Front Page: A Brief History of Other Randy Dobnaks

[RandBalls Stu]

The newest addition to the Twins roster is an inspiring story of an undrafted pitcher’s rapid rise from the team’s farm system to the majors. It’s also the story of there being a young professional athlete named “Randy Dobnak” in 2019. In an exclusive Twins Daily investigation, we explore the type of person more likely to have this name.

• Mechanic who lets you know that this is going to be pretty expensive and it’s going to take a while.
• Your dad’s best friend from high school who your mom Does. Not. Like. He has a Grand Am and a girlfriend 20 years his junior named Ashlynne. Keeps Tommy Bahama in business. Wears cologne to funerals.
• Bass player for ‘70s rock band that opened for Grand Funk Railroad at the Met Center.
• Farmer. Corn, soybeans, got out of dairy a couple years back.
• Shop teacher. Called kids “jackasses” until the school board cracked down on him.
• A frequent letter writer to the Star-Tribune’s op-ed page. His main concerns are “liberty” and “freedom.”
• The food scientist for Frito-Lay who helped develop Funyuns. License plate said SNAK MAN. Divorced.
• Every seventh male born in North Dakota between 1961-67.
• Guy who takes co-rec softball too seriously. Banned from the Woodbury Buffalo Wild Wings for yelling at an umpire and his family while they ate boneless garlic parmesan wings.
• Sitcom dad.
• A Minnesota Twins pitcher in 1979. Gene Mauch hates him because he keeps his hair too long.
• Perham man who has been to 22 consecutive WE Fests. Has a hard opinion about Kenny Chesney.
• Guy who has cornered the inner tube rental market in a resort town.
• Your insurance agent. Crushes Nicorette like it’s a contest.
• Frequent third-party candidate for all local offices.

Image license here.

 

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[USAFChief]

They were eating "boneless" wings??

 

Fully deserving of every ounce of ridicule and scorn heaped upon them.

 

Those aren't wings. They're chicken nuggets.

[SirLoin]

He's also the guy in your local golf league who has an $8,000 set of clubs, but can't hit the ball in the air.  He also likes to tell everyone he has an $8,000 set of clubs.

[SirLoin]

He wrestled as a "jobber" in the AWA during the early 1980's.

[ashbury]

His name anagrams to:

• Dark and bony
• Any band dork
• Add yarn knob
• Odd, barky Nan
• Nark no baddy
• Dad born Yank
• OK, brandy and .... ?

I think this speaks for itself.

 

 

_{^{(Actually, I did this investigative report based on the mistaken notion that "Randy Dobnak" HAD to be an anagram of SOMETHING else. It's not a real name. It's just not.)}}

[GCTF]

Funyuns are awesome!

[Puckett34]

 

They were eating "boneless" wings??

 

Fully deserving of every ounce of ridicule and scorn heaped upon them.

 

Those aren't wings. They're chicken nuggets.

They're delicious, is what they are.

[Richie the Rally Goat]

They're delicious, is what they are.

you deserve every bit of scorn you get, Randy

 

[sampleSizeOfOne]

I just think he's a better pitcher than me... Or i am.

[Chris Hanel]

Isn't that a photo of social systems designer F. Randall Farmer?

[ashbury]

Isn't that a photo of social systems designer F. Randall Farmer?

Google Image Search returns this guess when I gave it the JPG:

 

"Tree"

 

Thanks Mister Google!

[Seth Stohs]

 

Perham man who has been to 22 consecutive WE Fests. Has a hard opinion about Kenny Chesney.

 

#PerhamRepresent

[darin617]

Dobnak pitched great tonight in relief.  Sad thing is that he most likely will be sent down right away since he threw 68 pitches and they will want the next fresh arm from Rochester to replace him.

 

He made a great impression and he will be back.

[Otto von Ballpark]

Dobnak pitched great tonight in relief. Sad thing is that he most likely will be sent down right away since he threw 68 pitches and they will want the next fresh arm from Rochester to replace him.

 

He made a great impression and he will be back.

Not so sure. With Stashak already replacing Cruz, we still have 7 rested relievers. And only Eades and Romero are eligible to return anyway.

 

Poppen is eligible to return Sunday, I think.

[ashbury]

Dobnak pitched great tonight in relief.  Sad thing is that he most likely will be sent down right away since he threw 68 pitches and they will want the next fresh arm from Rochester to replace him.

 

He made a great impression and he will be back.

The sitcom dad Randy Dobnak had a terrible episode last week; it was really obvious he hadn't memorized his lines and was reading from cue cards. I won't be surprised if the show's cancelled, if he's this bad again.

[Otto von Ballpark]

[*]Sitcom dad.

The other Randy Dobnak descriptions would seem to suggest "sitcom neighbor" rather than sitcom dad. Although I suppose it depends on the sitcom!

[Otto von Ballpark]

Twins bullpen sitcom title: "Just the Ten of Us"

 

Theme song, appropriately, "Doin' It the Best I Can"

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lq74ud4Ra2M