Twins Ranked by Handsomeness, 1-26

ashbury · March 14, 2020

When the TD minor league players' rankings were revealed one by one, it was striking to consider how strong the system was when looking at who was #18, #17, #16, #15, ...

Sadly, I do not get that same warm feeling while going down this list. Our talent pool is not deep, by this particular measure. An injury or two, and we're dipping into AAA quality replacement-level faces.

Also, I am seriously worried about regression from Kepler in this regard.

Diesel · March 14, 2020

Dobnak and Astudillo are way underrated. But yeah, Kepler is the baseball crush of every baseball fan of the opposite gender that I know.

Richie the Rally Goat · March 14, 2020

Dobnak and Astudillo are way underrated. But yeah, Kepler is the baseball crush of every baseball fan of the opposite gender that I know.

I dunno, La Tortuga really looks like a Tortuga...

But Dobnak absolutely deserves to be higher ranked. For reference: https://www.fox9.com/video/655771

I believe JP wouldn’t spring for a pro photographer so DSP took everyone’s picture with his iPhone 7.

Squirrel · March 14, 2020

Oh Good Lord. You really need to consult with the right constituency before writing articles like this. Every single person is in the wrong place, except maybe Romo. I’d have to think a lot about it, but this is the start of the true ranking of handsomeness.

1. Rosario

2. Cruz

3. Romo

theBOMisthebomb · March 14, 2020

This was awkward, yet a nice distraction from reality.

David HK · March 14, 2020

Heh... It reminded me of the Chiefs' fashion show from Slap Shot.

https://www.google.com/search?q=slapshot+fashion+show&oq=slap+shoy+fashion+show&aqs=chrome.1.69i57j0l3.16653j0j7&client=ms-android-samsung-gj-rev1&sourceid=chrome-mobile&ie=UTF-8#

IndianaTwin · March 14, 2020

Know your ‘staches, people.

Rollie Fingers had a handlebar. Al Hrabosky and Randy Dobnak have a Fu Manchu.

ashbury · March 14, 2020

Know your ‘staches, people.

Rollie Fingers had a handlebar. Al Hrabosky and Randy Dobnak have a Fu Manchu.

Hrabosky to Dobnak: "your fumanchu-fu is weak, Grasshopper."

al-hrabosky-autographed-baseball-card-at

TwinsFan268 · March 14, 2020

Veerryyyyy interesting... I don't 100% agree on all of these. I mean, pretty much everyone is in the WRONG PLACE. (Except maybe Kepler.)

So, um, interesting job. Maybe try again some other time?

TopGunn#22 · March 14, 2020

I asked my wife. She's FAR more qualified to comment than me.

Kepler---Runaway Winner. The line about him being ABC's next Bachelor hits the nail on the head.

Otherwise, she says Eddie Rosario and Taylor Rogers should be higher. She also noted that Alex Kiriloff is a fine looking young man so Eddie has ANOTHER reason to be worried.

rdehring · March 14, 2020

There hasn't been much written about Max' personal life, other than being from Germany, his parents, etc. Is Max married or has a significant other? Where does he live in the off-season? We know a lot about many of the local sports stars, but not Max.

And how about a follow-up to this post. Maybe do the same with each player's spouse or significant other? Maybe do some type of voter polling. Then after doing that for the Twins and we still don't have baseball to watch, do the same with players from the entire league. You know, all the way to the finals with Mrs. Verlander getting the final win!

Richie the Rally Goat · March 14, 2020

Mod note: keep it to the OP in a light hearted post about the players

Halsey Hall · March 14, 2020

Cave should be up toward the top of the list.

Lefty · March 14, 2020

When la tortuga flips off the lid and stretches that triple into a double with an amazing slide, you know the ladies LOVE him. He at least makes me excited.

Squirrel · March 14, 2020

Oh Good Lord. You really need to consult with the right constituency before writing articles like this. Every single person is in the wrong place, except maybe Romo. I’d have to think a lot about it, but this is the start of the true ranking of handsomeness.
1. Rosario
2. Cruz
3. Romo

When I looked at this post of mine more ‘analytically’, I realized that these three, in that order, are my favorite players on the team. I think there is a strong correlation there.

Parker Hageman · March 14, 2020

Super upset at where you ranked my beautiful boy.

joefish · March 14, 2020

No.

TwinsFan268 · March 14, 2020

Super upset at where you ranked my beautiful boy.

And who is that?

joefish · March 14, 2020

Let's rank their mates.

Baseballislife · March 14, 2020

A lot of these are not ranked correctly. Sano above Cruz, c'mon. I think we can all agree #1 is right. Fun read overall!

rdehring · March 14, 2020

Seeing Max Kepler in the top spot got me thinking. We really don't know a lot about him, at least I don't. Know he is a German kid with a Mom from Texas a Dad from Poland, if I am correct. Both parents are dancers and he was signed as a 16-year old and moved to Fort Myers with his Mom.

Is Max married and does he have children? Guessing he doesn't winter in the Twin Cites. Does he return to Germany? Or where does he spend his winters? Curious that I know so little about a young man who is my favorite Twin and just could end up being their best player some day. Does anyone else here know a lot more about him, like Seth?

Richie the Rally Goat · March 14, 2020

Seeing Max Kepler in the top spot got me thinking. We really don't know a lot about him, at least I don't. Know he is a German kid with a Mom from Texas a Dad from Poland, if I am correct. Both parents are dancers and he was signed as a 16-year old and moved to Fort Myers with his Mom.

Is Max married and does he have children? Guessing he doesn't winter in the Twin Cites. Does he return to Germany? Or where does he spend his winters? Curious that I know so little about a young man who is my favorite Twin and just could end up being their best player some day. Does anyone else here know a lot more about him, like Seth?

agreed, these young men are more than just good ball players and pretty smiles. I really like the ‘get to know ‘em’ articles and it would be great to see more of them as time goes by. Usually they are prospect articles. It would be nice to get a then and now perspective.

ashbury · March 14, 2020

When la tortuga flips off the lid and stretches that triple into a double with an amazing slide, you know the ladies LOVE him. He at least makes me excited.

Nine of twelve · March 14, 2020

You really need to consult with the right constituency before writing articles like this.

This was worded properly. It's not just gender, it's also gender of preference. Based on my gender and gender of preference I freely admit that I am a poor judge of handsomeness and I would never attempt a ranking such as this. That said, this is a worthwhile subject of discussion.

Nine of twelve · March 14, 2020

Heh... It reminded me of the Chiefs' fashion show from Slap Shot.
https://www.google.com/search?q=slapshot+fashion+show&oq=slap+shoy+fashion+show&aqs=chrome.1.69i57j0l3.16653j0j7&client=ms-android-samsung-gj-rev1&sourceid=chrome-mobile&ie=UTF-8#

Any and every Slap Shot reference gets a like from me.

DocBauer · March 14, 2020

It's long been stated that ladies love outlaws and country boys. So that being said, Dobnak should be near the top of the list. Looks like he should be on the PBR circuit and not the mound.

gil4 · March 14, 2020

What an ugly bunch of guys, and Romo (#5?!?!) needs to be 27 (he gets cut just so he doesn't make the top 26.) If my daughter brings home someone who looks like Romo, we're going to have a talk.

ashbury · March 14, 2020

Put Trevor May's eyebrows on Homer Bailey's face and you have Don Mossi. The ears admittedly would have to come from outer space.

0f73cc124b1742a3a498863c8f1cd26b_front.j

nater79a · March 14, 2020

Put Trevor May's eyebrows on Homer Bailey's face and you have Don Mossi. The ears admittedly would have to come from outer space.

Holy cow! Mossi, my man...

As the old saying goes.... a face built for radio.

gil4 · March 15, 2020

Put Trevor May's eyebrows on Homer Bailey's face and you have Don Mossi. The ears admittedly would have to come from outer space.

Was there anything in that photo besides the ears? I didn't notice.

Sign In

Twins Ranked by Handsomeness, 1-26

Twins Video

Follow Twins Daily For Minnesota Twins News & Analysis

Recent Twins Articles

Recent Twins Videos

Community Blogs

Forum Topics

Twins Top Prospects

User Feedback

Recommended Comments

Featured Comments

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

Create an account

Sign in

How many games will the Minnesota Twins win in 2026?