

[HitInAPinch]

Hey HBD:   ya know I just now figured out your handle.  

Hosken Powell, Bombo Rivera and Disco Danny Ford. 

Yep, kind a slow sometimes.  Sometimes a couple years......

[gocgo]

I'm wondering if the Cubs win the World Series, will the Twins be the new Cubs and develop a cult like following?

[Hosken Bombo Disco]

 

Hey HBD:   ya know I just now figured out your handle.  

Hosken Powell, Bombo Rivera and Disco Danny Ford. 

Yep, kind a slow sometimes.  Sometimes a couple years......

If I could find a gif of a ground ball rolling between Disco Danny Ford's legs, I would post it for you

[sampleSizeOfOne]

Good job.

Second.

 

Is there a white ballot?

 

As the old saying goes, if you're not part of solution...

 

Your part of the precipitate.

 

I think that's how it went.

[Vanimal46]

If I could find a gif of a ground ball rolling between Disco Danny Ford's legs, I would post it for you

I thought you just liked going to Discos... I pegged you all wrong!

[Blake]

 

Second.

Is there a white ballot?

As the old saying goes, if you're not part of solution...

Your part of the precipitate.

I think that's how it went.

I think it's "the solution is looking for the problem."

[Craig Arko]

Sad times are these when the Sports Bar drives one to seek refuge in the Game Thread.

 

It feels like Trump has already won.

[Guest]

C'mon Ricky, build up your trade value!

[USAFChief]

A couple days ago, someone posted after the Zac Brown concert at TF that they "didn't get" country music.

 

Perhaps you're just listening to the wrong stuff.

 

Try this:  

 

[DaveW]

Got back from Paris last night, just in time for the Twins walk off victory, looks like I didn't miss a whole lot while I was across the pond (as the old timers like Chief say) Buxton apparently looks like a ball player, Nunez is continuing to up that trade value, the Twins lost a lot, the pitching sucked and somehow Sano got hurt did I miss anything?

 

Oh also, Paris is a great, great city, probably my second favorite in the world at this point behind NYC. Great people, better food, bestest wine.

 

 

[Craig Arko]

A couple days ago, someone posted after the Zac Brown concert at TF that they "didn't get" country music.

 

Perhaps you're just listening to the wrong stuff.

 

Try this:  

 

And this:

 

[Platoon]

8 - 20.  Isn't that an alcohol to soda drink ratio?     

 

Yea but you have the ratios reversed!

[Platoon]

I wasn't around the thread when the actual game was happening, but I thought the thread was trending towards greatness yesterday! 

I seem to flip back and forth between anger and acceptance in this 5 stage model. Right when I think I'm in the clear, something makes me mad again! The never ending cycle I suppose.

 

Same here, I thought it had reached a level that can only normally be achieved with the help of pharmaceuticals, illicit or otherwise!

[Platoon]

If I could find a gif of a ground ball rolling between Disco Danny Ford's legs, I would post it for you

Disco Dan the guy who backed across home plate? That's what I want to see!

[Craig Arko]

Same here, I thought it had reached a level that can only normally be achieved with the help of pharmaceuticals, illicit or otherwise!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XR8LFNUr3vw

[Vanimal46]

Got back from Paris last night, just in time for the Twins walk off victory, looks like I didn't miss a whole lot while I was across the pond (as the old timers like Chief say) Buxton apparently looks like a ball player, Nunez is continuing to up that trade value, the Twins lost a lot, the pitching sucked and somehow Sano got hurt did I miss anything?

 

Oh also, Paris is a great, great city, probably my second favorite in the world at this point behind NYC. Great people, better food, bestest wine.

Paris is a bucket list city to visit for me. Glad that you had a blast over there!

[Platoon]

And this:

One of my favorites, that was quite a group!

[Vanimal46]

Had another thought this afternoon:

 

I can't imagine TR's voice mail message is the generic "You have reached (612) 588-8888 please leave your message after the tone." Nor is it "You've reached Terry, you know what to do."

 

I envision Terry having a song as his message. Any ideas what that song would be? Sugarloaf's "Don't Call Us, We'll Call You" comes to mind...

[HitInAPinch]

 

Had another thought this afternoon:

I can't imagine TR's voice mail message is the generic "You have reached (612) 588-8888 please leave your message after the tone." Nor is it "You've reached Terry, you know what to do."

I envision Terry having a song as his message. Any ideas what that song would be? Sugarloaf's "Don't Call Us, We'll Call You" comes to mind...

I was going to go with "Looking for Love in all the Wrong Places" but settled on:  "Keep It to Yourself,"

[Platoon]

This is appropriate I think.

 

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Juliana%27s_Pony:_Total_System_Failure

[Platoon]

Please listen closely for our menu has changed:

 

Press 1 for ML Trades

Press 2 for MiLB Trades

Press 3 if you are a FA looking to get to the show this week.

Press 4 if you are a former Twin looking for employment.

Press 5 if you have just been released from anywhere.

Press 6 if have room for Kepler on your drive to Rochester NY

Press 7 if you know what metrics are.

Press 8 if you want to buy playoff tickets.

Press 911 if you are that delusional!

[Vanimal46]

Please listen closely for our menu has changed:

 

Press 1 for ML Trades

Press 2 for MiLB Trades

Press 3 if you are a FA looking to get to the show this week.

Press 4 if you are a former Twin looking for employment.

Press 5 if you have just been released from anywhere.

Press 6 if have room for Kepler on your drive to Rochester NY

Press 7 if you know what metrics are.

Press 8 if you want to buy playoff tickets.

Press 911 if you are that delusional!

*Presses 1*

 

We're sorry, all available representatives are speaking to other customers right now. Your call is very important to us. Your call will be answered in the next *2-3* years.

[Vanimal46]

Please listen closely for our menu has changed:

 

Press 1 for ML Trades

Press 2 for MiLB Trades

Press 3 if you are a FA looking to get to the show this week.

Press 4 if you are a former Twin looking for employment.

Press 5 if you have just been released from anywhere.

Press 6 if have room for Kepler on your drive to Rochester NY

Press 7 if you know what metrics are.

Press 8 if you want to buy playoff tickets.

Press 911 if you are that delusional!

*Presses 8, immediately goes through*

 

"Grounds keeping, this is Tony."

 

"Tony, I think I got transfered to the wrong extension. I was looking to buy playoff tickets."

 

"Seriously? Ha ha hahahahahaha! Have you checked the standings lately? Thanks for the laughs, kid."

 

*Click*

[HitInAPinch]

 

This is appropriate I think.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Juliana%27s_Pony:_Total_System_Failure

and here I thought that was an original thought from Jim Pohlad...

[Jerr]

I discover  the drink called Moscow Mule, very good and helps for that "in a stupor" stage of this Twin's season.

I was soooo anticipating this season all Winter and it ain't even Summer and it's '"wait till next year".

Need a refill and then find where I can buy those copper cups for the Moscow Mule      

[DaveW]

 

I discover  the drink called Moscow Mule, very good and helps for that "in a stupor" stage of this Twin's season.

I was soooo anticipating this season all Winter and it ain't even Summer and it's '"wait till next year".

Need a refill and then find where I can buy those copper cups for the Moscow Mule      

A got a set of 4 of the mugs on black Friday from Amazon, usually they are like $20-$30 each, but they were marked down to about $7 each.