Game Thread Twins vs Rangers 7:10pm CTD 8/4/2017 AD

[sampleSizeOfOne]

Good Evening,

 

I sampleSize De Un will be your waiter today.

 

1) Would you like a booth or the bar?

 

2) The wait time to be seated is 45 minutes. Here is your pager... may i recommend a stroll by the mighty Mississippi.

 

3) I'm sorry we are classy restaurant. If you do not have overalls or a Feed Hat one will be provided for you.

 

4) Oh i'm sorry. You are still waiting for one of your party to arrive? Can i get you sometthing to drink or some appetizers? No?

 

5) Finally you are all here! Here are your menus... I'll be back to take your orders momentarily...

 

Menu Le Field Targe

 

Rangers

P. Martin Perez (L )

 

1. Shin-Soo Choo (L) DH

2. Elvis Andrus ( R) SS

3. Nomar Mazara (L) RF

4. Adrian Beltre ( R) 3B

5. Rougned Odor (L) 2B

6. Mike Napoli (R ) 1B

7. Joey Gallo (L) LF

8. Carlos Gomez ( R) CF

9. Brett Nicholas (L) C

 

Twins

P. Bartolo Colon (R )

 

1. Brian Dozier ( R) 2B

2. Eduardo Escobar (S) 3B

3. Miguel Sano ( R) DH

4. Joe Mauer (L) 1B

5. Robbie Grossman (S) RF

6. Chris Gimenez ( R) C

7. Eddie Rosario (L) LF

8. Byron Buxton ( R) CF

9. Jorge Polanco (S) SS

 

Game Temp: 74F Partly Cloudy

 

Warning: the USFBA has determined that consumption of raw or undercooked talent can be hazardous to your appreciation of the fundamentals...

[Blake]

I give you a 4 start Michelin rating.

 

Have you a craft beer list available?

[Vanimal46]

No table option at this fine establishment?

[Vanimal46]

Also, what do you recommend for food here?

[SwainZag]

Is it wrong of me to hope that Big Sexy gets rocked tonight to the tune of like......1 inning, 8 hits, 7 runs?  I mean, then of course I hope the Twins come back and win 10-9 and Colon decides to hang them up after the game or the Twins just DFA him and open up a spot for.......anyone else?

[TwinsCD]

I read the original post in the voice of the maitre'd from Ferris Bueller.

[sampleSizeOfOne]

Also, what do you recommend for food here?

Our humble pie is not found lacking...

[sampleSizeOfOne]

No table option at this fine establishment?

Alas, tables get turned a little too frequently.

 

It has been known to upset the staff.

 

You may order basket for nit picking, er picnicking.

[Cap'n Piranha]

I'm going to to ruin all the fun with some serious baseball takes in 3...2...1...

 

What the hell kind of lineup is this?

 

Gimenez 6th?!?

Our two best OBP guys behind Sano?

 

It's like Molitor wants the offensive ineptitude to continue.

[Vanimal46]

Is it wrong of me to hope that Big Sexy gets rocked tonight to the tune of like......1 inning, 8 hits, 7 runs? I mean, then of course I hope the Twins come back and win 10-9 and Colon decides to hang them up after the game or the Twins just DFA him and open up a spot for.......anyone else?

To quote The Big Lebowski....

 

You're not wrong. You're just a (you know what)

 

But I agree with you.

[Danchat]

 

I'm going to to ruin all the fun with some serious baseball takes in 3...2...1...

What the hell kind of lineup is this?

Gimenez 6th?!?
Our two best OBP guys behind Sano?

It's like Molitor wants the offensive ineptitude to continue.

They're asking for LOB opportunities with Gimenez hitting in the 6 spot following Mauer and Grossman. Not to mention Dozier needs to be done being a leadoff hitter.

[Vanimal46]

Alas, tables get turned a little too frequently.

 

It has been known to upset the staff.

 

You may order basket for nit picking, er picnicking.

I'll take a basket of fried Red Snapper mow em down innings while the rest of my party arrives. Thanks!

[Cap'n Piranha]

They're asking for LOB opportunities with Gimenez hitting in the 6 spot following Mauer and Grossman. Not to mention Dozier needs to be done being a leadoff hitter.

Yeah, I just don't get it. For a team that sold at the deadline, and has a catcher with an OPS north of .900 at AAA, there is absolutely no reason to have Gimenez on the roster, let alone batting sixth. This reeks of Falvine not wanting to cashier one of "their guys". I thought we were done with this scholarship insanity when TR was shown the door.

[Cap'n Piranha]

Although being that this is baseball, I'm sure Gimenez will now proceed to go 2-3 with a walk, HR and 4 RBI tonight while throwing out 3 potential base stealers.

[spinowner]

I want to go all Chris Sale on the Twins' red jerseys.

[mikeee]

big.

sexy.

[TwinsCD]

Pitch counts stay down when they all hit the first pitch.

[Cap'n Piranha]

A good start for Rangers fans and Twins fans who want Colon gone.

[spinowner]

 

big.

sexy.

big.

squishy.

[adorduan]

ARRGGGGGGHHHHHH!  Haven't we seen enough of Colon? Why is he still on the roster???!!!

[Riverbrian]

 

Is it wrong of me to hope that Big Sexy gets rocked tonight to the tune of like......1 inning, 8 hits, 7 runs?  I mean, then of course I hope the Twins come back and win 10-9 and Colon decides to hang them up after the game or the Twins just DFA him and open up a spot for.......anyone else?

 

Santiago is back and waiting for an assignment. 

 

An assignment might magically appear tonight. 

[drock2190]

The tank is on. How many teams are worse then us? 10? 9? 

 

If they try hard they can't probably end up with the 6th worse record.

[spinowner]

 

big.

sexy.

big.

sixy.

(As in his ERA.)

[spinowner]

Ho hum, another oppo dinger by Dozier.

[USAFChief]

I really don't understand the purpose of giving starts to Colon.  I did, kind of, but when you trade away two pitchers, from a pitching starved team, you're officially giving up.  So what's the point?

[Riverbrian]

DOZIER

[TwinsCD]

Such a bad leadoff batter.  How dare he hits a home run instead of working the count and getting on base.

[Cap'n Piranha]

The tank is on. How many teams are worse then us? 10? 9?

 

If they try hard they can't probably end up with the 6th worse record.

When I looked the other night, there were 13 worse. They could quite easily get behind 6 of those, and maybe a couple more. The goal should definitely be top ten pick.

[Danchat]

Good thing Dozier's hitting lead off, we wouldn't want to hit non-solo HRs.

[USAFChief]

Weird...the F1 key on my laptop isn't working.  Maybe I can get some help.