Off Season BluePrint: Money Laundering

[tvagle]

Seeings how it's not my money and I'd just as soon see a major shakeup of any of our Pro Sports teams, rather than be stuck in the middle of the pack as most (here's looking at you Lynx) of our teams seem to always be.

 

I post for pure entertainment a Twins BluePrint only a Money Launderer could appreciate

 

Any of these deals would be the biggest pro move since Herschel Walker ran into town with one shoe. Ultimately, at the end, you'll see what things would look like if ALL of the moves were executed (which might happen to any GM that did all this)

 

All moves look to bring in talent for the next couple years while keeping Lewis and Kirilloff...the trades assume that each trade partner wants to decrease payroll as well as get a decent return for some of the included players

 

Trade #1: Lets be Real - 2019 Money Laundered $37M Total Money Laundered: $61M

 

Front Office Comments:

In this deal the Twins launder the entire amount Miami needs cleaned at no cost. Levine's explains "this was a great opportunity to serve notice to the entire league how we will use all of our resources in non-traditional ways". Falvey adds "Just because me and Thad went to Little Ivy schools, don't sleep on what we can do economically"

 

Trade Details:

The Marlins asked for Lewis and Kirilloff in any deal for JTR, but by taking on their Castro and Chen the prospect ask, while still painful, was reduced enough to make this doable

 

Twins Trade:

Fernando Romero

Lewis Thorpe

Wander Javier

 

Marlins Trade:

J.T. Realmuto $6.1M - ARB

Starling Castro $11.857M - $1M

Wei-Yin Chen $20M - $22M 

 

Trade #2: A Couple G's Exchanged - 2019 Money Laundered $34.5M Total Money Laundered: $84.5M

 

Front Office Comments:

After the Marlin trade was announced the calls started coming in...AZ really is looking to shed some $$$

Levine quoted "Doing that first deal for free (cash wise) we had to charge for this one." Falvey added "Thad and me were binge watching Ozark on Netflix, while waiting for transcripts...I mean professional portfolios to come in for potential coaches, and that Teen Wolf guy had some outside the box ideas on handling large amounts of unused money...we started to think we could do the same thing."

 

Trade Details:

Kepler helps fill AZ OF issues (losing Pollock this year and Peralta next)

Twins will work to extend Goldschmidt ASAP

Grienke provides a slow fade from #2 starter as Berrios moves in the other direction towards #1

$10M per year to pay down Grienke provides positive cash flow (when applying MicroEconomic view)

 

Twins Trade:

Kepler $3.2M

Gordon

Gonsalves

Rooker

 

Diamondbacks Trade:

Paul Goldschmidt $14.5M

Zach Grienke $34.5M - $35M - $35M

$10M for 3 years <$10M> - <$10M> -<$10M>

 

Trade #3: The King and Edwin - 2019 Money Laundered $30M Total Money Laundered: $53M

 

Front Office Comments:

Levine at yet another pressser "What started out as a conversation about Paxton turned with the announcement of our first two trades...suddenly we were talking King's and Closers." Falvey "We may have taken on a little too much longer term dollars than we like to launder...but Thad stopped by the house while I was looking at my baseball card collection and we both really liked King Felix's rookie card."

 

Trade Details:

Twins offered Graterol for Diaz

M's countered with Felix added

Twins countered with Odorizzi to offset $$$

M's really wanted to shed cash...added Seager

Twins finally settled with addition of Colome in addition to the now standard Laundering charge of $30M over 3 years

 

Twins Trade:

Jake Odorizzi $9.4M

Brusdar Graterol

Tyler Austin

Mitch Garver

 

Mariners Trade:

Felix Hernandez $27.9M

Edwin Diaz $.6M 4 years Team Control

Kyle Seager $19.5M - $19.5M - $18.5M

Alex Colome $7.3M

$15M over 3 years <$15M> - <$10M> - <$5M>

 

Trade #4: Cubs Just Kept on Harpering  - 2019 Money Laundered $25M Total Money Laundered: $107M

 

Front Office Comments:

Levine, appearing a little nervous at this presser, opens with "This has been quite the off-season, hasn't it?" The following silence from a typically chatty press group only seemed to make Levine fidget more. Falvey too seemed uneasy announcing this trade "I have the utmost respect for Theo...were it not for him and the success he's had I'm not sure I'd be here today. When Theo actually returned my numerous calls and texts this year I knew something good was about to happen. We were able to right a miss we had last off season and like Morno-sie always tells me...the Twins need to be more like the Canadian Mounties and Always get their man! Today we're happy to report, we've finally acquired Yu Darvish"

 

Trade Details:

This trade is more about what the Cubs wanted and hoped for from the start of the Off-season, clearing enough to sign Bryce Harper

The Twins Laundering Plan may have got the best of them here...and one could argue this trade makes little sense at all

 

All attempts at including Addison Reed in this deal were rebuffed by Theo

Bringing back Kintzler was an homage to Molitor and becomes this years Matty B

Heyward and Russell were attached to Darvish

For this the Twins Merry Money Launderers raised their fee to $75M

 

Twins Trade:

Jason Castro $8M

LaMonte Wade

Luke Raley

 

Cubs Trade:

Jason Heyward $20M - $21M - $21M - $22M - $22M

Yu Darvish $20M - $22M - $22M - $19M - $18M

Addison Russell $4.3M

Brandon Kintzler $5M

$15M for 5 years <$15M> - <$15M> - <$15M> - <$15M> - <$15M>

 

This final trade needed to be completed in order for the Little Ivies to get the OK from ownership...how did they do that? Here's the presenter notes from that meeting:

 

Begin with Joe Mauer video montage

Slide 2: Mauer's expiring contract terms $184M/8years

Slide 3: Note that 2019 salaries total $184M for 25 players (quite the bargain comparatively)

Slide 4: Remind Jimmer that Mauer made $23M/year...Heyward only makes $21M

Slide 5: We really tried hard to get Darvish and he got his injury out of the way now

Slide 6: Focus on the $135M cash influx these trades generated

Slide 7: If things are going good, break out the "This is our chance to free Twins Fans from being...12 years a Slave"

 

Below is how this would shake out if all 4 trades were made:

 

 

[Richie the Rally Goat]

Fantastic! Well reasoned, well written! I’d love to see a move similar to these proposals actually happen for Falvey this offseason.

[glunn]

This is creative and interesting. And I am glad that Astudillo would remain.

[ashbury]

You've put my OOTP off-seasons to shame!

[Jacksson]

WOW !! Very aggressive and well thought out.

 

What became of Kyle Gibson?

What became of Jake Cave?

 

#1 Actually, I kind of like this one except for losing Romero.

Considering the $$ we save tne Marlins, give them two of: Slegers, Stewert, Mejia, Duffey.

#2 The critical part here is resigning Goldschmidt or now 1B in 2020.

Arizona is quoted as saying they will not bundle these two.

Arizona is quoted as saying they will not send any money out with Grienke.

Hate to lose Rooker, they may not want due to defense. May take Tyler Austin.

Don't like giving up Gonsalves HERE either. Perhaps a different arm or two?

#3 Is Seattle REALLY that desperate to shed payroll?

Not comfortable with Willins Austillo as the only back-up catcher. Would rather keep Garver.

The inclusion of Jason Castro may be a better choice.

I like the 2 relievers, not so much on the other 2 and their contracts.

#4 NOW you are really getting out there!

I don't really want any of these guys.

 

EVER Consider:

 

Castro back to the Astros - along with Duffey (maybe they can figure out how to use him)

Trade for: Raisel Iglesias from the Reds

Trade for Brandon Belt, Madison Bumgarner and Sam Dyson from San Francisco Giants.

 

Congratulations on good thought provoking moves. (But ignores free agency)

[ChrisKnutson]

Since the Phillies are looking to “dump” Carlos Santana, how about Blackenhorn and Rortvedt to the Phillies for 100% of Santana’s contract, J.P. Crawford, Ranger Suarez, and Yacksel Rios?

[tvagle]

 

Fantastic! Well reasoned, well written! I’d love to see a move similar to these proposals actually happen for Falvey this offseason.

 

Pretty sure Bill Pohlad would be the Producer

[tvagle]

 

You've put my OOTP off-seasons to shame!

 

Haven't played OOTP for several years

 

All simulation research for this post passed through Earl Weaver Baseball

 

 

on my Amiga500

 

[ashbury]

Consider upgrading to Backyard Baseball.

 

 

It may guide you toward the youngest prospect studs.

[tvagle]

 

What became of Kyle Gibson?
What became of Jake Cave?

Castro back to the Astros - along with Duffey (maybe they can figure out how to use him)
Trade for: Raisel Iglesias from the Reds
Trade for Brandon Belt, Madison Bumgarner and Sam Dyson from San Francisco Giants.

Congratulations on good thought provoking moves. (But ignores free agency)

 

Gibson was moved in another non-money laundering deal for 2 lottery ticket pitchers from Bowdoin College and Swarthmore College

 

Cave lost a Rock-Paper-Scissors best of 7 match to M. Reed for the final roster spot

 

All deals were with teams looking to drop salary....Astros and Reds don't fit that mode

 

Giants deal would work as well

[tvagle]

 

Since the Phillies are looking to “dump” Carlos Santana, how about Blackenhorn and Rortvedt to the Phillies for 100% of Santana’s contract, J.P. Crawford, Ranger Suarez, and Yacksel Rios?

 

Santana (and Belt) lost the 1B trade competition to Goldschmidt...this would work as well in this mindset

[tvagle]

 

Consider upgrading to Backyard Baseball.

 

 

BYBB is just way to graphically advanced...true analytical simulations must be done by scanning screen after screen of green lists or if available print outs on that extra wide green and white tractor-fed paper

 

Which reminds me of playing Oregon Trail at the Hennepin County Library in St. Louis Park and taking home the print out of the game session...yes there was no screen...you watched the printer for updates and to hunt you had to type words like BANG or SHOOT fast enough to bag a deer

 

Ahhhh the good old days

 

Given away at the Library as well...by each player

[PseudoSABR]

Charmingly improbable.

[ahart10]

I was totally on board until Heyward showed up.

[IndianaTwin]

Consider upgrading to Backyard Baseball.

 

 

It may guide you toward the youngest prospect studs.

Now that you mention it, I’d consider trading Royce Lewis after all.

 

As long as we get Pablo Sanchez in return.

[tvagle]

 

Now that you mention it, I’d consider trading Royce Lewis after all.

As long as we get Pablo Sanchez in return.

 

Excellent recall all the way from the Hoosier State!

[nicksaviking]

***Moderator Note***

 

These team building exercises are clearly hypothetical, clearly unlikely and clearly just something fun to do while we have no baseball to watch. If for some reason these fantasy proposals bother you, I'm sorry, but please refrain from making thread derailing comments.

[RatherBeGolfing]

Insert Money Laundering reference from Office Space here

[jorgenswest]

Fun read...

 

The Twins really do have an opportunity to take on salary at the expense of another team’s budget crunch. Let’s hope they turn it to their advantage.

[Doomtints]

The Mariners are screwed. Look at how many players they have exposed in the Rule 5 draft this year! TERRIBLE management. No team should lose that many players at once. They should have been pulling off trades, even if they're just swapping minor league players.

 

I like your ideas overall.

 

Also, the Amiga days were fun days. I had a love affair with my C-128, though I did have an Amiga 2000 around too.

[Brandon]

The Mariners are screwed. Look at how many players they have exposed in the Rule 5 draft this year! TERRIBLE management. No team should lose that many players at once. They should have been pulling off trades, even if they're just swapping minor league players.

 

I like your ideas overall.

 

Also, the Amiga days were fun days. I had a love affair with my C-128, though I did have an Amiga 2000 around too.

Once a player is taken the team gets to protect three more not on the 40 man if i remember correctly. Also seattle has a terrible farm system so those available are not great prospects.

[Richie the Rally Goat]

Insert Money Laundering reference from Office Space here

Salami slicing is embezzlement, not money laundering.