Minnesota Twins Whine Line: Season 2

[Vanimal46]

 

Hi Van, let's hear some predictions.

 

Twins wins?

 

Most outlandish Twins controversy?

 

Most outlandish TD controversy?

 

Minor leaguer that will make the most impact?

Diehard! Thanks for the call. This is what I've been waiting for, the HARD Hitting questions that we all want to know... 

Twins Wins? Can I say 150? Yeah, 150 wins sounds reasonable. 

Most Outlandish Twins Controversy? That Trevor May is a robot programmed by the team to take any demotion without complaint.. 

Most Outlandish TD Controversy? That Chief is former Minnesota Timberwolf LaTrell Sprewell and still claiming he's not making enough money to feed his family. 

 

Minor Leaguer that will make the most impact? J.T. Chargois. I have no merit to back this up. I just like saying Shag-waa

[DiscGolfer]

Do you think this will be the year the Twins trade Joe Mauer?  Or move him back to catcher?  If they do that it would open up 1st for Sano and then bring up Kepler.  It seems so simple.  If they do trade him do you think they could get Clayton Kershaw in return, they could always throw in Nolasco to sweeten the deal.  Thoughts?

[Platoon]

Do you think this will be the year the Twins trade Joe Mauer?  Or move him back to catcher?  If they do that it would open up 1st for Sano and then bring up Kepler.  It seems so simple.  If they do trade him do you think they could get Clayton Kershaw in return, they could always throw in Nolasco to sweeten the deal.  Thoughts?

My sarcasm meter went off the charts! It came up just short of the WTF marking! "Throw in Nolasco to sweeten the deal"!

[Vanimal46]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QWMKWLY74do

ANND Welcome Back! To Minnesota Twins Whine Line. It's been a rough couple of days here in the studio. The intern has refused to shower, change clothes, or leave the studio until the Twins get a win. I'm starting to worry about him... 

Anywho, Eduardo Escobar! He's pretty good, right? I also REALLY enjoyed watching Dozier bunt. He's taking the advice from this show that bunting every single at-bat = WS Championship!!

We also have some VERY exciting news! Chief mentioned earlier that we don't have free swag to give away. Not so fast, my friend! The 2nd caller will receive a free McDonald's meal courtesy of North! What a kind gesture! 

I'm going to get some coffee, and we'll take calls in the order that they were received. You're on Minnesota Twins Whine Line, hello?

[Mike Sixel]

Is the wimpy MN media going to ask Molitor if that was a sacrifice bunt, and if so, are they going to inform him how stupid that is?

 

I assume that Jack Goin has tried.......

[Vanimal46]

 

Is the wimpy MN media going to ask Molitor if that was a sacrifice bunt, and if so, are they going to inform him how stupid that is?

 

I assume that Jack Goin has tried.......

Thank you for the call, Mike. There are several reporters in Minnesota that ask the HEAVY hitting questions... I'm sure Sid Hartman is going to drill Molitor today! Or wait, Pat Reusse! Nah, not him either. Lavelle E Neal! Wait, he's dipped in the company ink.... Well, I guess we're out of options. It's tough to ask those heavy hitting questions when you have a cushy chair in the press box with pre-game food.... 

Minnesota Twins Whine Line has already sent in this wonderful book to Molitor to study up for the next game... 

http://media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/a9/a8/5a/a9a85a364e911c3ebba651ca7f3d6fa6.jpg

[Platoon]

Van Master,

You are coming in loud and clear on WWTF, the So MN News Giant! Do you think it's too early to over react? Or should we wait until the end of the week. Which begs the question? If we wait to the end of the week to over react, is it still over reacting. Btw, if North is providing swag, what's wrong with Tom Nortons, or whatever that donut shop is called in Canada? Please respond quickly, it's lonely I'm moms basement!

[Vanimal46]

 

Van Master,
You are coming in loud and clear on WWTF, the So MN News Giant! Do you think it's too early to over react? Or should we wait until the end of the week. Which begs the question? If we wait to the end of the week to over react, is it still over reacting. Btw, if North is providing swag, what's wrong with Tom Nortons, or whatever that donut shop is called in Canada? Please respond quickly, it's lonely I'm moms basement!

Congratulations Platoon! You are caller #2!!! North will be driving down to Minnesota and personally take you out to McDonald's for lunch! 

I don't think it's EVER too early to over react. That's when we get our best scorching hot takes! Here's a personal favorite of mine that I just read this morning on the Star Tribune article.... The Twins just spent a month in FL where it's been 75-80 degrees. Now they're going to a place where it's 30 degrees cooler. No wonder why their bats haven't shown up! Makes PERFECT sense to me, considering the Twins are the only team that travels to a warm destination for ST! 

[Mike Sixel]

I really do hope that anyone that reads this knows that this is a joke thread......but this thread is reason 100000 I can't run for office, people that say ridiculous things like I have on this type in show could never be elected......

[Vanimal46]

 

I really do hope that anyone that reads this knows that this is a joke thread......but this thread is reason 100000 I can't run for office, people that say ridiculous things like I have on this type in show could never be elected......

What are you talking about Mike? Of course you can run for office! I'm doing that right now! 

http://media.salon.com/2013/10/ted_cruz7.jpg

[Platoon]

...........but this thread is reason 100000 I can't run for office, people that say ridiculous things like I have on this type in show could never be elected......

It's a sad commentary on our political system that you, yes you Mike, might be qualified for public office! .

[Platoon]

Congratulations Platoon! You are caller #2!!! North will be driving down to Minnesota and personally take you out to McDonald's for lunch! 

I don't think it's EVER too early to over react. That's when we get our best scorching hot takes! Here's a personal favorite of mine that I just read this morning on the Star Tribune article.... The Twins just spent a month in FL where it's been 75-80 degrees. Now they're going to a place where it's 30 degrees cooler. No wonder why their bats haven't shown up! Makes PERFECT sense to me, considering the Twins are the only team that travels to a warm destination for ST.

 

I wonder if that's where the term "bats cooled off" comes from. I do hope The Northman shows up during one of those 3 day stretches when they have the McRibs!

[Squirrel]

Hey ... long-time listener and caller ... when did you become a political show? I thought this was the place for hot takes in BASEBALL? Aren't there enough quasi-pseudo-questionable media outlets already reporting untruthful politics ad nauseum? I really wish you'd have stuck to baseball. I don't really care if mike will or won't run for school board. I might have to channel surf on my car radio now ... long-time listener tuning out now.

[Mike Sixel]

Stick to sports.....what are you, a follower of Craig Calciterra or KLAW on twitter?

 

But, I agree, I should never have brought itup.

[Vanimal46]

 

Hey ... long-time listener and caller ... when did you become a political show? I thought this was the place for hot takes in BASEBALL? Aren't there enough quasi-pseudo-questionable media outlets already reporting untruthful politics ad nauseum? I really wish you'd have stuck to baseball. I don't really care if mike will or won't run for school board. I might have to channel surf on my car radio now ... long-time listener tuning out now.

 

Believe me ChiTown, the last thing I want to do is make this a political show.. I don't have the knowledge, energy, or willingness to do so... Back to the SCORCHING hot takes! 

[Vanimal46]

The intern brought up a great idea... Since the Twins refuse to use their bench, why not have 9 position players and 16 pitchers?? Considering the bullpen is already breaking down from overuse, I heavily endorse this move.. Your thoughts?

[Platoon]

I really do hope that anyone that reads this knows that this is a joke thread......but this thread is reason 100000 I can't run for office, people that say ridiculous things like I have on this type in show could never be elected......

Your comment about having made 100,000 ridiculous things, while obviously understated, should have been viewed as a commentary on your human frailties, not as a political statement! . I therefore apologize profusely for turning it in that direction! The Lady in Chicago is correct, politics have no place on Whine Line. I personally feel they are far more appropriate in "Off the Baggy" articles!

[Platoon]

The intern brought up a great idea... Since the Twins refuse to use their bench, why not have 9 position players and 16 pitchers?? Considering the bullpen is already breaking down from overuse, I heavily endorse this move.. Your thoughts?

Have you reminded the intern that he is in "Twins Territory"? And in the event of an injury, when you reside in "Twins Territory", you must have an excess of bench players in the event of an injury. Putting an inexperienced pitcher, or IF, in RF after an injury would violate the long held concept of "Respect for the Game"! Making a mockery of MLB! Such shenanigans are frowned upon highly at One Twins Way.

[formerly33]

Hey Vanimal ... wait ... you there, Van? Hello? Oh, hi. Glad to catch ya ... I'm in a bit of a predicament right now and thought you'd have some good advice.

 

To get directly to the point, right about this time last year I received multiple emails informing me that I had prostate cancer and needed to take action before things escalated. Unfortunately, this event happened to coincide with the beginning of a baseball season, so I ignored the warning and went on with my life. However, this morning I awoke to a bombardment of emails with tips on how to get an erection ... I'm wondering if this might be a direct result of the cancer and, if so, should I be concerned? I must admit I'm a bit hesitant to ignore these emails, too, as I hardly relish the idea of one year from now discovering to my dismay that, unbeknownst to me, I had a prostatectomy two months previously and it failed. http://i.imgur.com/KF1MK.gif

[Craig Arko]

 

Hey Vanimal ... wait ... you there, Van? Hello? Oh, hi. Glad to catch ya ... I'm in a bit of a predicament right now and thought you'd have some good advice.

 

To get directly to the point, right about this time last year I received multiple emails informing me that I had prostate cancer and needed to take action before things escalated. Unfortunately, this event happened to coincide with the beginning of a baseball season, so I ignored the warning and went on with my life. However, this morning I awoke to a bombardment of emails with tips on how to get an erection ... I'm wondering if this might be a direct result of the cancer and, if so, should I be concerned? I must admit I'm a bit hesitant to ignore these emails, too, as I hardly relish the idea of one year from now discovering to my dismay that, unbeknownst to me, I had a prostatectomy two months previously and it failed. http://i.imgur.com/KF1MK.gif

You must have clicked on one of the ads here.

[formerly33]

 

You must have clicked on one of the ads here.

Nah, it's Brock's revenge for the installation of adblock in this browser.

 

Wait ... can you inflict prostate cancer on someone? Especially a woman??

 

Van???

[Platoon]

Hmmm, we have went from politics to erections! Hopefully neither lasts over 4 hours!

[twinsnorth49]

Tim Nortons?......oh dear, I love you my American friends and all your egocentric charm .

[Vanimal46]

ANND Welcome Back! After taking the afternoon to celebrate National Beer Day, I come back to find the show derailing quickly. I'm glad we're back in the swing of things here on Minnesota Twins Whine Line! Politics, erections, SPORTS SPORTS SPORTS my whole life is SPORTS... I already had my cup of coffee, and I see there's some voice mails waiting for me! 

[Vanimal46]

 

Hey Vanimal ... wait ... you there, Van? Hello? Oh, hi. Glad to catch ya ... I'm in a bit of a predicament right now and thought you'd have some good advice.

 

To get directly to the point, right about this time last year I received multiple emails informing me that I had prostate cancer and needed to take action before things escalated. Unfortunately, this event happened to coincide with the beginning of a baseball season, so I ignored the warning and went on with my life. However, this morning I awoke to a bombardment of emails with tips on how to get an erection ... I'm wondering if this might be a direct result of the cancer and, if so, should I be concerned? I must admit I'm a bit hesitant to ignore these emails, too, as I hardly relish the idea of one year from now discovering to my dismay that, unbeknownst to me, I had a prostatectomy two months previously and it failed. http://i.imgur.com/KF1MK.gif

Always, as always, thank you for the call. Now, I'm not a doctor, but I think you should be VERY concerned about this. I've found out that the internet knows more about me than I know about me! So if the internet wants to show you how to get an erection, well.... I'd think long and HARD about taking the internet's advice. 

[Mike Sixel]

Vanimal......hope you enjoyed beer day, yoga is a good antidote......

 

As for the Twins, um, maybe Esco should hit first, and Dozier 7th? I mean, seriously, one is a total stud and the other a dud, right? Wait, is this the over reaction thread, or the whine line thread? It's really hard giving up coffee the same week you work from the west coast at 545 am.....

[Vanimal46]

 

Vanimal......hope you enjoyed beer day, yoga is a good antidote......

 

As for the Twins, um, maybe Esco should hit first, and Dozier 7th? I mean, seriously, one is a total stud and the other a dud, right? Wait, is this the over reaction thread, or the whine line thread? It's really hard giving up coffee the same week you work from the west coast at 545 am.....

Mike, you are a crazy man for giving up coffee AND dealing with the 2 hour time zone difference. Fortunately you made it to the right place. That is a great idea to bat Esco 1st and Dozier 7th! In fact, the Intern has been trying to beat the thought in my head that your best hitter is supposed to hit 1st....

Poor Dozier. The guy is lost right now. We have a few theories why the bat just isn't there.... 

- He has won the Twins Best Dressed Award 2 years in a row... Could it be going to his head??
- Has anyone checked the weight of his bat? Perhaps he's forgotten to take the donut weight off before stepping into the batter's box. 

- What's his vision looking like these days? Does he need LASIK?

- He spent all off-season playing home run derby in the backyard, and now his swing is completely ruined trying to uppercut the ball. 

 

One of these reasons HAS to be the real reason why he's terrible so far. 

[Vanimal46]

 

Hmmm, we have went from politics to erections! Hopefully neither lasts over 4 hours!

 

Check out our new hire on the Minnesota Twins Whine Line team!! 

 

[Vanimal46]

ANNND Welcome back! To an EMERGENCY Edition of Minnesota Twins Whine Line. It's times like these that bring me back to the time when this whole show got started. The Twins stunk, which made coming to Twins Daily depressing. So let's get back to our ROOTS around here...

 

If I wanted to watch garbage on TV I would leave the channel on E! and lose the remote somewhere. The intern and I weren't expecting it to be this bad so soon. Let's get out frustrations out, and suggest INNOVATIVE ways to improve this team.

 

I just cracked open a beer, and ready to take calls in the order that they were received. You're on Minnesota Twins Whine Line, hello?

[USAFChief]

VAnna Roseannadanna...long time listener, long time caller, Yada Yada. Thought exercise for ya to chew on...suppose the Twins bullpen could face the Twins lineup. I know, I know, but work with me here. What would happen? Who would win, the resistable force? the movable Object? Would Fien suddenly develop a K rate of 2 per 9? Would Buxton put up a 950 Ops?

 

Or would it all get called on account of rain?