Jump to content
Twins Daily
  • Create Account
  • sat·ire | (/ˈsaˌtī(ə)r/) | noun
    the use of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people's stupidity or vices, particularly in the context of contemporary politics and other topical issues.

    Twins Keeping Kepler in Lineup ‘Just to Spite Gleeman’ at This Point

    RandBalls Stu

    By RandBalls Stu

    ‘We’re aware we have many better options but sticking it to that guy is what gets me up in the morning,’ said a front office source.

    Image courtesy of © Brad Rempel-USA TODAY Sports

    Twins Video

    For a Twins offense that’s struggled mightily in 2023, Max Kepler has set the pace, a pace he’s arguably been setting for years. His replacement-level performance has been well-documented in the media, most notably by The Athletic’s Aaron Gleeman. Not once. Not twice. Let’s just say frequently.

    And the team has noticed.

    “Would we like to see what Matt Wallner can do? Yes,” said a Twins front office source. “Would we like to see what literally anyone can do out there? Of course. But that would mean acknowledging Gleeman had a point.

    “That’s not happening. Not today. Not tomorrow. Not ever.”

    Kepler is posting a dreadful 0.1 WAR for 2023 with a .193 batting average. The Twins have talent in St. Paul, including Forest Lake native Wallner, ready to step in. The source says fans shouldn’t get their hopes up.

    "We’re aware we have many better options but sticking it to that guy (Gleeman) is what gets me up in the morning," said the source. “Max has hit seven home runs this year. Each time he does, the video department has orders to send the clip to Gleeman’s inbox with a ‘’YOU LIKE WHAT YOU SEE IDIOT, THIS IS WHY SZECHUAN SPICE CLOSED’ subject line from a burner email. We hired a guy just to do this, I wish we could keep him busier.”

    Gleeman was unavailable for comment. His Athletic colleague, Dan Hayes, said in a statement that “I just want to watch the world burn.” Chrissie Bonnes, spouse of Gleeman’s podcast partner and Twins Daily co-founder John Bonnes, laughed for 35 minutes in a row when told of this story.

    The Twins host the Detroit Tigers on Friday at 7:10pm. Kepler is expected to start, go 0-4, and strand three runners. “I bet that’s going to drive Gleeman nuts,” said the source. “God, I love it. I love it so much.”

    Steve "Stu" Neuman. Local copywriter, husband, father of two, inventor of the atomic bomb.
    Follow RandBalls Stu on Twitter: RandBallsStu

    MORE FROM TWINS DAILY
    — Latest Twins coverage from our writers
    — Recent Twins discussion in our forums
    — Follow Twins Daily via Twitter, Facebook or email
    — Become a Twins Daily Caretaker

     Share
     Share
    Go to articles

    User Feedback

    Recommended Comments

    Bigfork Twins Guy

    Bigfork Twins Guy 1,790

  • Verified Member

    • Posted

    This sounds like as good a reason as any for keeping Kepler around.  I keep pulling my hair trying to think of why they keep Kepler around but Randball has obviously hit the nail on the head here.

    Link to comment
    Share on other sites
    Fornasiere-ite

    Fornasiere-ite 46

  • Verified Member

    • Posted

    You know we are all in trouble when Kepler actually does something productive and its a pleasant surprise. It kind of feels like the old NL days when a pitcher randomly cracks a double. Expectations are so low at this point, its laughable. 

    Link to comment
    Share on other sites
    BobAzar

    BobAzar 635

  • Gold Caretaker

    • Posted

    1 hour ago, Fornasiere-ite said:

    You know we are all in trouble when Kepler actually does something productive and its a pleasant surprise. It kind of feels like the old NL days when a pitcher randomly cracks a double. Expectations are so low at this point, its laughable. 

    I alway think of the scene in Little Big League when they say "Kid, don't you think there's a problem when you get that excited over a seeing-eye single?"

    Link to comment
    Share on other sites
    Beast

    Beast 1,095

  • Verified Member

    • Posted

    The reality that it’s because of the roughly $4M remaining of his $8M salary in the last year of his deal is even more ridiculous.

    I mean, he does bring some value defensively.  So he’s not totally useless.  But it’s pretty clear after the last 3 years that the guy just isn’t going to come around at the plate.

    Link to comment
    Share on other sites
    sampleSizeOfOne

    sampleSizeOfOne 14,391

  • Gold Caretaker

    • Posted

    6 hours ago, saviking said:

    Kepler, Pagan and dare I suggest we add Jorge Lopez to the list? Well, maybe not yet but he better get out of the gutter soon. 

    Oh, has Gleeman posted about Pagan or Lopez?

     

    I haven't been paying attention...

     

    I still hear the word frequently and think... "Exactly, you said often frequently only once."

    Link to comment
    Share on other sites


    Create an account or sign in to comment

    You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

    Create an account

    Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

    Register a new account

    Sign in

    Already have an account? Sign in here.

    Sign In Now

×
×
  • Create New...