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Game Thread: Twins vs. Astros 8-30 1:10 PM CST

Vanimal46

By Vanimal46
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Vanimal46 GOAT

Vanimal46

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Annd Welcome back! To Minnesota Twins Whine Line: GAME THREAD edition. Yesterday's game happened. It wasn't very fun, so I hope you all went to the Great MN Get-Together instead! The only update from the intern is that Mike Pelfrey has now decreased from 72 to 65 overall in MLB The Show. Meanwhile JO Berrios is sitting there in AAA, all 74 overall of him..... It's a day game today, which is prime drinking weather for Vanimal. I'm going to prepare a bloody mary while the intern goes through all of the garbage again. Intern, you're up........

 

Hi. It's going to be nice again. Sunny. 77 degrees for the first pitch. Getting hotter as we go along.

 

TWINS Lineup:

 

Dozier 2B

Escobar SS

Mauer 1B

Sano DH

Rosario RF

Nunez 3B

Robinson LF

Hermann C

Buxton CF

 

 

P - Ervin Santana ® 79 overall on MLB the Show! Dreads that are still too long!

 

ASTROS Lineup:

 

Altuve 2B

Gonzalez SS

Gattis DH

Rasmus RF

Gomez CF

Valbuena 3B

Carter 1B

Conger C

Marisnick LF

 

P - Lance McCullers ® Coming off of dead arm in AA!

 

Fantastic, I wouldn't be able to do this without your help intern! NOW, we're going to do something a little bit different this morning, I ran out of HOT Takes of the Day in 1 day. Sunday mornings are made for investigative stories and interviews. It's no different for Minnesota Twins Whine Line..... 

 

Moderator-Gate 2015 was a shocking discovery for all of us to read a couple of weeks ago. And for those unfamiliar with the story, you can find it HERE. In order to find out WHY the Moderators did this, we brought in an INSIDER to learn more details. This person went so DEEP undercover, that they actually became the cover that was given to them. It's UNCLEAR whether we will hear from this person anytime soon.... In order to protect their identity, their name was changed to Mr. Orange.. The following is our conversation:

 

Van: Mr. Orange, thank you for joining me in the Whine Line SCORCHING hot lounge. The TD community is shocked after reading the news of Moderator-gate 2015, and we're all looking for answers to the biggest conspiracy in the site's history.

 

Mr. O: Thank you for having me, Vanimal. I was expecting something a little more, high-tech, for a show this successful. 

 

Van: That's something we're working into the budget. Let's get into it Mr. Orange and talk MODERATOR GATE. Now, The story states that North was the originator of this master plan. How did he convince you to join his cause? And were there other moderators already bought in before you?

 

Mr. O: We all met last summer ... some may recall references to ModCon ... this is where most of the planning took place. North arrived at ModCon very decided that we were going to do this and had a general plan. After promises of lifetime supplies of Canadian delicacies (of beaver tails and poutine) we were all on board and detailed planning began in earnest. We kind of all were 'all in' together ... once the promised delicacies were promised. I'm not sure about the others, but I'm still awaiting my first shipment of beaver tails. (I declined the poutine ... Brian needed a double supply of poutine to get on board.) Something about postage being too high from Canada. Hey, North!! Where the hell are my beaver tails? Yes, a few of us are bit disgruntled.

 

Van: Were there any doubts in your mind about the plan overall?

 

Mr. O: Well ... part of the plan involved sea kayaking. I wasn't sure about this so we decided to test this out by kayaking around Lake Calhoun/Lake of the Isles/Cedar Lake. Unfortunately, we only made it around two of the lakes. A couple of the moderators needed a bit more coaching. Sadly, Brian and glunn just could not keep up ... literally and figuratively ... as their kayaking abilities were ... questionable.

 

Van: Which TD owner was the easiest to convince that this was a great idea?

 

Mr. O: Oh, Parker, absolutely. We just filled our proposal with all kinds of graphs and charts and video clips ... because we know how much he loves these things ... and he was immediately in love. I mean, his eyes did that thing you see in cartoons when a character is hypnotized. It didn't even matter that all those charts and graphs and video clips were fake ... the affect they had was all we needed for him to get all caught up in it. And Brock was pretty easy, too. I mean ... he's a young whippersnapper who easily bows to older authority figures.

 

Van: FASCINATING! What was Chief's role in the group? He seemed to be even more invested than North in the plan with his high-fiving and maniacal laugh....

 

Mr. O: He kept us all on task and in line. I mean, Chief's kind of scary. I just don't want to find out what his bite is like, no one did. Fear can sometimes be a good motivator. I mean, he would just scream at random people on the street 'GET OFF MY LAWN!' and 'THAT'S MY EKORNES LOUNGER!' Talk about maniacal. And scary.

 

Van: Yikes! I've been told don't mess with Texas, but Chief sounds TERRIFYING! While the plan was going on, were there any Moderators that got cold feet and thought, this isn't right?

 

Mr. O: Well, ChiTown, a little. I mean, you have to understand how ChiTown works. She's all about process and 'doing it right.' I mean, she knows how to do all this stuff here as a moderator better than anyone else, so sometimes can be a little ... well ... 'know it all.' And I don't mean that disparagingly, because she really does ... know it all. But it can come out as sometimes seeming like she knows it better. So, she sometimes questioned the plan here and there ... not in 'should we really do this?' but in 'are we doing this the right way?' I mean, she's about process and doing it right. After all, she was able to give proper directions through Minneapolis so Chief was able to get to Lake Calhoun from downtown without a hitch, while Riverbrian ended up somewhere east of Lake and Lyndale, going the wrong direction, and nearly getting into accidents a few times.

 

Van: Clearly ChiTown has the background to organize a big crime like this....It was a smart choice to trust a Canadian to outdrink an American. Did North have any insider help with closing the deal at Hubert's?

 

Mr. O: That was a lucky bit there. I mean, all he offered was a lifetime supply of Molson Candian Light. Good thing he got the owner drunk first so he didn't know any better. Surprised North didn't know any better. But that was almost the downfall right there.

 

Van: It get get ugly quick after 8 flights of IPA beer, but mission accomplished. So at the end of the day Mr. Orange, you're all $34 MILLION richer after this heist. Was it worth it?

 

Mr. O: No. It really wasn't. Even pooling our spoils, we were still unable to buy the Twins from the Pohlands... :(

 

Van: At least the advertising money was going towards buying the Twins. Have you taken any vacations to luxurious hotels yet? Or was that just North?

 

Mr. O: Well, considering vacations to luxurious hotels is North's MO, how is that any different now?

 

Van: Touche, Mr. Orange. Well, any final thoughts you want to get off of your chest?

 

Mr. O: Um ... oh! I know! Go Twins!

 

 

This has been THRILLING radio. Thank you for listening and let's WIN TWINS!

 

 

 

 

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Squirrel GOAT

Squirrel

Community Moderator
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Hey, wait ... I'm all about process? Know it all??? Hey! <disgruntled with that characterization!>

Vanimal46 GOAT

Vanimal46

Old-Timey Member
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Hey, wait ... I'm all about process? Know it all??? Hey! <disgruntled with that characterization!>

That might be a good thing that others think you can "organize" organized crime!

Vanimal46 GOAT

Vanimal46

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Molson Canadian Light? Never.......................ever. Methinks this Mr. Orange is an imposter!!

Believe me North, Mr. Orange is absolutely real if only they could realize their true identity again to surface on TD... I just don't think Mr. Orange is at that point yet coming off a DEEP undercover mission.

sampleSizeOfOne MVP

sampleSizeOfOne

Verified Member
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I apologize for perhaps being mildly incoherent (not that it'll be a change) on account of finally finishing off a belated carpentry project.

 

And yeah, i like my fingers, if for no other reason that they help me type. So carpentry will take my full attention when it is called for.

Riverbrian Cooperstown

Riverbrian

Old-Timey Member
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I apologize for perhaps being mildly incoherent (not that it'll be a change) on account of finally finishing off a belated carpentry project.

And yeah, i like my fingers, if for no other reason that they help me type. So carpentry will take my full attention when it is called for.

 

Send a Photo... Let's see your work

mlynch16 Prep Ball

mlynch16

Verified Member
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Santana looks decent through 1.  Lets hope that we can give him some offense because I feel like he will need it at some point today.

mlynch16 Prep Ball

mlynch16

Verified Member
Posted
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Well, crap ... 3 walks no only 1 run. Sorry but sheesh.

Everyone did their job.  Mauer got him over and Rosario got him in.  That's all you can ask.  Also, according to my math, if this pace keeps up we will win 8-0.

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