Article: Game Thread: Twins @ Mariners, 5/27 @ 9:10pm CT

[Riverbrian]

“I cursed the gloom that set upon us, pon us, pon us. Upon us all… a little rain must fall." – Robert Plant

It’s good time to think about rain… because of that retractable roof, there is no chance for a rainout at Safeco, in Seattle, when rain is a common occurrence in the Pacific Northwest.

Indoors or outdoors… our Twins have been one collectively wet team in 2016… the raindrops have been continually falling on their heads. 2016 for the Twins came in like a lion and we still haven’t seen a sign of the lamb. It sure looks like the lamb has been silenced.

Here are some things to think about:

 

1. Noah’s Ark – According to Genesis… Phil Collins and Mike Rutherford report that Noah was given 7 days to build a massive ark. It was about to rain for 40 days and 40 nights and this thing needed to stay afloat and be large enough to provide shelter for every species. Two lions were loaded alongside two gazelles and the Ark was named the S.S. Food Chain before floating off into history. Although intentions were good, and hindsight is certainly 20/20, it ended up being a harrowing experience for the gazelles and rabbits and such; it was also an impossible trip for the marlins, swordfish, walleyes and lobster who failed to survive being pulled from the water to protect them from the water. The very large boat measured in cubits and was approximately the size of a football field and a half... and it was made out of gopher wood imported from the Minnesota campus. The loss of this amount of gopher wood has hamstrung Gopher football recruiting to this day.


2. Seattle Rain – It actually rains more in Atlanta than it does in Seattle, but in Atlanta… when it rains… it pours. They get so much rain in one downpour, diving boards have been resourcefully constructed over the car pool lanes. In Seattle… clouds have to rise to clear the mountains and those clouds drop rain as they rise. They never get a chance to load up for the big drop so it’s more like a constant light rain. When people talk about change in the weather in Seattle… it rains actual coins. Otherwise there is no change at all. Daylight savings time means an extra hour of rain in Seattle.


3. If You Like Pina Coladas and Getting Caught in the Rain – Most of you know the song “Escape” by Rupert Holmes. It’s an interesting narrative that describes a married guy getting tired of his lady so he decides to answer a personal ad for a fling. He replies back and after finding out that they have similar interests they decide to meet at bar called O’Malley’s. Turns out that the ad he answered was placed by his wife and when they discover each other... they laughed and laughed and laughed… probably because the odds of this happening were off the charts. I’ve heard the song many times and I can’t help but wonder, "What guy enjoys getting caught in the rain?" Personally… rain just makes me hunch my shoulders while making me walk faster to get out of it; and I would never consider it a good time or the basis for a strong relationship. Pina Coladas? Again… what guy would like that? This is clearly a case of a guy agreeing to anything so he could… well… you know. Back in my single days… I’ve told women that I wanted honesty, understanding, caring and compassion in a relationship and it was hard to keep a straight face while doing so. And… and a bar called O’Malley’s serving Pina Coladas next to the guy throwing up in the corner from too much Irish whiskey and Guinness doesn’t make sense either. Perhaps the most amazing part of the song was that laughing part. They laughed… they didn’t go straight to a marriage counselor… they laughed and all of their problems were solved. Can anyone think of a similar scenario where your wife wouldn’t blame it all on you?


4. Purple Rain -- This song is reported to be about new beginnings… Purple is the sky at dawn and Rain is the cleansing factor. I didn’t know that the sky is purple at dawn because I have curtains that let me sleep in a little bit longer. I’ve also never thought about rain as cleansing… but… now I realize that I have shower options in case the wife or the kids have taken control of the bathroom again.


5. My Trip to Seattle – I’ve been to Seattle once. It was raining that light rain thing. I was standing near a young couple from Seattle with a 5 year old child and they told me that this was normal because it rains like this all the time. I remember asking them if it ever stopped and before they could answer the 5 year old decided to chime in and said… “I don’t know.” I then stooped down to talk with the child and I said, “You don’t know if it ever stops raining?” and she replied… “I’m only five.”
--------------------

Lineups:

TWINS
Eduardo Nunez(R ) SS
Brian Dozier(R ) 2B
Joe Mauer(L) 1B
Miguel Sano(R ) RF
Trevor Plouffe(R ) 3B
Robbie Grossman(S) LF
Byung-ho Park(R ) DH
Kurt Suzuki(R ) C
Danny Santana(S) CF

Pat Dean(L) P

MARINERS
Norichika Aoki(L) CF
Franklin Gutierrez(R ) RF
Robinson Cano(L) 2B
Nelson Cruz(R ) DH
Dae-Ho Lee(R ) 1B
Kyle Seager(L) 3B
Chris Iannetta(R ) C
Stefen Romero(R ) LF
Luis Sardinas(S) SS

Felix Hernandez(R ) P

Game-time forecast: Who cares as it doesn't matter. It'll be raining somewhere in the world, sunny somewhere in the world, dawn somewhere in the world, night somewhere in the world, windy somewhere in the world ... 5 o' clock somewhere in the world. Cheers!

Go Twins!

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[gocgo]

Well done!

 

Can anyone think of a similar scenario where your wife wouldn’t blame it all on you?

 

Nope.  Always wondered about that part of the song.  She puts in a personal ad...his fault of course for driving the relationship to that point.  He answers the personal ad...how could he be so insensitive?  I'm surprised that there isn't another version of the song where instead of laughing, she just kicks the sheboygan right outta him.

Edited May 27, 2016 by gocgo

[gocgo]

Also, Purple Rain...I think this is a year in which we need some cleansing.  Not the kind that sends you in a frantic dash to the bathroom every 5 minutes after downing that nasty colonoscopy stuff.  Rather, the kind that makes us forget the baseball that we've seen.

 

Therefore, I would like to propose that in the 8th inning of all Twins baseball games, Purple Rain should be played.  Hey, the Red Sox have their Sweet Caroline.  Why can't we have our Purple Rain?

[Craig Arko]

Raining in Minneapolis, too. One of my dogs thinks this is the best thing ever and the other will only go out if absolutely necessary.

[gocgo]

Also, Genesis (the book) doesn't say that Noah built an ark in 7 days.  Actually, it could have taken him 100 years.  But I do like Genesis the band even if they say that Noah built it in 7 days.

[gocgo]

"I never meant to cause you any sorrow.  I never meant to cause you any pain...."  perhaps the Twins could actually come out of the dugout and sing it to the fans.

Edited May 27, 2016 by gocgo

[Blake]

I was going through Twins withdrawals, what with the off day and all.

 

Which I find to be rather odd, considering how dismal the Twins have been.

[diehardtwinsfan]

After reading your second thought, I assumed you had never been to Seattle.  It's pretty much non-stop light rain for about 6 months. 

 

The summers there are very nice though.

[diehardtwinsfan]

 

Also, Genesis (the book) doesn't say that Noah built an ark in 7 days.  Actually, it could have taken him 100 years.  But I do like Genesis the band even if they say that Noah built it in 7 days.

 

The 80s... the last great decade for the music industry.  It was all downhill after that. 

[USAFChief]

There are few rules for game threads. Virtually nothing is off topic. Let the conversation flow, like rain water, down hill, to the gutter.

 

But there is a limit. And I have the power to set it.

 

So let it be known, henceforth and forevermore: NO MORE MENTIONS OF COLONOSCOPIES. EVER.

 

Are we clear? ARE WE CLEAR? CRYSTAL??

[Vanimal46]

 

The 80s... the last great decade for the music industry.  It was all downhill after that. 

Really wish I was alive when 80's pop was bursting on the scene. There's no decade that's come close to that kind of sound since. 

[Vanimal46]

It's also raining here in Austin... Supposed to go to a Round Rock Express game tonight and the forecast changes every 20 minutes. One station says 90% chance of strong thunderstorms, the other station says mostly cloudy and no rain. 

[gocgo]

 

There are few rules for game threads. Virtually nothing is off topic. Let the conversation flow, like rain water, down hill, to the gutter.

But there is a limit. And I have the power to set it.

So let it be known, henceforth and forevermore: NO MORE MENTIONS OF COLONOSCOPIES. EVER.

Are we clear? ARE WE CLEAR? CRYSTAL??

Got it.  My bad!

[gocgo]

 

There are few rules for game threads. Virtually nothing is off topic. Let the conversation flow, like rain water, down hill, to the gutter.

But there is a limit. And I have the power to set it.

So let it be known, henceforth and forevermore: NO MORE MENTIONS OF COLONOSCOPIES. EVER.

Are we clear? ARE WE CLEAR? CRYSTAL??

As an apology, I would like to offer up this 18 minute version of Purple Rain.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ew4lmeebU8

[Craig Arko]

There are few rules for game threads. Virtually nothing is off topic. Let the conversation flow, like rain water, down hill, to the gutter.

But there is a limit. And I have the power to set it.

So let it be known, henceforth and forevermore: NO MORE MENTIONS OF COLONOSCOPIES. EVER.

Are we clear? ARE WE CLEAR? CRYSTAL??

We've found his kryptonite.

[diehardtwinsfan]

 

There are few rules for game threads. Virtually nothing is off topic. Let the conversation flow, like rain water, down hill, to the gutter.

But there is a limit. And I have the power to set it.

So let it be known, henceforth and forevermore: NO MORE MENTIONS OF COLONOSCOPIES. EVER.

Are we clear? ARE WE CLEAR? CRYSTAL??

 

Speaking of which, I had to get one a few months back...  That rain analogy is a pretty good way to describe the cleansing process... 

 

_{/:) Ducks}

[Vanimal46]

 

There are few rules for game threads. Virtually nothing is off topic. Let the conversation flow, like rain water, down hill, to the gutter.

But there is a limit. And I have the power to set it.

So let it be known, henceforth and forevermore: NO MORE MENTIONS OF COLONOSCOPIES. EVER.

Are we clear? ARE WE CLEAR? CRYSTAL??

Great... now I have to go back to the drawing board thinking of a new theme for tomorrow's game thread. 

[Craig Arko]

Great... now I have to go back to the drawing board thinking of a new theme for tomorrow's game thread.

 

How shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

Thou art more lovely and more temperate.

Colonoscopy.

The end.

[twinsnorth49]

 

There are few rules for game threads. Virtually nothing is off topic. Let the conversation flow, like rain water, down hill, to the gutter.

But there is a limit. And I have the power to set it.

So let it be known, henceforth and forevermore: NO MORE MENTIONS OF COLONOSCOPIES. EVER.

Are we clear? ARE WE CLEAR? CRYSTAL??

Too close to home?

[Vanimal46]

By the way, happy birthday to our favorite young pitching prospect Jose Berrios! 

Turning the big 22 today. 

[Blake]

 

There are few rules for game threads. Virtually nothing is off topic. Let the conversation flow, like rain water, down hill, to the gutter.

But there is a limit. And I have the power to set it.

So let it be known, henceforth and forevermore: NO MORE MENTIONS OF COLONOSCOPIES. EVER.

Are we clear? ARE WE CLEAR? CRYSTAL??

Someone still a bit sore from a recent excursion to the doctor?

[twinsnorth49]

It was about to rain for 40 days and 40 nights

 

Yeah..

 

 

[USAFChief]

Banned! The lot of you!

[DaveW]

I was supposed to be at this series this weekend in Seattle, after the brutal first 4-5 weeks of the season we decided to goto Paris, France (early next week) instead of west coast Twins watching.

 

The best part about Paris is it will be nearly impossible to watch this team. Now THAT is a vacation.

 

I think Pat Dean is in for a tough night tonight, the Mariners have some dudes that MASH LHP.

 

 

[Blake]

 

There are few rules for game threads. Virtually nothing is off topic. Let the conversation flow, like rain water, down hill, to the gutter.

But there is a limit. And I have the power to set it.

So let it be known, henceforth and forevermore: NO MORE MENTIONS OF COLONOSCOPIES. EVER.

Are we clear? ARE WE CLEAR? CRYSTAL??

By the way, excellent thread chum. Good job.

[gocgo]

 

Banned! The lot of you!

Does this mean no Purple Rain for the 8th inning break?

[Vanimal46]

It took some digging, but I found a clip of Chief leaving the doctor's office after his "routine check-up" to get him in the door. 


http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view7/3861271/pimp-kramer-o.gif

[USAFChief]

 

I think Pat Dean is in for a tough night tonight, the Mariners have some dudes that MASH LHP.

So what you're sayin' is...a hard rain's a-gonna fall.

[jimmer]

 

 

The best part about Paris is it will be nearly impossible to watch this team. Now THAT is a vacation.

 

 

The downside is, that it's Paris.

[Pardon My Dinger]

Speaking of colonoscopies, what's gotten up Chief's (bleep)?