Joe Mauer Critic Support Group Attendance Surges As He Is Inducted Into Hall of Fame

[Lou Hennessy]

Longtime detractors of the Twins icon are licking their wounds as Mauer receives the game’s highest honor. 

Image courtesy of Brad Rempel, USA Today

It was a beautiful day for Twins fans as baseball’s Hall of Fame prepared for the induction of Joe Mauer into its hallowed list of the game’s mightiest heroes. But not everyone celebrated as St. Paul’s native son made history. 

A support group for Mauer’s staunchest critics was created in December after it was announced that he surpassed the 75% vote threshold that is necessary for induction into Cooperstown, and now that group has seen its attendance grow tenfold as he officially receives the game’s highest honor. 

“Look, this is a field where it’s gauche to celebrate a record-high number of participants seeking help,” said Dr. Richard Rivers of the Cope Harder Foundation. “But honestly, these people are some of the most miserable that I’ve ever met in my 32 years in the field, so I’m happy we can give them a place to try and release the toxic thought process that has lived in their head for years.”

The Cope Harder Foundation was started in 1992 by a group of mental health professionals who are keenly aware of the troubled nature of people who suffer from chronic pessimism. Their first group revolved around detractors who claimed the Twins had no shot of winning the pennant in 1991, but were proven woefully wrong after one of the most thrilling and satisfying championships in North American sports history.

Now, the majority of the participants that attend daily meetings are going through an identity crisis after years of adamant proclamations that they know "ball better than anyone," and that Mauer should be in the “Hall of Very Good” rather than Cooperstown.

“I just can’t get my head around the fact that voters thought this guy was one of the best players in the history of baseball,” said a befuddled client as they walked into CHF’s Highland Park campus. “How could Mauer get in but my guy Doug Mientkiewicz didn’t get a single vote? It just doesn’t add up.”

The groups start by trying to focus on reasonable explanations for how Mauer earned his honor. From talking about his numerous awards and accolades, to his strong character and hometown hero storyline, logic points to the Twins icon being more than deserving of induction. But the people seeking support from CHF defy logic, and may not even be able to define it. 

“He wasn’t even a catcher for the last four years of his career! This is lunacy,” said another attendee as a small vein in his forehead started to protrude. “How hard can it be? I catch for my beer league softball team every other week, and you don’t hear me complaining.”

Chronic pessimism has run rampant through Minnesota sports fandom for years. Experts say it’s a natural defense mechanism for emotionally immature losers that insist on spreading their pathetic gloom to those they see as happier and more well-rounded. So how can society alleviate themselves from the plight of these knuckle-dragging cynics?

“This has been a busy weekend for us, and it makes our mission a lot harder if we’re the only ones calling out our clients’ pitiful behavior in the light of so much celebration,” said Dr. Rivers from the observation room adjacent to the meeting area. “What we recommend is everyone printing out a copy of Mauer’s Baseball Reference page and showing it to any detractors at their first sign of lashing out. That usually shuts them up pretty damn fast.”

The Mauer-centered groups meet daily, just after the Packers Fan Living In Minnesota group gets out. For a list of future group openings, just consult Twitter after any regular season loss and follow the crowd of dimwits. 

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[ashbury]

I know this is meant as satire, but it feels like we're making fun of other fans for having opinions.  Satire should pick worthy targets.

[USAFChief]

1 hour ago, ashbury said:

I know this is meant as satire, but it feels like we're making fun of other fans for having opinions.  Satire should pick worthy targets.

Satire should also be clever. 

[tony&rodney]

Timely and it is noteworthy that Mauer received massive criticism from Twins fans, albeit loved by many others. National writers and comments from the coasts frequently wrote about how baffled they were concerning the barbs directed towards Mauer. 

[Lou Hennessy]

1 hour ago, ashbury said:

I know this is meant as satire, but it feels like we're making fun of other fans for having opinions.  Satire should pick worthy targets.

I'm sorry if this rubbed you the wrong way! I'll check the schedule at the Cope Harder Foundation to see if they have any groups that can help anyone who is feeling slighted. 

[Rod Carews Birthday]

5 hours ago, ashbury said:

I know this is meant as satire, but it feels like we're making fun of other fans for having opinions.  Satire should pick worthy targets.

 

3 hours ago, USAFChief said:

Satire should also be clever. 

It’s definitely clever.  If it also manages to make some uncomfortable defending a position to which they have set their flag, then it indeed accomplishes what good satire can and should do.  That’s the point, and I think it’s preferable to an article which blatantly screams that these guys are idiots.  

[Rod Carews Birthday]

Also. . . loved the crack about the 1991 doubters.  

[USAFChief]

7 minutes ago, Rod Carews Birthday said:

 

It’s definitely clever.  If it also manages to make some uncomfortable defending a position to which they have set their flag, then it indeed accomplishes what good satire can and should do.  That’s the point, and I think it’s preferable to an article which blatantly screams that these guys are idiots.  

Which position is that?

[tony&rodney]

9 minutes ago, USAFChief said:

Which position is that?

I'm not sure, maybe the author will explain further, but there were numerous people who adamantly felt that Joseph Mauer should not have been elected to the HOF or at least not on the first ballot. Mauer also received significant criticism locally for earning too much money. Maybe that is the reference, I'm not positive.

[Rod Carews Birthday]

16 minutes ago, USAFChief said:

Which position is that?

If you don't recognize the position, there is probably no complaint that needs to be registered and you are not the intended target of the criticism.  

It does, however, seem that there was a small but exceptionally vocal contingent that seemed to fit the descriptions put forth by the original author.

[USAFChief]

9 minutes ago, Rod Carews Birthday said:

 

It does, however, seem that there was a small but exceptionally vocal contingent that seemed to fit the descriptions put forth by the original author.

"Emptionally immature losers"?

"Knuckle dragging cynics"?

"Dimwits"?

 

I was under the impression such childish name calling was out of bounds here at TD.

I guess it depends.

 

And for the record, how many dimwits objected to Mauer in the HOF?

 

[Rod Carews Birthday]

52 minutes ago, USAFChief said:

"Emptionally immature losers"?

"Knuckle dragging cynics"?

"Dimwits"?

 

I was under the impression such childish name calling was out of bounds here at TD.

I guess it depends.

 

And for the record, how many dimwits objected to Mauer in the HOF?

 

I was always a much bigger fan of Justin Morneau than Joe Mauer.  I just liked him more.  There's not a lot of logic to it, nor is there for most fans of a particular player.  (I also really liked Danny Ford?!?!)  However, I recognized that Mauer was the superior player and certainly deserved the honors he received over the years.  For me to think otherwise would have been an "emotionally immature loser move" because I would have elevated another player illogically over him and his accomplishments because I liked the guy more.  I could also have pointed to the fact that Mauer didn't hit enough home runs and was just a punch and judy hitter and that I just knew more that everyone else and that Mauer didn't belong in the HOF because he didn't hit my decidedly arbitrary (and decidedly amateur) standard.  I believe that would have been a "cynical knuckle-dragging move."  Dimwits?  Well, they're everywhere.  I just try as hard as I can not to be one even though I only sometimes succeed. 

On a more serious note, and perhaps a more controversial stance, there always seemed to be too many fans (for my taste) that would continually denigrate a guy who was certainly a generational Twins talent, like Kirby Puckett, Rod Carew, and Harmon Killebrew before him.  Was he Johnny Bench?  Nope, and I don't think anyone else compares to maybe the greatest catcher of all time (and I hate the Reds).  Harmon Killebrew wasn't Babe Ruth either, and I'm immensely proud that he played for my team.  The message I take away from this original article is that some of those people might want to re-evaluate or reconsider their position because the rest of the baseball world (or at least 75+% of the baseball writers) has declared otherwise.  Perhaps the good-natured poke was too strong, but I think we are strong enough to handle it on Twins Daily.  We should all be celebrating Mr. Mauer today!

 

[USAFChief]

11 minutes ago, Rod Carews Birthday said:

 We should all be celebrating Mr. Mauer today!

 

Agreed.

I guess I fail to see how this piece does that.

[Craig Arko]

Well played, Mauer. Well played.

[ashbury]

6 hours ago, Lou Hennessy said:

I'm sorry if this rubbed you the wrong way! I'll check the schedule at the Cope Harder Foundation to see if they have any groups that can help anyone who is feeling slighted. 

The first sentence there started out gracious. 

But the second one seems to have mistaken me for one of the Mauer doubters.  I don't think you'll find a stronger advocate at TD through the years for his tenure with the Twins and then his HoF candidacy, the latter which boiled down to "if you don't like Mauer for the Hall then you basically don't want catchers there at all." He was the best of his era, and not for lack of good competition in guys like Buster Posey.

I didn't feel slighted. But I didn't feel entertained either, and said why.

[dxpavelka]

8 hours ago, ashbury said:

I know this is meant as satire, but it feels like we're making fun of other fans for having opinions.  Satire should pick worthy targets.

Sorry.  We listened to those opinions for over a decade.  Today they're fair game.

[dougd]

He should have hit that fly ball against the Yankees more fair.

[Schmoeman5]

The fact that Joe Mauer was inducted into the HOF is call for celebration whether you think he belongs there or not. I liked him but I didn't think he'd go in on the 1st ballot. The fact that he did make it didn't cause my head to explode. I can see the pros and cons from both sides. Molina is going to go in 1st ballot. Better defensive catcher; not nearly the hitter Mauer was. Will that cause fans too seek help from the Cope Harder Foundation?  Now that's funny

[Teflon]

Ah, Jonathan Swift, Voltaire, Twins Daily... 

 

[ashbury]

12 hours ago, Teflon said:

Ah, Jonathan Swift, Voltaire, Twins Daily...

"Name two satirists and a baseball website."