Local Contrarian Quietly Deletes 'Zach Granite Is What Byron Buxton Hopes To Be' Tweet

[RandBalls Stu]

Unlikable Chaska man hopes to return focus to Buxton’s injury history.On Thursday, Barry Daniel made the hard decision to delete an August 2017 tweet with a claim that even he could no longer defend.

 

The tweet read “Face it, Twins apologists: Zach Granite is what Byron Buxton hopes to be. Deal with it. Sorry not sorry. #byronbuston.” The tweet also contained a GIF of Robert Redford slowly nodding in the film Jeremiah Johnson. Daniel said the intervening years have made this the wrong hill to die on.

 

“While I’m very pleased with the hashtag, the fact remains that (Granite) hasn’t played in a major league game in four years and Buxton leads the league in twenty statistical categories,” said the 39-year-old bachelor.

 

Daniel, who refused to wear a mask at the beginning of the COVID-19 pandemic and now only wears a mask outdoors “because the CDC has its own agenda,” said he will not apologize for the bad take.

 

“I refuse to admit I’m wrong, and if you look at it in a certain light, some might argue that the tweet is entirely correct,” said Daniel. “But deleting the tweet can return the focus back to where it ought to be, and that is Buxton’s frequent injuries.”

 

Buxton, who has missed a couple games this year with minor aches and pains, still leads the American League in home runs. Granite is currently with the Charlotte Knights, the Chicago White Sox Triple-A affiliate.

 

“As we wait for his next stint on the DL, it’s very easy for his gaudy, me-first numbers to distract you,” said Daniel, whose only friend is Hitchens, a cat that hates him.

 

When asked if he would delete the March 2019 tweet he made after the Twins traded Granite to the Texas Rangers (“Welcome to the World Series, Texas. Twins front office completely snookered again. #boygeniuses #yeahright”), Daniel said his account was likely hacked that day.

 

Image license here.

 

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[Darius]

Thrylos?

[denarded]

'Only wears a mask outside'

[Brock Beauchamp]

'Only wears a mask outside'

That part got me.

[dogsday]

Hard to believe he's still a bachelor. Seems like a highlight reel catch.

[sampleSizeOfOne]

'Only wears a mask outside'

Begs the question, how do you wear a mask on your inside?

[Don't Feed the Greed Guy]

Hitchens the Cat wants out of Chaska like Aaron Rodgers wants out of Green Bay.

[AZTwin]

We really need a mask comment?

[h2oface]

 

Thrylos?

 What happened to him? The last 10th Inning Stretch post is march 15, 2019.....

[h2oface]

Hitchens? The atheist cat?

[bradyhern]

Nicely written. One of your best.

[railmarshalljon]

 

We really need a mask comment?

 

Doesn't hurt

[railmarshalljon]

When you're making your resume for interview with The Onion in the future, don't forget to include this, Stu.

[Dodecahedron]

I'm pretty sure his ex ended up with Hitchens. His new cat's name is Wiglaf.

 

Good write-up otherwise tho.