Article: Game Thread: Twins v Indians, 9/9 @ 7:10pm CT

[Riverbrian]

The Twins open up a 3-game series with the Indians tonight. The Twins pitching has been… umm… Hey! The Vikings kick off the season on Sunday.

Here are some things to think about:

 

1. Vikings -- The Vikings are Norse seafarers who traveled far and wide from their Scandinavian homelands as they pillaged their way across Europe during the Middle Ages. They come from the land of ice and snow… from the midnight sun where the hot springs flow… led by Hagar the Horrible and his first mate, Lucky Eddie. There is no historical evidence that Vikings wore horned helmets. There is also no historical evidence that they ate fish soaked in lye and no historical evidence that they were somber, introverted, simple-minded people with bad manners and muddy boots. There is no historical evidence, even though all of that perfectly describes the entire population of Fertile, Minnesota.

2. Lions -- I’m a different cat from time to time. For example… If you don’t see (True Story) brackets, you know I’m a Lion.

3. Bears -- I went Bear hunting once with a friend. We took a small private plane into the middle of nowhere deep into Northern Ontario. We got off the plane and the pilot says to my friend, “Now remember… we can only take one bear back… just one bear only.” I was a little concerned by this because we both had planned on each getting one bear. My friend took this same trip last year so he looked at me and said, “Don’t worry about it.” Eventually… we each got our bear and when the plane arrived to take us back… the pilot said… “It’s a small plane… I told both of you… one bear only.” My friend then said, “We had this same discussion last year… I gave you a hundred dollars and you let us take two bears back… here’s a hundred dollars… can we take two bears back?” The pilot took the money and said, “OK,” and off we went with the two bears. Turns out… the pilot was right… we made it maybe 20 miles when the plane crashed because of the weight of the bears. We were alright but I was pretty nervous so I asked the Pilot if he had any idea where we were… he said, “About the same place we crashed last year.”

4. Packers – Curly Lambeau founded the football team back in 1919. He solicited the funds needed for uniforms from his employer the Indian Packing Company and the funds came with the condition that the team was named after its sponsor. As the years went by… a new condition was created... all fans of the team must be obnoxious.

5. The Superbowl -- Generally… the earlier you purchase your airline tickets… the cheaper they are. So in an effort to save a few bucks, I’d go ahead and book your air travel to Houston for Superbowl LI now. Cheer on (spoiler alert) your Minnesota Vikings as they take on the Cleveland Browns. I believe Superbowl LI is the 51st Superbowl. I’m not sure… The big game used to be titled numerically. This year it is named after some Chinese guy.
____________________

Lineups:

INDIANS
Carlos Santana (S) 1B
Jason Kipnis (L) 2B
Francisco Lindor (S) SS
Mike Napoli [R) DH
Jose Ramirez (S) 3B
Lonnie Chisenhall (L) RF
Abraham Almonte (S) LF
Tyler Naquin (L) CF
Roberto Perez [R) C

Danny Salazar [R) P

TWINS
Brian Dozier [R) 2B
Jorge Polanco (S) SS
Joe Mauer (L) 1B
Miguel Sano [R) 3B
Max Kepler (L) RF
Kurt Suzuki [R) DH
Logan Schafer (L) LF
John Ryan Murphy [R) C
Byron Buxton [R) CF

Tyler Duffey [R) P

Game-time forecast: Partly cloudy (if it rains today, it should dissipate by game time), 71 deg F, winds from the NW at 7mph.

Go Twins!

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[HitInAPinch]

In keeping with the football theme:

 

This years Twins pitching staff:  They punted.

 

 

 

Talk about obnoxious  

[Vanimal46]

Someone should make a Twins SP jersey similar to how the Browns keep track of all their QBs...

[Winston Smith]

We need a mod to take down that disgusting banner!!

[jimmer]

Here's a couple awesome things. 

 

There have been 30 CFs who have played 500 or more innings. Buxton is tied for 7th in DRS (he has 6).  He has 574 innings out there.  The two he is tied with have 1051 innings and 1104 innings.  Probably not out of line to say he's arguably a top 5 defensive CF right now.

 

Mauer is tied for 6th in DRS for 1Bs in 791 innings (he has 6).  The two he is tied with have at least 1100 innings.  It's arguable he is top 3 in the majors at 1B defensively and arguably the best in the AL (with only Moreland really in contention for the top spot).

Edited September 9, 2016 by jimmer

[Mike Sixel]

It would really help the Twins run prevention if Buxton can hit at all next near, and stay healthy.....really help.

 

Twins win today, 5-2. book it. like, all your money.....

[Halsey Hall]

Sorry, but it'll be us obnoxious fans heading to the Super Bowl this year.

[Craig Arko]

I just hope Kepler remembers how to find that right field porch again.

[jimmer]

 

Sorry, but it'll be us obnoxious fans heading to the Super Bowl this year.

Really, who is your NFL team? :-)

 

But seriously, I have found Vikings fans to be nothing but a joy to deal with.

Edited September 9, 2016 by jimmer

[Vanimal46]

If anyone is looking to get me a gift, there's a new product out called the TV Beer Mug. It's a mug that won't block your view of the TV when you're laying on the couch drinking beer! 

[Vanimal46]

Couldn't tell you how many rockets off of Milone and Nolasco I missed this season because of drinking beer out of a normal mug! 

[Craig Arko]

 

If anyone is looking to get me a gift, there's a new product out called the TV Beer Mug. It's a mug that won't block your view of the TV when you're laying on the couch drinking beer! 

I don't think I've ever encountered that problem.

[Vanimal46]

 

I don't think I've ever encountered that problem.

 

That's because you're drinking mead out of wine glasses during games! 

[wsnydes]

 

Couldn't tell you how many rockets off of Milone and Nolasco I missed this season because of drinking beer out of a normal mug! 

Then why would you purposefully get a mug that allows you to witness such carnage?  Nolasco may be gone and Milone hurt, but that hasn't really stunted the pitching staffs ability to get lit up like the Griswold house on Christmas.

[Craig Arko]

 

That's because you're drinking mead out of wine glasses during games! 

A Drinking horn, buck-o.

[Pardon My Dinger]

Not exactly related, but I can now do that thing where the beer can rests on the crest of my gut when I'm in a reclined pose. I'm approaching peak dad-bod. 

Edited September 9, 2016 by Pardon My Dinger

[Halsey Hall]

 

Really, who is your NFL team? :-)

 

But seriously, I have found Vikings fans to be nothing but a joy to deal with.

The Packers since I was young, long before there were Vikings. But I do root for the Vikes when they aren't playing the Pack.  Used to go to a lot of Vikings games out at the old Met.  Many fun times!

[twinsnorth49]

Not a mug fan, a good, decent pint glass is my weapon of choice. 

[jimmer]

 

Not a mug fan, a good, decent pint glass is my weapon of choice. 

I prefer to just drink straight from the keg, myself.  of course, I mean a pony keg, I'm not a lush :-)

[twinsnorth49]

 

We need a mod to take down that disgusting banner!!

Banner?......what banner?

[Vanimal46]

 

Not a mug fan, a good, decent pint glass is my weapon of choice. 

Is this your tool belt when you have work to do outside? 

http://www.homewetbar.com/images/prod/w-beer-belt-black46586.jpg

[jimmer]

I doubt he drinks Budweiser :-)

[twinsnorth49]

 

Is this your tool belt when you have work to do outside? 

http://www.homewetbar.com/images/prod/w-beer-belt-black46586.jpg

Yes, but filled with a much better selection of beer.

 

 

edit: whoa, telepathically ninja'd by Jimmer!

[Vanimal46]

This will be the beer of choice for the game tonight. They just started canning it this week! $11 for a 6 pack though.... 

http://www.ohbeautifulbeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/Austin-Beerworks-Seasonals-Bloodwork_847e6ecbfb7b44c9b5dd2efbf920df0b.jpg

[gocgo]

 

This will be the beer of choice for the game tonight. They just started canning it this week! $11 for a 6 pack though.... 

http://www.ohbeautifulbeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/Austin-Beerworks-Seasonals-Bloodwork_847e6ecbfb7b44c9b5dd2efbf920df0b.jpg

but 7 percent alcohol...it's cheap when you compare the amount of alcohol.

 

[wsnydes]

 

Banner?......what banner?

We don't need no stinkin' banner!

[wsnydes]

 

Yes, but filled with a much better selection of beer.

 

 

edit: whoa, telepathically ninja'd by Jimmer!

Molson Ice, right?

[USAFChief]

 

If anyone is looking to get me a gift, there's a new product out called the TV Beer Mug. It's a mug that won't block your view of the TV when you're laying on the couch drinking beer! 

laying on the couch??

 

pfft. if you can still get up on the couch, you're nothing but a pantywaist lightweight!

 

laying on the floor, like a real man, you mean, amiright?

[twinsnorth49]

Molson Ice, right?

Only if you're buying.

[twinsnorth49]

This will be the beer of choice for the game tonight. They just started canning it this week! $11 for a 6 pack though....

 

http://www.ohbeautifulbeer.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/Austin-Beerworks-Seasonals-Bloodwork_847e6ecbfb7b44c9b5dd2efbf920df0b.jpg

$11 for a 6 pack?

 

Bragger.